When I have cash, I give it. I live in a city. It’s constant and I can do something so I do when I can. If I don’t have cash or food, I make sure to say politely “I don’t have anything today. Have a good day” or something. I never just walk by and ignore — most of us all a medical bill away from being unhoused.
Not going to touch the other stuff except to echo yeesh.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I’ve seen former/current patients who were struggling with addiction panhandling near the hospital where I work. I just can’t support their addiction. I also rarely have cash.
I give food anytime I realistically can. I’ve also given people gift cards. There was a woman who was at the intersection near the Target I go to on a regular basis, so I bought her a Target gift card; she did not seem thrilled about it, but oh well.
No, if I gave $5 for every corner I drive by in an average day, I'd be out $100. We have a LOT, and not many of them are mentally stable. I have bought and given food and dog food when I was at the grocery store for someone though.
A few years ago, I got sent several cases of prepper food. My credit card got hacked, the hacker had the meals sent to me and I spent hours on the phone trying to get the food returned to the company that sent it. After 2 months, I loaded it up in my car to give away at the intersections. It wasn't cash, so they didn't want it. I wound up donating all of it to the food bank for people who were living in places where there were no cooking facilities, I got no takers. There was about $3000 of food sent to me, so not a small amount and it was quite edible as I tried it myself.
What are people without kitchens going to do with a bunch of prepper food?
Cash is useful; people can buy what they need when they need it. A lot of what people try to give away isn't useful and people experiencing homelessness don't have the ability to hang on to stuff they won't be using soon.
Post by nextbigthing on Nov 4, 2022 3:21:21 GMT -5
I had a scary situation years ago that changed how I handle these situations
It was 105 degrees out and there was a guy standing at a corner in a busy area. I didn't have any cash but I had a big cold bottled water. It was so hot I decided to roll down my window and offer it to him. He rushed up to my window and got really close and began screaming and yelling at me for cash and that he didnt want a stupid water. I know he was mentally unstable but in that moment when i was stuck it was scary and made me feel very vulnerable (I drive around the city a lot for work)
Before that I used to always do what I could but now I stick to charitable donations and help that way.
emilyinchile , really? I've been assaulted and harassed by a man after they asked me for money and I politely declined, and it's happened twice. When I engaged, they followed me and grabbed at my arm/bag when there were other people around they could have picked. In both cases I was the only person who responded to them but was otherwise didn't stand out. Sure, I've also had sketchy people yell things at me when I didn't engage but they move onto the next person quickly and I've never been assaulted by someone I ignored.
Since the second incident I do not engage at all with men and save my money for nonprofits. Different cities have different situations, it may be hard to understand if you haven't been in it.
Wow, I’ve lived in major cities (Boston, NYC) for 23 years and visited countless others and have never had that happen to me despite always making eye contact and at least smiling and nodding at every unhoused person I come across. What metro area do you live in??
When I lived in Chicago I had a man I gave $5 to chase after me screaming "I'm going to kill you, you bitch!"
Post by sapphireblue on Nov 4, 2022 7:25:16 GMT -5
I live in a small town now so there aren't as many people asking for money here. I work in a public library so for some of our regulars that I know are homeless, I have given them stuff like food or a sleeping bag or a warm winter hat, etc.
I used to live in San Francisco and also in Boston. I can relate to the posters that have had an experience where they helped someone (in my case, a woman) who then followed me asking for more and it was very persistent and aggressive. So it DOES happen, to the doubters.
I also worked with the homeless population for several years in downtown Boston, and have many friends that still work in that sector.
I think there are a lot of people that don't use benefits from organizations, so to help them you really would need to reach them directly.
I always carry cash. I am inclined to give it to people, more than anything else. When I lived in SF, I would often buy food for people and they usually weren't that happy so now I give money so they can choose what to get.
The biggest thing that I think is important is to acknowledge people as human beings and as individuals. So whether I give them something or not, I always make eye contact, greet them, and smile and speak to them. My understanding is that one of the hardest things about living on the streets is that people pretend you are invisible.
Post by cheeseplease on Nov 4, 2022 7:39:15 GMT -5
Not really but a few months ago there was a guy sitting in the grocery store entrance with a sign and a dog. I felt bad so them so I bought a rotisserie chicken, bottle of water, some dog treats and put 10 bucks in a bag for him. I only bought a few things but by the time I got outside I couldn't find him. I even drove around the parking lot looking for them! Cue to the next night me feeling guilty eating the homeless guys chicken.
So, I am approached too often to give to everyone and I very infrequently have cash on me. I try always to be polite, and I give when I can.
It is obviously bullshit that people who are unhoused are a de facto threat. But I don't think it's totally insane to have some safety reservations about the involved stop, open purse, get wallet, take out money process. Not because the person to whom you are giving the money is harmful, but because you can't entirely disregard the personal safety dangers inherent to simply being a woman in the world. When I'm bustling through areas where I'm frequently asked for money or food, I'm mostly bustling just because I'm in a hurry (and running late, ha) but sometimes because I am uncomfortable (again, not due to the person asking). Having those emotions, choosing in some situations not to give because your situational awareness says this isn't the right moment, doesn't make a person evil.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Nov 4, 2022 9:10:04 GMT -5
No … I don’t give money or food directly. I’ll make grocery store gift card donations to a charity that feeds the homeless but not to the homeless directly.
A lot of my response is based on my xh and the times I have given food bags directly to the homeless only to have it thrown back at me. I see people w signs daily and I don’t give to any of them. Some I’m sure are legit but there have been times when they’re not.
Wow, I’ve lived in major cities (Boston, NYC) for 23 years and visited countless others and have never had that happen to me despite always making eye contact and at least smiling and nodding at every unhoused person I come across. What metro area do you live in??
When I lived in Chicago I had a man I gave $5 to chase after me screaming "I'm going to kill you, you bitch!"
It may not happen often, but it happens.
I hear you, and I'm sorry this happened to you and other posters. My point was more it is very very rarely putting yourself at risk to at least look someone in the eye, smile, and give a head nod of acknowledgement that they are a human being.
No, if I gave $5 for every corner I drive by in an average day, I'd be out $100. We have a LOT, and not many of them are mentally stable. I have bought and given food and dog food when I was at the grocery store for someone though.
A few years ago, I got sent several cases of prepper food. My credit card got hacked, the hacker had the meals sent to me and I spent hours on the phone trying to get the food returned to the company that sent it. After 2 months, I loaded it up in my car to give away at the intersections. It wasn't cash, so they didn't want it. I wound up donating all of it to the food bank for people who were living in places where there were no cooking facilities, I got no takers. There was about $3000 of food sent to me, so not a small amount and it was quite edible as I tried it myself.
What are people without kitchens going to do with a bunch of prepper food?
Cash is useful; people can buy what they need when they need it. A lot of what people try to give away isn't useful and people experiencing homelessness don't have the ability to hang on to stuff they won't be using soon.
You don’t need a kitchen, it is already prepped food……you eat it right out of the package. You buy it on the assumption that you will not have access to kitchen facilities in an emergency. It’s not bad, I tried it.
Each foil sealed package was a meal….and I had hundreds. Breakfasts, lunches and dinners.
I don't give a damn if the person to whom I give money is truly in need or just play acting. If a person "tricks" me, oh well. If a person wants money to buy whatever they want (food, substances, a new pair or shoes, a dog collar for their furry companion) instead of a PBJ I made in my kitchen, fine by me.
The humanity and the giving are the point. Think about your action like a tweet. You put it out there in the universe and then the universe does with it what it will. So be kind, actively try not to harm. The end.
What are people without kitchens going to do with a bunch of prepper food?
Cash is useful; people can buy what they need when they need it. A lot of what people try to give away isn't useful and people experiencing homelessness don't have the ability to hang on to stuff they won't be using soon.
You don’t need a kitchen, it is already prepped food……you eat it right out of the package. You buy it on the assumption that you will not have access to kitchen facilities in an emergency. It’s not bad, I tried it.
Each foil sealed package was a meal….and I had hundreds. Breakfasts, lunches and dinners.
I see. I still think it's a bit harsh to judge people for taking food of unknown quality if they weren't going to eat it soon. Giving it to the organization that you did is a much better fit. They know when and where people get food.
I rarely have cash and even when I do, I do not give cash.
I carry vouchers for a local mission that people can trade in for services like showers, laundry, locker rentals, etc. as the mission already provides meals. Most people where I live know of the mission and how to get to it. I've only had 1 person decline a voucher, not sure why.
If someone asks for food, I buy a meal if I feel the situation is safe (other people around, or if I'm with others) in the case of someone on the street. If someone needs food from a FB group or whatever else, yes, I contribute.
My house also overlooks a creek with a bridge over it where at least once each winter someone seeks shelter. My husband and I put together care packages with things like shelf-stable foods that don't require cooking, toiletries, clothing, etc. and he will go down there to give them the care package. He asks them if they need help getting to the missions downtown (we live only a short bus ride away from them), in terms of directions or a bus card, which we also provide. Our goal isn't to kick them out of the public space, but our winters are harsh and dangerous here and we want them to be safe.
I also encourage everyone to make eye contact with the person you're helping and, if they are a regular on your route, ask their name. They want to be seen, known, and acknowledged as a fellow human being.
My decisions are informed by my family members who have been homeless.
A person in that situation is clearly struggling. Something happened that landed them there. The overwhelming majority of people would not *choose* to be asking for money on a highway exit. You're not working towards a comfy retirement in a condo in Florida standing on the corner begging for money in heat, humidity, rain, and snow. There's no way I could begin to ASSume their entire circumstances that brought them to that point. Divorce (which statistically has the potential to financially devastate women), job loss, jail time (it can be *extremely* difficult to find a job after serving time, even for non-violent offenses) chronic illness/health bills, untreated mental illness, drugs, alcohol, or yeah, maybe they're just a con man looking for a quick buck. Like, singular dollars, one at a time.
But I'm sure all the people here who are clutching pearls at those who use the money for drinking to escape their reality, or to buy a pack of cigarettes, have never given in to any sort of unhealthy vice to help them cope with a shitty situation, so I'll see myself out shortly.
So yes, sometimes I give money if I have it. I'll offer food and drink if have it. It impacts my life literally ZERO to give someone a granola bar, or $5. But it could make a tangible difference to them, so I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
A person in that situation is clearly struggling. Something happened that landed them there. The overwhelming majority of people would not *choose* to be asking for money on a highway exit. You're not working towards a comfy retirement in a condo in Florida standing on the corner begging for money in heat, humidity, rain, and snow. There's no way I could begin to ASSume their entire circumstances that brought them to that point. Divorce (which statistically has the potential to financially devastate women), job loss, jail time (it can be *extremely* difficult to find a job after serving time, even for non-violent offenses) chronic illness/health bills, untreated mental illness, drugs, alcohol, or yeah, maybe they're just a con man looking for a quick buck. Like, singular dollars, one at a time.
But I'm sure all the people here who are clutching pearls at those who use the money for drinking to escape their reality, or to buy a pack of cigarettes, have never given in to any sort of unhealthy vice to help them cope with a shitty situation, so I'll see myself out shortly.
So yes, sometimes I give money if I have it. I'll offer food and drink if have it. It impacts my life literally ZERO to give someone a granola bar, or $5. But it could make a tangible difference to them, so I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Seriously. 53% of white women gave Donald Trump the benefit of the doubt and voted for him even though he's a known rapist, racist, anti-semite, conman, and overall shitty human. But god forbid you give the person standing on the corner a couple of dollars. In our everyday transactions we give way more money to people and corporations who misuse the funds but we only clutch our pearls when it comes to people experiencing homelessness? 'kay
This is a tough emotional / moral dilemma for me, and I feel immense guilt about it sometimes. I’ve had a couple close relative who chose to live on the streets when they had housing options, although there was mental health and addiction issues at play. I’ve had in depth discussions with them about their experiences.
I generally don’t give cash to pan handlers waiting next to the road by stoplights. I prefer to donate to organizations that work with the homeless, but I also know that doesn’t reach everyone. We don’t have a lot of extra money in our budget so it’s hard to justify a lot when we have bills to pay but at the same time I might have just bought coffee and have a trunk full of groceries, so we have way more than a lot of people and my family members have been in their shoes. That’s where the guilt comes in. More often walking, I’ve stopped and talked to people to ask what they need, if I can help, buy them something, if they need help getting connected to resources, etc. My state has a can deposit so people are often looking for cans and I’ve given bags of cans to people I see. There’s safe park lots in my area and I’ve volunteered to provide and serve dinners there. Anytime anyone asks for help with food, I try to donate and our neighborhood really comes together to try to help (a lot of military and single parents families I know of struggle to provide food until the next pay day).
You don’t need a kitchen, it is already prepped food……you eat it right out of the package. You buy it on the assumption that you will not have access to kitchen facilities in an emergency. It’s not bad, I tried it.
Each foil sealed package was a meal….and I had hundreds. Breakfasts, lunches and dinners.
I see. I still think it's a bit harsh to judge people for taking food of unknown quality if they weren't going to eat it soon. Giving it to the organization that you did is a much better fit. They know when and where people get food.
These were hermetically sealed foil packages that I was pulling out of a box from the front seat, I would never give unsealed food in this situation. I did have exactly one guy who helped himself of packages, choosing exactly what he liked, the rest wanted cash and were not interested in receiving food.
This being said, we give a HUGE chunk of cash to the local homeless shelter and the food bank. 10% of our income goes to LOCAL charitable donations we have thoroughly vetted. Not only that, we have purchased cases of diapers, wipes, formula, paid a vet bill, bought a car, bought new tires, paid for tanks of gas and have taken innumerable people grocery for individuals who have asked for help. We have paid hotel bills for those waiting on housing. So assuming someone doesn’t give cash to panhandlers at intersections makes assumptions that are not quite correct. The 10% to charity is that which was written off taxes, the rest is done outside, so I’m not about to guess what we give to try to help the homeless, and those who need help by falling through the cracks.
Usually I don’t like to mention this because this is stuff we prefer to do under the table without acknowledgment. However, getting called out because I don’t donate how others think I should isn’t fair.
I never have cash on me but I do buy food when asked. I work in an area that has a very high homeless population because other cities literally bus them in. There used to be a large temporary shelter next to my office and would get asked all the time. Yeah sure there are some scammers, but the majority of panhandling is not a scam. People are legitimately in need and it frustrates me when coworkers act like the homeless are not people or refer to them as "those people."
There is a new scam in my area where teens run around intersections with signs about a funeral asking for donations. It's been 3 years and they're still collecting for the same funeral next week.
The funeral thing is very common where I live (I think you’re in SoCal too?). It’s always the same two or three groups that I see.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
I no longer give cash, but previously did frequently. I have had some negative and dangerous interactions in parking lots that have made me evaluate my own safety in situations with strangers. I've had to call the police or get attention of others in the area for help. I don't care what they use the money for and agree that no one is choosing this as a way to get rich. I will not judge anyone for asking for help or even denying food because I know people who are very nervous about food poisoning or tainted food being given to them.
Unfortunately this is one of those situations where the few bad apples ruin the bunch. People become skeptics or because of previous altercations nervous and scared.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus