Giving Money/Food to those that ask

[followyourarrow]

Do you give money to people holding signs on street corners in traffic?  Does it make a difference if they approach your car?

Do you give money to someone asking that is on the sidewalk, more of a pedestrian situation?  Does it make a difference if they approach you?

Do you give food if someone asks for food?  It could be someone asking you to buy them breakfast in a diner or even someone in a local FB group.

I've had all of these situations occur in the last few weeks and I'm evaluating my own responses.

[eb777888]

First one, I do. I didn't used to, but H always did/does and he changed my perspective on it many years ago.

Second one, I have. I don't always, depends on the situation.

Third one, I probably would, yes. I've never been asked.

[sarahsays]

I don't really ever carry cash so I don't have money to give. I have in the past when I had cash on me.

Yes, I would buy food if I was in an establishment and someone asked me. Even if it was like walking into Dunkin and someone was outside asking, I would buy them food.

[Jalapeñomel]

If I have cash, I usually do. I often buy some food if I’m at the grocery store.

[wanderingback]

All of these scenarios happen to me daily (well not driving because I don't have a car), often multiple times a day, so no I don't give to everyone. I do try to smile and look them in the eyes and say sorry I don't have anything at the moment instead of just completely ignoring. Every once in awhile if I do have food on me and they're asking for food I will offer that up. 

[krystee]

I give cash to the local PADS program, but rarely to individuals (I almost never have cash). I will buy food If asked, but that has maybe happened twice ever (and I think I offered those times, I wasn’t asked).

[wildrice]

I have always said yes to people asking for food. This hasn't happened since I lived in the city but happened often when I was walking places in the city. Usually it was just a basic fast food meal or a couple of things from a convenience store.

I often don't have cash or don't have the right bills to hand over a couple of dollars, so I don't usually give cash to anyone. I also am usually approached multiple times a day when I am in the city (usually 1-3 days a week) so it is not possible to give to everyone. I think if it was just an occasional ask or I happened to have cash I would, though. I have in the less recent past when this was a less common occurrence.

ETA: I am currently raising money for health care for people experiencing homelessness- PM me if you want the link to donate!

[glw]

If I am in a car and they are on the street/sidewalk, I will give either cash or food, whichever I have with me. I'm much less likely to engage if we're both on foot because I've been followed, yelled at, etc. where I felt like I couldn't get away. The exception to that is if I'm carrying leftovers from a restaurant and I see someone on the street, I will offer it to them.

ETA: I'm approached nearly every day in my area.

[cjcouple]

I don't give money, I never carry cash. I've honestly never been approached for food but I would buy someone a meal if I could a the time

[cjcouple]

My husband does a lot of good will toward others. His kindness acts are more like cover someone's purchase at a store (he used to work at local grocery store so would see this often with elderly and young people), he gives rides to coworkers, he has covered motel room for a coworker before who was locked out at midnight after he gave him a ride home, he grabs random gift cards at the coffee shop to handout. Just last Saturday, he was shopping and at self checkout and an employee (teen) was asking all her coworkers for $.50 to buy a drink because she said she forgot her wallet so was short. My husband said, go ahead and scan it here, I'll cover you, it was $2 drink so truly nothing.

Thinking about it, I truly don't really see anyone out asking for money or food except at the holidays in the shopping plazas. I should keep some money and some shelf stable food packets in the car for the next few months. Thanks for bringing this up

[underwaterrhymes]

I always give cash if I have it and if I don’t and I’m able to buy food or other necessities (e.g. hygiene products), I do that instead.

I have a big soft spot for unhoused people and anyone can find themselves in that situation at any time.

[scm1011]

Nov 2, 2022 9:47:21 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

All of these scenarios happen to me daily (well not driving because I don't have a car), often multiple times a day, so no I don't give to everyone. I do try to smile and look them in the eyes and say sorry I don't have anything at the moment instead of just completely ignoring. Every once in awhile if I do have food on me and they're asking for food I will offer that up. 

This, exactly. It would be untenable to give to the multiple people I see a day with signs. I always make sure to acknowledge them, though. 

[VillainV]

I generally don’t have cash on me, but if I do I will sometimes give $$. I always give $$$ if there are kids involved.

[kittie3131]

I don't usually have cash on me but if I do have money and the person is out in bad weather I will. Or if the person is old or with children I will.

[chchchia]

If I have cash to give, I do. If I have food I ask if they want it and if they do, I give it. I saw a homeless woman outside my neighborhood wawa and I asked her if there was anything I could do for her and she said she was cold and hungry. I had just spent my last 10 so I went home and grabbed food for her and a blanket. I gave her pop top soup can and a bowl with some napkins and utensils, bread and a jar of peanut butter.

[fernweh]

I don’t give cash because I don’t generally have any on me. I have never been asked for food but if I was I would give what I had or buy something.
I feel terrible because there are so many people in my area lately. A couple busy intersections will have someone on all 4 corners at any given time.

[bee20]

I pass by people multiple times a day with signs and don't give anything to them. I don't engage with men due to some repeated harassment but I'll say hello to women and there are a few who have been in the neighborhood for years at this point. If someone asked me for a meal in a denny's I'd likely buy them one, but that hasn't happened.

In our area there are a lot of conflicting opinions around non-profits versus direct aid, but I would prefer a world where we have functioning organizations to help versus folks needing to market themselves through gofundme/signs/etc so that is where I direct my donation dollars.

[emilyinchile]

If I have cash I tend to give it to parents with children. I know some people don't like that situation because the kids are being used to get more sympathy, but these are usually Venezuelan immigrants who most likely don't have anywhere else for their children to safely be during the day and who really don't have enough for basic needs (vs people concocting some scam to keep the kids out of school to raise money for their fancy cable package or whatever the worry is). If you walked across a fucking continent and literally faced death to try to give your babies a better life here, take all the money I have in my wallet, and I wish it were more.

[Patsy Baloney]

I will if I’m able (have cash, have the time to order/pay for something, etc.)

If I can give money to corporations for owners to buy another yacht, I can certainly give it to an individual who is down on their luck and has basic need to be fulfilled.

[nicolewi]

1. Definitely no. I feel like this is a safety issue, both personal-safety wise and also in terms of traffic/cars for both drivers and the people asking for money.
2. Sometimes
3. I probably would, but have only been asked once (guy asked for my restaurant leftovers and I gave them to him)

I live in a more rural area so none of this is common here, but I used to work in the city. We do have people who have started to occasionally set up shop on the corner by Target near me. I don't like it; I feel like it's scammy when I see the guy taking sign holders and things out of his car, and I really don't like it where there are kids, b/c I do feel they are being used in this particular circumstance.

I used to work for a large non-profit, so I do strongly feel a much better use of funds is to support proven, non-profit organizations in your community that are designed to help people in a more coordinated and efficient way. You can check out an organization's record easily through something like Charity Navigator.

I also usually don't have cash anyway.

[definitelyO]

it depends. I've given $ sometimes when asked on the street or at the intersections with someone with a sign. Much less now.... but not often.
and sometimes will buy food. last year DS and I volunteered to feed the homeless in downtown and after stopped at a 7-11 and there was a guy panhandling so we asked what he wanted and went in and bought him soda and some snacks that he asked for.

I've purchased groceries for families in front of our grocery store as well.

basically depends on what I have on me and my mood that day.

[midwestmama]

1. No. Besides it being a safety issue, I don't usually have cash on hand to give. I avoid eye contact in these situations. (Maybe I'm a bit of a skeptic here based on stories I've heard from family in NYC. They've shared multiple stories of people who do this and then are seen eating in a nice restaurant or getting into a fairly new vehicle not too far away.)
2. We have only done this once - DH and I were together and it was evening (dark out) in a Kohl's parking lot. We felt our safety would have been threatened if we didn't give something, and happened to have $20 on us, so we gave the guy that and got out of there quickly. Needless to say, we've never been back to shop in that area again in the evening (and this happened probably 7 years ago at least).
3. If I had food on hand I would see if they wanted it. However, I would not take them somewhere in my car or to a restaurant due to safety concerns. I would let them know the shelters where I donate money who would be able to provide them with food and other assistance for immediate needs.

[Roc A Bee]

I never give money. I’ve never been asked for food- only money.

[achi]

I almost never carry cash on me so most of that would be a no. And even if I did, it's a safety factor for me, especially if I have my kids in the car. However, I have a friend who works closely with some of the homeless population in our community so if I know of someone through her I would be more inclined to give them cash in that circumstance.

I've seen people in my local FB moms group reach out if they are really struggling and the group has some together to buy groceries or things like that. But it's usually coordinated through one of the group admins.

I have been known to buy a box of granola bars if I see someone asking for money outside the grocery store or dollar store.

[sproctopus]

Always, if I have it. I try to keep a few dollars in the car. I also talk to my kid about it when we do so that he knows it's important to help when we can because we have more than enough to do so (and we are incredibly far from wealthy).

[Pilsy]

The street corner one is a no for me now. I've given a couple bucks here and there in the past, but I rarely have cash these days, and I also get really nervous about people walking in and out of traffic. I've also had people just stand at the window and stare at me when I've said no, so while I would like to say I always make eye contact and apologize, that's no longer true. If my girls are with me, I always explain to them that our family gives a lot to organizations that help lots of people in need, and while I would love to give to each individual person, it's not always possible.

In person, on the rare occasion I'm in a city and encounter someone, I will give cash if I have it (which is rare), but it's more common that I'll offer to buy food. If I'm in a hurry and not near a store or fast food place, it's not practical to offer, but I will make a point of treating the person kindly and apologizing.

I don't think I have ever been asked to buy food in the contexts you describe. I have bought been approached outside a grocery store and bought a bag of things for someone, and another time, I offered for someone to add his couple items to my order. I don't know what I'd do in the FB group situation. I sometimes see people ask for things publicly, not via private message, on Nextdoor and don't typically engage there.

[sugarbear1]

If I am in a position to buy food or drink, I always do. I rarely give cash from my car -- I don't usually have cash.

[Captain Catnip]

Yes to all (assuming I have cash.) I've also offered food when I don't have cash if we are in an area with a lot of restaurants etc. Most say no to that, though.

If I'm at the store and someone needs help covering their purchase i pay (within reason.... I generally can't afford to just buy an entire extra $100+ grocery order, but especially at xmas i try to add that to my budget. It happens more often then for me)

[sahara78]

No to all 3. We have a rather aggressive homeless population, so I never engage.

Edit: I have paid a small balance of the person in front of me at the grocery store. And leftovers to a homeless teen in New Orleans (he asked). I do give money to organizations that support the homeless.

[mich1]

No, if I gave $5 for every corner I drive by in an average day, I'd be out $100. We have a LOT, and not many of them are mentally stable. I have bought and given food and dog food when I was at the grocery store for someone though.

A few years ago, I got sent several cases of prepper food. My credit card got hacked, the hacker had the meals sent to me and I spent hours on the phone trying to get the food returned to the company that sent it. After 2 months, I loaded it up in my car to give away at the intersections. It wasn't cash, so they didn't want it. I wound up donating all of it to the food bank for people who were living in places where there were no cooking facilities, I got no takers. There was about $3000 of food sent to me, so not a small amount and it was quite edible as I tried it myself.