I want to beat my husband - UPDATE on 3

[TrickyBob]

I have to go help my MIL today and typically I take his truck.

My car isn't inspected because we had agreed to share the truck and my car needs some MAJOR work that he was going to do himself before we sent it to get inspected, that way we wouldn't have a super high bill. This didn't bother us, I'm not working and he works at night, which left me using his truck free and clear all day.

He asked which car I was taking; I said truck. I also stated that I was going to get some groceries and fill up his tank.

He threw a royal tantrum "take the fucking car!" "leave my fucking truck alone, your car needs driven" and I'm all "it's SIX MONTHS OUT OF INSPECTION!" and he's all "take your fucking car, grow up and take the car, my truck is low on gas" and I, again, told him I had planned on being nice and filling it up for him so he didn't need to run up there after work tomorrow.

Well he got pissy and is all "I'm just going to go to fucking bed". I made that asshole cookies this morning too. And I stood in the kitchen crying and stuffing my face with cookies.

I don't know wtf crawled up his ass and died this morning but I don't appreciate it.

And he's all "then sell your car if you aren't going to drive it", it NEEDS FIXED! Which is what he said HE was going to do. Which he clearly didn't do.

I want to nut punch him; hard. Wtf does it matter whose car is taken? Seriously.

[TrickyBob]

Nov 15, 2012 8:29:48 GMT -5 puddleofgrace said:

Are we married to the same guy?

I'm sorry Moon. I know how much outbursts like that suck ass.

Men are asses.

Seriously, if someone was offering to take my vehicle, fill it up with gas, etc I'd gladly let them take it.

And the outburst was SO left field. It kills me, he'll use lines like "I was trying to be nice" and it's like, no, no you weren't. lol.

[cleo29]

perhaps get a quote from the mechanic and let him see it. Maybe that will light a fire under his ass.

I'm sorry you had such a crap morning.

[BunnyMacDougal]

That's terrible. Reading this I flashed back to exchanges I would have with exH. Why would your H start screaming about something he'd agreed to? Did you remind him he needed to fix the car?

Imho: if this was more than just exhaustion on his part, you need to ask him if he wants you to take it in to be fixed or to really sell it. And find out why he changed his mind about you using his truck while the car was broken and uninspected. Like I say, maybe he just got pissy and lashed out and hasn't changed his mind. Hope that's the case

[ErinExpat]

I'm sorry he's being a dick. Ignore him for a bit. Perhaps he'll realize he was being a tool.

[TrickyBob]

I know he really really wants to sell the car.

It's a jeep. It's already had one recall on it and a week ago they issued another recall for all jeeps in my make/model.

I was keeping it around more so of the fact that A) it was the first car I ever bought myself, B) I have a hard time letting it go, and C) what if his truck breaks or something? Then we'd have no second car.

I'm more "scared" of the idea of not having a second car. Which is why I'm so leery about selling it. I do NOT want another car loan but we don't have the abundance of money to go and buy one outright. Ugh.

And I only really want $3k for this thing. It would cover the loan left on it + give me about $500 extra. If it were fixed 100%, we could possibly sell it for $4k to $5k, KBB value is $6,500.00

However, this jeep is pretty much fit for a junkyard with all the crap that keeps breaking/getting recalled.

[hisno1girl]

Sorry, the only thing I'm getting out of this post are "Needs fixed" and "needs driven"

:-|

[cuddlyevil]

Nov 15, 2012 8:39:14 GMT -5 puddleofgrace said:

Get a sock full of nickels stat!
Yeah, with DH when he loses his shit its always out of left field and leaves me like a deer in the headlights thing WTF just happened here?

No, you need a sock full oranges--they won't leave a mark ergo no evidence

[sake]

Take it somewhere and get an estimate of repairs, then Post the jeep on craigslist, and then show him the ad tonight. Tell him you're either paying to repair it, selling it, and keeping the money you make to do something for yourself. Or he can man up and fix it, so that you actually have a car to drive if something happens to his truck.
*You don't have to actually sell it, maybe this will just light a fire under him to do something.

[TrickyBob]

Nov 15, 2012 8:44:07 GMT -5 hisno1girl said:

Sorry, the only thing I'm getting out of this post are "Needs fixed" and "needs driven"

This must all be going over my head since you're the second person to say it.

Besides the fact that it is out of inspection and does actually need fixed; what's the hang up about "needs fixed" and "needs driven"?

[ladyk]

I'm stuck on the "grow up & take the car" and the fact you are going to help HIS mother.

Dude, retract the cookie goodness until he gets his head out of his ass.

[imoan]

It's ATROCIOUS grammar... That's what the "hang up" is. It's scary that you don't realize that.

[hisno1girl]

Nov 15, 2012 8:48:36 GMT -5 TrickyBob said:

Nov 15, 2012 8:44:07 GMT -5 hisno1girl said:

Sorry, the only thing I'm getting out of this post are "Needs fixed" and "needs driven"

This must all be going over my head since you're the second person to say it.

Besides the fact that it is out of inspection and does actually need fixed; what's the hang up about "needs fixed" and "needs driven"?

The car needs TO BE fixed.

The car needs TO BE driven.

Do you say it like that "needs fixed" out loud, or just when writing?

[TrickyBob]

Nov 15, 2012 8:51:29 GMT -5 imoan said:

It's ATROCIOUS grammar... That's what the "hang up" is. It's scary that you don't realize that.

Or more like I've never actually known that before. I debated about "it needs to be fixed" or "it needs to be driven" but people commonly drop the "to be", so if the whole hang up is grammar; sorry?

ETA: I say "to be" when talking.

[TrickyBob]

Nov 15, 2012 8:57:08 GMT -5 superduper said:

Needs TO BE fixed and needs TO BE driven. Ugh

Yah, I think we've established that now.

[thedutchgirl]

Wow, sorry he was such a jerk this morning. I hope he gets his head out of his ass.

As to dropping the "to be," it is common in a certain geography (are you from Western PA?), but it is definitely incorrect. And really only done in that region.

[TrickyBob]

Nov 15, 2012 8:58:52 GMT -5 thedutchgirl said:

Wow, sorry he was such a jerk this morning. I hope he gets his head out of his ass.

As to dropping the "to be," it is common in a certain geography (are you from Western PA?), but it is definitely incorrect. And really only done in that region.

My Dad is from Western, PA (it's how he says it, he says a lot of words incorrect that I've been able to correct for myself but some slip through). No one ever told me dropping the "to be" was incorrect. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I don't. It happens.

Also, I would like to add that my Husband's family says "yuens" as in "you'ins" or "you ones" all smashed together. THAT, I cannot get on board with. So it could be worse.

[thedutchgirl]

That must be where you learned it! It has been discussed extensively here lately, which i think is leading to people always pointing it out.

[Deleted]

Nov 15, 2012 8:58:18 GMT -5 TrickyBob said:

Nov 15, 2012 8:57:08 GMT -5 superduper said:

Needs TO BE fixed and needs TO BE driven. Ugh

Yah, I think we've established that now.

Lol.

Your H is acting kind if crazy here. I'm assuming the license plate is expired since the car is way overdue for inspection? I got a ticket for an expired tag once and it was crazy expensive - $600!! Its a long story, but I didn't know it was expired. That's crazy to me that he would want you to drive around in a car knowing you could get ticketed.

[hisno1girl]

Yeah, my Texas relatives laugh at my sisters because they sometimes say "youse". I laugh at them because they say "y'all".

[Deleted]

Nov 15, 2012 9:08:31 GMT -5 hisno1girl said:

Yeah, my Texas relatives laugh at my sisters because they sometimes say "youse". I laugh at them because they say "y'all".

Hey, y'all is a legit word!!

[TrickyBob]

Nov 15, 2012 9:08:16 GMT -5 @godawgs said:

Nov 15, 2012 8:58:18 GMT -5 TrickyBob said:

Yah, I think we've established that now.

Lol.

Your H is acting kind if crazy here. I'm assuming the license plate is expired since the car is way overdue for inspection? I got a ticket for an expired tag once and it was crazy expensive - $600!! Its a long story, but I didn't know it was expired. That's crazy to me that he would want you to drive around in a car knowing you could get ticketed.

My registration is good and paid up until next year so my plate is still good. My inspection stickers on my windshield are just really out of date.

I don't understand his logic. I know it NEEDS TO BE DRIVEN so things don't lock up, but taking his truck should not have been this big of a deal. I know he is in a lot of pain from some teeth that he is waiting on to get out, but it is still unacceptable.

ETA: I could just be an asshole and drop my car off at a garage on my way home and call my Husband with a "please come get me, I know you're sleeping but I'm stranded!". Ha.

[TrickyBob]

Nov 15, 2012 9:12:08 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

If he wants you to take the car, he has to fix the fucking car and get it inspected, if he refuses to let you take it to a mechanic.

Personally I'd take it to a mechanic, today, get it up to inspection and have it inspected and registered.

Is there insurance on the car?

Yup, it's insured and registered.

[TrickyBob]

Nov 15, 2012 9:12:50 GMT -5 @smace said:

does your husband normally react inappropriately and irrationally or is he on his period today?

This isn't normal for him, when we were going through rough patches it would be normal. But this time it isn't.

I should set some pads around on the bed for him with a note that says "I put these here for easy reach to take care of your little problem".

[ErinExpat]

Lol, moonbeam, you're a good sport. I like how you capitalized it in your last post.

I edited my post from earlier, but now I feel bad. I know you saw it. I'm not trying to pile on.

[iheartvino]

Nov 15, 2012 9:14:52 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

How is it registered if it hasn't passed inspection?

Registration doesn't always match up with inspection. My car gets registered in May and inspected in December. Its dumb.*

Sorry your H is being an ass. I hope you two can figure out the best solution for what to do with the car.

I always drop the "to be" as well. Even when speaking. It happens.

*ETA: I don't know if OP is in PA, but I know that my registration is linked back to when the first car that was in my name was due for registration. When I bought my new car, I didn't buy a new registration, just transfered it. So, the registration stays with the person, but the inspection stays with the car.

[ECB]

Nov 15, 2012 9:00:43 GMT -5 TrickyBob said:

No one ever told me dropping the "to be" was incorrect. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I don't. It happens.

You say you don't drop them when you talk. So just ask yourself- why is written grammar different than spoken?

It's not. Write the way you speak and if you speak w/ proper grammar, you'll be correct every time.

[TrickyBob]

Nov 15, 2012 9:14:52 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

How is it registered if it hasn't passed inspection?

Are you from a state where you just pay for your inspection and they give you a sticker?

I got my registration paper, that I go online and pay $34.00, they give me a sticker to put on my plate.

Then, when your inspection is due, you take it into a garage and they do all the tests and issue you a new inspection sticker on your windshield.

I apologize if you knew this already, but I just found out a few months ago that most states don't have separate inspection and registration.

[partiallysunny]

::walks in post::

::looks around::

::looks at geographical location::

::walks out of post::

[TrickyBob]

Nov 15, 2012 9:16:05 GMT -5 iheartvino said:

Nov 15, 2012 9:14:52 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

How is it registered if it hasn't passed inspection?

Registration doesn't always match up with inspection. My car gets registered in May and inspected in December. Its dumb.*

Sorry your H is being an ass. I hope you two can figure out the best solution for what to do with the car.

I always drop the "to be" as well. Even when speaking. It happens.

*ETA: I don't know if OP is in PA, but I know that my registration is linked back to when the first car that was in my name was due for registration. When I bought my new car, I didn't buy a new registration, just transfered it. So, the registration stays with the person, but the inspection stays with the car.

I'm from Central, PA. I never owned a car before so this is all new registration for me. Either way, I wish PA had the same rules as other states. It would be so much easier.

$34 for registration
$75 for inspection (if nothing at all is wrong)
$30 some for emissions

It blows.