I told FI about the PG

[goaskalice]

I think if you've got kids already and have been together for 6 years, you're family and friends would be happy to celebrate with a courthouse wedding a dinner out. Saving for THE wedding seems completely silly at this point.

Anyway, good luck with everything.

[sonrisa]

May 6, 2013 21:47:09 GMT -5 shostakovich said:

May 6, 2013 21:42:39 GMT -5 sameoldash said:

Supposedly, male sperm are faster but die quicker, lady sperm are slower but live longer. So if you have sex on the day on ovulation, preferably in a position that deposits the semen closer to the egg (aka doggie style), you have a higher chance of the faster sperm being the winner before the slow lady sperm get a chance.

So even on a chromosomal level, men are claiming to have greater athletic prowess than women?  Fuck that shit.

Well, speedy, but very frail. So even at sperm level women are the tough ones.

[KKD]

Yeah, what stellas said. Apparently it worked for frkls, at least.

My grandmother swore douching is what finally made her have a boy (and then another) after having four girls.

[ElizabethBennet]

May 6, 2013 21:40:33 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

May 6, 2013 21:39:30 GMT -5 @stellasmom said:

There are things that will increase the statistical likelihood of a boy. Mostly the timing of sex related to ovulation.

Are you fucking serious with this shit?

Dude, who pissed in your cheerios this morning? No need to jump down her throat.

There ARE things you can do to increase the chances of having your preferred gender, of course nothing is guaranteed.  Simmer down.

[KKD]

Oh, and I agree with those who said waiting for the wedding just seems silly now. But whatever floats your boat.

[cleo29]

May 6, 2013 21:48:53 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

May 6, 2013 21:47:09 GMT -5 shostakovich said:

So even on a chromosomal level, men are claiming to have greater athletic prowess than women?  Fuck that shit.

Well, speedy, but very frail. So even at sperm level women are the tough ones.

A new take on the Tortoise and The Hare

[Deleted]

I heard that there's a 50% chance of having a boy if a penis enters your vagina between 5 pm and 2 am on a Tuesday.

[moolarkey]

I'm on the go to the courthouse and get married. WIth this many kids you don't get a pretty princess day. Get married at the courthouse and use the money you'd have spent on a pretty princess day as a nest egg for college for your kids. Grow up - no pretty princess day. You don't have to have a lot of money - you have to have a guy that is man enough to marry you and at the court house.

[AHappierHour]

Yes I agree with everyone about screw the wedding and just go get married and have a nice backyard party to celebrate.

[sonrisa]

May 6, 2013 22:10:50 GMT -5 AHappierHour said:

Yes I agree with everyone about screw the wedding and just go get married and have a nice backyard party to celebrate.

It will be wonderful :-) This summer is a great season for it.

[Deleted]

May 6, 2013 22:07:15 GMT -5 moolarkey said:

I'm on the go to the courthouse and get married. WIth this many kids you don't get a pretty princess day. Get married at the courthouse and use the money you'd have spent on a pretty princess day as a nest egg for college for your kids. Grow up - no pretty princess day. You don't have to have a lot of money - you have to have a guy that is man enough to marry you and at the court house.

Hey, do you think she should have a pretty princess day?

[Deleted]

I fucking loathe the term 'pretty princess day'.

And shit, they've got a ton of kids, but if she wants to wear the big dress and have the wedding, go for it.

[AHappierHour]

May 6, 2013 22:07:15 GMT -5 moolarkey said:

I'm on the go to the courthouse and get married. WIth this many kids you don't get a pretty princess day. Get married at the courthouse and use the money you'd have spent on a pretty princess day as a nest egg for college for your kids. Grow up - no pretty princess day. You don't have to have a lot of money - you have to have a guy that is man enough to marry you and at the court house.

Excuse me but who said I wanted a pretty princess day and since when do you know my personal finances?

[daisyheadmaizie]

Pretty princess day? What are we, ten?

[shostakovich]

May 6, 2013 22:13:41 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

I fucking loathe the term 'pretty princess day'.

And shit, they've got a ton of kids, but if she wants to wear the big dress and have the wedding, go for it.

I'm here. 

Honestly, who are we to say that she isn't squirreling away money for both the wedding AND her kids' college funds?

[TrickyBob]

Yah...I'm not seeing the hate for a nice wedding. I do agree that a court house one and a nice backyard shindig would probably be more obtainable at this point and work out beautifully in early spring/summer. But, just because you have kids, doesn't mean you cannot get all dolled up for your wedding.

[Deleted]

Yeah, I'm not getting why she can't have a wedding.

[nursewife]

I hope his shock wears off soon. I'm glad things seem to be a bit brighter for you now.

[shostakovich]

I'm honestly trying to understand the logic behind the "you have kids, NO WEDDING FOR YOU!" attitude. Other than in a situation where there is a blatant lack of funds, and the couple want to shut down Disney World a la Mariah Carey, what is the big deal?

[AHappierHour]

May 6, 2013 22:25:18 GMT -5 frkls said:

i used the shettles method AND i think she should have a kick-ass wedding.

Thank you. 

We were just trying to be smart and not go into debt over our wedding. And to us a wedding is about family. Not a fucking princess day. We will see what happens with the wedding issue. It has been on my mind and we did talk a little about that today too. 

[Deleted]

May 6, 2013 21:59:23 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

I heard that there's a 50% chance of having a boy if a penis enters your vagina between 5 pm and 2 am on a Tuesday.

I love you.

[sonrisa]

May 6, 2013 22:23:51 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

What the hell? She can have whatever kind of wedding she wants, whenever she wants. What's with the judgement?

She can have whatever marriage she wants, whenever she wants. But as we've discussed before: Kids born into marriage (or whose parents later "legitimize" them by marrying) are better protected under the law than kids born outside of wedlock. It sucks. Big time. But it is still true.

Have a backyard wedding, or marry now and celebrate later, but protect the kids.

[Yankees21]

Good luck, @sparklinwhine, I hope he was just freaked out and will come around more, no matter the sex.

[hopecounts]

May 6, 2013 22:34:12 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

May 6, 2013 22:23:51 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

What the hell? She can have whatever kind of wedding she wants, whenever she wants. What's with the judgement?

This thread is bizarre.

She can have whatever marriage she wants, whenever she wants, but as we've discussed before kids born into marriage (or whose parents later "legitimize" them by marrying) are better protected under the law than kids born outside of wedlock. It sucks. Big time. But it is still true. Have a backyard wedding, or marry now and celebrate later, but protect the kids.

Which is why I would quietly get married at the courthouse (not tell anyone) ASAP and then have a wedding later. 
Get the kids legally protected now and worry about the celebration/wedding later.

as for her FI bringing up the boy thing, people in shock can choose the oddest things to focus on. It sounds like in a moment of surprise he thought of a random issue.
If he continues to make the boy thing an issue then yes he's an ass but a random comment in a moment of shock that is ultimately harmless is not sieving I'd hold against someone.

[goaskalice]

I'm coming from the perspective that if you're not married - and believe in marriage, I know a lot of people don't, I'm not judging that - after being together for years and have kids then what are you waiting for? I don't understand the hate for getting married sooner rather than later. But, to each their own.

[AHappierHour]

May 6, 2013 22:34:12 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

May 6, 2013 22:23:51 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

What the hell? She can have whatever kind of wedding she wants, whenever she wants. What's with the judgement?

She can have whatever marriage she wants, whenever she wants. But as we've discussed before: Kids born into marriage (or whose parents later "legitimize" them by marrying) are better protected under the law than kids born outside of wedlock. It sucks. Big time. But it is still true.

Have a backyard wedding, or marry now and celebrate later, but protect the kids.

Thank you for bring this up it really is making me think and of course I want to make sure my kids are protected.

[Deleted]

Think of the children!

[sparkythelawyer]

May 6, 2013 21:38:00 GMT -5 AHappierHour said:

May 6, 2013 21:32:36 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

I am sure this has been covered, but how come the two of you are not married?

We have been together for 6 years and engaged for 2 now. Are saving for our wedding. We are hoping to get married next year. 

You know it only costs like $40 at the courthouse, right?  

[emsumm]

frkls, why do you hate girls? Hmmmmmmmmmm?

[Deleted]

May 6, 2013 22:34:12 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

May 6, 2013 22:23:51 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

What the hell? She can have whatever kind of wedding she wants, whenever she wants. What's with the judgement?

She can have whatever marriage she wants, whenever she wants. But as we've discussed before: Kids born into marriage (or whose parents later "legitimize" them by marrying) are better protected under the law than kids born outside of wedlock. It sucks. Big time. But it is still true.

Have a backyard wedding, or marry now and celebrate later, but protect the kids.

What do you mean by that? The parent's rights (particularly the dad) are better protected if they are married, but I don't see how it affects the kids. To the OP, good luck in whatever you decide!