Updated: Work WWYD

[followyourarrow]

I need to talk this out and I’ll take any advice.

I’ve posted here about the bad job and bad boss. Yesterday, it was announced boss is leaving. Her boss sat me down and said I have to take over what she’s doing temporarily and I’ll have to work late. I’m salary. I told him I’m leaving at 5 every day but I’d be willing to work at home if needed. I’m also working on my mba. There was zero discussion of me being able to move into that position, they are bringing in someone from the outside.

Today I got an offer from a different job. They’re bringing in someone as an assistant controller because the controller will retire on 3 years and they want the new person to replace him. A tiny bit more money. WAY better benefits, like they pay a family plan in full. Flexible schedule. Just do the job and they don’t care what hours you work. We’d have to move to a smaller town about 45 minutes away. There’s no doggy daycare there, but I’d be able to let her out at lunch.

The new job sounds like a great opportunity. It’s unknown though. But, the new boss at the current job would be an unknown as well. I do feel guilty leaving the current job in a huge bind.

Would you stay at current job? Or would you take the new job? If you left, what would you tell the current job?

I still haven’t heard from the higher ed job, but it will be another week. And probably $20k less.

[jennistarr1]

There's no way I would stay at current job OR feel bad about leaving

[DefenseAgainstTheDarkArts22]

Assuming moving is doable I would 100% take the new job.

As for your current place, put in your 2 weeks, acknowledge the timing sucks (if you want) and skip your way out the door.

If they valued you, they would show it. Do you feel like they value you where you are currently?

[pumpkincat]

Your current employer has shown zero cares about your time or well-being. The fact that they employed your previous manager for so long.... not a great look.

I would feel zero regrets about moving on.

[penelope]

I would totally take the new job. But, then I've done what is being asked of you in your current position, didn't receive anything additional for all of the extra work, then essentially trained in the person that would be my supervisor and earned way more than me. It turned me into a pretty bitter person and I had to find other work to maintain my sanity. The negative feelings were taking over. So, for your own mental health, the new job for sure. On top of knowing there is a move up the ladder, better benefits, and flexibility? I wouldn't think twice about leaving your current employer, if things were tight and layoffs came along they would do what they have to do.

[purplepenguin7]

You had me with the new job until the moving part. Do you want to move again? Is that a place you want to live? Moving for a huge unknown seems not ideal. It sounds great on paper but who knows how that "flexible schedule" will really work out.

At the same time, your current job sounds a hot mess. I'd probably get out of there as soon as possible and not feel bad at all.

For me it would come down to how much of a big deal/inconvenience it is for you move to the new location.

[TR]

I would take the new job. Tell the old job that it’s a toxic environment and good luck holding on to employees.

[TR]

Also, would you HAVE to move? Where is your FI’s job? Could you move partway? How do you feel about moving?

[starburst604]

I'm 100% team leave your current job with everything you've posted. One question I have is if you relocate for this job, what would it look like for you if this position didn't work out and you had to find other work? Could you find something else in that area? As far as the pup, even if there's no daycare there you may be able to find someone on Rover who does walks or small playgroups.

[Patsy Baloney]

I would roll up to my current job blasting *NSYNC.

Baby bye bye bye!

And ride off into the sunset with my great new job.

[sunnysally]

I would take the new job. Is commuting for awhile possible well you see how things work out? I think your current job is toxic. Telling you that you have to work late and not asking? Expecting you to do more work for no compensation? No thank you.

[icedcoffee]

They want you to do your boss’ work and not be compensated for it? LOL Bye!! Is what I would be saying. Take the new job. Commute if you need to.

[donutsmakemegonuts]

I would take the new job, no question. More money and no doggie daycare cost seems worth it.

[mcsangel2]

This would be a no brainer if not for moving. Interest rates are SO much higher than a couple of years ago, it seems like very few people can casually consider moving right now, unless your current salary skews way higher than the norm for your area. When higher interest rates follow high house price increases, it makes a new mortgage incredibly difficult to afford. Historically when this happens, most people are trapped in their current mortgage for awhile (until they make more money or until house prices or interest rates fall).

If you've done the math, you can afford a new mortgage with current rates, and your area is still selling robustly, then don't even think about feeling bad!

[sometimesrunner]

Aug 23, 2023 15:45:14 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

They want you to do your boss’ work and not be compensated for it? LOL Bye!! Is what I would be saying. Take the new job. Commute if you need to.

This. Don't feel bad. They've treated you poorly at every turn. I would leave and not think twice about it. 

[starburst604]

mcsangel2 I could be wrong but I think the OP is renting right now.

[lust2hart]

OMG I don't know how you managed to not straight-up laugh in your boss's face. After begging you not to leave, saying "Please wait til Tuesday," and THIS is what he gives you? That's some nerve. Take the new job, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. When he asks why you're leaving, I'd be upfront - "You knew I was looking around, and I got an offer I can't refuse." Don't move quite yet, see how the commute is.

[starburst604]

Aug 23, 2023 15:52:22 GMT -5 lust2hart said:

OMG I don't know how you managed to not straight-up laugh in your boss's face. After begging you not to leave, saying "Please wait til Tuesday," and THIS is what he gives you? That's some nerve. Take the new job, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. When he asks why you're leaving, I'd be upfront - "You knew I was looking around, and I got an offer I can't refuse." Don't move quite yet, see how the commute is.

Seriously this is so funny to me. Pleasssse just wait, great things are on the horizon! Yay you get to do your job and your former boss’s for the same pay you get now! I TOLD you it would be worth the wait! 😆

[Roc A Bee]

Wait. You have to do your job and hers for no extra pay? Yeah I’d leave immediately!

[goldengirlz]

To echo others, I would 100% take the new job and not feel the least bit guilty — they did this to themselves!

I know we all have different tolerances for these things, but my pre-covid commute was 50 minutes and it wasn’t that bad. Especially if they allow any WFH days, I wouldn’t necessarily say moving would need to be part of it.

[mala]

Even without the backstory (which I can infer from the comments), team NEW JOB all the way.

EDIT: Creepy skimmed your old posts for some context. Don't you dare stay at your current job. Fuck them to the moon and back.

[wildrice]

Why do you have to move? A 45 minute commute isn't that bad if you otherwise like where you live. Given the luck you have had with jobs recently, it would suck to uproot your life and then find you don't want to stay there. I really like our suburb, but we picked it because of our jobs and we've both changed jobs since, so beware that too, especially if you have interest in buying soon. I don't think we would have moved here if we worked our new jobs when choosing a location .

Otherwise 100% take the new job. Things may get a little better where you are but it doesn't sound like they are ever going to have a work life balance culture, which it sounds like is something you desire. Who cares if you leave them in a lurch, too - they should have thought about that before they let things go the way they have so far.

[honeydew1894]

Yes, new job! As others have said, move or commute. GET OUT OF THERE!!!!

[lucybrown]

Don't feel guilty about leaving your current job in a bind. The problems are all of their own making.

Is moving the thing holding you back? I get that. Otherwise, I see absolutely no reason to stay at your current job. They have treated you so poorly.

[emilyinchile]

Ok yes, moving is a bummer and in pretty much any other circumstance would make me think twice. But in this case?

RUN AWAY TO THE NEW JOB AND NEVER LOOK BACK AND SCREW THIS HORRIBLE HORRIBLE CURRENT WORKPLACE.

[momin2013]

I would 100% take the new job, but I’d plan to commute (at least for awhile). Who knows, maybe with flexibility you won’t mind the commute. Unless you WANT to move to the smaller town, but even so, I’d give it a little while to make sure the new job is working out before moving.

[ECB]

The moving part - I agree with what others have said. I would commute initially until I got a real feel for the job. Also- is there ANY possibility of WFH a couple days a week?

But as far as feeling bad.... girl, no. They clearly don't care about you as an employee. Why do you care about them as a company? LEAVE. Your company is THE example of how companies look out for themselves and will always do what is right for THEM over what is right fo rtheir employees. Your LIVING it. Do what is right for YOU.

[dochas]

No, I wouldn't stay. Yes, I would take the new job. I would tell them to go fuck themselves. "You have to do her work and you have to work late". LOL for days

[underwaterrhymes]

Yes to the new job, but no to the move until you’re sure it’s the right move. It seems like you have landed in a few different shitty roles and I’d wait to make sure this is a good fit before picking up and moving closer.

[meanie]

I would take the new job based on the benefits alone. Congrats!