Tell her two or three year old that she was a fucking bitch?
I heard a mom today in target tell her daughter this. She had her kid out of the cart and she was getting pissy with her because her little girl was being too slow. Then she plopped the kid in the cart, kid started whining. (I'm on the other aisle) and I hear her call her daughter a fucking bitch. My heart just started pounding with anger and I walked over to the aisle to see what was going on and I heard her say 'if you do that crap again I'm going to smack you again."
I wanted to cry. I really wanted to say something , but I didn't want to get hit either. I didn't have my phone with me, but I don't know who I would have called. There wasn't anyone else who witnessed this, if there was I probably would have said something to another person.
OMG, it was heart breaking. If that mom did that kind of thing in public, I can only imagine what she does behind closed doors.
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
Post by pedanticwench on Jul 9, 2013 0:09:31 GMT -5
I think it would make me feel like someone else was watching, and maybe if the situation escalated while they were in the store, they could call the police. I don't know.
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
I wouldn't get involved personally unless I saw her hitting or otherwise physically abusing the child.
I would, however, speak to a manager or store employee and alert them to the situation.
How heartbreaking, ugh.
But the store has no power either.
My heart would be broken over this.
I think the only thing you could do was if it escalated, or was even more apparent the young girl was at risk, "following" the woman to get a car description and calling the police? It's a huge stretch. I don't know that as a bystander you can do anything. FUCK PEOPLE.
I wouldn't get involved personally unless I saw her hitting or otherwise physically abusing the child.
I would, however, speak to a manager or store employee and alert them to the situation.
How heartbreaking, ugh.
But the store has no power either.
My heart would be broken over this.
I think the only thing you could do was if it escalated, or was even more apparent the young girl was at risk, "following" the woman to get a car description and calling the police? It's a huge stretch. I don't know that as a bystander you can do anything. FUCK PEOPLE.
I thought about waiting for her. But I just didn't know what to do.
I wouldn't get involved personally unless I saw her hitting or otherwise physically abusing the child.
I would, however, speak to a manager or store employee and alert them to the situation.
How heartbreaking, ugh.
But the store has no power either.
My heart would be broken over this.
I think the only thing you could do was if it escalated, or was even more apparent the young girl was at risk, "following" the woman to get a car description and calling the police? It's a huge stretch. I don't know that as a bystander you can do anything. FUCK PEOPLE.
Exactly this. If we hear stuff like this in the store there is really nothing we can do unless it becomes a full on screaming match or a physical fight.
I don't think stepping in is the answer because people like this are jackasses, and you can't reason with jackasses. I would worry, too, that the mom would be all wound up from confrontation and take her anger out on her daughter. I don't know, it's a sucky situation.
When I worked retail and this kind of stuff would happen, we were told not to intervene unless we witnessed actual physical violence towards the child (or another person). Even then, we were to alert the store manager and assets protection (since he kind of worked as target police, in a way). And it would be up to them to hold the person in the store and call the police.
There isn't much you can do for someone swearing at their child and making threats unless they actually carried the threat out in front of you.
What rips my heart out is when you see a frustrated mother who has a small child (or two or three) and they yank them by the hand and drag them all over while yelling at them or if the child can sit in the seat on the cart, they go jamming the kids legs into the holes while berating them for what? For being a child.
I wish had the balls to even say something like "is everything alright?" But who knows how that would have been taken by someone who can be so angered by a 2 year old.
See? This is where my confrontational side would come out. I'm not sure I'd be able to keep my mouth shut even if minding my own biz was the safest thing to.
I was in a grocery store once when a mom hard slapped her daughter (maybe 3 or 4yrs old) across the face. I got right in her face and told her what a shitty parent she was and to get help for herself and her family stat. I then told her I was reporting her ass. That shit is not ok with me. Like another poster said, if this is in public god knows what happens at home.
Sadly though, I don't think people care. That girl's Mom probably didn't give a damn if anyone saw her or heard her and if you had said something, she would probably have pulled the whole "get the fuck out of my face, this isn't of any concern to you" or a "you don't know my lyfe!" In which case, both scream loudly that you could yell/scream/talk/plead with that person and they still wouldn't view it any differently.
That is NOT to say don't say anything but if you have the balls to say something, do it. I don't. I'd be scared of them turning their anger on me and beating me up or something because there are some seriously messed up folks out there.
I do like the idea of asking an innocent question of "is everything alright?" to let them know you heard. That I could, but getting confrontational with them? I'm a wimp.
If I was in the same aisle as it happened I would look at her like she was crazy and say "seriously?!?!" If I was in a different aisle but had to come around to see it, I would glare and say "you know people can hear you, right?" I wouldn't call CPS, but I wouldn't be scared of a trashy woman that talks to a two year old like that.
But if addy was with me I would just loudly explain to her how sad it is that some mommies are mean and suck at life. Lol, ok, I would probably keep my mouth shut if I had my kid with me.
I would (do) feel incredibly sad for the little girl though, and would not be able to get it out of my head even after I left the store. It's upsetting me now just reading about it, and I wasn't even there to see it happen. Poor thing : (
Or it could make things worse. Like terrify the child. Cause the child to face repercussions because the parent is obviously unstable to begin with. If you are with your kids, you might scare the shit out of them, too. Because they are too small to understand harsh realities, and that mommy meant well when she got into it with the crazy lady and then got bitchslapped.
It's like you live in a fantasy world. Someone who would do that to begin with probably wouldn't be "snapped back into reality". There.are.crazy.people. It's unfortunate. Cruel. Sad.
CPS didn't do shit in the incident you witnessed. Sorry.
i think this possibility is not to be overlooked. the only thing worse than an irrational, violent person is an irrational, violent, EMBARRASSED person with a vendetta. against a baby.
i'd give the stink eye. i might subtly follow to see if i saw something that WAS reportable. but i'm not calling CPS or engaging in a parking lot showdown over words. there is a medium between pretending you don't see abuse and engaging in a cage match.
How would I report to CPS? Other than license plate? I don't know if that would work.
Aren't you a teacher and a mandated reporter? I have taught mandated reporter training in our state and we are told to advise people that they should make a report, even if they don't know names, just with whatever info they have. So, I guess a license plate. It varies from state to state though.
To answer your OP though, I don't know what I would do. If I had DS with me, I probably wouldn't do anything because I wouldn't want to risk confronting the crazy with my DS. If I were alone, IDK, I would like to think that I would at least make a sarcastic comment to her, but I don't really know. That is just awful.
I like to think if I had been in the aisle I would have gone "Seriously?", but maybe not, maybe I'd just not bother to hide my disgusted/appalled face, since I'm not really going to risk getting physical with someone while pregnant. Situations like this are so hard and infuriating, and the worst part is that chances are she doesn't care who heard her, thus she doesn't really give a shit what strangers think about it. My heart hurts for that little girl.
I was the kid in this situation. It's...not good....I remember it very well, as it happened repeatedly, and I wasn't a monster, just a regular kid. At the time I thought I must have been an evil child (and was told so).
I pushed it down in my memory for years until recently, when it started to crop up again, and I think I need therapy. This shit haunts you for a lifetime.
I'm really sorry that you were treated that way. No one deserves that.
Talking through it in therapy will help. I'm going through the same thing. Hugs.
I've experienced something similar, in the checkout line when DS1 was a baby. When the mom saw my eyebrows raise, she started trying to defend herself to me - going on and on about what a "demonic" kid her toddler was. I just kind of looked at her like she was crazy.
I don't think there's much you can do, unfortunately. I might make a point of it to casually pass by them and compliment the kid somehow - maybe snap the mom into proud mama mode? IDK, worth a shot.
This makes me ragey. I wouldn't have been able to bite my tongue and would have told the mother that her child is going to have all kinds of problems and issues from her mother talking to her that way.
Unfortunately, calling her out on it is the only thing you can do. CPS isn't going to do anything about a mom being an evil witch.