I am not shocked by this stupidity. My neighbor left their newborn at their house alone one night so they could go party 3 houses down.
Before covid my BFF/her H's next door neighbor friends would do that with their two kids under 3 to hang out at BFF/her H's house with them after bedtime with monitor in tow. H and I were nope forever to that. We took turns going to BFF/her H's house after our kid was asleep or we got a babysitter so we could go together.
My husband and I were away between Christmas and NYE and stayed at a nice hotel in Austin. We were in the bar of the hotel, which was very crowded as there was a group there for a memorial for a fallen firefighter. These two little girls came running through the bar and towards the lobby in their pajamas, and my husband and I were both like this is odd. A few of the firemen noticed and went to see where they were. The two girls came running back in and were running around saying "mommy" and I was like nope, and I got up and stopped them and got down on their level and asked if they were looking for their mommy, they said yes, I asked their ages, they said 3 and 5, and I asked how they got there. They very literally said the elevator, because duh. So as I was talking to them all these firemen and their wives were listening and the younger girl told me their mom said she was going to the bar to 'have wine and relax'. At that point some of the firemen went to get the hotel staff, and as I was asking their names their mom showed up. She was FURIOUS. At them. She pointed at them and said 'what the fu...', caught herself, grabbed them, and stormed off towards the elevators. I was flabbergasted. If my kids were missing from a hotel room and I found them in a bar with like 100 strangers I would be crying, not angry.
I am not shocked by this stupidity. My neighbor left their newborn at their house alone one night so they could go party 3 houses down.
Before covid my BFF/her H's next door neighbor friends would do that with their two kids under 3 to hang out at BFF/her H's house with them after bedtime with monitor in tow. H and I were nope forever to that. We took turns going to BFF/her H's house after our kid was asleep or we got a babysitter so we could go together.
I don’t hang out with any of my neighbors so I wasn’t there but when one of them told me I was more shocked that none of the other neighbors thought what a terrible idea it was.
I mean, my kids are 11 and we are just getting comfortable with letting them be home alone for short periods of time. A newborn!? No fucking way.
If you were considering reading The School for Good Mothers, this is sort of the premise. She leaves her (very young) kid home alone and then gets sent to this program to learn how to be a good mother. It's very dystopian, but the initial crime is legitimately problematic and it seems like the main character wants you to think it's not a big deal. So, if you think this is a big deal, maybe not the book for you.
Post by suburbanzookeeper on Jan 4, 2023 0:24:11 GMT -5
We have a family member who works for one of the WDC hotels in management and the number of times they find/hear young children alone in resort hotel rooms - in similar age groups - is mind blowing.
I’m stuck on the fact multiple adults knew these kids were alone. Her parents and friends were meeting them? So at least 5 adults should be charged.
Edit- looks like they met friends. I still stand by the statement they need to be charged with accessory after the fact at the very least.
I wonder if the friends they met knew? If I met someone with an infant out at dinner and the infant wasn’t there, I would assume the baby was with a sitter. The only way I’d know differently is if the couple volunteered that info.
It didn’t seem clear to me that the people she was dining with included the same friend that she asked to check on the children after the husband collapsed. To me it sounded like she called her parents and another friend who wasn’t with her to check on the children but who knows?
NOT that it makes it ok, at all, but I wonder if the kids were asleep when they left and they assumed they’d stay asleep? That is the only possible way I can see a rational person doing this. Clearly these people had means and options, so it’s not at all an excuse.
Yes it says in the article the mom said she monitored them while they slept.
I wonder how many times this couple did this prior to this incident? As others are saying, it seems to happen more than we think. I just can't comprehend thinking it's ok to do in the first place.
I am going to make a giant assumption here that the people who do this kind of stuff have babies/toddlers that go to bed promptly at 7 pm and STTN through 7 am. They also have 5 month olds who are not mobile and 2 year olds that don't try to escape their cribs.
In my parenting journey, it has always felt like parents lucky to have children like this feel really bold to do stuff that parents like myself who birthed crib climbers and non-STTNers couldn't even fathom doing. And then they like to act like they have won at parenting.
My former coworker proudly explained once that they left their baby at home while they met family for late cockatils and then went Black Friday shopping for "a few hours" but it was okay, because she always slept through the night and they had a camera in her room.
We tried explaining to her that this was a terrible idea, but she thought we were all overreacting. It was so baffling because while I cant stand the woman, she is brilliant. And this was a baby that she was super protective of, she took time off work because she was worried about the baby (baby had fallen out of the crib, baby had a cough, etc. and she didn't feel it was safe to leave her with a nanny in those conditions), but somehow she had this huge lapse in judgment thinking leaving her child at home alone for several hours didn't worry her at all.
That is WILD. My kid is 27 months old and has woken up overnight maybe 5 times total since he was 8 weeks old. It’s been over a year since he woke up at all, and much longer since we’ve had to go in to tend to him in the night. And I pay a babysitter $20+ an hour to sit with the monitor and watch TV when we go out occasionally after his bedtime. He’s never once woken up but I don’t just leave him there alone! Omg.
This is more shocking to me than the original post.
My twins are almost 11 now, but holy hell they were horrible sleepers. Nothing worked. They slept through the night maybe 5 times total before the age of 6. I aged 30 years during the first 5 years of their life.
I’m stuck on the fact multiple adults knew these kids were alone. Her parents and friends were meeting them? So at least 5 adults should be charged.
Edit- looks like they met friends. I still stand by the statement they need to be charged with accessory after the fact at the very least.
I wonder if the friends they met knew? If I met someone with an infant out at dinner and the infant wasn’t there, I would assume the baby was with a sitter. The only way I’d know differently is if the couple volunteered that info.
It didn’t seem clear to me that the people she was dining with included the same friend that she asked to check on the children after the husband collapsed. To me it sounded like she called her parents and another friend who wasn’t with her to check on the children but who knows?
Ah this makes sense. I just assumed. It is very possible they did think the kids had a sitter
This thread is giving me so much anxiety! I literally have nightmares where I leave the house for something and then realize I left DD home alone. I can't imagine being OK with this, even with a 3yo who STTN!
I hate to be so blunt, but they are lucky it was the dad that died and not one of the children. How completely negligent. Makes me wonder how often people do shit like this and just don't get caught.
I think it is probably more often than you'd think at large resorts and such.
The restaurant wasn’t in the hotel, it was 15 min walking away!
These people are absolute morons, and the mom is extraordinarily lucky that something terrible didn’t happen to one or both of her children the same night she lost her husband.
And sooo not the point, I know, but clarification re the below: The Yale Club has guest rooms, so they were staying there (news story says “left in their room at the club.”) Not sure that makes a difference in the scheme of things, unless they somehow very delusionally thought since it’s a private club it’s somehow safer? Nope, still essentially a hotel, where your small children could have seriously injured themselves or worse in about ten thousand ways left alone in the room.
If you're going to Yale club I'm going to guess you're not saying in a roach motel. Surely the hotel could have arranged a sitter service.
I'm astounded at these ages.
The article I read said the kids were at a totally different place, 15 min walking time away. Just pure insanity. They weren’t even in the same building!
“left their two young daughters alone in their room at a members-only Midtown club to go out with friends to a nearby steakhouse”
That is WILD. My kid is 27 months old and has woken up overnight maybe 5 times total since he was 8 weeks old. It’s been over a year since he woke up at all, and much longer since we’ve had to go in to tend to him in the night. And I pay a babysitter $20+ an hour to sit with the monitor and watch TV when we go out occasionally after his bedtime. He’s never once woken up but I don’t just leave him there alone! Omg.
This is more shocking to me than the original post.
My twins are almost 11 now, but holy hell they were horrible sleepers. Nothing worked. They slept through the night maybe 5 times total before the age of 6. I aged 30 years during the first 5 years of their life.
We got WAY lucky on the sleep stuff. So sorry you had a rough time! And even though he legitimately never wakes up I’d still never leave him alone overnight.
Post by lolalolalola on Jan 4, 2023 10:57:10 GMT -5
This is neglect, especially since they weren’t even in the building!
We left our older kids in a hotel room when we went out for a nightcap at the hotel bar and they locked the door and we couldn’t get in the room. We had to call security to jet us in. They were 8&10 and we learned our lesson!
These people are absolute morons, and the mom is extraordinarily lucky that something terrible didn’t happen to one or both of her children the same night she lost her husband.
And sooo not the point, I know, but clarification re the below: The Yale Club has guest rooms, so they were staying there (news story says “left in their room at the club.”) Not sure that makes a difference in the scheme of things, unless they somehow very delusionally thought since it’s a private club it’s somehow safer? Nope, still essentially a hotel, where your small children could have seriously injured themselves or worse in about ten thousand ways left alone in the room.
The article I read said the kids were at a totally different place, 15 min walking time away. Just pure insanity. They weren’t even in the same building!
“left their two young daughters alone in their room at a members-only Midtown club to go out with friends to a nearby steakhouse”
The article I read said the kids were at a totally different place, 15 min walking time away. Just pure insanity. They weren’t even in the same building!
“left their two young daughters alone in their room at a members-only Midtown club to go out with friends to a nearby steakhouse”
What these parents did was unfathomable, but it wasn't a 15 minute walk away. The Yale Club and Bobby Vans are one block away from each other.
I’m guessing whatever I initially read was referencing a different Bobby Vans location. Regardless, it wasn’t a hotel restaurant in the same building (still awful), which seemed to be everyone’s initial impression.
When I first read this yesterday I thought the Yale Club was a hotel and he collapsed at the hotel and she left them there. It's bad either way but the fact they left them to go to a restaurant? Really terrible!
That is WILD. My kid is 27 months old and has woken up overnight maybe 5 times total since he was 8 weeks old. It’s been over a year since he woke up at all, and much longer since we’ve had to go in to tend to him in the night. And I pay a babysitter $20+ an hour to sit with the monitor and watch TV when we go out occasionally after his bedtime. He’s never once woken up but I don’t just leave him there alone! Omg.
This is more shocking to me than the original post.
My twins are almost 11 now, but holy hell they were horrible sleepers. Nothing worked. They slept through the night maybe 5 times total before the age of 6. I aged 30 years during the first 5 years of their life.
Wait there’s hope? My 7 year old still gets up a few times a week. 😭
Like fryjack2 , I have kids that pretty much never wake up at night. I did leave my kids asleep briefly in the middle of the night when I went into labor with my fourth kid and left a note for my oldest (age 7 at the time) in case someone woke up before my parents arrived. I have quick labors and my third kid was born on the floor, so that's why we needed to go ASAP. It was also at the height of the early pandemic days (May 2020) so even less possible than normal to call an Uber or friend to drive me to the hospital in the middle of the night. Luckily no one woke up before my parents got there. Can't imagine doing that for a non-emergency situation though.
I'm super surprised she didn't just go back to the hotel room when this happened vs. going to the hospital in the ambulance. But I guess if this couple left their tiny kids to go have dinner in the first place, she wasn't the smartest person...
I'm surprised at the shock. I feel like there is always a story of people leaving their way too young kids. Not giving them a pass, but luckily the kids are OK.
Did none of you ever step out for 5 minutes to get the mail or anything when the kids were young? Obviously this story is much different than that since they were alone for 3 hours. Just curious.
Wow, this is making me so anxious. I have a 2.5 y/o and a 4 months old. I would be so anxious all night long. The chance of them waking up is high since it's a new and unfamiliar place. Even if you stupidly think they are going to be safe in a locked room, what if one of them wakes up and cries because mom and dad are gone? WTH? How come none of these scenario made them realize it was a bad idea. And I am glad the hotel didn't allow the friend. They had no way to check if this person was safe for the kids. I hope this is a big wake up call for her. Sounds like she had plenty of adults around to help.
We have a family member who works for one of the WDC hotels in management and the number of times they find/hear young children alone in resort hotel rooms - in similar age groups - is mind blowing.
I will say I never realized it was such a resort/ hotel problem. Do these kind of people leave their kids more at hotels/ resorts than in "real life" at their own house?
Did none of you ever step out for 5 minutes to get the mail or anything when the kids were young? Obviously this story is much different than that since they were alone for 3 hours. Just curious.
We used to do evening outdoor patio get togethers with our next door neighbors, alternating backyards and with our baby monitors. Urban neighborhood so houses are like 10 feet apart and backyards are postage stamp sized. I never gave it a second thought, but from some of the answers here others would be a bit pearl-clutchy.
Recently I ran (literally) less than a quarter mile down the road to catch DH - he was walking DD to school and forgot her backpack. I left my 6 year old DS at home. I was gone less than 5 minutes for sure, probably more like 3 minutes.
Did none of you ever step out for 5 minutes to get the mail or anything when the kids were young? Obviously this story is much different than that since they were alone for 3 hours. Just curious.
Hmmm get the mail < 100 yards away that takes < 2 minutes or out to a steak dinner in a different building a block away? I mean...how is this even a "cast the first stone" kind of question?
We have a family member who works for one of the WDC hotels in management and the number of times they find/hear young children alone in resort hotel rooms - in similar age groups - is mind blowing.
I will say I never realized it was such a resort/ hotel problem. Do these kind of people leave their kids more at hotels/ resorts than in "real life" at their own house?
When we were on a cruise in November 2019 there were a lot of young kids wandering around the boat without any adult.
My kid was 7 at the time and several kids looked to be pretty close to her age, which DH and I just couldn't wrap our heads around.