At a party recently we were talking with my friends and he told them what a good wife he's being with taking care of the house, packing me lunch and things like that (since he's at home and I'm working right now).
I was so embarrassed! I just cut in and emphasized how great we're doing and yes, he makes a great lunch and tried to quickly gloss over.
So no, he's not a feminist. He's always very respectful in our relationship, but he's just not very aware I guess.
No, he is not. He has a line (which I disagree with)... ie: he dislikes woman broadcasting football. It has been a source of argument for us, but, he's always backed me in our male dominated field (engineering).
What is his reasoning behind this? Not trying to be snarky - I'm genuinely interested.
I wouldn't say full on feminist. He's not out rallying or anything. But he definitely supports women's rights, gets mad about the same things I do, is proud I earn more, etc.
Not really. I mean, his heart is in the right place for the obvious stuff, and eventually other things work their way into his consciousness, but he's way too full of defensiveness and privilege to be a feminist. It's a source of contention between us, and has made me wonder more than once whether I've made a mistake.
There is no way that DH couldn't be after the way his mother raised him. His sister is a big feminist, also. Sometimes, I think he's more of a feminist than I am.
He wants to be. He knows he needs to agree with feminism to have a successful relationship with me. But I'm sure there are times he really really wishes he had it like his dad does, lol.
So Jake and I have been talking about this more for instance. And at first he didn't quite get it but then he was "oh shit!" And now can point out examples on his own etc. I passed along the info as I learned about it (more putting my thoughts into a better articulation with evidence etc) so it wasnt like I sat him down or anything. blogs.scientificamerican.com/psysociety/2013/04/02/benevolent-sexism/
There was also that Jessica Reye bathing suit thing which we both explored a bit. It is fun for me to talk about these things w him too b/c of his Mormon upbringing and his male dominated field (which he loves having chicks in and sees their struggles more now that he has been in the field for 8 years). I think it is more that he isnt as sensitive to the things I jump on always because he hasnt had to be. And he didnt go to a liberal arts all womens school, twice lol.
But let me tell you, his "you are wrong" snark on any topic is gooooold.
Yes. He's not an activist or anything but he hasn't said anything sexist that I can remember. He thinks men and women are equal and should be treated that way. The division of housework is tricky in our house because of other factors but other than that I would say yes.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Aug 8, 2013 5:31:55 GMT -5
Yes. In fact, he is changing the baby's diaper right now, does the laundry and the grocery shiopping most of the time, cooks often, and is solely responsible for ironing since I suck at it.
He is not an active feminist (in the rah rah sense) but he certainly believes in equality and respects the women's rights movement. His Mom is a very strong woman and he had a fantastic role model growing up. He will also call people out for saying inappropriate or disrespectful jokes and whatnot.
I think this was a huge point of contention in my parents marriage as my Mom is a very active feminist whereas my Dad seems much happier with my Stepmom now, who is not.
No, he is not. He has a line (which I disagree with)... ie: he dislikes woman broadcasting football. It has been a source of argument for us, but, he's always backed me in our male dominated field (engineering).
What is his reasoning behind this? Not trying to be snarky - I'm genuinely interested.
I had never heard him comment on female sideline reporters or broadcasters until Erin Andrews came onto the scene, and he hates her as a broadcaster/reporter with a passion. I think he feels that she was a pretty face who didn't know enough about the game and therefore her questions/comments added nothing of value. As a result I think he generally feels that females don't know enough about the intricacies/strategies to add value as broadcasters or reporters at the game.
He believes in equal rights for women, is the total opposite of a chauvinist (in fact, one of my favorite things about him is how he is not at all about 'I'm the man, I must do this, you're the woman, you must do that'), and would totally do a Slut Walk if I asked, lol. That said, I'd say no - he has a really bad habit of throwing around the word bitch when talking about women (like other drivers - 'look at this bitch') but we're working on it. His Dad is very much a misogynist, so H is worse around him, but, like I said, we're working on it. He's always open to bettering himself, which I appreciate so much.
My H cleans the house, cooks occasionally,and changes his children's diapers but I'm pretty sure he's not a feminist.
There is a difference between being a great guy/husband and being a feminist.
Thank you, I am getting annoyed here.
chauvinism: Prejudiced belief in the superiority of one's own gender, group, or kind: feminism: 1. a doctrine advocating social, political, and economic rights for women equal to those of men. 2. a movement for the attainment of such rights. 3. feminine character.
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
Post by AHappierHour on Aug 8, 2013 9:01:43 GMT -5
FI is not a feminist but he'a not an asshole. to be honest I just don't think it matters to him what gender is doing what role. He just wants to see progress.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Aug 8, 2013 9:24:19 GMT -5
I am rolling my eyes at people getting up in arms over the meaning of the word feminist.
Believing that women should have equal rights and not subscribing to traditional gender roles go hand in hand.
IMO, someone who supports "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes," but does nothing around the house is NOT a feminist. My economic and social equality is dependent upon H also doing things around the house.