Post by VeryViolet on Aug 28, 2013 15:41:26 GMT -5
I "joke" with people about how I am going to have a magic kid that sleeps through the night almost immediately. Really though I tell myself this because I cannot imagine having to survive on no sleep for a long period of time. I am also terrified that I am going to sleep through the kid crying and just generally fuck him up in many ways. I also feel like such an asshole for thinking/typing this because all I have wanted for forever is a baby and it was a long road to get here and now I am just scared/dreading it. I am also so terrified that something is going to happen and I won't have a baby come October like it just can't be real. Am I for real losing my mind?
My sister has offered to get a sitter for my niece on the day of M's birthday instead of bringing her, because she has some behavior issues right now and my sister is afraid it will monopolize the day if she's there. I'm sort of relieved.
My sister has offered to get a sitter for my niece on the day of M's birthday instead of bringing her, because she has some behavior issues right now and my sister is afraid it will monopolize the day if she's there. I'm sort of relieved.
That's sad. How old is your niece?
She's 3. It's typical behavior but multiplied because my sister doesn't discipline her, ever. She yells and thinks that's enough. So in turn, my niece acts out everywhere she goes, like to the nth degree. It *is* sad. And I know the reason why she said that is because 1) She doesn't want to deal with it and 2) She doesn't want other people to see that behavior because she's embarrassed by it. And I'm a jerk for feeling relieved about it, I know.
My cousin constantly complains on facebook about how her baby is colicky and keeps her up all night, every night, and I don't believe her.
Why don't you believe her?
She tends to lie about a lot of things, and especially loves posting dramatic things for attention on facebook. For example, when she was pregnant, she posted throughout her pregnancy with things like: "On my way to the hospital! Say a prayer for me." She'd get a million replies of "Oh my god! Are you okay?!?" and never respond or update. When I asked my aunt how she was doing, aunt said cousin was fine and had no idea about the hospital (they are close so aunt would know).
Cousin also lies about small things all the time, which are too numerous to list here. I basically doubt most things that she says, which is unfortunate.
I'm so embarassed to admit this. I did a ton of stress eating today. Chocolate milk for breakfast, egg and cheese wrap with hashbrowns for lunch from Dunkin, and then a cappuccino and Mountain Dew. I feel gross and fat. And still stressed.
I am so tired of people yelling "slut shaming" the minute anyone criticizes a woman. Miley's VMA performance was tacky. Saying that is not slut shaming and doesn't make me a traitor to feminism. Being a woman doesn't exempt you from being called out if you are stupid, you know :/
Well, the question for me is this -
Why are we calling it "Miley's VMA performance" and not "Miley and Robin's VMA performance"? He was just as must a part of it as she was.
Just like Janet Jackson and JT. SHE was raked over the coals for "her" performance and yet he was the one that pulled her clothes off.
People are calling slut shaming not because she's a woman. They're calling slut shaming because that routine wasn't her alone and yet she's the only one we're hearing about (for the verymost part).
I need to do this next time I go away for the night. He always has someone over to help him, or he brings dd to his moms.
This is fucked up.
What if he did this to you?!
I do everything alone during the week because he works two jobs right now, so I would just handle it like I always do. He has never had her alone for more than 5 hours at a time. He can handle it, barring some kind of medical emergency. I don't think it's fucked up at all.
Post by sunshineray on Aug 28, 2013 16:13:28 GMT -5
My sister picked DD up from school today to spend some time with her. All I've done today is take a shower, go to my therapy appt, and GBCN. My therapist thinks I'm intentionally isolating myself, which is probably true, but I guess my flameful is that I just don't care.
Also, this was the third time I've seen her and I can't decide whether or not I like her yet.
I do everything alone during the week because he works two jobs right now, so I would just handle it like I always do. He has never had her alone for more than 5 hours at a time. He can handle it, barring some kind of medical emergency. I don't think it's fucked up at all.
The point is he is a human and gets to decide to seek help or not.
Taking any other approach to this just turns it into a martyry pissing contest.
I just don't want it to turn into "Ok, poppy is leaving so I can call my parents and take M over there" and I don't want him to panic. He doubts himself, still, as a parent and is having a hard time trusting his instincts. I think it will be good for him, but maybe I'm wrong.
I am going on a weekend Bachelorette trip next month for one of my college friends. There will be shopping, good restaurants, and a spa involved. I'm so excited to get away for a weekend and just have time to myself. I told my H that he is not allowed to call anyone for help with M that weekend. Lol. He didn't even say anything about asking for help or that he would even need it, and I know I'm being controlling, but he can do this and I want to prove it to him. I also want him to see how hard it can be when flying solo. Because I'm mean.
This really is pretty fucked up of you.
I think I get what she's trying to do here, as far as trying to help him to prove to himself that he CAN take care of her on his own, but the approach is shitty. Because what if he is totally overwhelmed and feels like he can't reach out to you or anyone else for help because it'll make him look like a failure?
Also, since it sounds like this will be the first time you've been away from her for that length of time, it's pretty likely that she's gonna freak during bedtimes and nap times and won't be acting like she normally does when you're around. Just saying.
I "joke" with people about how I am going to have a magic kid that sleeps through the night almost immediately. Really though I tell myself this because I cannot imagine having to survive on no sleep for a long period of time. I am also terrified that I am going to sleep through the kid crying and just generally fuck him up in many ways. I also feel like such an asshole for thinking/typing this because all I have wanted for forever is a baby and it was a long road to get here and now I am just scared/dreading it. I am also so terrified that something is going to happen and I won't have a baby come October like it just can't be real. Am I for real losing my mind?
Not losing your mind, I felt the same way. I had to wake my kid up for feedings, like set an alarm and stuff. It sucks getting up multiple times per night but I was still getting 6+ hours plus naps during the day. DS slept in our room (in our bed actually) so I didn't worry about not hearing him but turn the monitor wayyyyy up. You'll wake up! You won't screw him up!
How long is your maternity leave? Is DH taking any time off to help at first?
I "joke" with people about how I am going to have a magic kid that sleeps through the night almost immediately. Really though I tell myself this because I cannot imagine having to survive on no sleep for a long period of time. I am also terrified that I am going to sleep through the kid crying and just generally fuck him up in many ways. I also feel like such an asshole for thinking/typing this because all I have wanted for forever is a baby and it was a long road to get here and now I am just scared/dreading it. I am also so terrified that something is going to happen and I won't have a baby come October like it just can't be real. Am I for real losing my mind?
Totally normal You're just thinking ahead. I felt like this before each of my kids were born. It will be hard but you *will* get through it. And with any luck you will have one if those magic babies!
I think I get what she's trying to do here, as far as trying to help him to prove to himself that he CAN take care of her on his own, but the approach is shitty. Because what if he is totally overwhelmed and feels like he can't reach out to you or anyone else for help because it'll make him look like a failure?
Also, since it sounds like this will be the first time you've been away from her for that length of time, it's pretty likely that she's gonna freak during bedtimes and nap times and won't be acting like she normally does when you're around. Just saying.
She has spent the night away from us before, so I don't think that will be an issue. He puts her to bed and down for naps on the weekends and she typically does well.
Obviously, if things are really overwhelming, he will need help, just like I would. My train of thought was that I didn't want him to immediately just think "ok, I'll just go to my parents' house", and more "ok, I can do this". I told him he's a good dad and he needs to trust himself more, so while I'm away he should handle things on his own because he CAN do it. Obviously I didn't go about it the way I maybe should have.
I'm trying to figure out how generous to be to my FWB for his 30th bday next week. I wanna do some nice stuff for him/get him a gift that is a little spendier than most would give a FWB, but I'm not sure that I should.
I'm trying to figure out how generous to be to my FWB for his 30th bday next week. I wanna do some nice stuff for him/get him a gift that is a little spendier than most would give a FWB, but I'm not sure that I should.
From past experience, the slightly spendier gift pays off. For you. When it counts.
I'm trying to figure out how generous to be to my FWB for his 30th bday next week. I wanna do some nice stuff for him/get him a gift that is a little spendier than most would give a FWB, but I'm not sure that I should.
I wouldn't go overboard in a FWB situation, but that's just me. Maybe a couple fun small things? It should be acknowledged with a gift for sure, but I'm insecure and I would be afraid of him reading too much into it and getting scared off. Lol.
Post by pixelpassion on Aug 28, 2013 16:31:53 GMT -5
I made my headache seem worse than it is so that FI will cook dinner tonight. I don't like lying or embellishing, but I really don't feel like cooking tonight. He doesn't seem to mind.
DH and I are looking to buy a house by the end of the year. We also have our 2 year anniversary coming up next month. It's our cotton anniversary and the only thing I could think of was to get his favorite print I bought him years ago framed with matting that contains cotton.
I spent A LOT more than I originally thought. To make up for that and not derail the house fund I plan to be a cheap bastard with Christmas gifts for everyone this year. Sorry family, enjoy the $50 present I got for you! We have a really nice framed print now!
I "joke" with people about how I am going to have a magic kid that sleeps through the night almost immediately. Really though I tell myself this because I cannot imagine having to survive on no sleep for a long period of time. I am also terrified that I am going to sleep through the kid crying and just generally fuck him up in many ways. I also feel like such an asshole for thinking/typing this because all I have wanted for forever is a baby and it was a long road to get here and now I am just scared/dreading it. I am also so terrified that something is going to happen and I won't have a baby come October like it just can't be real. Am I for real losing my mind?
Not losing your mind, I felt the same way. I had to wake my kid up for feedings, like set an alarm and stuff. It sucks getting up multiple times per night but I was still getting 6+ hours plus naps during the day. DS slept in our room (in our bed actually) so I didn't worry about not hearing him but turn the monitor wayyyyy up. You'll wake up! You won't screw him up!
How long is your maternity leave? Is DH taking any time off to help at first?
I am taking 12 weeks which is great that I am able to.
I think part of the freak out is DH and help at first too. DH has a really demanding job (and works commission only) he wants to take time off to help but honestly it probably just isn't going to happen. He is awesome with helping out in general but this transition is going to kick our asses and I just don't think he is fully prepared (is anyone fully prepared). I try and push it but I almost gave him a panic attack the other night. The one good thing is that his job is flexible and to some extent he creates his own schedule. So he should be able to spend a lot of time at home first he is just probably going to have to work while he is there.
My mom is also supposed to come stay with me for a week or so when I get home from the hospital. This weekend she asked when we wanted "them" there including my dad in this. He and I do not have a good relationship and there is not a chance in hell I will have him come stay with me for a week. So that means I will probably not have my mom either. It is what it is but I am just starting to fully absorb what is about to happen and I am terrified.
I'm trying to figure out how generous to be to my FWB for his 30th bday next week. I wanna do some nice stuff for him/get him a gift that is a little spendier than most would give a FWB, but I'm not sure that I should.
I wouldn't go overboard in a FWB situation, but that's just me. Maybe a couple fun small things? It should be acknowledged with a gift for sure, but I'm insecure and I would be afraid of him reading too much into it and getting scared off. Lol.
Oh, I'm not worried about scaring him off. We are both VERY open about the status of our feels. We like each other, a lot. But neither of us wants to be in a relationship. We get teased all the time by our friends because we insist that we're not dating... yet.
I'm thinking about getting him a $45 GC for a massage and making a tray of minion Twinkie cupcakes:
I'm waffling between that being too much because he's "just a friend" (lol) and not enough cuz it's his 30th.
I think I'm projecting because ExH COMPLETELY dropped the ball for my 30th and I am still pissed about it. FWB isn't planning to do much else besides inviting friends to our regular bar.