Anniversary Party Poll

[mrsslocombe]

My sister and I are hosting a 50th anniversary party for my parents. It’s lunch in a private room at a cute (but not super fancy) restaurant.

Do I need to put “no gifts please” on the invitation? Or do people assume this isn’t a gift giving occasion?

[underwaterrhymes]

I would bring a gift.

[penguingrrl]

I would bring a gift, even if it said none. I would feel weird showing up empty handed.

[thebreakfastclub]

I would be thrilled if you put no gifts on the invite, because what gift would I even get.

[krystee]

I’d probably bring a gift card to a restaurant I know they liked.

[mrsslocombe]

Apr 14, 2024 17:43:06 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

I would be thrilled if you put no gifts on the invite, because what gift would I even get.

This is the main reason I would never bring a gift. WTF do you even bring? 

[sdlaura]

I’d bring a gift regardless because gifts are my love language. I probably wouldn’t put anything about gifts on the invitation.

My parents celebrated their 50th anniversary recently. Amazon has a fun selection of small gifts like a glasses that say ‘cheers to 50 years’ or a 50th anniversary Christmas ornament. Or I’d bring a nice bottle of wine or something based on their interests (like if they like to travel or golf or something).

[sadlebred]

If they don't want gifts, put no gifts of "your presence is gift enough." I'd expect some people to bring gifts. If the invitation said that, I'd bring a lovely hand written card.

[ckay]

Yes and I would love a “no gifts” on the invite so I could just bring a nice card and not have to try and figure out what to get!

[Jalapeñomel]

Apr 14, 2024 17:41:44 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I would bring a gift, even if it said none. I would feel weird showing up empty handed.

No!!!! Why do people disregard this?

[mofongo]

Apr 14, 2024 18:16:41 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Apr 14, 2024 17:41:44 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I would bring a gift, even if it said none. I would feel weird showing up empty handed.

No!!!! Why do people disregard this?

Sooo annoying!!! I don’t want more crap I have to figure out what to do with!

[maudefindlay]

Apr 14, 2024 17:43:06 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

I would be thrilled if you put no gifts on the invite, because what gift would I even get.

Most couples I have known married 50 years want no gifts/need nothing, but love a nice handwritten card especially if you put a shared memory in it.

[Nonny]

I can't remember what we put on my parent's 50th anniversary invites, but I don't remember people really bringing anything beyond hostess type gifts. I think there were a few cards, the odd plant, and some bottles of wine. Maybe a bottle of scotch for my dad?

[rosiebear]

Apr 14, 2024 17:41:44 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I would bring a gift, even if it said none. I would feel weird showing up empty handed.

I floated this back in the knot days and had my ass handed to me. I get it now. Please don’t do this because then WHAT ARE RULES?

[fivechickens]

It’s weird to disregard the ‘no gifts’ request on an invite. Putting that should be enough to take the awkwardness of nit bringing a gift. There is a reason that people request no gifts please respect that.

[lilac05]

Apr 14, 2024 18:22:21 GMT -5 maudefindlay said:

Apr 14, 2024 17:43:06 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

I would be thrilled if you put no gifts on the invite, because what gift would I even get.

Most couples I have known married 50 years want no gifts/need nothing, but love a nice handwritten card especially if you put a shared memory in it.

We did a card shower instead of a party for my parents. We asked people to write messages in them. My mom keeps the box on their fireplace and reads them often.

If I was throwing a party for them, I’d have one of these books out as a guest book and ask people to write memories in there. www.journalsnotcards.com

I would also put no gifts. They neither need nor WANT anything. They’re at a stage in their lives when they’re getting rid of stuff, and want to add memories, not more things to sort through.

[deadwing]

I would not bring a gift unless the anniversary couple was my parents or grandparents.

I just now realized that my parents 50th anniversary is this year. I probably should have had this on my radar...

[sadlebred]

IMO, most couples celebrating 50 years have enough "stuff." They want to see their kids, grand kids, friends, relatives, and such more.

[TR]

Since people may want to bring SOMETHING, I like the idea of saying “in lieu of gifts, please bring a card with your favorite memory of the couple” or something like that.

[DotAndBuzz]

Apr 14, 2024 19:43:02 GMT -5 TR said:

Since people may want to bring SOMETHING, I like the idea of saying “in lieu of gifts, please bring a card with your favorite memory of the couple” or something like that.

Agreed.

I recently got an invite to a teacher's retirement party. She was my 4th grade teacher, and was retiring. Her daughters threw her a surprise party, and regardless of attendance, they asked everyone to email them a note, and picture of us with her from her teaching years (so mine was from one of her first years, 1989). They compiled everything into a book from all her students through the years, and that was really touching. You could do something similar for your parents. Ask people to share a story/well wishes and a picture, digitally, and you could turn it into a nice book for them. If people don't contribute to the book, they can always just do their own thing with a card.

My mom would be so irritated with dozens of random 50th anniversary themed gifts though. Engraved picture frames, wine glasses, no no no. She doesn't want any more stuff. Include a note about "your presence is the only gift they need" or something more memory oriented. No stuff.

[heyyounotyouyou]

Apr 14, 2024 17:41:44 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I would bring a gift, even if it said none. I would feel weird showing up empty handed.

You realize bringing a gift when people say no gifts is in fact weird. 

[quesyrah]

Apr 14, 2024 18:29:24 GMT -5 rosiebear said:

Apr 14, 2024 17:41:44 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I would bring a gift, even if it said none. I would feel weird showing up empty handed.

I floated this back in the knot days and had my ass handed to me. I get it now. Please don’t do this because then WHAT ARE RULES?

Right! And then everyone who didn’t bring a gift feels awkward

[penguingrrl]

Apr 14, 2024 18:16:41 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Apr 14, 2024 17:41:44 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I would bring a gift, even if it said none. I would feel weird showing up empty handed.

No!!!! Why do people disregard this?

I guess because I’ve never seen it on an invitation? And was taught that showing up empty handed is rude? I would bring a bottle of wine or something equally small, but a little something.

[fiddles]

Apr 14, 2024 17:48:40 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

I’d bring a gift regardless because gifts are my love language. I probably wouldn’t put anything about gifts on the invitation.

My parents celebrated their 50th anniversary recently. Amazon has a fun selection of small gifts like a glasses that say ‘cheers to 50 years’ or a 50th anniversary Christmas ornament. Or I’d bring a nice bottle of wine or something based on their interests (like if they like to travel or golf or something).

My love language is not bringing a gift when it’s spelled out not to.

I seriously don’t understand why you would ignore a request from those whose party it is?!

[ECB]

I would say “no gifts”. I’m sure people will bring them, but at least if i saw that, it would take pressure off. Even if i brought soemthing, I’d feel more comfortable bringing something simple.

[wanderingback]

Apr 14, 2024 21:09:29 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

Apr 14, 2024 18:29:24 GMT -5 rosiebear said:

I floated this back in the knot days and had my ass handed to me. I get it now. Please don’t do this because then WHAT ARE RULES?

Right! And then everyone who didn’t bring a gift feels awkward

Nope, I would not feel awkward. I followed the directions, what do I have to feel weird about?

And to answer OP, no I personally would not bring a gift to a 50th anniversary party. But to be honest I don’t think I’ve ever been to an anniversary party but people who have been married for awhile should not expect gifts in my opinion. The party is the celebration.

[wanderingback]

Apr 14, 2024 21:10:17 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Apr 14, 2024 18:16:41 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

No!!!! Why do people disregard this?

I guess because I’ve never seen it on an invitation? And was taught that showing up empty handed is rude? I would bring a bottle of wine or something equally small, but a little something.

Well in case it ever happens in your life, now you know that it is indeed not rude to not show up with a gift when the invite clearly says no gifts. We all learn something new on these boards! I Hope this info will serve you well

[sdlaura]

Whoa fiddles, you’d be that angry if someone brought a gift to acknowledge a huge life event?

I put no gifts on my kids’ birthday invites (in nicer language) so that they receive fewer gifts/smaller gifts. I know that someone will always bring something. It’s not that I want them to disregard the instructions - I’d be fine if no one brought anything - but they do anyway and I’m fine with that.

I can’t see getting worked up about someone bringing something small even if the host has put something like ‘your presence is presence enough’ or whatever on the invite.

[basilosaurus]

Apr 14, 2024 23:26:06 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

Whoa fiddles, you’d be that angry if someone brought a gift to acknowledge a huge life event?

I put no gifts on my kids’ birthday invites (in nicer language) so that they receive fewer gifts/smaller gifts. I know that someone will always bring something. It’s not that I want them to disregard the instructions - I’d be fine if no one brought anything - but they do anyway and I’m fine with that.

I can’t see getting worked up about someone bringing something small even if the host has put something like ‘your presence is presence enough’ or whatever on the invite.

of be mad at having to transport gifts and then deal with likely getting rid of them out storing

[lust2hart]

If someone explicitly says "no gifts please" (however it's worded), and you show up with a gift, you're being rude. You are deliberately ignoring the wishes of the guest of honor.