Have you ever had a bad medical experience? (TW)

[circa1978]

Not like, I didn't like my doctor but Rose Nylund going to the dentist bad or lawsuit bad.


Brought to you by a conversation I had with my 75 year old aunt today. She hadn't been to the GYN in years but went today and when I asked her why it had been so long, she said a bad experience she had with her old GYN. Based on the timing, I realized he had been mine too and I asked what happened.

TW: Sexual content






She said he made sexual comments to her during her exam. Well, as it happens, and I've never told anyone this, the same guy said something really sexual to me when I was underage and being examined. I didn't question it and felt shame about it for years. Today she told me when she told her new doctor about what happened, that doctor (a woman and also my wonderful doctor now - that's how my aunt got referred) said that doctor was known for having sexual harassment complaints against him - and still practices. My aunt never said anything to me and I never said anything to her and 25 years have passed now, so it probably doesn't matter but it made me wonder how many other people might have stories like this. I've had so many amazing doctors over the years and I've felt so much shame about what happened with that one and why did I never speak up?

[MixedBerryJam]

I’m pretty sure my long time family dentist grabbed my breast when I was barely, and possibly pre- pubescent (and didn’t actually have breasts yet). I never said anything until maybe 10 years ago and he never tried anything else after that but he did fall on very hard times in his later years and died of an overdose su well into his 70’s. Honestly I thought it was my imagination at the time, until I heard that and then the adult me realized I didn’t actually know him or his world. I definitely wasn’t *traumatized* but I was uncomfortable enough not to forget it.

[Deleted]

That is so awful circa1978. Where my mind goes is how many other people also didn't seek care because of him and what happened and if anyone had serious health issues as a result of missing care. I hate that that guy is still practicing.

My only bad story is really just about terrible bedside manner. I had herniated a disc and was in unbelievable pain. The doctor I saw because it's where my insurance made it most affordable to go in network fat shamed me and basically told me that if I was a healthier weight, I wouldn't have herniated the disc. I sobbed as she shamed me for several minutes. And then for weeks I would call, begging to be scheduled for an MRI and injections and she wouldn't do anything. I ended up being transferred out to my amazing surgeon that ended up resolving my issues and never once made me feel bad about my weight.

[maudefindlay]

I'm so sorry circa1978. You likely didn't tell because women/girls who did would be gaslit "Oh not Dr So and So, you must have misunderstood".

I had a dental hygienist majorly misuse dental instruments and injured my healthy gums. She told me I had gum issues and that she shouldn't be able to get her tool "in there". No you shouldn't, you are forcing it and hurting me and telling me things likely out of your scope of practice.

[sugarbear1]

TW - traumatic birth and traumatic pregnancy






















DS1 was an emergency c-section. As I was on the OR table, my epidural was wearing off so they decided to give me a spinal. The resident gave it to me, turned to his attending, and said, "oh shit, I gave her too much." Very quickly, my chest became numb and I could not feel myself breathing. I started screaming, but again very quickly, my vocal cords were numb. I wasn't making any noise and exH and I were both in an absolute panic. They kicked him out, gave me Versed (makes you forget but only very acutely), said they were going to intubate, and five minutes later I had a baby on my chest, and was fully conscious.

DS2's pregnancy was awful; I had a subchorionic hematoma so I bled -- A LOT -- from weeks 8 to 20. They never knew if I was miscarrying, but every time I went in, I had an ultrasound and the baby was fine. The SECOND time I went in, we knew what the issue was and explained to the attending in L&D. I did not require a pelvic exam but he insisted. ExH did not stop him (and I don't blame him for it, at all) and I was too distraught to put up more than a firm "that's not what I need right now, please don't do that." He did it anyway, and while he was prepping for it, turned to then H and said, "it's ok. My wife miscarried and she got over it pretty quickly. You can get pregnant again."

[circa1978]

sugarbear1,I am so sorry that happened and you reminded me to put a TW on my post.

[tacokick]

I have had more than my share of strange and bad doctor experiences as a child and an adult. I always reported them and my mom did when I was a child. My family has always been big on speaking up and trusting your gut! Luckily it was never straight up assault but more than once it came out later that the doctor had been doing worse things to other patients. I think they test people by doing little things to see what they can get away with sometimes.

The most recent one wasn’t too horrible compared to some of the others but last year when I was having flashing lights in my right eye, the doctor kept yelling at me that I was wrong and didn’t know my right from my left. He also said this to my husband who was there because I couldn’t see to attend the appointment myself.

We just left and went to other doctors who confirmed it was my right eye. I complained to the hospital but they didn’t do anything and it still says left eye on my chart there! He also implied that he didn’t believe I wasn’t diabetic? I guess eye flashing can be a symptom but my labs were perfect. It was all so strange. I mean, he told my husband he should help me learn right from left and asked if I knew how to drive.

My husband had a bad experience with a dentist as a child but he was very loud and insisted they bring back his mother who complained and they left and later that dentist was arrested for child abuse.


I totally understand why people don’t say anything though! It’s such bizarre experience and they don’t make it easy.

[rubytue]

Mine are just procedures that should be sedated done unsedated. To the point Ice refused to sign consent forms until there was an Ativan in front of me.

[nsl]

This is nowhere near the scope of some of your experiences, but when H and I had trouble conceiving Kid 1 I had an HSG done to rule out tube blockage. I was the last case of the day and was barely starting my period so there was some blood in addition to the fluid that leaks after the procedure. The doctor running the procedure didn't count his tools after finishing up with me and sent me home with several disposable pieces of the equipment still inside me. I didn't realize until I used the bathroom the next day and a little blue nozzle fell out. I went immediately to the ER (of a different hospital) and they found an additional piece next to my cervix.

When I reported what happened to the clinic the next day they were very nonchalant about it, and at my follow-up/WTF happened appointment the doctor tried to downplay it as NBD. It was a very big deal to me. We discontinued care at that clinic immediately.

[waverly]

Not to that extent. I believe the OBGYN treated me for HPV that I didn’t have because he lost his license for doing additional unneeded procedures and it never showed up on another test by other doctors. This was before MY Chart and No test results were released to me. I know it can be dormant but if it’s bad enough to treat you would think it would show up on another test. The paps were annual back then. And everything before and after that I saw him showed nothing.

I had a doctor prescribe me antibiotics that I am allergic to.

[mags]

Twin birth

One vaginal
one emergency c-section (all hell broke out) boy twin was in nicu for 6 weeks. I have a cath in for weeks.

Getting to hospital was another disaster had a fire engine escort.

[cattledogkisses]

I mentioned this in another thread recently, but last year I had a phlebotomist cause a nerve injury while trying to draw my blood (confirmed by my PCP and a neurologist). Thankfully it wasn't permanent but it took about 8 months to heal to the point that I could feel my fingers again, and was quite painful in the interim.

[mofongo]

May 16, 2023 17:19:03 GMT -5 waverly said:

Not to that extent. I believe the OBGYN treated me for HPV that I didn’t have because he lost his license for doing additional unneeded procedures and it never showed up on another test by other doctors. This was before MY Chart and No test results were released to me. I know it can be dormant but if it’s bad enough to treat you would think it would show up on another test. The paps were annual back then. And everything before and after that I saw him showed nothing.

I had a doctor prescribe me antibiotics that I am allergic to.

I had a LEEP in 2004, I have been negative for all HPV testing since, and have had all normal paps, just as an anecdote. Also, a pathologist should have read your pap/biopsy, not just him. You could probably get the hospital records if you wanted.

[blondemoment123]

My entire pregnancy was terrible. Despite many hospitalizations due my HG, I continued to be ignored and dismissed when I asked for relief. It didn't help that my insurance denied the request for a Zofran pump.

My original doctor made me stop my AD's and by the time a different doctor finally listened to me, I was 8 months pregnant. I was able to get back on my meds then, fortunately.

I wish I had the presence of mind while all this was happening to document everything and have some recourse. I was just so miserable, but I regret not handling things differently.

[starburst604]

Sending love to all of you who have had traumatic (and some downright criminal) medical experiences.

The only time I have serious regret about was when my heterotopic pregnancy was discovered - a dual intrauterine pregnancy and ectopic. I wasn’t allowed to leave the hospital once it was known and waited my turn in the OR to have the fallopian tube removed. It was clear not everyone knew exactly what was happening and it was being treated as an ectopic removal without knowing I had a viable pregnancy. That came to a head when the anesthesiologist was reviewing consent and I had to tell him I had a viable pregnancy. He was kind of angry and said he couldn’t give me a relaxant as planned and I said that was fine and signed off on everything. As I was being wheeled into the OR, he leaned down and said “I have to let you know that having anesthesia in the first trimester greatly increases the risk of miscarriage”. I burst into tears and a kind nurse held my hand until I was knocked out. My pregnant was the result of IF treatment and was very much wanted. It was a big deal. I wish I had sat up and said “ok STOP. I want you to tell me what you’re doing differently for my anesthesia. I want you to clarify what you mean”. I wasn’t having some elective surgery! It was the only way to remove the ectopic while preserving the viable pregnancy. That viable pregnancy turned out to be my healthy and wonderful DD, but every time I think about the way that anesthesiologist handled that I rage inwardly.

[mcmel]

My Mirena insertion was traumatic. Seeing videos of the procedure pop up on my social media as a way to help women be more educated about their medical decisions is important but only retraumatizes me.

[mofongo]

May 16, 2023 19:06:01 GMT -5 mcmel said:

My Mirena insertion was traumatic. Seeing videos of the procedure pop up on my social media as a way to help women be more educated about their medical decisions is important but only retraumatizes me.

Mine was too, although I don’t feel re-traumatized by anything. My gyn tried twice, unmediated. I nearly levitated in pain. My friend got me in with a specialist, she tried again, with real pain meds/Valium/lots of cervical softeners - still couldn’t get it, but was able to diagnose the issue, which was my anatomy!! We did it in the OR under general anesthesia after that.

Also looking back, this is why my HSG was also HORRIBLE. Same gyn:( I was mad at her for SO long.

ETA: My gyn did try a small dose of cervical softening meds with the 2nd attempt, it did nothing.

[circa1978]

💔
Thank you, guys, for sharing your stories. I think maybe it is cathartic and hope it will help others speak up in the future?

I checked with my cousin, who saw the same dr when we were young, and thankfully she said she only remembers feeling like he was creepy but nothing overt. She reminded me that he put us both on BC when we were 14 and was weird about it, which at the time I thought was totally normal and actually, he did me a favor because I did become sexually active right before turning 16 but at the time, neither of us was near that point. My mom has been traveling today and now I want to ask her if he was ever weird with her.

[suzv]

A nurse anesthetist punctured my spinal fluid during my epidural with my second child. The anesthesiologist overseeing it asked her to step aside and redid the epidural. The room was super tense. They then told me I have shallow epidural space in my spine, like it was my fault. I developed a horrible spinal headache 36 hours after I delivered. The anesthesiologist on call didn’t recommend a blood patch but told me to go home and lay down and treat with caffeine. I had a 2 year old and a new born.

I ended up back in the ER two days later because the headache was so bad that I couldn’t lift my head and my ears were ringing. The head of anesthesia came down, apologized, and performed the blood patch. It was instant relief.

I had actually asked about that specific complication when signing consent paperwork with a different anesthesiologist the day I delivered. They assured me it was so rare and they use different needles now to avoid it.

[wanderingback]

May 16, 2023 18:23:48 GMT -5 mofongo said:

May 16, 2023 17:19:03 GMT -5 waverly said:

Not to that extent. I believe the OBGYN treated me for HPV that I didn’t have because he lost his license for doing additional unneeded procedures and it never showed up on another test by other doctors. This was before MY Chart and No test results were released to me. I know it can be dormant but if it’s bad enough to treat you would think it would show up on another test. The paps were annual back then. And everything before and after that I saw him showed nothing.

I had a doctor prescribe me antibiotics that I am allergic to.

I had a LEEP in 2004, I have been negative for all HPV testing since, and have had all normal paps, just as an anecdote. Also, a pathologist should have read your pap/biopsy, not just him. You could probably get the hospital records if you wanted.

Agree. Most of the time HPV clears itself if you’re immunocompetent. Often clears within 6 months and I def see positive HPV, then negative 6 months later.

Sorry for all those who’ve had poor experiences in healthcare settings. It is not ok.

[emilyinchile]

TW miscarriage

I started bleeding a ton at 12 weeks pregnant and called my insurance doctor phone line while waiting for my regular doctor to call me back. Insurance doctor had no bedside manner and told me that yeah, I was for sure miscarrying, super common, NBD, and I could go to the ER if I really wanted to and was so worried about it, but it wasn't necessary. My doctor after that was very calm and told me it could well be nothing and to go to the ER to get an ultrasound.

I went to a different hospital than where my doctor works because I was switching my insurance, and luckily they confirmed everything was fine, just a cervical ectropion that went away on its own. But the doctor who saw me berated me for having gone there because she said she would have admitted me and cauterized it, but since my doctor didn't work there she wouldn't have anyone to be in charge of my care. She flat out asked why I had gone to that ER instead of the other hospital. Umm, first of all why do you care and second of all if it's really necessary for me to be hospitalized surely you can figure out a doctor to deal with me?! My doctor when I told him afterward was like no, we don't cauterize during pregnancy, just stay in bed for a few days until you stop bleeding and then take it easy for a bit, you're fine. I'm obviously so grateful for the outcome, but the callousness of those two doctors blew my mind.

[court26]

So many things surrounding my pregnancy with DS. When I was 20 weeks pregnant I thought I had a UTI so I took myself to urgent care. My pain and issues escalated quickly. The PA was cruel. Told me I was likely miscarrying, gave me a hard time for going to UC, was just so cold and mean, sent me by ambulance to ER, etc. I got to the ER and passed a kidney stone almost immediately and was fine but I will never forget in that moment how unnecessarily cruel she was.

I had an emergency c-section and major issues with my ob at the hospital that I don’t need to relive. It was a giant cluster. He then blamed me for getting mastitis and for issues with circumcision. What an asshat. I couldn’t even believe how much worse he made every part of the already stressful experience.

[Whitecaps]

I broke my ankle in two places (very visible on the x-ray) but the people at Urgent Care would not prescribe me anything for the pain. Neither would my primary care doc. I spent the next 10 days writhing in pain with nothing but Advil until the orthopedic doctor would see me.

[arehopsveggies]

I’m still a little messed up from my son’s doctor telling me he would die without a very very invasive procedure, and threatening to call CPS if we didn’t do it. I pushed back hard saying I wouldn’t consent to the procedure without a second opinion at an actual children’s hospital. She eventually admitted that I was right, years later

She also messed up that same week and kept ordering one test at a time, so he had to have anesthesia several times that week. I was so angry when after the first anesthesia, which he didn’t react well to, I found out that we had only done one test and not both that he needed.


As much as I hated that Dr though… when she left we haven’t had a single peds doctor in that specialty in our state to replace her. Sometimes we can see a locum if the schedule works out. Mostly we are just out of luck. Our insurance won’t let us go out of state. Mean doctor is better than no doctor

[mlkgls]

circa1978, I’m so sorry. 

I went to college out of state and was able to see any dr I chose for the first two years because it was was out of network for my health plan. This is important because I swear I had bronchitis at least once a semester living in a germ infested dorm. I was always sick. 

One nearby physician was added to the network my junior year and I made an appointment the next time I got sick. I thought it was odd when I was told to remove my top and bra so the dr could listen to my lungs, but I was young and naive. I had never encountered this request before, nor have I since, and I was mortified when he pulled the flimsy paper cover completely down to “listen” during the exam. I halfheartedly tried to pull it back up but he just tugged it down again. I refused to ever go back while I was in school and the insurance company wouldn’t let me see anyone else so I would wait until I was back home, 10+ hours away and sick as a dog. Looking back I probably should’ve told my mom, but I was so embarrassed. 

[krystee]

I went to a urologist whose last name rhymes with Prick and was the name of male anatomy, and he lived up to his name. I had never had a UTI in my life but suddenly had a persistent one I couldn’t get rid of after being catheterized during labor. He kept insinuating that I had it because I was fat and fat people don't clean themselves…except he said voluptuous and winked at me exaggeratedly, like he was being a wonderful person by not saying fat. Then he seemed shocked that I WAS perfectly clean and hygienic when he examined me.

What made the fat shaming especially strange was that HE was fat too.

I told my PCP about him and she said she has never met a urologist who wasn't an asshole, so she couldn't confidently refer me to anyone.

[circa1978]

wanderingback Your care and concern for women is so clear. I feel lucky to have gone on to have had really excellent OBGYN care from other practitioners like you - including a male doctor who delivered my son. I think what makes some of these experiences stand out is the level of trust we have in doctors. Many times it is earned but clearly not in other cases.I think my aunt and I are both little shocked realizing it wasn't "just us" and he has a pattern of this behavior. I know my doctor pretty well and it must really eat her up that this guy is still practicing because I can't imagine her sharing this out of turn. But I have guilt for not sharing my experience before because there shouldn't have to have been more than one woman involved for me to realize it was wrong.

[kath16]

May 16, 2023 18:23:48 GMT -5 mofongo said:

May 16, 2023 17:19:03 GMT -5 waverly said:

Not to that extent. I believe the OBGYN treated me for HPV that I didn’t have because he lost his license for doing additional unneeded procedures and it never showed up on another test by other doctors. This was before MY Chart and No test results were released to me. I know it can be dormant but if it’s bad enough to treat you would think it would show up on another test. The paps were annual back then. And everything before and after that I saw him showed nothing.

I had a doctor prescribe me antibiotics that I am allergic to.

I had a LEEP in 2004, I have been negative for all HPV testing since, and have had all normal paps, just as an anecdote. Also, a pathologist should have read your pap/biopsy, not just him. You could probably get the hospital records if you wanted.

I’ve had the same experience waverly

[Jalapeñomel]

Yes, I had a D&C without medication. Talk about a mindfuck.

[chchchia]

This is so strange to see this. When I was pregnant with my 4th, I was new to the area and did not know any dr's and I accidentally made an appt with a GYN not an OB/GYN. I was on the bed in stirrups when he asked what I was there for and I told him and he said oh, I'm sending you to an OB, I don't do OB services here. He then felt around, like inside and fingers grazed my clitoris and then it was over. I still question whether something happened or did I just imagine it? I feel like something did happen but it was so quick and so smooth (for lack of a better term), I just don't know. Rationally, I think I know something happened, hell I was there for my 4th pregnancy but irrationally, was it all in my head? it still bugs me and that child is going to be 13 this year. It's haunting.