Until recently I struggled to pay my own bills so I couldn't help much and generally politely declined if asked. Now that I'm more financially stable, I help through a local organization, they know far better than I do what is needed in my community. I generally don't engage with people I don't know in public regardless of perceived housing status. I find making eye contact and engaging with any stranger really hard, but I am polite if approached and do my best to be kind. I'm a work in progress when interacting with people. I don't think anyone has ever asked me for food. I live in a high poverty city so I can't help everyone, but I do what I can, even though it's not much.
The housing situation in my city is extremely bad, addiction is an epidemic here. Several families I know with stable incomes and no history of financial or legal issues have lived in campers or long stay motels because they had nowhere to go. People are being kicked out of their long term year round rentals. It's infinitely harder for those with a history of legal or financial difficulties, they end up in shelters or on the street. Any one could lose their home in the wrong circumstances.
Investors are scooping up our affordable year round rental housing, doing quick flips and airbnbing them. A lot of the houses were probably in need of rehab, but in the process families are losing their homes and ending up without a place to live.
I never have cash on me but I do buy food when asked. I work in an area that has a very high homeless population because other cities literally bus them in. There used to be a large temporary shelter next to my office and would get asked all the time. Yeah sure there are some scammers, but the majority of panhandling is not a scam. People are legitimately in need and it frustrates me when coworkers act like the homeless are not people or refer to them as "those people."
There is a new scam in my area where teens run around intersections with signs about a funeral asking for donations. It's been 3 years and they're still collecting for the same funeral next week.
The funeral thing is very common where I live (I think you’re in SoCal too?). It’s always the same two or three groups that I see.
yeah, central OC. I dont remember seeing them before Covid. But now I see it all the time.
A person in that situation is clearly struggling. Something happened that landed them there. The overwhelming majority of people would not *choose* to be asking for money on a highway exit. You're not working towards a comfy retirement in a condo in Florida standing on the corner begging for money in heat, humidity, rain, and snow. There's no way I could begin to ASSume their entire circumstances that brought them to that point. Divorce (which statistically has the potential to financially devastate women), job loss, jail time (it can be *extremely* difficult to find a job after serving time, even for non-violent offenses) chronic illness/health bills, untreated mental illness, drugs, alcohol, or yeah, maybe they're just a con man looking for a quick buck. Like, singular dollars, one at a time.
But I'm sure all the people here who are clutching pearls at those who use the money for drinking to escape their reality, or to buy a pack of cigarettes, have never given in to any sort of unhealthy vice to help them cope with a shitty situation, so I'll see myself out shortly.
So yes, sometimes I give money if I have it. I'll offer food and drink if have it. It impacts my life literally ZERO to give someone a granola bar, or $5. But it could make a tangible difference to them, so I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
I am not intending at all to argue or start any conflict. I only quoted you because it was the most recent thing I read.
I don't see a lot of people clutching pearls at people using money for cigarettes and/or drinking? A few people are saying how weird or offensive the thread is but I feel like there aren't a bunch of posters acting aghast at anything.
What am I missing? Not meaning to direct that at you, DotandBuzz!
It's the continued posting regarding never giving cash and then listing how prepared they are to handle helping those experiencing homeless at every encounter. I know this will come off as shitty of me, but I don't really believe it. And others saying, if I did I'd have to part with hundreds every day!- as if giving is a slippery slope.
Again, as several have stated, if you don't give cash, you're not weird, bad, mean, shitty, etc. If you came to post anecdotes that support the idea that those people are dangerous, that's weirdo behavior to me. And who am I? Nobody. Doesn't matter.
It's the continued posting regarding never giving cash and then listing how prepared they are to handle helping those experiencing homeless at every encounter. I know this will come off as shitty of me, but I don't really believe it. And others saying, if I did I'd have to part with hundreds every day!- as if giving is a slippery slope.
Again, as several have stated, if you don't give cash, you're not weird, bad, mean, shitty, etc. If you came to post anecdotes that support the idea that those people are dangerous, that's weirdo behavior to me. And who am I? Nobody. Doesn't matter.
I'll continue the "bitchiness" nobody wants your damn leftovers from your fancy meal either. Don't give someone your food scraps and be upset they're not grateful enough.
It's all so reminiscent of the lawmakers who decide every so often that people on SNAP or other assistance programs aren't needy enough because they have electricity, indoor plumbing or refigerators.
It's the continued posting regarding never giving cash and then listing how prepared they are to handle helping those experiencing homeless at every encounter. I know this will come off as shitty of me, but I don't really believe it. And others saying, if I did I'd have to part with hundreds every day!- as if giving is a slippery slope.
Again, as several have stated, if you don't give cash, you're not weird, bad, mean, shitty, etc. If you came to post anecdotes that support the idea that those people are dangerous, that's weirdo behavior to me. And who am I? Nobody. Doesn't matter.
Eek, my post wasn’t meant to be thought of as a slippery slope as to why I don’t give to people everyday. I was just answering honestly, but you’re right I could certainly give cash some days and not others and to some people and not others. I guess I just don’t take the mental capacity to decide who I should give to since it happens multiple times per day so just generally stick to my response of looking directly at people and trying to be friendly and saying "no I’m sorry I don’t have anything."
It's the continued posting regarding never giving cash and then listing how prepared they are to handle helping those experiencing homeless at every encounter. I know this will come off as shitty of me, but I don't really believe it. And others saying, if I did I'd have to part with hundreds every day!- as if giving is a slippery slope.
Again, as several have stated, if you don't give cash, you're not weird, bad, mean, shitty, etc. If you came to post anecdotes that support the idea that those people are dangerous, that's weirdo behavior to me. And who am I? Nobody. Doesn't matter.
Eek, my post wasn’t meant to be thought of as a slippery slope as to why I don’t give to people everyday. I was just answering honestly, but you’re right I could certainly give cash some days and not others and to some people and not others. I guess I just don’t take the mental capacity to decide who I should give to since it happens multiple times per day so just generally stick to my response of looking directly at people and trying to be friendly and saying "no I’m sorry I don’t have anything."
OMG absolutely was not you! In fact, I nearly posted earlier that everyone saying no should just have taken your post and copied it.
Post by wanderingback on Nov 4, 2022 18:28:41 GMT -5
Yeah many of these responses are shitty, which I see has been covered. People should really evaluate their privilege. Even if someone is offered a physical shelter there are often multi factorial reasons why that might not work out well for them and the systems in place in this country often fail people. Can’t put a small bandaid on a large gaping wound and expect it to heal.
Post by starburst604 on Nov 4, 2022 19:22:15 GMT -5
Oof this thread. Food isn’t the only need for people who are suffering from homelessness.
I’m not in the city very much anymore and I don’t often have cash, but if I am and I do have cash and the situation feels safe enough (usually while stopped in traffic), I give some cash. I don’t give a crap what that person needs it for, if they are asking they need it and it’s not going to break me to hand it over.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
I don’t work in Boston anymore so I don’t encounter so many of these situations. I do coordinate with a lady in town here who deals with the homeless population in our city, but all I do is give her money and sometimes supplies (clothing or household items if she has managed to house someone) sometimes I provide food for the weekly dinners or serve at them.
Basically I do barely anything but this lady is amazing, she’s like a super woman and has given so much or herself to help these folks, it’s commendable but I feel I’m too busy / selfish to be that way at least at this point in my life.
I’m not against giving money per se and I have done so, but I hardly ever have cash. I would buy someone food if they asked though. I’ve never felt unsafe about a money request situation but it usually occurs in daylight.
I think it’s a bit weird to give a stranger your leftovers though and expect them to be thrilled about it. I wouldn’t want someone’s random leftovers so why should they I guess.
We get it at this point, no one ever has cash on them apparently. Every post starts with, if I have cash or I hardly ever have cash, etc.
Also, all of the super specific scenarios of that one time you gave to someone...it's..something.
Just recognize the humanity in everyone, it's that simple. We're all struggling in some way, some people's struggles are just laid more bare than others.
We get it at this point, no one ever has cash on them apparently. Every post starts with, if I have cash or I hardly ever have cash, etc.
Also, all of the super specific scenarios of that one time you gave to someone...it's..something.
Just recognize the humanity in everyone, it's that simple. We're all struggling in some way, some people's struggles are just laid more bare than others.
If only there were machines on practically every corner or there was a way to get $20 when you go to the grocery store. Grocery store customer service will also give you $1 bills if you ask nicely. Getting cash requires a lot less effort than other things people are doing.
Regarding the cash, I am someone who never has any. I use my credit card 99% of the time, and there is no option to take out cash with credit card check out. So, no, it’s not wild for people not to have cash.
I generally don’t have a need for cash, so I have to make a genuine effort to go to an ATM to get cash out.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
We get it at this point, no one ever has cash on them apparently. Every post starts with, if I have cash or I hardly ever have cash, etc.
Also, all of the super specific scenarios of that one time you gave to someone...it's..something.
Just recognize the humanity in everyone, it's that simple. We're all struggling in some way, some people's struggles are just laid more bare than others.
Who isn't doing this?
Who in this post isn't recognizing the humanity in everyone?
Who is talking about one scenario?
Why are people being so weird and judgy about this post? I still don't get it.
I'll continue the "bitchiness" nobody wants your damn leftovers from your fancy meal either. Don't give someone your food scraps and be upset they're not grateful enough.
It's all so reminiscent of the lawmakers who decide every so often that people on SNAP or other assistance programs aren't needy enough because they have electricity, indoor plumbing or refigerators.
How do you know this?
When I worked the night shift at Pine Street (a large homeless shelter in Boston) I would often bring in my leftovers from my dinner. There were plenty of residents at Pine Street that were happy to eat yummy leftovers from a good restaurant.
Have homeless people told you that they don't want leftovers from a fancy meal? That has not been my direct experience.
I also used to buy a woman who was homeless in London breakfast every morning and she was very appreciative. We had a friendship of sorts.
This really is a weird thread, OP, not you at all! I don’t even know how to put it into words.
I don’t have cash 99% of the time I don’t think the unhoused need to be excited about hermetically sealed meals I do give leftovers if I have them I believe that people may have bags ready to hand out in their cars I don’t care if I’m being scammed I understand the safety concern of pulling out your wallet, either on the street or in your car
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
I'll continue the "bitchiness" nobody wants your damn leftovers from your fancy meal either. Don't give someone your food scraps and be upset they're not grateful enough.
It's all so reminiscent of the lawmakers who decide every so often that people on SNAP or other assistance programs aren't needy enough because they have electricity, indoor plumbing or refigerators.
How do you know this?
When I worked the night shift at Pine Street (a large homeless shelter in Boston) I would often bring in my leftovers from my dinner. There were plenty of residents at Pine Street that were happy to eat yummy leftovers from a good restaurant.
Have homeless people told you that they don't want leftovers from a fancy meal? That has not been my direct experience.
I also used to buy a woman who was homeless in London breakfast every morning and she was very appreciative. We had a friendship of sorts.
Yes, you are right, everyone wants your cold, half eaten picked over food. I stand corrected.
When I worked the night shift at Pine Street (a large homeless shelter in Boston) I would often bring in my leftovers from my dinner. There were plenty of residents at Pine Street that were happy to eat yummy leftovers from a good restaurant.
Have homeless people told you that they don't want leftovers from a fancy meal? That has not been my direct experience.
I also used to buy a woman who was homeless in London breakfast every morning and she was very appreciative. We had a friendship of sorts.
Yes, you are right, everyone wants your cold, half eaten picked over food. I stand corrected.
Oh stop it! You’re the one speaking in sweeping generalizations.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
When I worked the night shift at Pine Street (a large homeless shelter in Boston) I would often bring in my leftovers from my dinner. There were plenty of residents at Pine Street that were happy to eat yummy leftovers from a good restaurant.
Have homeless people told you that they don't want leftovers from a fancy meal? That has not been my direct experience.
I also used to buy a woman who was homeless in London breakfast every morning and she was very appreciative. We had a friendship of sorts.
Yes, you are right, everyone wants your cold, half eaten picked over food. I stand corrected.
That is not what I said, and it wasn't cold.
Why are you and other posters being so odd in this thread?
Damn. Some people are coming in here loaded for bear.
Attacking straw Karens isn’t the flex you think it is - calm the fuck down. No one is in here bashing people except the folks lashing out at those they think are “less compassionate.” Goddamn.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus