My dad isn't. He seems to think that I could choose not to be sick.
Miso, I think sometimes when our parents aren't proud of us, it's not because of us, it's because of them. My dad can't be proud of me because he would have to accept that he gave me defective genes. They should be proud of you, so if they aren't, the problem is on their part, not yours.
Post by Doggy Mommy on Jul 9, 2013 22:47:01 GMT -5
My dad passed away a few years ago. I think both my parents wish I had chosen a profession that pays more than teaching, and wish I married someone who made more money. My dad grew up extremely poor, was even homeless for a while as a teenager, and eventually became a doctor completely on his own, so he was a real "pull yourself up by your bootstraps and work 22 hours a day" kind of guy. DH and I are more quality-of-life people instead of work-ourselves-to-death people. But my husband is SO nice and helpful to my mom, and I think she appreciates that. She knows he's a great guy, he loves me, and we are happy, so I think she's proud of that.
My mom is pissed though that my sister and I as well as my husband are all Democrats. lol
Throughout my life, my mom has always told me that she is. It still makes me feel special every time I hear her say it, like I'm doing something right Her opinion of me means the world to me.
And before he became ill, my dad was the same way and told me all the time how proud of me he was.
@misoangry since your parents didn't/don't tell you, you are pretty kickass.
You may think your brother is superior to you in some ways, but I can bet a 40-piece chicken mcnugget meal that you are far superior in many ways too. Even if your parents have decided otherwise for themselves, no can compare to you and that's awesome. You're you, that's something to be very proud of
@misoangry since your parents didn't/don't tell you, you are pretty kickass.
You may think your brother is superior to you in some ways, but I can bet a 40-piece chicken mcnugget meal that you are far superior in many ways too. Even if your parents have decided otherwise for themselves, no can compare to you and that's awesome. You're you, that's something to be very proud of
polka! You are always so positive with me! I really appreciate not just this post but all of your posts. Thank you.
@misoangry, your brother seems like a great person and I love that you love him so much. He is lucky to have you for a sister and your parents should be proud of you too. If you were my kid, is be so proud. I would be an obnoxious Asian parent and wouldn't shut up about you.
@misoangry since your parents didn't/don't tell you, you are pretty kickass.
You may think your brother is superior to you in some ways, but I can bet a 40-piece chicken mcnugget meal that you are far superior in many ways too. Even if your parents have decided otherwise for themselves, no can compare to you and that's awesome. You're you, that's something to be very proud of
polka! You are always so positive with me! I really appreciate not just this post but all of your posts. Thank you.
My dad isn't. He seems to think that I could choose not to be sick.
Miso, I think sometimes when our parents aren't proud of us, it's not because of us, it's because of them. My dad can't be proud of me because he would have to accept that he gave me defective genes. They should be proud of you, so if they aren't, the problem is on their part, not yours.
This.
My father, brother and stepmother are not. They're resentful and often try to belittle my succeses/accomplishments in life. But, I don't really care if they're proud of me or not. I do wish my mother would be more proud of me, but she's disappointed and fixated on how my physical appearance doesn't meet her expectations.
I always melt when FI's parents tell me how much of a BAMF I am and that they're proud of me.
My dad isn't. He seems to think that I could choose not to be sick.
Miso, I think sometimes when our parents aren't proud of us, it's not because of us, it's because of them. My dad can't be proud of me because he would have to accept that he gave me defective genes. They should be proud of you, so if they aren't, the problem is on their part, not yours.
My dad isn't. He seems to think that I could choose not to be sick.
Miso, I think sometimes when our parents aren't proud of us, it's not because of us, it's because of them. My dad can't be proud of me because he would have to accept that he gave me defective genes. They should be proud of you, so if they aren't, the problem is on their part, not yours.
Thanks, kirra. My dad is a weirdo.
Mine too.
edited because I'm tired and I don't think that made any sense. I meant that my dad is also weird.
It would be nice, however, for my parents to recognize I'm not a fuckup, particularly my father.
It would be nice; and if a frog had wings his ass would not bump the ground when he hopped. This really bothers you a lot, and I spent a long time feeling like a piece of shit because my dad and stepmom thought very little of me and my accomplishments. I don't know that you are pretty content, because you post a lot of stuff like this, which makes me think maybe you're not, which is why I asked. I swear, there will come a day if it has not already for you, that this will no longer sting; that you will really feel that this is a failure in them and how they behave, not a failure in you or what you've done. I hope it's already happened.
Thanks. You are probably right. It weighs very heavily on me because I just don't know what else I can do to prove myself.
I went to the right college. I went to law school. I make good money. I have a nice house. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT, DAD?
When you have done everything right (and you have!) it's not your fault, it's his.
Time will tell if any of us get over what parents' distorted thinking does to us. My dad will never recover from his mom. I hope that one day I will be at peace with that my dad's problems with me aren't my fault.
Sue Sue is very wise. I'll have to remember her frog phrase. My dad is as likely to change as a frog is to grow wings.
It would be nice, however, for my parents to recognize I'm not a fuckup, particularly my father.
Man, I wish your dad was nicer to you. He seems so damn mean. If I were his daughter he would've disowned me for sure. You're as good as it gets. FFS I wanted you to give my kid his first haircut!!
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He's crazy. I'm pretty sure he's crazy. As nice as my husband is, my husband really hates seeing my father. My husband doesn't like the way my father treats me, so I will go see my dad with just my brother.
You know there's something wrong when somebody as nice as my husband cannot stand another person.
(((hugs)))) I am so sorry. Trying to prove yourself to a parent is like arguing with a two year old; once you start, you've already lost. The only way to win is not to play, to quote a famous movie line, lol.
Thanks, Sue. You always know just what to say. You are my favorite e-mom. LOL. (heart)
I want to adopt you and tell you how proud of you I am every day.
Really, you know how much I admire you. You're intelligent, kind, funny, incredibly accomplished, and so much more. And I love how much you love your brother, which I think is an even greater testament to what an amazing person you are, given your upbringing. You're wonderful.
I want to adopt you and tell you how proud of you I am every day.
Really, you know how much I admire you. You're intelligent, kind, funny, incredibly accomplished, and so much more. And I love how much you love your brother, which I think is an even greater testament to what an amazing person you are, given your upbringing. You're wonderful.
You're wonderful, annyong! I want to adopt YOU and make you my little sister!
I want to adopt you and tell you how proud of you I am every day.
Really, you know how much I admire you. You're intelligent, kind, funny, incredibly accomplished, and so much more. And I love how much you love your brother, which I think is an even greater testament to what an amazing person you are, given your upbringing. You're wonderful.
I want to adopt YOU and make you my little sister!
I want to adopt you and tell you how proud of you I am every day.
Really, you know how much I admire you. You're intelligent, kind, funny, incredibly accomplished, and so much more. And I love how much you love your brother, which I think is an even greater testament to what an amazing person you are, given your upbringing. You're wonderful.
Let's adopt her together! We can fix breakfast for her every day, and a nice lunch of all her favorite things to take to work, and tell her how awesome she is, and pat her shiny hair and send her off to the wonderful world she's created for herself all supported and even a little annoyed at how much gushing her adoptive parents give her. Miso, you are AWESOME. you'll get to feeling it, I promise.
No. I didn't finish college like they wanted me too, I got married way too young, and I had a baby way too young. The only way they would be proud of me is if I turned back time and got a degree and waited to get married and have kids.
Miso-you're top shelf in life. It doesn't get much better. Your parents are missing out. Hell I got tears in my eyes the other day when my son counted backwards from 30 to 1. I thought to myself "he's a genius" LOL
If my little girl is half a successful as you, I will feel overwhelmed with appreciation and joy.
For myself, yes I think my mom (dad passed away) is proud of me. I sometimes wish I had done more (pushed myself in school, made more money, etc) but if all I get out of this life is a good marriage and happy/respectful kids, I will feel like I made it.
Miso-you're top shelf in life. It doesn't get much better. Your parents are missing out. Hell I got tears in my eyes the other day when my son counted backwards from 30 to 1. I thought to myself "he's a genius" LOL
If my little girl is half a successful as you, I will feel overwhelmed with appreciation and joy.
For myself, yes I think my mom (dad passed away) is proud of me. I sometimes wish I had done more (pushed myself in school, made more money, etc) but if all I get out of this life is a good marriage and happy/respectful kids, I will feel like I made it.
auberge, you are beautiful inside and out but especially inside. Thank you. (heart)
Yes. Both were good about voicing their feelings and always tell my sister and I that they love us and are proud of us.
I know a few choices in the last few years might have slightly disappointed them. But, they keep that mostly to themselves and continue to maintain a good relationship.
Oh yes. My mother got exactly what she wanted from me. My father is dead but he was proud. You know, you would think my mom would have a better sense of what I do and its cost to me personally, but she is really just focused on what I have achieved.
I'm so sorry miso, your parents are the ones with the deficiencies here, not you. There's no point trying to make blind people see what is clearly obvious to the rest of the world!
And to answer your question: my father died before I finished uni but I think he'd have been proud of me having done it and with honours. I don't think he'd approve of my (lack of) career choice so I'm not sure to be honest. My mother is proud of my independence though she doesn't always like it. And most definitely proud of my husband choice, lol, she adores him.