I actually DID block him. But he'd write from different accounts.
In any event, I found it more helpful to KEEP the email account open because he'd give me useful information. Example: telling me he was traveling to my town (when I lived in the US) and that we wanted to see me. This was excellent info - I would leave town during that time period or stay with friends.
He seems to be under some illusion that I actually want to see him, and he gives me this info. So I've kept the account open to stay in the loop. Keep your enemies close and all that...
Assuming any of this is true, you don't understand stalkers. He didn't tell you when he'd be in town because he wanted to chat. He told you he would be in town so he could watch you leave. He manipulated your behavior. You showed him you cared. He was thrilled.
So, if this is true, your stalker is of the especially wackadoo variety and you need to suck it up and move.
That is not necessarily true at all. My stalker can not comprehend that I don't want to be with him, that I don't want to talk to him or be friendly. He will email me that he is coming to town because he really thinks I will want to hang out with him.
I want to know if anyone knows of a service that can fake newspaper articles, etc. And make it look real. Not real enough to fool an insurance company to pay a claim, but real enough to convince someone that you're dead and there's no point in pursuing you.
Actually I was going to suggest doctoring up some pictures to make yourself look fat old and ugly. But if he is for real crazy that might not be enough.
First off all I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I have a very similar situation from my ex-abuser and I completely understand trying to keep tabs on him. It makes me feel safer to know what is going through his head. I'm sure you know how important it is to never respond. I agree with talking to the embassy and seeing if they have any suggestions for you. Also have an escape plan. If he emails that he will be in your town, maybe you can take the kids for a visit back to the US for awhile. I'm so sorry it is so shitty to have to live with this fear hanging over you.
Thank you. I'm sorry that you're dealing with a similar issue.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Assuming any of this is true, you don't understand stalkers. He didn't tell you when he'd be in town because he wanted to chat. He told you he would be in town so he could watch you leave. He manipulated your behavior. You showed him you cared. He was thrilled.
So, if this is true, your stalker is of the especially wackadoo variety and you need to suck it up and move.
That is not necessarily true at all. My stalker can not comprehend that I don't want to be with him, that I don't want to talk to him or be friendly. He will email me that he is coming to town because he really thinks I will want to hang out with him.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using proboards
Exactly. His emails insinuate that I actually WANT to meet up with him. "I'm going to be in X city on X date. Would love to catch up over dinner. Please tell me your address so I can pick you up." No, just no.
I'm still curious about your husband's reaction to all this.
DH doesn't know what to think. On the one hand, the emails have been really sweet over the last 8 years or so that we've been together. On the other hand, he wasn't there when things were really bad. So he's not sure what to expect. He also thinks he can "protect" me.
Post by RoxMonster on Nov 29, 2012 20:25:28 GMT -5
Yeah if you are truly scared of him, I get just wanting it to stop, but all the things you've suggested (faking your own death, faking documents or news articles) are not things you can pull off and most likely illegal anyway. I would talk to your H and make a joint decision, though if this guy is being sweet to you and not threatening you, I don't know that I would uproot my whole life over him.
Can you buy and get trained on using a firearm and keep it at home to make you feel safer if he DID come around? I would probably just be extra alert when I am out and about, keep my doors locked, keep a gun at home that I knew how to use, shut down my e-mail account and go on with life, but that's me.
No one here is going to tell you how to fake your own death. If you don't think any of the many suggestions you've been given are good enough than either he isn't actually that big of a threat to you and your family or you're nuts.
Post by aliceinfairyland on Nov 29, 2012 20:28:48 GMT -5
Can't you just write your obituary and submit it to the paper? It's not like they have fact checkers. However, listing all you information in an obituary doesn't sound like the best idea.
Post by shopgirl07 on Nov 29, 2012 20:29:06 GMT -5
If you fake your own death don't you have to, like, disappear?
I'm not an expert in these matters but something tells me that faking your death then continuing to live in your house, run your business, take your children to the same school, etc., will not be so effective.
If you fake your own death don't you have to, like, disappear?
I'm not an expert in these matters but something tells me that faking your death then continuing to live in your house, run your business, take your children to the same school, etc., will not be so effective.
Shhh shhh with your "logic.". Just let this happen.
Exactly. His emails insinuate that I actually WANT to meet up with him. "I'm going to be in X city on X date. Would love to catch up over dinner. Please tell me your address so I can pick you up." No, just no.
yes, but has he ever done anything more than this??
Things he did while we were "together":
- Chased me with his car - Burned all pictures with exes - Was insanely jealous - Followed me places - May have tried to burn down my house (can't prove this) - Hacked into my email to spy on me
Things he did after I left the US (where he was) and moved to a DIFFERENT country:
- Went to my grandparents' house asking for my address in third country - Ditto at my dad's house - Wrote emails - Continued to hack my email until I figured it out - Had "friends" call me and fish for info - Supposedly showed up at new apartment once I'd moved back to US. I swiftly moved to new apartment.
So maybe he does just want to have a coffee and chill. Or maybe he wants to kill me. It's hard to tell. But not fun to live it.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
1. Why would you trust your real last name (even if it's your married name) and current city on the world wide web if this guy has been consistently contacting you? I mean who the fuck cares if you have a life established somewhere. NONE OF IT MATTERS IF YOUR SAFETY IS AT RISK!
2. say you do get a news article saying youre dead. How do you suppose you'd get that info to him?
Seriously, if he reads online or in a paper that you died, the first thing he'll do is go stake out your home, business, etc. iI's not gonna work. The assassin suggestion makes more sense.
If you fake your own death don't you have to, like, disappear?
I'm not an expert in these matters but something tells me that faking your death then continuing to live in your house, run your business, take your children to the same school, etc., will not be so effective.
All he knows at this moment (I THINK), is the city where I live. That city is huge. Well over 4M people. And everything's listed under my DH's last name (which wasn't available on Timeline). So it's not like he can just look me up in the phone book.
But it's a matter of time, maybe. What I was thinking is the possibility of an online obituary. And then having that sent out to all the contacts in my Hotmail account (obviously, just to him) by the "executor" of my estate. So then he'd think I'd died and leave me alone.