I was with you up until your last sentence. How did not attending an event screw up your life?
It wasn't the inability to attend the event, but the fact that I still hold a grudge today. I hate that I cannot get past this and assume that she'd be as selfish today as she was 30 years ago. I don't like the fact that I didn't feel like I could loan her money without making sure I'd get it back. I guess it's more lack of trust.
I hear you on that, but spelling out the terms of the loan is also just a good idea to AVOID resentment. I think you were very smart to do this.
Fucking Elle for (in addition to being a generally vapid asswagon)...
telling me that repeatedly calling me stupid "was a term of endearment."
There was a group that was collectively mean to you, and jumped on you, for no reason. I am sorry for not saying anything at the time. It was horrible.
Do not worry. It was a pretty cutthroat era on these boards. And I always knew, even then, that their behavior said more about them than it did me. You were always one of the nice and funny ones. Plus, I met some of my dearest friends here :-)
I am pretty sure I will always hate LBW. And I am so mad at myself when I have dreams where I end up comforting HER. WHY?
.
There is an interesting theory on dream analysis that YOU are every person in your dreams. You are every person, from every perspective, doing everything.
It truly blows my mind. And answers many questions about what I am wrestling in real life.
That is interesting. There are also a lot of similarities between the two of us which is both uncanny and highly annoying. Some dreams I am mad at her and lay into her and she just gives me her smirk which is makes me more angry and other times I am having this come to Jesus talk with her about examining why she does these things and to be better.
cleo29 - the subconscious is a mindfuck! I’d been wondering how you guys were doing?
We are doing OK, maybe better than we have in a long time in some areas. I just think this is about time. Time for me to really get over the hurt or at least move past it in some way. It has been a hard year with my MIL dying and no funeral or memorial service.
We are going to try and convince my FIL to come visit for a month or so around Christmas. the thought of him alone is really sad.
how are you doing? How are you fairing hurricane season? How is your H?
Post by sparkythelawyer on Sept 15, 2020 9:32:09 GMT -5
Oh. And every single high school chemistry teacher I ever had.
They were assbags who haaaaaates me and took pleasure in making things weirdly hard for me. Like, refusing to grade things and then telling my folks I had missing assignments. calling me an "undesirable" element in their classroom to my friend.
Post by icedcoffee on Sept 15, 2020 9:42:43 GMT -5
Oooh...my freshman year of HS I got a tutor for math because I just was not getting it. My mom and the tutor told me to tell the teacher I was working with a tutor so that if when I showed my work on a test and it was different he'd have an idea of why I am doing it differently.
Anyway--when I told him his response was "ohh---are you sick?" I think he thought it was funny, but I was already so anxious about telling him because I felt dumb and it just made me so sad and uncomfortable. I wanted to slink under a table and die. For some reason it has really stuck with me. I think about it all the time.
I still blame him for me not getting it. The year before I got the 8th grade math award. And after that year I went on to become a CPA so clearly I do understand math. He just wasn't good at helping me learn it. I was getting C's and D's in his class.
Post by yourmother on Sept 15, 2020 11:31:45 GMT -5
My MIL telling me she doesn't allow breastmilk in her daycare for bogus, bullshit reasons. When time came for my son to go into her daycare, he was no longer drinking breastmilk, so it was a moot point. HOWEVER, a year or two later I found a bottle of breastmilk in her fridge for another client. Bit my tongue, kept it to myself until she brought up how "awful" so and so's breastmilk smells. I had a super quick retort and asked, "I thought you don't allow breastmilk in your daycare?". She tripped all over herself trying to explain and excuse why she allowed it this time.
Turns out, the client is a BFF of her daughter (golden child). So OF COURSE, she would bend the rules for her....just not me/my DS.
This is a very small story in a novel of many where we (DH, me and DS) are blacksheep of the family.
Oh. And every single high school chemistry teacher I ever had.
They were assbags who haaaaaates me and took pleasure in making things weirdly hard for me. Like, refusing to grade things and then telling my folks I had missing assignments. calling me an "undesirable" element in their classroom to my friend.
Ugh.
I want to make a periodic table joke here, but I don’t want to make light of your assbag chemistry teachers.
Post by litebright on Sept 15, 2020 14:46:48 GMT -5
My aunt, whose life was heavily subsidized by my grandparents while they were alive, who sued their estate when they died -- so basically, sued her siblings, including my father as executor -- because she thought she didn't get enough of their money.
It guaranteed that the extended family I grew up with was destroyed, even more than my grandparents dying did. My parents eventually made nice with her, but I will never, ever forgive her.
Post by InBetweenDays on Sept 15, 2020 14:51:49 GMT -5
My brother/SIL for making sure their kids' birthdays took precedence over everything else when they were younger and would text/email us to make sure gifts were on there way if we were late in sending things. But now that their kids are all adults they doesn't treat our kids the same. DS (11) hasn't gotten a birthday present or even a card for 4-5 years and DD (14) hasn't for 2 years. I love them, but this drives me nuts (even though my kids don't even notice).
When I was in high school I took a shop class where we made this mail holder with little ducks. The girl who sat next to me swapped one of her ducks for mine when I wasn't looking because mine were better. I knew she did it but didn't call her out because I was scared of her. I still bring it up to others occasionally because my parents still have the mail holder I'm "friends" with her on Facebook and she's now a Trump supporter and science denier which isn't surprising.
When I was in high school I took a shop class where we made this mail holder with little ducks. The girl who sat next to me swapped one of her ducks for mine when I wasn't looking because mine were better. I knew she did it but didn't call her out because I was scared of her. I still bring it up to others occasionally because my parents still have the mail holder I'm "friends" with her on Facebook and she's now a Trump supporter and science denier which isn't surprising.
This reminds me of first grade when we made graham cracker "gingerbread" houses and all of our finished houses were in paper bags on a table waiting to be collected before we went home. I put a lot of effort into my house and was so proud of how it turned out. But this one little boy was screwing around and caused the bag with his house to fall on the floor and break, and he blamed it on me, so the teacher's solution was to give him my house to take home and made me take his broken house. I was devastated.
I definitely held a grudge against that kid for a long time, although I can't remember him anymore. The one good thing that came out of it was that I was like 6 and didn't care about germs, and he'd used about 3x as much frosting as I did, so it was delicious.
Post by sugarbear on Sept 15, 2020 16:59:40 GMT -5
My 9th Grade Honors English teacher who kicked me out of class. She told me I didn't know how to read or write and blacklisted me from all other honors / AP track ELA classes for the rest of high school.
Fuck her very much. I had a 4.0 in all my writing / literature classes in college and I am now an English teacher. I hate her, and I will not ever get over her for breaking my spirit like she did. I LOVED school.
One of my sister's friends from HS (kind of my friend, too) who told me that, because breastfeeding is the natural way to feed a baby, my breasts were "unnatural" because I wasn't able to produce enough milk for my micropreemie.
Post by darthnbjenni on Sept 15, 2020 19:45:57 GMT -5
@
The asshole doctor who performed my c-section with my son almost 9 years ago for 2 reasons: he asked my husband if I was sure I wanted a tubal ligation, and he laughed when I started screaming that I felt everything during my c-section because my epidural had worn off and I hadn't had a spinal. Eventually he realized I was feeling everything and knocked me the fuck out. I don't remember my son's entire first day, and still have PTSD issues with medical procedures.
Oh. And every single high school chemistry teacher I ever had.
They were assbags who haaaaaates me and took pleasure in making things weirdly hard for me. Like, refusing to grade things and then telling my folks I had missing assignments. calling me an "undesirable" element in their classroom to my friend.
Ugh.
I want to make a periodic table joke here, but I don’t want to make light of your assbag chemistry teachers.
I was at the dermatologist (who I normally love) for a skin check. I brought up a scar on my stomach from a past surgery and she said when I get down to my ideal weight they could fix it. Ugh I had just gotten down to the 120s after having 2 kids (gaining 60lbs both pregnancies) and was feeling pretty good about my weight. (I’m barley 5’7”). She didn’t mean anything by it but it stung.
I was at the dermatologist (who I normally love) for a skin check. I brought up a scar on my stomach from a past surgery and she said when I get down to my ideal weight they could fix it. Ugh I had just gotten down to the 120s after having 2 kids (gaining 60lbs both pregnancies) and was feeling pretty good about my weight. (I’m barley 5’7”). She didn’t mean anything by it but it stung.
Holy shit. I am 5'6" and in the 120s I would definitely be considered thin. what a jerky thing to say.
I was at the dermatologist (who I normally love) for a skin check. I brought up a scar on my stomach from a past surgery and she said when I get down to my ideal weight they could fix it. Ugh I had just gotten down to the 120s after having 2 kids (gaining 60lbs both pregnancies) and was feeling pretty good about my weight. (I’m barley 5’7”). She didn’t mean anything by it but it stung.
120's at 5'7" is thin by any measure. Had you mentioned a lower weight you were trying to achieve?
Post by gibbinator on Sept 16, 2020 10:41:55 GMT -5
The asshole in grade 10 who called me a nerd with no friends in the middle of class. The classmates who cheered. The subsitute teacher who did nothing.
Dh ate my easter bunny 2yrs ago. The whole thing. That he bought me.
Post by ohgillian on Sept 19, 2020 11:40:31 GMT -5
I saw a nutritionist for anorexia -- this was maybe 15 years ago -- and she literally gave me a piece of paper and said, "Well that lists things to do for weight loss. But you can do the opposite." I should have reported her to her licensing board. That was malpractice and so, so dangerous. Luckily I was healthy enough to know that it was bullshit and that I had to get rid of the sheet.
My 10th grade world history teacher. She wrote a D on my paper about a Greek god (jerk who was in her first year of teaching post college - she was probably 22 or 23). Thankfully I didn’t cry (close, though) - she gave it a bit before she told me it was an A and she just wanted to see if I’d cry. Screw you - I graduated top of my class.
My great aunt. I was maybe 7 and had a great big grin in my school picture that year. When the pic was taken, I’d lost a couple of front baby teeth and the permanent ones weren’t in yet - she made a comment about how I shouldn’t show my teeth as it wasn’t pretty. It was over a decade before I’d actually give a real smile if I knew someone was taking a picture.
My uncle for telling me when I was 4 or 5 that girls shouldn’t have short hair because they looked like boys then - right after my grandpa had taken my sis and I for haircuts and I now had short hair.
DH’s niece and her H. They gave every kid at Christmas last year except my 2 a Christmas present. I went out of my way to get them a gift I know they’d love and gifts for their daughters. I don’t care if DH or I get gifts, but I do care that you exclude my kids.
A former boss and my business unit leader at the time. I was up for a big promotion and found out right before Thanksgiving I didn’t get it because another guy on my team was up for it as well (it wasn’t an either/or), and they felt that I was ready for it but he wasn’t, but we’re worried he’d be angry/possibly leave if I got it and he didn’t, so neither of us got it. We both got promoted to that level the next summer, but I still hold a grudge about that.
Post by Leeham Rimes on Sept 19, 2020 22:01:50 GMT -5
I hold a grudge at:
the “friend” who volunteered to plan a fun 40 bday excursion for me and then backed out at the last minute when something better came along.
My sister for not putting a scintilla of effort into our relationship. I send texts every so often, I try for once a month or so. She very rarely responds yet I know she’s always glued to her phone. I still try bc it makes me sad that I really don’t have a sister relationship WITH MY ACTUAL SISTER.
My dad for ruining just about everything, all the time.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
I saw a nutritionist for anorexia -- this was maybe 15 years ago -- and she literally gave me a piece of paper and said, "Well that lists things to do for weight loss. But you can do the opposite." I should have reported her to her licensing board. That was malpractice and so, so dangerous. Luckily I was healthy enough to know that it was bullshit and that I had to get rid of the sheet.