When your spouse or partner is ill

[calamity]

Do you still share a bed? 

If you split to try and keep one person healthy, who gets the bed?  The sick person or the healthy person?

Settle an argument please 

[circa1978]

Oh, this happened to us last night. Sleep separately. The sick person gets the bed.

[gretchenindisguise]

Sick person usually goes to the couch if they are restless or coughing and keeping non sick person awake.

[sproctopus]

Feb 28, 2024 9:33:10 GMT -5 calamity said:

Do you still share a bed? 

If you split to try and keep one person healthy, who gets the bed?  The sick person or the healthy person?

Settle an argument please 

No, separate. Sick person gets to choose where they sleep.

[followyourarrow]

We sleep separately if one of us is sick. FI always takes the couch, doesn't matter if he's the sick one or not.

[gerberdaisy]

Separate, so both people get a better night's sleep. In our old house where we didn't have a guest room, together.

[marvine]

We still share if one of us is sick. The sick person might move to the couch if they are awake or restless.

[meanie]

Nope, I will happily take the couch. I don't think H cares but I think it's gross, I don't want to wake up surrounded by used tissues.

I have a sinus infection and have been sleeping on the couch by choice because we have this giant woven blanket that can be positioned and is perfect for propping myself up (this one - hushblankets.com/products/knit-weighted-blanket)

[lovelovelove]

Sleep separately, I always have the bed whether I'm the sick one or not.

[TR]

Separate. Usually the sick person sleeps in the guest room. The bed is just as comfortable and it has an attached bathroom.

[Patsy Baloney]

My H has a CPAP, so if he’s sick, I usually cede the bed to him because it’s annoying to move the machine to the couch.

When I’m sick, I usually sleep in our recliner, because I like to sit up when congested.

[mrsukyankee]

If I have a hacking cough, I'll go to our guest bedroom because likely I won't be working and my H will, so he needs to comfort of our bed. Same for him, though he rarely gets ill. (it works out the same way if he goes out until late at night - he gets to sleep on the couch or guest bed so that he doesn't disturb my sleep, if I get it)

[bex1973]

We don't separate but if we did I'd give the sick person the bed because if your sick you just want to be comfortable in any way possible.

[emilyinchile]

We still share. I've moved to the couch a couple times when I've had a truly awful, non-stop cough with the thinking that I'm going to be waking up anyway, FI might as well keep the bed and get a decent night of sleep to be a functioning human the next day.

[W.T.Faulkner]

My husband contains multitudes; he sleeps on the couch many nights a week by accident, but if you somehow suggest he stays on the couch as a conscious decision, he is offended and will make it a point to sleep in bed.

[NewGirlNic]

It depends on the severity of the illness. If I'm sick with a bad cold and coughing, snoring, blowing my nose all night etc. it doesn't phase H. He can sleep through anything. If he's the one sick, I usually move to the couch since I'm a light sleeper. 

If it's something more serious like a stomach bug, Covid, flu then the sick person stays in the bedroom. 

[lavenderblue]

I actually prefer to sleep on the couch when I'm sick because I have more options for sleeping position, like I can sleep elevated, vertical, horizontal, etc. I don't have an SO now and I still slept on the couch last week when I was sick because it was just more comfortable. So I'd say, the sick person should get to choose where they sleep.

[sonrisa]

We don’t have a second place for someone to sleep (our couch is not as long as either of us is tall). When we isolated for covid, the not sick person ‘slept’ on the living room floor in a sleeping bag. Thd house air vent intake is in there so it can’t be the sick person.

[donutsmakemegonuts]

When I'm sick, I sleep in the guest bedroom. I usually just want to be left alone and not worry if I'm bothering anyone else. DH stays in our bed when he's sick. He is not a fan of sleeping elsewhere.

[wanderingback]

This only started happening to use 2 times now that we have a kid in daycare lol.

He actually hasn’t gotten sick yet but I have back in the fall. He said he didn’t care if I stayed in the bed but I went to the couch (the only other bed is in our daughters room) cause I felt better out there with my coughing and nose blowing throughout the night.

He’s bigger than me so if he was sick that it was keeping me up I’d prob take myself to the couch cause I have no problem sleeping on it.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer, depends on so many factors.

[wanderingback]

Oh yeah I did have covid once. This was when our duaghter was still in the room with us. So he slept on the couch for that and I stayed in our bedroom with our daughter since I was breastfeeding. He tested everyday for 15 days and never tested positive.

[VillainV]

It depends. If we cause such a disruption with coughing or whatever that the other can’t sleep, or if it’s something highly contagious like COVID or stomach flu, then we sleep separately. Usually the sick person will go to the guest room.

For run-of-the mill colds we typically don’t sleep separately.

[ssmjlm]

We still share. Mostly because DH is a terrible sleeper when I'm not in bed with him (which is not as cutesy as it sounds because it's not like we're cuddling all night).

Sometimes the sick person will end up on the couch.

If I was the sick person, I would leave the bed for the well person so at least they're not exhausted and dealing with the sick person.

[macmars45]

I always take the couch. It doesn't bother me when I'm healthy and when I'm sick I have a whole set up that helps me sleep propped up that works better on the couch.

Except for when someone has covid or stomach bug/flu etc. Then sick person gets the bedroom.

[leahcar]

Depends on the severity of the illness. We stay together for minor stuff unless one of us is nonstop coughing. We are letting one of DD's friends stay in our guest room currently so it's usually the healthy person who leaves. It is the opposite when we have a functional guest room.

[livinitup]

We don’t separate our sleeping space. Which seems weird now that I think about it. We do have a king sized bed and I sleep like the dead.

[wildrice]

For us it really depends. I would say more often than not he will go sleep in the 2nd bedroom when one of us is sick. I always stay in our main bedroom bed. If neither is keeping the other from sleeping we'll just share a bed though - we haven't generally tried to quarantine when sick (other than when he first got COVID and I didn't have it yet).

[dexteroni]

It really depends on the sickness and level of severity. But if I’m sick with a cold or stomach thing where I keep getting up or changing position, I prefer to be on the couch or in a guest room / bathroom. But if I just need to take cough syrup with codeine and sleep the deepest sleep possible, I want my own bed. Whether DH stays in bed too most likely depends how much I’m coughing or how contagious I probably am.

As for your question, whichever side you’re on is the correct answer. 😉

[cville]

Non-sick spouse sleeps in guest room.

[stemmie]

It depends.

For something that disrupts sleep, I usually get the couch because it's really comfy (when I'm having trouble sleeping I often go there and drop off almost immediately) and I'm shorter. If it's a longer illness, one of us uses the blow-up mattress in the office. When I had knee surgery I picked the couch because I was afraid of DH kicking me accidently.

We didn't separate with COVID because I figured I was already exposed. I never came down with it.