Post by polarbearfans on Nov 2, 2022 12:14:12 GMT -5
I don’t give money to anyone. Maybe a kid standing by a pay phone who asks for change. The people on the street never. In my city it is highly organized. You’ll see a lot of the same people on the corners, and then slightly down the way you will see the “watcher” who is the person they turn the money over to. The people with the signs usually look rougher and rougher over time as their drug addiction slowly kills them. I am sure some are just copying the others they see, and maybe some are truly in need, but I have seen the drug set up for way too long and too often. I do donate to other organizations that provide help for those in need, but it is not safe to pull cash out in public like that and also I don’t want to contribute to this perpetual drug scam that is going on in my city.
Post by mcppalmbeach on Nov 2, 2022 12:25:30 GMT -5
I guess my answer is sometimes. I rarely have cash, but if I have smaller bills accessible I will. I do not like to be approached. When I had younger children I was approached on two separate occasions (once a man and once a woman) while I had my back turned loading a kid into the car. It startled/scared me and made me feel really unsafe.
Some of these comments about the homeless and addicted are honestly really gross and very disheartening.
I think a lot of people do not consider how close and how quickly all of us could be to this position.
ETA: And to add, don't give your money if you don't want to. But, my goodness, some of this is the whitest shit I've ever read on the internet.
Thank you. I don't have a lot of time today to engage on this but it makes me really sad and reminds me of how there is so much work to be done around education on the topics of homelessness and addiction.
We have a few “known” homeless people in the area who I will give cash to if I have some on hand.
Weirdly, people in my area are often pandhandling in areas where it’s not really feasible to stop safely or it’s really distracting (a busy intersection with complicated turn lanes so need constant awareness of people doing it wrong). I get that they are busy areas but it’s too complicated to navigate people darting through cars on top of everything else.
I do give food when asked and will throw in some cash if I have any.
I’ve never given food by request in our buy nothing group but I also don’t spend much time on FB so by the time I see any requests, the need has been met.
I rarely have cash but when I do I may hand it out, depending on traffic. I usually do always have snacks and I always offer that if someone asks
I do promotional sales and real estate so I usually have samples and bottled water and if I can get to it I’ve handed that out. Like an umbrella sample or blanket.
Post by steamboat185 on Nov 2, 2022 12:57:10 GMT -5
We don’t offer money when driving. I don’t have cash typically and we pass too many people.
I have given cash when walking and I have bought food for someone who asked. I don’t get asked super frequently, but every so often. I’ve also offered dog food to some people who have pets.
We do donate to the food pantries at our local high school and elementary school.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Nov 2, 2022 13:03:48 GMT -5
I think there is such a starkness in how people view those living without houses. Some of the same people who celebrate the folks like Tanqueray that HONY features would walk right on by them if they saw them on the street.
Every single person could find themselves in that same situation under certain circumstances and it’s incredibly hard to pull yourself out of poverty.
Whether or not you can afford or have the ability to give money to everyone you pass, it’s still so important to recognize their humanity. I don’t think anyone here is being intentionally dehumanizing, but some of the wording here is not great.
I never have cash on me so I don’t give it. If I do have some, I’ll give a couple $$.
I will often give food if I have it, or buy some. We also once gave a blanket and umbrella we had in the car to someone.
I was in a McDonald’s drive thru once and a man was standing there asking every car to buy him food. By the conversations and employee sticking their head out the window to look around I’m guessing every car in front of me was complaining. I told the guy I’d buy him a meal but he needed to leave the area with it because I figured someone had called the police. He cried when I handed him the meal. My kids were pretty young then and they still talk about it.
Oh man this is a tough topic for me. I used to give out $$ but I rarely carry it anymore. Homelessness and home-instability, addiction, and mental illness seem to be the factors most at play among the people asking for money in my area. No judgement there.
The latest and most heartbreaking iteration appears to be using very young children to sell candy - this was popular some time ago but seemed to fade out; now it’s back in our downtown area and I want to buy all the candy but I also don’t want to encourage this exploitive behavior. Honestly I don’t know what to do. I lean toward buying the candy because it’s not like those kids’ lives will be better if I refuse, but maybe they’ll get the money they need faster for that night if I do buy? I don’t know.
I think there is such a starkness in how people view those living without houses. Some of the same people who celebrate the folks like Tanqueray that HONY features would walk right on by them if they saw them on the street.
Every single person could find themselves in that same situation under certain circumstances and it’s incredibly hard to pull yourself out of poverty.
Whether or not you can afford or have the ability to give money to everyone you pass, it’s still so important to recognize their humanity. I don’t think anyone here is being intentionally dehumanizing, but some of the wording here is not great.
I think this is my main reason for asking. I can't always give, especially on street corners due to traffic, not having cash, whatever, but I still want to recognize that they are human beings. My city also has signs posted at lots of corners saying not to give cash, to give through organizations. I give through organizations, but I also know that doesn't immediately fill an empty belly. Recently I had a man ask me to buy him breakfast while we were in a local cafe. I did, but looking back I don't think I treated him as kindly as I should have, I gave the money to a server vs giving him the cash so he could pay for it himself and be treated with dignity. I'm kicking myself for it.
I also don't carry cash and donate to organizations that help those who are hungry or without a home.
When we lived in the city, we lived down the street from the city's biggest homeless shelter. We walked by those that were staying there every single day. We got to know some of them well enough to say hello and they knew my kids' names. We also had other people in need that had their regular hang out spots in our neighborhood that we also got to know. I never gave any of them money. Sometimes yes to food.
I will admit that engaging with someone who is on drugs or looking for money to buy more drugs makes me nervous. That doesn't mean I don't have empathy for them, think less of them, or treat them badly, its that sometimes desperate people do desperate things or things they wouldn't do sober.
1. No. Besides it being a safety issue, I don't usually have cash on hand to give. I avoid eye contact in these situations. (Maybe I'm a bit of a skeptic here based on stories I've heard from family in NYC. They've shared multiple stories of people who do this and then are seen eating in a nice restaurant or getting into a fairly new vehicle not too far away.) 2. We have only done this once - DH and I were together and it was evening (dark out) in a Kohl's parking lot. We felt our safety would have been threatened if we didn't give something, and happened to have $20 on us, so we gave the guy that and got out of there quickly. Needless to say, we've never been back to shop in that area again in the evening (and this happened probably 7 years ago at least). 3. If I had food on hand I would see if they wanted it. However, I would not take them somewhere in my car or to a restaurant due to safety concerns. I would let them know the shelters where I donate money who would be able to provide them with food and other assistance for immediate needs.
This is very no skittles for poor people.
Maybe its the first time they have eaten in a nice restaurant in 5 years and doing it to celebrate a birthday or getting a job or whatever.
Maybe the car was given to them and they also live in it.
I know there is a whole group of people out there who consider themselves affluent beggars, but if someone asks for something ( money, food, clothing) and you have it to give and willingly do so, who cares how they use it? It's a gift you gave that presumably has no strings attached.
When I have cash, I absolutely give what I can. I've also offered and given food. In the summer I've purchased and given cold bottles of water (along with some cash) to people with signs at intersections.
Once there was a man walking around the parking lot of a shopping center with an empty gas can asking for gas money so he could see his son for the first time in years. I gave him all the cash I had ($15) and felt bad that it wouldn't be enough to fill the tank. He said it would get him there and he'd worry about how to get back later.
Was it a scam that played on my emotions? Maybe.
Did it harm me in any way to part with cash I was planning to spend on booze? Not at all.
Post by rupertpenny on Nov 2, 2022 14:10:20 GMT -5
Am I the last person in the United States who regularly carries cash?
I don't regularly drive in areas where people ask for money on street corners, but I pass people on the sidewalk on a daily basis. I do not give to everyone who asks, but I give money, especially to moms with babies or people I see often enough to exchange greetings.
Post by Patsy Baloney on Nov 2, 2022 14:24:26 GMT -5
In light of all the, “Ewwww, poor people,” posts, I would just like to say:
You know you have a bad take when you’re having to spin stories to justify your actions. Keep that shit to yourself and slink off into the corner of shame.
You don’t need to flaunt that you fully believe in the “Welfare Queen” and other Reagan myths.
I don’t usually have cash or food in my car so I’ve never given at a traffic light. I hardly ever carry cash at all. However, I have filled up multiple gas tanks, and will continue to do that when approached. I would also help someone purchase food if I was at a restaurant. Basically, if I am able, I help.
1. No. Besides it being a safety issue, I don't usually have cash on hand to give. I avoid eye contact in these situations. (Maybe I'm a bit of a skeptic here based on stories I've heard from family in NYC. They've shared multiple stories of people who do this and then are seen eating in a nice restaurant or getting into a fairly new vehicle not too far away.) 2. We have only done this once - DH and I were together and it was evening (dark out) in a Kohl's parking lot. We felt our safety would have been threatened if we didn't give something, and happened to have $20 on us, so we gave the guy that and got out of there quickly. Needless to say, we've never been back to shop in that area again in the evening (and this happened probably 7 years ago at least). 3. If I had food on hand I would see if they wanted it. However, I would not take them somewhere in my car or to a restaurant due to safety concerns. I would let them know the shelters where I donate money who would be able to provide them with food and other assistance for immediate needs.
This is very no skittles for poor people.
Maybe its the first time they have eaten in a nice restaurant in 5 years and doing it to celebrate a birthday or getting a job or whatever.
Maybe the car was given to them and they also live in it.
I know there is a whole group of people out there who consider themselves affluent beggars, but if someone asks for something ( money, food, clothing) and you have it to give and willingly do so, who cares how they use it? It's a gift you gave that presumably has no strings attached.
Yes, this sounds like the welfare queen myth. Who is seeing these people doing these things? Why are they following them around? Surely they aren't regularly running into people in restaurants and recognizing them... That is too much coincidence to be true.
Also people who have money to buy cars sometimes later end up homeless and have to live in their car.
People who have a drug addiction can't just magically stop being addicted to drugs. Stopping could literally kill them so giving a person with an addiction a few dollars is more likely to help them stay alive than it is to inspire them to increase their drug consumption .
As I said upthread, I don't normally give out cash. Nobody is required to. But we all should stop perpetuating the stigma around homelessness. Speculation and anecdotes only hurt people.
I pass roughly a dozen people a day standing at corners or on my walk to work. I don't carry cash but if I have bottled water or energy bars I have given those out. I also regularly direct people to a shelter that is nearby when they ask where they can find help. (I work off a bus line not far from mental health services, the VA center and a major hospital, which contribute to people not being sure where help is to be found.) I've also called for medical (not police) assistance twice that I can think of.
Before I worked in my current position I was a reporter and one of my main topics of interest was homelessness. As part of that, I spent more than a year immersed in a homeless shelter in a city that had a high percentage of unhoused individuals after a mental health care center closed. I met some amazing individuals, learned how to play chess, discovered that many unhoused people are tremendously well read because they spend a lot of time in libraries, and dropped any illusions - any of us could be homeless much quicker than we think. Drugs and addiction MAY play a role but literally everyone has a story; if there was an easy answer to why people are unhoused it would be easier to fix.
All of these scenarios happen to me daily (well not driving because I don't have a car), often multiple times a day, so no I don't give to everyone. I do try to smile and look them in the eyes and say sorry I don't have anything at the moment instead of just completely ignoring. Every once in awhile if I do have food on me and they're asking for food I will offer that up.
This is what I do. I've even gotten comments from people saying that they appreciate it. A smile can go a long way.
I give cash to the local PADS program, but rarely to individuals (I almost never have cash). I will buy food If asked, but that has maybe happened twice ever (and I think I offered those times, I wasn’t asked).
Wait - do you live in Chicago? PADS Elgin was where I concentrated my reporting!
Post by underwaterrhymes on Nov 2, 2022 15:29:28 GMT -5
Once H and I were in downtown Chicago with the kids, and I noticed a man and his teenaged son wheeling a cooler and wheeled suitcases. They were stopping and talking to unhoused people and giving them snacks, waters, clothing, and toiletries.
I stopped and asked them if they were with an organization and the dad said, no, that he had just saw there was a need and when he retired, this is just what he does a few times a month.
He admitted it was a learning experience and that he had to learn to stop and engage in conversation and inquire what people really need or want rather than assuming and just giving stuff, but that he loves doing it and has brought his wife and son into it too when they’re available.
He said he had gotten to know so many amazing people who had just fallen on hard times for various reasons.
I would love to be able to do something on this scale some day.
I almost never have cash on me so no I don't give money to people on the street. If I have food I will. If someone asked me to buy them a meal I would. No one ever has though.
I do donate money to my local food banks and soup kitchens though.
I don’t give money from my car and don’t generally walk by anyone asking for food/money. I never cash, and the person who is generally by Sam’s (where I would have food) specifically only wants cash. (No judgment implied. He may have reliable sources for food, but not cash. That’s pretty common around here due to certain programs in our area.)
(Unsolicited Commercial follows) One of my favorite organizations to support is Street Angels Milwaukee (not local to me, but local to family). They are an awesome grassroots organization that is really focused on serving those without homes right where they are. They have two buses that they drive on specific routes on specific nights of the week (I think 3x) and hit as many popular areas where people are living. Those who are unhoused know if they need anything, they know where to find the Hope Dealers. They take a hot meal, a bagged lunch for the next day, and then they have a bus that has clothes, socks, hand warmers, tents, etc. to give as needed. They develop relationships with the people they serve, treat them with dignity, and work to get them housed. In Spring 2024, they will have an ADA Accessible mobile shower trailer. They run mostly on donations and volunteers, and I trust that they can do far more good with my money than I could do alone. They’re $10K away from their annual fundraising goal, in case anyone is looking for an awesome new org to support.
Once H and I were in downtown Chicago with the kids, and I noticed a man and his teenage son wheeling a cooler and wheeled suitcases. They were stopping and talking to unhoused people and giving them snacks, waters, clothing, and toiletries.
I stopped and asked them if they were with an organization and the dad said, no, that he had just saw there was a need and when he retired, this is just what he does a few times a month.
He admitted it was a learning experience and that he had to learn to stop and engage in conversation and inquire what people really need or want rather than assuming and just giving stuff, but that he loves doing it and has brought his wife and son into it too when they’re available.
He said he had gotten to know so many amazing people who had just fallen on hard times for various reasons.
I would love to be able to do something on this scale some day.
My BFF's brother does this in Portland, OR with his kids. They pull a wagon around. His career has been primarily with organizations that help the homeless so it has been an extension of what he already does.
I give cash to the local PADS program, but rarely to individuals (I almost never have cash). I will buy food If asked, but that has maybe happened twice ever (and I think I offered those times, I wasn’t asked).
Wait - do you live in Chicago? PADS Elgin was where I concentrated my reporting!
I live in a suburb about 20 minutes away from Elgin, and a church in my town is a PADS location once a month, so I donate to their program to purchase food.