Flamefuls/Confessions?

[sergey]

Jul 10, 2013 9:12:04 GMT -5 rehabaddict said:

I have done countless bathroom calcs when designing buildings. You take the occupant load of the building, which is figured by the building usage and square foot. Then by the building usage the building code tells you how many stalls you need. Of that number so many need to be accessible, a certain number of sinks, and for men a certain number of urinals.

The calcs for accessible stalls are not above and beyond the non accessible, they are included. So are the urinals. No one would yell at a man for peeing in a stall. USE THE ACCESSIBLE STALL.

I was just going to say this. Use your head, obviously if there are others available use those, if there's someone who needs it, give it to them, but like zipper-merging, use the restroom to it's full capacity!
Also, I'll use the men's single stall restroom if there's a line for the ladies room but not a larger one. I might not mind walking past men using urinals but maybe they mind me potentially seeing their junk ya know.

[RoxMonster]

I have a question about handicap stall usage. Many restaurants around here and fast food places have two stalls--one small and one handicap. I'm thinking specifically of a McDonald's located right off the highway we use frequently to drive to our hometown and always stop at to use the restroom.

It's a busy and popular place for travelers to use the bathroom because it's clean and you can also get food. There is a line in the women's restroom 90& of the time and since there are only two stalls, you just hop in whichever one becomes available.

So should we only be using the small stall in case a handicap person comes in, even if it takes twice as long? I'm honestly asking, not being snarky.

[lola]

Jul 10, 2013 8:57:18 GMT -5 FastHands said:

I use the handicapped stall at work, mostly because no one who works here is disabled and we are not open to nonemployees in any way.

But I don't think using a handicapped stall (whether you have a kid with you or not) is flameful. Yes, a handicapped person may have to wait. Just like an able-bodied person might have to wait if the other stalls are in use. This doesn't compare IMO to the parking spot. You get a handicapped sticker/plate because whatever the disability is impacts you in a way that you have a need to park closer. Having a wheelchair or braces or whatever else might make a person want/need to use a handicapped stall doesn't necessarily have anything to do with going to the bathroom, does it? (Not entirely rhetorical)

My BIL is a quadriplegic. He has absolutely no feeling below his neck. He can tell when he has to pee because a medicine he takes makes his mouth go dry when his bladder is full. From when his mouth goes dry to when he reflexes (releases his urine) it's between 15 and 40 seconds, depending on a number of factors. Clearly, the handicap stall won't really matter for him, since he's not going to get there anyways and frequently is forced to catheterize himself in public places.

The point is, it really is hard enough to be immobile and the whole, "able bodied people wait, so can the handicap!" argument demonstrates a total lack of empathy for what handicap/immobile people go through EVERY DAY. 

[sparkythelawyer]

Jul 10, 2013 9:28:37 GMT -5 @scottydeux said:

Jul 10, 2013 9:21:47 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

Oh my goodness you poor thing.  Yeah, in that case, you get knocked the eff out.  Oh my goodness.  I hope they gave you good drugs

You won't have anything like that.  It was a freak thing!  They gave me Lortab, and that was a trip!

Wow!  Glad they gave you something good!  My special snowflake-ness is that I'm intolerant to all the good shit, so I really can't have things wrong with me that a shitton of ibuprofen can't fix or I become the Puke Demon 5000.

[gozf]

Jul 10, 2013 9:29:09 GMT -5 RoxMonster said:

I have a question about handicap stall usage. Many restaurants around here and fast food places have two stalls--one small and one handicap. I'm thinking specifically of a McDonald's located right off the highway we use frequently to drive to our hometown and always stop at to use the restroom.

It's a busy and popular place for travelers to use the bathroom because it's clean and you can also get food. There is a line in the women's restroom 90& of the time and since there are only two stalls, you just hop in whichever one becomes available.

So should we only be using the small stall in case a handicap person comes in, even if it takes twice as long? I'm honestly asking, not being snarky.

In a situation like that?  If I didn't see anyone in the establishment in a wheelchair or using braces or whatever, I'd probably use it and try to just pee really fast.

[sparkythelawyer]

So what is the solution for mom's and babies and the changing table? Are we all ok with that use, or are we changing babies on the bathroom counter?

(Not trying to be an asshole, just want to get a consensus) :-)

[Deleted]

I thought this was 18 pages of discussing hair removal.

I'm disappointed, guys.

[margotmacomber]

If you only have 15 to 40 seconds notice before you need to pee, why can't you just go to the bathroom every couple of hours and "see" if you need to pee?  Serious question, because that isn't a very big time frame and one would think it would be difficult to get to the bathroom stall in time as is, with or without someone changing a diaper in the stall.

[sparkythelawyer]

Jul 10, 2013 9:35:31 GMT -5 @scottydeux said:

Jul 10, 2013 9:32:37 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

Wow!  Glad they gave you something good!  My special snowflake-ness is that I'm intolerant to all the good shit, so I really can't have things wrong with me that a shitton of ibuprofen can't fix or I become the Puke Demon 5000.

Word.  I scratched at my neck and face like a crackie and had to come off of it after three days because I had already started craving it.

Yikes!

For short term use, 800 mg. of Ibuprofen every four hours that I'm awake usually works.  But this is like, for the 48-72 hours after something like a tooth removal :-)

Oddly enough I am not allergic to morphine, (found that out after my appendectomy).  But it didn't kill my pain, it just made me stoned, which felt weird.  Le sigh...

[lola]

Jul 10, 2013 9:41:14 GMT -5 margotmacomber said:

If you only have 15 to 40 seconds notice before you need to pee, why can't you just go to the bathroom every couple of hours and "see" if you need to pee?  Serious question, because that isn't a very big time frame and one would think it would be difficult to get to the bathroom stall in time as is, with or without someone changing a diaper in the stall.

They usually do. For instance, my BIL caths every few hours, just to clear out his bladder. The problem is, if you're a para/quad that caths, you are much more prone to bladder infections and UTIs, which are particularly dangerous when 1 - you can't feel the pain so you may not know you have it and 2 - your body is already compromised so any "little" infection is dangerous.

When you're in a chair all day, you have to do "Weight Shifts", which is essentially reclining your chair so that your weight is shifted to your back rather than your ass. This prevents bed sores. Usually, after a weight shift you have to do an IC (intermittent cath), which is when there is so much urgency.

(this is maybe not all applicable to paraplegics, and is definitely not applicable to all quads. to be a quad that has the ability to cath is a major thing. most cannot.)

[FastHands]

Jul 10, 2013 9:31:53 GMT -5 lola said:

Jul 10, 2013 8:57:18 GMT -5 FastHands said:

I use the handicapped stall at work, mostly because no one who works here is disabled and we are not open to nonemployees in any way.

But I don't think using a handicapped stall (whether you have a kid with you or not) is flameful. Yes, a handicapped person may have to wait. Just like an able-bodied person might have to wait if the other stalls are in use. This doesn't compare IMO to the parking spot. You get a handicapped sticker/plate because whatever the disability is impacts you in a way that you have a need to park closer. Having a wheelchair or braces or whatever else might make a person want/need to use a handicapped stall doesn't necessarily have anything to do with going to the bathroom, does it? (Not entirely rhetorical)

My BIL is a quadriplegic. He has absolutely no feeling below his neck. He can tell when he has to pee because a medicine he takes makes his mouth go dry when his bladder is full. From when his mouth goes dry to when he reflexes (releases his urine) it's between 15 and 40 seconds, depending on a number of factors. Clearly, the handicap stall won't really matter for him, since he's not going to get there anyways and frequently is forced to catheterize himself in public places.

The point is, it really is hard enough to be immobile and the whole, "able bodied people wait, so can the handicap!" argument demonstrates a total lack of empathy for what handicap/immobile people go through EVERY DAY. 

Lack of understanding, not empathy, but ok. People suck a lot, but I don't think people who are using handicapped stalls are going "HA HA, PEE ON YOURSELF!"

[lola]

Just to be clear, I wasn't really talking about the use of the stall, as much as I was talking about this :

Yes, a handicapped person may have to wait. Just like an able-bodied person might have to wait if the other stalls are in use.

[FastHands]

Jul 10, 2013 10:02:45 GMT -5 lola said:

Just to be clear, I wasn't really talking about the use of the stall, as much as I was talking about this :

Yes, a handicapped person may have to wait. Just like an able-bodied person might have to wait if the other stalls are in use.

Right, which I said was based on my assumption that there was no difference in the urgency/need to use the bathroom. Which means I misunderstood.

[polka]

Jul 10, 2013 8:08:38 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

Sounders, do you not like this lady for other reasons? She have every right to park in the handicapped space. They are first come, first served. I'm sorry your customers are riled up, but they are being jerkks.

Yeah, Sounders said she doesn't feel the woman should park there either.

And I still want to know how the customers even know how long the woman is parking there.  If they go in to shop for an hour, how do they know she's been parked there for 8-9?  

And how do they even know whose car it is anyway?  Is there an "I hand out love, not just samples" bumper sticker on her car or something?

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2013 8:05:52 GMT -5 Miss Phryne Fisher said:

Jul 10, 2013 7:59:08 GMT -5 lola said:

OMFG. No.

I have to wonder about this...I have worked at several grocery stores in several states, and have never once seen every handicapped spot taken. Is this store possibly not compliant with ADA does it have enough spots? This could get your boss in a lot more hot water than he thinks. She has every right to park there. 

Th parking lot is not store property it's owned by the property manager. We have 5 handicap spots and they are almost always all used. The island I live on is full of retirees and there was actually concern a couple years ago a out there not being enough of a population to keep all of the elementary schools running because there weren't enough kids and younger families on the island.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2013 11:31:14 GMT -5 polka said:

Jul 10, 2013 8:08:38 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

Sounders, do you not like this lady for other reasons? She have every right to park in the handicapped space. They are first come, first served. I'm sorry your customers are riled up, but they are being jerkks.

Yeah, Sounders said she doesn't feel the woman should park there either.

And I still want to know how the customers even know how long the woman is parking there.  If they go in to shop for an hour, how do they know she's been parked there for 8-9?  

And how do they even know whose car it is anyway?  Is there an "I hand out love, not just samples" bumper sticker on her car or something?

Because we are 1 of 2 stores on the island we get many of the same people several times a day. Some have seen her when she gets there in the morning and is setting up all her stuff. Then seen her in the afternoon when she is still there at 5pm.

I've also had customers complain about the fire trucks and ambulances parking in the fire lane when they come get lunch.

It's just the community I live in. They feel they are very entitled to everything and when something doesn't go the way they want it to they complain.

[candc]

((emsumm)) I don't think that is true, look at some great people that end up with all the sorrows/hardship and some crappy people that end up with things easy and the rest of us that get lucky in parts of our lives and still have tragedies that we have to handle. There is no rhyme or reason, just life.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2013 12:43:04 GMT -5 @sounderschick said:

If this is the case, then the owner needs to negotiate more accessible spots with the lease renewal, not get their panties in a wad because someone who needs it uses it.

[Jalapeñomel]

Good job mofongo ....19 pager.

[underwaterrhymes]

Jul 9, 2013 21:17:20 GMT -5 kirra said:

It's just one of the many things that suck about being young and disabled. And of all the days to deal with it, I didn't want to deal with it today. I got definite diagnoses of EDS on Friday, and I've been on the phone with eight doctors offices in the last two days.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Paging MWOS. She has EDS too, I believe, and may be able to commiserate.

[Jalapeñomel]

[bab]

Jul 10, 2013 7:01:28 GMT -5 WOT?* said:

Jul 10, 2013 6:01:31 GMT -5 bab said:

I hate this handicap stall debate so much. I'm so sorry, but it is not illegal or inconsiderate to use a handicap stall if you are not disabled. A very high percentage of public stalls have the changing table in there. Do you mean to tell me people who are not disabled should be using the floor to change their kid? Only disabled people are allowed to change their children on a table? Come on. The parking is one thing, but a handicap stall is just designed so a wheelchair can fit, it does not mean only those who need wheelchair access are allowed in there.

I think you missed something here.  Or I did.

You did

[WOT?*]

Jul 10, 2013 17:40:10 GMT -5 bab said:

Jul 10, 2013 7:01:28 GMT -5 WOT?* said:

I think you missed something here.  Or I did.

You did

So, what did I miss?

I believe the arguments against using the stalls have been handicapped stalls should be a last resort, not a first resort, for able-bodied people who have no restrictions and are fully capable of using a standard stall so the handicapped stalls are available for people who need it, when they need it.  Need being wheelchair-bound, walker-restricted, physically infirm, disabled, parents with small children or strollers, etc. I haven't seen a single soul say you should be changing your kids' diaper on the floor just so you don't take up the stall "just in case."  See the discussion between gozf and fasthands and comments by lola re: her brother-in-law for reasoning as to why they should be a last resort for the unrestricted able-bodied.  (kids = restrictions.)

[wise_rita]

Jul 9, 2013 15:01:58 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

Jul 9, 2013 14:17:08 GMT -5 toledo said:

I'll see your HIMYM, and raise you Modern Family.

I'll raise you one. I don't think MF is funny at all and one of the main haracters is a friend of mine. I've only watched one episode

How was this not noticed?!

[speckledfrog]

I noticed. I don't care. I don't watch the show and it doesn't matter to me if farmer has a friend who is famous.

[W.T.Faulkner]

Jul 10, 2013 9:57:06 GMT -5 toledo said:

Also, it's handicapped people. Not handicap people.

It's "actually people with disabilities" if we're getting real. 

Handicap people, guys?  

[W.T.Faulkner]

Jul 11, 2013 8:57:37 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Jul 11, 2013 8:53:35 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

It's "actually people with disabilities" if we're getting real. 

Handicap people, guys?  

We're talking about handicapped bathrooms here, hence use of the word handicap.

I get that, but it's actually an outdated/incorrect term.   Bathrooms and parking spots can be handicapped, but people have disabilities. 

Clearly I'm saying this on page 19 because only recently  I discovered pages 3-18 were not about body hair. 

[W.T.Faulkner]

Jul 11, 2013 9:07:00 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Jul 11, 2013 9:06:07 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

I get that, but it's actually an outdated/incorrect term.   Bathrooms and parking spots can be handicapped, but people have disabilities. 

Clearly I'm saying this on page 19 because only recently  I discovered pages 3-18 were not about body hair. 

WE KNOW lol. 

I'm sorry I'm sensitive!  lol

[eb777888]

Why is handicapped offensive?

[W.T.Faulkner]

Jul 11, 2013 9:08:57 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

Why is handicapped offensive?

So, the word "handicap" itself isn't necessarily offensive.  It just means a challenge or barrier to success. 

It's the phrasing "handicapped people" that's offensive, because it puts the disability first and presents it as a defining characteristic for the person.  It's the same reason why most people don't say "autistic kids" anymore; it's "kids with autism."