I'm surprised at the shock. I feel like there is always a story of people leaving their way too young kids. Not giving them a pass, but luckily the kids are OK.
Did none of you ever step out for 5 minutes to get the mail or anything when the kids were young? Obviously this story is much different than that since they were alone for 3 hours. Just curious.
When ds was a baby, dh was in the navy and deployed, and we lived in a townhouse complex with a dog with no yard. I would take ds in the stroller or carrier to walk the dog daily, but I used to leave ds alone to let the dog out on the leash in the 'common yard' area multiple times a day (usually just right out the door, but sometimes I would need to walk her around a bit to potty, and I'd have to walk to the dumpster to throw away the poop, which was about 10 ft away). I did not feel comfortable leaving him alone to walk to the mailbox complex which was multiple parking lots away. I had a radius that I felt comfortable going, and it was not far. Sometimes if there were people parking in our space, I'd have to park far away, and then I'd leave him in his car seat while I walked back and forth carrying in groceries, or I'd leave him while I went out to dig out my car after it snowed, etc. And later, after dd was born, there were a few times when we lived somewhere else and dh was also deployed and I had to do things like shovel the driveway or cut the grass while both kids were sleeping or contained in some way. These situations were always stressful to me and I avoided them if at all possible. One time I even called another SAHM friend who ended up coming to stay with both kids and her kids to play while I cut the grass (we had someone who was supposed to cut it for us but they didn't show for a few weeks and it was really bad and was going to take a while).
I had a neighbor (who also happened to be a police officer!) that liked to have big BBQ parties in his yard. They lived two houses away from us, and we all had ~1/4 acre lots. He suggested that we could put DS to sleep at our house then come back to the party with the monitor. I wasn't comfortable with this and was surprised he suggested it. It definitely wasn't on the level of what these people did, but still a little too far away for me.
We have a family member who works for one of the WDC hotels in management and the number of times they find/hear young children alone in resort hotel rooms - in similar age groups - is mind blowing.
I will say I never realized it was such a resort/ hotel problem. Do these kind of people leave their kids more at hotels/ resorts than in "real life" at their own house?
An acquaintance was telling me about working at Disney in her 20s and said she was delivering room service one day and got shot twice by a BB gun. The second one hit her in the temple right next to her eye. Some people had taken their 7 and 9yo (or 6 and 8?) kids shopping at Bass Pro or somewhere, bought them BB guns, and left them in the room for several hours to go out to dinner. She said they were forced to leave and were permanently banned from Disney resorts and parks. I thought that was pretty next level.
My personal bar is if an electrical fire started, how fast could my kid figure it out and could they stay calm enough to escape. It does them no good to be able to call me if I'm 5-10 minutes away if they are panicking and forget that they can use a different door to exit if one is blocked. Or if they are in a hotel and the air conditioning unit next to the door catches on fire, will they be too scared to go to the door and open it and get out. I know it's a small chance, but that's my bar.
Not to make this about race but one time I sent my kid with some money into trader joe's with my mom a few steps behind her while I reparked and some lady came up to my daughter and asked if she had money to buy food. So no, I will not be letting my child out alone in the public anywhere until she is well into her teens.
This is true and something I didn't consider, clearly white privilege.
Not to make this about race but one time I sent my kid with some money into trader joe's with my mom a few steps behind her while I reparked and some lady came up to my daughter and asked if she had money to buy food. So no, I will not be letting my child out alone in the public anywhere until she is well into her teens.
This is true and something I didn't consider, clearly white privilege.
I'm curious to hear from other WOC if they are worried about racist encounters when sending their kids out alone. It's not always just about physical safety. (Sorry for the thread hijack)
My parents live right next door to my sister, and when we would visit when the kids were littler sometimes my sister and BIL would come over after the kids were asleep. They had video monitors and could see if the kids were awake/moving around and get back over there with seconds if something came up. I actually thought that was really nice that they could do that, and I don't see any harm to be had. The houses are close together and they'd probably not have to go more than an additional 100 feet or so to get to the kids than if they were inside their own house. I liked it because it would finally allow us to be able to have adult conversations without kids interrupting...
Of course, now that the kids are out of the baby monitor stage, they don't do that anymore!
My deep thought: at least they didn't deliberately drive the kids off a cliff like that guy in a Tesla. So there are worse parents...
That story has completely shaken me up!! He's an Indian radiologist from Pasadena! What was so wrong in his life that he tried to murder his wife and two little kids? Insanity
I keep thinking about how disorienting it is when something weird happens to you away from home as an adult, much less a toddler and an infant.
I was at a hotel alone thousands of miles from home and had forgotten my eyeglasses. This is very unlike me and I am extremely nearsighted. I had gone to bed very late and taken out my contacts. Around 3 am the fire alarm went off and it was so disorienting! I scarcely knew what to do. Do I stop and put in my contacts? Do I grab them and blindly head for the stairs? Do I leave without them? Would I be able to safely leave the building without my contacts in? I was in my 30s! Luckily it turned out to be nothing but it was so stressful trying to figure out what was the right thing to do in a freak situation. I can’t image being a little kid and even hearing weird noises being left there alone in a strange place.
Not to mention that no one would even think to look for the baby and the toddler in an emergency most likely until the parent(s) returned.
sequins, this story made me think of the well-publicized case of the woman of color working at McDonalds probably 10 years ago who let her 9-year-old play in a nearby park while she worked, rather than having her sit there in the restaurant. She was charged with child endangerment. At the time, that brought up a lot of discussion about the racial and socioeconomic backdrop around leaving kids unattended. I think potential charges of neglect are more likely to be leveled at non-white/non-rich people, who often have fewer options for childcare. Many people in that demographic are just trying to work or go to school, unlike the people this conversation started with.
My deep thought: at least they didn't deliberately drive the kids off a cliff like that guy in a Tesla. So there are worse parents...
That story has completely shaken me up!! He's an Indian radiologist from Pasadena! What was so wrong in his life that he tried to murder his wife and two little kids? Insanity
I was thinking about this story and my guess is that she probably wants to divorce him and issues like child support and custody made him loose his mind.
This is true and something I didn't consider, clearly white privilege.
I'm curious to hear from other WOC if they are worried about racist encounters when sending their kids out alone. It's not always just about physical safety. (Sorry for the thread hijack)
Honestly this hasn't crossed my mind with my 9 year old DD. We chose to live and work in diverse areas, racially and socioeconomically. I grew up in this same area and have witnessed that racial perceptions appear to have changed in a positive direction over the decades. If my kids do encounter anything, I would like to think that I am equipped to help them handle it.
That story has completely shaken me up!! He's an Indian radiologist from Pasadena! What was so wrong in his life that he tried to murder his wife and two little kids? Insanity
I was thinking about this story and my guess is that she probably wants to divorce him and issues like child support and custody made him loose his mind.
When news of the accident first came out, I thought it was going to be due to self-driving malfunction. If that is definitely not the case, then I think your theory is a good one.
I keep thinking about how disorienting it is when something weird happens to you away from home as an adult, much less a toddler and an infant.
I was at a hotel alone thousands of miles from home and had forgotten my eyeglasses. This is very unlike me and I am extremely nearsighted. I had gone to bed very late and taken out my contacts. Around 3 am the fire alarm went off and it was so disorienting! I scarcely knew what to do. Do I stop and put in my contacts? Do I grab them and blindly head for the stairs? Do I leave without them? Would I be able to safely leave the building without my contacts in? I was in my 30s! Luckily it turned out to be nothing but it was so stressful trying to figure out what was the right thing to do in a freak situation. I can’t image being a little kid and even hearing weird noises being left there alone in a strange place.
Not to mention that no one would even think to look for the baby and the toddler in an emergency most likely until the parent(s) returned.
lol. I was awoken to a 7.0 earthquake without contacts absolutely dead to the world. Nekkid. My thought process was to grab the dog and go into the living room because there was no 2nd floor above. H's thought was to run into the kitchen where cabinets were flying open.
We had a perfectly good, large safe closet below the stairs.
I'm from Florida is my excuse. His dad's high school was literally split in half by a quake.
Disorientation is scary and could happen to anyone. Especially little kids in a new place.
I have no children, but I can conceive being breezy about being next door. Where I tend to live next door is possibly closer than some people inside their mcmansions. But I cannot fathom a lengthy meal away. At those ages especially!
I'm sure she'll be wracked forever with guilt, but I don't think she should have those kids back any time soon. And I don't say that lightly having lost a parent while quite young. I really hope there is someone they know and are comfortable with because this is just the beginning of their loss(es).
This is true and something I didn't consider, clearly white privilege.
I'm curious to hear from other WOC if they are worried about racist encounters when sending their kids out alone. It's not always just about physical safety. (Sorry for the thread hijack)
If I lived in the suburbs with mostly white people, yes. Where I currently live, no.
Post by wanderingback on Feb 8, 2023 21:33:42 GMT -5
Wow.
I was going to bump this post about a week ago because friends were visiting and the husband mentioned this story that someone told them about.
He then went on to say that they used to put FaceTime on in their baby’s crib and then go downstairs for a drink in their hotel while traveling. They said they did it a handful of times. I just nodded lol. (They’re child is older now).
So yeah, I assume a lot more people are doing this than we realize with a variety of distances apart from their child.
Eta: these are parents who are physicians, one who works with kids, so have seen all the awful things that can happen to kids and adults. So yeah, made me realize, lots of people are doing this.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
So, he looked ill, but no one noticed he was choking? Then collapsed outside? This is bizarre!
I feel like either the server's story was partially invented/paid OR the "looking ill" was just that he was generally sloshed, and maybe he started choking and was not actually communicating this or thinking clearly bec he was drunk... so mayne he was going to run to the bathroom bec he thought he was going to be sick and then opted to, idk, try to get some air...? Absolutely bonkers.
So, he looked ill, but no one noticed he was choking? Then collapsed outside? This is bizarre!
I feel like either the server's story was partially invented/paid OR the "looking ill" was just that he was generally sloshed, and maybe he started choking and was not actually communicating this or thinking clearly bec he was drunk... so mayne he was going to run to the bathroom bec he thought he was going to be sick and then opted to, idk, try to get some air...? Absolutely bonkers.
It was easier to understand a coke induced heart attack.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
So, he looked ill, but no one noticed he was choking? Then collapsed outside? This is bizarre!
My friend (who is a doctor) was at a restaurant a year or 2 ago sitting in the back near the bathrooms. She said their table noticed a guy stumbling to the bathroom and looking ill. At first they just thought he was drunk but somehow they figured out he was choking (he wasn’t doing the choking sign.) They then started the Heimlich maneuver and then he collapsed and lost pulse so they did cpr and he recovered.
So, he looked ill, but no one noticed he was choking? Then collapsed outside? This is bizarre!
My friend (who is a doctor) was at a restaurant a year or 2 ago sitting in the back near the bathrooms. She said their table noticed a guy stumbling to the bathroom and looking ill. At first they just thought he was drunk but somehow they figured out he was choking (he wasn’t doing the choking sign.) They then started the Heimlich maneuver and then he collapsed and lost pulse so they did cpr and he recovered.
Well, Jesus! He went all the way and tried to die!
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
I took a first aid course once where the instructor also worked as a paramedic. He said there were lots of cases where people are in a public space and die from choking because they get embarrassed and don't think it's that bad so they run to the washroom and lock the door.
maybe they were all drunk. If I recall a waiter noticed and ran outside after him.
Eta waiter noticed something was wrong, not necessarily choking.
Says a waiter noticed he looked ill, and followed him outside where he then collapsed. Choking is generally pretty dramatic, and noticeable.
As someone who has had the heimlich performed on her in public, believe me, most everyone around me knew I was choking and not getting any air. It was a surprisingly loud experience.
Granted, we were in a traditional restaurant, busy, but no loud music or anything.
Says a waiter noticed he looked ill, and followed him outside where he then collapsed. Choking is generally pretty dramatic, and noticeable.
As someone who has had the heimlich performed on her in public, believe me, most everyone around me knew I was choking and not getting any air. It was a surprisingly loud experience.
Granted, we were in a traditional restaurant, busy, but no loud music or anything.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
I took a first aid course once where the instructor also worked as a paramedic. He said there were lots of cases where people are in a public space and die from choking because they get embarrassed and don't think it's that bad so they run to the washroom and lock the door.
I was going to post this, too. Sometimes choking is like in the movies, but sometimes it isn’t. I was present during a choking episode once, and it was quiet & people around didn’t know anything was happening until the person slumped over and someone else yelled for help. Alcohol can also inhibit reflexes, so it is possible that he didn’t respond as a sober person would have because his body didn’t react like it would have when sober. Add to that not wanting to be embarrassed by causing a scene.
It’s a sad situation because if someone could have identified it was choking, they would have done choking protocol instead of heart attack, and it could have been the difference between life and death.
I also agree that we would be surprised at how many people leave their kids alone in hotel rooms. Of course no one will admit it here, but with the tech we have today, I’m sure it happens more often than we’d believe.