When DH and I first got married, we asked MIL to store a recliner in her basement. It was the recliner my mother rocked me in when I was a baby (she died when I was 19 months old).
A while later, I learned that MIL had donated this rocker to an organization that was collecting furniture for people who had lost their homes in a flood. I was PISSED. And hurt.
I realize this might make me sound like a jerk. I honestly don’t care. She should have talked to me about it. And, she didn’t give away any of her own furniture.
Overall I love my MIL and it’s not something that affects our daily relationship. But man, if I’m reminded of it...
Post by Wallflower on Sept 13, 2020 12:51:41 GMT -5
When I was just out of college, I lost two family members in two weeks - separate sides of the family, unrelated incidents, one old and one young. After the first, I was down and kept to myself a bit, uninterested in socializing. A "friend" I'd been hanging out with sent a condolence card after the second one with a PS, "Are you mad at me?" Yeah, I never spoke with her again and will only speak to her at HS reunion events to keep the peace.
And the boss who fired me from a position, *knowing* they'd decided to move me back to my previous position, but told me, "I don't know if you have a job now." Asshole.
My boss took away my job and gave it to her daughter’s best friend, and had the audacity to tell me I should be thankful they were calling it a layoff. She sucked, and that job sucked, and getting out when I did turned out to be a good thing for my career. But I’m still mad.
My SIL was pregnant when H and I got engaged. ILs took the whole family out to dinner to announce/celebrate it, and SIL decided that was the perfect opportunity to announce her baby names. She made everything all about her/them for the rest of the night. Normally I don’t like being the center of attention and am relieved when SIL takes over, but I’m still annoyed that she couldn’t let us have one night.
-A cousin who teased me mercilessly about my weight as a kid. She was horrible and did it every time I saw her until I cried.
-The WIC lady for telling me I needed to lose weight...the week I had my baby. I cried in the office waiting for my husband to pick me up.
-People that say they are coming to dinner and then "no show". No text, no call, no nothing. I have a mental running list of my husband's coworker's that have made it to the no longer invited listed.
-All the people who told me I couldn't do x, y or z because of my cerebral palsy. Or it would be really hard so I shouldn't even try.
This post makes me hate people so much.
Thankfully I have a great support network (and did as a kid/teen as well) so it made me try/work harder to show myself they were wrong. But yes, some people are awful. I've run into less of those type of people as I've aged and only once in the workplace. Man were they terrified I'd sue. I could've, but I didn't. I was maybe 26 at the time.
freshman year in college I took an intro to psych class and had our first exam. I studied and am a good test taker if it is a subject a like.
Day of the test I go in and confidently take the test along with 150 other students or so. I finished the test in about 45 minutes (for a 2 year exam) and went to hand it in. In front of the stadium of other students, the professor announced to the rest of the class that "It is never a good sign when a student finishes a test this quickly. I hope you all put in more effort than this."
I got a fucking 100% because the test was easy. I should have asked for a public apology.
-A co worker (that has never had kids BTW) commenting on my swollen feet/ankles when I was pregnant with triplets in the summer in Texas. FU lady!
-A friend/neighbor that barely acknowledged when my Mom died. I have done so much for her family including staying at her house twice over night with her kids when they had a medical emergencies with her husband and her special needs son. I have brought them dinner and taken her older kids countless times when they needed help. I know she has a lot on her plate but it really pissed me off. We are still friends but I do hold a grudge. Thankfully they don't live two houses down anymore so I don't see her a lot and don't help her anymore.
freshman year in college I took an intro to psych class and had our first exam. I studied and am a good test taker if it is a subject a like.
Day of the test I go in and confidently take the test along with 150 other students or so. I finished the test in about 45 minutes (for a 2 year exam) and went to hand it in. In front of the stadium of other students, the professor announced to the rest of the class that "It is never a good sign when a student finishes a test this quickly. I hope you all put in more effort than this."
I got a fucking 100% because the test was easy. I should have asked for a public apology.
Asshole. Something similar happened to me.
I had to take an accounting class in my HR program. I had already taken several accounting classes and worked as a bookkeeper for years before perusing HR. The prof said he tended to get harsher with his grading the longer he was marking, meaning the exams handed in first got graded last. I finished first and when I handed it in he asked me if I was certain that I was done because my test would be graded the harshest and I had missed a lot of classes.
I missed a lot of classes because I was in my first trimester with DS, exhausted and sick, and I had so already been there and done that. He was such a shitty teacher that I ended up tutoring most of the people in the class online. I finished the course with a 98% average.
Post by tarzanswife on Sept 14, 2020 11:09:03 GMT -5
-My cousins who live 1.5 hours away and never coming to my home. I have spent years traveling to their homes to visit them for holidays and birthdays. I tried to host Thanksgiving one year and everyone cancelled at the last minute. No one came. They told me it was too far to drive but that we can come visit them. -The same cousins who after I told them I was getting a divorce never called me again. (these are my cousins, not his) -My mother for ruining my sons kindergarten graduation. -My mother for ruining last Christmas. -My mother for almost ruining my wedding day. -My neighbors for allowing me to host their son for many play dates but never inviting my son over.
Post by Aloe Vera on Sept 14, 2020 11:39:45 GMT -5
One of my acquaintance's husband. I hate him. He is a racist POS Trump supporter. I invited them to my wedding and hooray! he couldn't come because he was hunting. Wedding day. Apparently he got bored while hunting so he showed up to the cocktail hour unannounced. In jeans and a t-shirt. But the worst part is that he had no seat reserved for him since he RSVP'ed no. He just sat with his wife and displaced a couple. Said couple displaced other people and soon we had a whole fucking mess with some tables for 8 people with 10/12 people on them and another one with only 2 people. Did I also mention we paid a lady to take care of all this stuff and she was nowhere to be found when this shitshow happened? A couple was leaving the dinner since they had nowhere to seat anymore! Of, I am still mad almost 3 years later.
A good friend I had. We had a lot in common due to similar experiences growing up. We kept the relationship after my divorce (her H was my ex's friend). One day, she ghosted me and I am still sad about it. The only reason I can think of since I had an amicable divorce is that she had just had a new baby and I was back in the dating scene maybe with a little bit of her H is my ex's friend and it's awkward.
My former best friend. She started dating my XH about 2 months after the divorce was finalized. I should note that I also hold a grudge against XH, but this was just one last thing to add to his list of shitty things he had done, so not out of character I guess, but to have a girlfriend who knew ALLLLLL the abuse and shit that went down still choose to be with him is just not something I think I will ever forgive.
Maybe petty, but I definitely laughed to myself when the news broke that she was being furloughed (we had met in flight attendant training and our entire class was furloughed). I was unemployed for 3 months when XH and I were first married, and he was a raging dick about it every day, so I feel like he earned this somehow. Meanwhile, I am at the highest point in my career and am currently working through a deal that is looking like it will potentially net me a high six figure stock payout. I am just trying to figure out the best way to announce this on facebook without looking like a total ass. I just want to "brag" about it so that XMIL will see (we're still friendly) and she can relay the news of my good fortunes...so if anyone has any ideas...lol
Also my SIL for making everyone cater to her dietary needs and then NEVER EATING ANY OF IT. The first year I bought a $30 gluten free/everything free pie and she didn't have a single piece and then didn't want to take it with her after dinner. WTF.
A friend who is the closest I have to a best friend the feeling isn't mutual anymore. I feel she's pushed me out because she doesn't like my shitty husband (I can't blame her, I don't like him either) and judges me for having a second kid with him whereas she divorced her shitty husband in under 2 years, no kids. She comes to visit her mom 20 minutes away and never swings by my house, I've stopped asking. She lives an hour away and I visited her with DD when we were in the vicinity once on a Sunday. She went out of her way to fly to another city and be present at the birth of a mutual friend's first son but she didn't visit my son ever after he was born (she was invited). Just met him at events of mutual friends. That's the overall move that really made me feel grudgy. My son is now 2.5.
The people who never give firm RSVPs when I go out of my way to host events. Or give lame excuses of why they can't come when I get it together and show up to their stuff over the years. Or they do show up and make it clear that my event is second place, they're just "stopping by" before heading out to their preferred event. I throw really nice parties with plenty of good food and booze. I find all of this offensive but I could just be old. The last time it happened, I called out my husband's cousin who gave a super late RSVP and I had to go shopping again to increase all of my food purchases because the husband is a big meat eater and it was a barbecue. He just gave a half laugh and ignored me.
Also for being served ice cream cake on flat white paper plates at above late RSVP cousin's house. The cake was for the wife's birthday, same BEC wife whose particular vegetarian diet I've accommodated for many years when she has appeared at my events. I made a comment and made sure they heard me. They could afford real dishes, I saw the real dishes in the cabinets! And if you're going to be lazy and serve ice cream cake on throwaway dishes just so you don't have to wash the real dishes later, then at least have some disposable bowls around or those little paper plates with the rolled edges I get for my kids parties. Then being semi-scolded by my husband that I should have not said anything.
Post by livinitup on Sept 14, 2020 12:42:35 GMT -5
When my DD turned 4 we had a kids birthday party on a Saturday at a party place and invited H’s all adult family to our home for a late afternoon family dinner - 7 people. One person declined and the remaining 6 would not tell us if they were coming or not. Unapologetically. How the hell do you plan dinner for 0 or 7 guests?
I solved it by serving a cold cheese platter and making a tray of lemon chicken and potatoes with a Caesar salad and really good bread. I figured it would keep well for leftovers. And just got a big cake for DD.
All 7 showed-up including the only person who rsvp’ed no. It actually made me laugh. I could laugh because I had it all ready and hosted like a boss. But how rude !!
I'm still salty about the 4 people who said they would attend my wedding and didn't show and never said a word to me about it. One even asked me the week of about it. We still had to pay for their seats and food and if I had known they weren't coming I would have invited two other couples to come to the wedding instead. It's been 11 years and when I see them pop up in my facebook feed around my anniversary I think about it.
I rarely let things go. But this is the biggest and longest one.
*My brother who for YEARS cannot seem to get his shit together. Started around when I was 12 and he was 18 - he was on drugs, stole a car and was arrested on his way to the chop shop, stole from my parents, stole a family heirloom from my great grandmother that was left for me for when I turned 18, used my parents SS #s to open credit cards he never paid, and he spent some time in jail for various other reasons. He really put my parents through hell. I was pretty young through a lot of it, but I still remember overhearing conversations and my mom crying over it. And the lies, the constant lying. And he wasn't even very good at it. It would be blatantly obvious he was lying and he would stick to the lie or even exacerbate it.
*To this day he's the same POS. My dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer 2 years ago. My brother would say he wants to help and be involved, but then he always had an excuse. Everything fell on me. I took my dad to all of his chemo and radiation treatments, while maintaining my career - thank god for my boss. I still take him to his regular follow-up appointments with the oncologist (he now goes every 6 months instead of every 3 months - YAY). A little over a year ago there was a particular day that it was going to be difficult for me to rearrange things to take my dad to his appointment. My H was OOT for work. My dad asked my brother if he could take him this one time. My brother said he couldn't (like right off the bat, didn't even try) and my dad got super pissed off. Their next conversation, in which this came up, ended with my bother saying the situation is "too negative" for him and he's going to remove himself. Read: "I don't like being called out on my lies so leave me alone". None of us have talked to him since - it's been well over a year.
I found out through a Google search that he filed Chapter 13 bankruptcy earlier this year. Not surprised at all. He filed Chapter 7 a while back, so he's a pro at it. This summer my parents had him removed from their investments where he was a beneficiary, their wills and POAs, and also had verbiage added to their wills in case he tried to contest it.
Post by Whitecaps on Sept 14, 2020 14:13:13 GMT -5
My former employer - who fired me after I had surgery and developed complications and couldn't work and had to go on leave. The day my FMLA ran out they put a three-line notice in the REGULAR MAIL to me, then emailed the rest of staff informing them I was no longer employed. I found out I didn't have a job from a coworker who called that day to say she was sorry.
]Also for being served ice cream cake on flat white paper plates at above late RSVP cousin's house. The cake was for the wife's birthday, same BEC wife whose particular vegetarian diet I've accommodated for many years when she has appeared at my events. I made a comment and made sure they heard me. They could afford real dishes, I saw the real dishes in the cabinets! And if you're going to be lazy and serve ice cream cake on throwaway dishes just so you don't have to wash the real dishes later, then at least have some disposable bowls around or those little paper plates with the rolled edges I get for my kids parties. Then being semi-scolded by my husband that I should have not said anything.
I’m holding out for the post from the woman who hosted a party, gave her guests ice cream and delicious cake, and got called out by an ingrate who felt the plates were not up to her standards.
I'm still pissed about exH's friend who RSVP'd yes to our wedding and never showed up. Plus, he RSVP'd a +1 even though we didn't invite him with a +1 but we added and PAID for the +1 and then he never showed up. I was out nearly $300 and never spoke to the man again.
My exMIL who was babysitting my then infant, toddler, and 12 year old. She "didn't feel well" (she's a known hypochondriac), called my exH at work to tell him she was sick, and just left. Didn't wait for him to get home, hell, she didn't even tell my 12 y/o that she was leaving so he could watch the kids, he just came downstairs when he heard them both crying and discovered that there was no adult to be found. She did a lot of shitty things, all of which exH forgave her for and I never will.
My Dad and brother who accused me of stealing stuff from my deceased grandmothers house. We ultimately found out that it was my nieces deadbeat, drug addict ex-husband, but they never apologized to me and I'll never forgive them for accusing me even in the first place. We're cordial now, but I'll never get over it.