Post by disappointedkittens on Aug 28, 2013 16:44:00 GMT -5
I found out this morning that a family member was in a bad car accident, and was asked to get a hold of my parents asap. They are camping with my sister right now. Anyways, my dad's cell hasn't been working so after attempting to call/text him I texted my sister and asked her to please go find them and have them call me asap. After that I was able to call the campground and someone went and found my parents for me so I got the message across, and they are going to come home. My sister did not text me back for 4 hours and her message was basically like oops we're in town right now, you'll have to wait another 6 hours to deal with your emergency. Town is 10 minutes away, and it makes me totally ragey that I tell her there's a family emergency and she can't be bothered to be inconvenienced by a 10 minute drive. I texted to tell her that I got them already, but I really wanted to text and tell her she's a selfish bitch. I have morphed all my sadness about family member into rage towards her.
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
I wouldn't go overboard in a FWB situation, but that's just me. Maybe a couple fun small things? It should be acknowledged with a gift for sure, but I'm insecure and I would be afraid of him reading too much into it and getting scared off. Lol.
Oh, I'm not worried about scaring him off. We are both VERY open about the status of our feels. We like each other, a lot. But neither of us wants to be in a relationship. We get teased all the time by our friends because we insist that we're not dating... yet.
I'm thinking about getting him a $45 GC for a massage and making a tray of minion Twinkie cupcakes:
I'm waffling between that being too much because he's "just a friend" (lol) and not enough cuz it's his 30th.
I think I'm projecting because ExH COMPLETELY dropped the ball for my 30th and I am still pissed about it. FWB isn't planning to do much else besides inviting friends to our regular bar.
Lol. FWIW, I was burned once in a similar situation so I'm obviously only able to speak from my own experience with that. But, you know the nature of the relationship better than any of us, and what you're planning sounds great.
I can totally see projecting the disappointment of your own 30th, and I'd be more sensitive to this too as a result.
I made my headache seem worse than it is so that FI will cook dinner tonight. I don't like lying or embellishing, but I really don't feel like cooking tonight. He doesn't seem to mind.
I have to say, one of the best parts of living alone again is not cooking dinner if I just don't feel like it, and not feeling any kind of guilt or obligation. Not that it was distressing when I lived with BF. I do enjoy cooking in general, and BF used to cook a lot too so it didn't always fall on me. But so often it would be my night and I'd be like UGH, I'm not even hungry can you just make yourself a sandwich?! And then I'd feel bad the following night when I'd come home and he had a two-course meal and wine ready for me.
Wait...I take it all back. I miss having someone cook for me.
I definitely miss being able to stretch my leftovers much longer. Something that I would normally eat over 5 days is like 2 days now since FI eats a lot.
Post by sparkythelawyer on Aug 28, 2013 16:52:46 GMT -5
I am going to operate under the assumption that she knows her husband much better than we do, and is trying to put his feet to the fire a bit to make him realize that he can in fact take care of the children he created without having to run to his mommy at every turn. Consequently, that even if he comes through the weekend feeling like some sort of failure, that maybe he will realize he is not one because he look! Kids are alive, fed, and sort of dressed.
Or, that again, she knows her husband better than we do, he's been a jerk about his responsibilities towards the children he created and she wants him to understand the burden he is expecting her to carry with insufficient help from him.
Either way, I'm going to assume she knows the situation better than I do.
Post by Bree Van de Kamp on Aug 28, 2013 16:57:00 GMT -5
I have another.
For the last 5-6 months, my backyard has been plagued with children who are either a) using my backyard as a shortcut, or b) picking berries off the bushes, although there are miles of berry bushes that aren't in anyone's backyard. At first it was annoying, because my dog would bark and sometimes wake up my kid while she was napping. Then, it got even more annoying when they started throwing trash and shit all over my grass. Finally, it became fucking infuriating when they started stealing and damaging my kids toys. When talking to them (on multiple different occasions) didn't work, I decided to strategically place my sprinkler so that the water would smack them right in the face the second they set foot in my yard. Whenever I get the opportunity to witness this interaction between child and sprinkler, I can't help but to laugh my ass off. I love booby traps.
But I swear my H got to be a better more assertive parent when DS got a little older. As a 1yr old he was still apprehensive and unsure when he was alone with DS. At two, he would have jumped to have the weekend alone with DS. He will come around.
My flameful is that I like when I am gone or working and H takes the kids over to his/my parents house. I know they will make my kid eat all of their vegetables and DH won't be overstressed when I get home. Plus, the kids have fun.
This is why once a week when I am all on my own till midnight with the kids my mom comes over. She helps me feed and bathe both of them and we drink wine during the process. Lol. Too many nights alone with just my kids and I'm bored and stressed. I need an adult to talk with.
I'm getting a trashy vibe from our new neighbors, whose toddler was riding around on his Big Wheel in a diaper only.
It looked like they were just moving in though, so I should probably pump the brakes on judgement...for now.
One of my FB friends posts pictures of her son riding his bike around completely naked, except for his helmet. I mean sure, if he falls his head is protected, but what about the rest of him? I totally judge.
I am going to operate under the assumption that she knows her husband much better than we do, and is trying to put his feet to the fire a bit to make him realize that he can in fact take care of the children he created without having to run to his mommy at every turn. Consequently, that even if he comes through the weekend feeling like some sort of failure, that maybe he will realize he is not one because he look! Kids are alive, fed, and sort of dressed.
Or, that again, she knows her husband better than we do, he's been a jerk about his responsibilities towards the children he created and she wants him to understand the burden he is expecting her to carry with insufficient help from him.
Either way, I'm going to assume she knows the situation better than I do.
I'm going to agree with this. As someone who has a husband that runs to his mommy for everything, sometimes he needs to do things on his own to NOT feel like a failure at raising our kids. He does all the basics ALL the time (in short spurts) but if I leave for a full day or for an overnighter, he insists he needs his mom. I just dont get it. Maybe I'm a meany too.
I am going to operate under the assumption that she knows her husband much better than we do, and is trying to put his feet to the fire a bit to make him realize that he can in fact take care of the children he created without having to run to his mommy at every turn. Consequently, that even if he comes through the weekend feeling like some sort of failure, that maybe he will realize he is not one because he look! Kids are alive, fed, and sort of dressed.
Or, that again, she knows her husband better than we do, he's been a jerk about his responsibilities towards the children he created and she wants him to understand the burden he is expecting her to carry with insufficient help from him.
Either way, I'm going to assume she knows the situation better than I do.
I'm going to agree with this. As someone who has a husband that runs to his mommy for everything, sometimes he needs to do things on his own to NOT feel like a failure at raising our kids. He does all the basics ALL the time (in short spurts) but if I leave for a full day or for an overnighter, he insists he needs his mom. I just dont get it. Maybe I'm a meany too.
Is that obnoxious? Sure.
But the minute you tell your spouse that they are not allowed to do something while you are taking time off for yourself, you're doing marriage wrong.
This is another version of mommy martyr bullshit like "he won't help me with the kids! I mean, he does what I ask but then he does it WRONG and I have to do it over again my way!".
I'm going to agree with this. As someone who has a husband that runs to his mommy for everything, sometimes he needs to do things on his own to NOT feel like a failure at raising our kids. He does all the basics ALL the time (in short spurts) but if I leave for a full day or for an overnighter, he insists he needs his mom. I just dont get it. Maybe I'm a meany too.
Is that obnoxious? Sure.
But the minute you tell your spouse that they are not allowed to do something while you are taking time off for yourself, you're doing marriage wrong.
This is another version of mommy martyr bullshit like "he won't help me with the kids! I mean, he does what I ask but then he does it WRONG and I have to do it over again my way!".
I said I don't get it. I didn't say I would force him to stay alone with the kids. He's a big boy and can make is own decisions.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
But I swear my H got to be a better more assertive parent when DS got a little older. As a 1yr old he was still apprehensive and unsure when he was alone with DS. At two, he would have jumped to have the weekend alone with DS. He will come around.
My flameful is that I like when I am gone or working and H takes the kids over to his/my parents house. I know they will make my kid eat all of their vegetables and DH won't be overstressed when I get home. Plus, the kids have fun.
This is why once a week when I am all on my own till midnight with the kids my mom comes over. She helps me feed and bathe both of them and we drink wine during the process. Lol. Too many nights alone with just my kids and I'm bored and stressed. I need an adult to talk with.
This is what it is, the apprehensiveness and the way he gets nervous. When I am around, he's great. He's an awesome dad and super helpful. But he still here nervous about being alone with her and I have to be honest, it annoys me :/ He will ask me 100 questions to make sure he's doing something right which I guess isn't a big deal, but I want him to get to a point where he doesn't feel like he has to do that. You know? She's a year old now and I guess I just feel like at this point it should be better. Maybe that's too demanding and I need to see his side more?
But my marriage is fine and my H is a great dad. We have found a balance that works, and while there are still days I definitely feel overwhelmed and like more responsibility falls on me, that's just how it has to be right now until our work schedules get better.
I do appreciate everyone's feedback and I will go evaluate myself now
"You. You and your crazy life. You and your geographic anomaly. You and your drunken lesbianic ways and terrible navigational skills." - ProfArt and her holy baby
Post by Ohhmm(bligo) on Aug 28, 2013 18:24:18 GMT -5
Also, my textbook got all defensive and EVEN THOUGH THE CONSERVATIVES THINK STUDENTS SHOULD BE FREE TO LEARN ABOUT RELIGION IN SCIENCE, I JUST BET THEY'D FLIP UPSIDE DOWN OVER A BIBLE IF TEACHERS TRIED TO TEACH ABOUT HINDUISM, and I was very uncomfortable, because YES, YES, OH GOD, YES, and also THAT'S A BIT UNPROFESSIONAL FOR A SCIENCE TEXTBOOK TO SAY.
"You. You and your crazy life. You and your geographic anomaly. You and your drunken lesbianic ways and terrible navigational skills." - ProfArt and her holy baby
I am REALLY not good at reading with LO. I know everyone says it helps his language development but he just takes the book out of my hands, shakes it a lot, puts it on the ground and smacks it a few times and then puts it in his mouth to chew on. I can't actually READ it. So I don't read to him very much. Sometimes I feel bad but the only solution I can come up with is to memorize the books and just recite it while he tries to destroy the book.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Aug 28, 2013 19:20:52 GMT -5
I got my first postpartum period today. The cramps haven't started yet (they usually appear on day 2) but I'm craving a Heath bar like nobody's business.
H is working late tonight and I'm thinking of asking him to stop on the way home.
H caught my cold, but he seems to be holding up remarkably better than me. The past 2 nights he has taken a nyquil and slept like a baby, while I lay in bed gasping for air out of my mouth and nose, lol. A little part of me wanted to kill that man at 4 AM
I am REALLY not good at reading with LO. I know everyone says it helps his language development but he just takes the book out of my hands, shakes it a lot, puts it on the ground and smacks it a few times and then puts it in his mouth to chew on. I can't actually READ it. So I don't read to him very much. Sometimes I feel bad but the only solution I can come up with is to memorize the books and just recite it while he tries to destroy the book.
Can't you just talk to him a lot? I mean, he wouldn't know the difference if you were just randomly saying words vs reading, right?
That's kind of what I figure. I talk to him about my day, DH talks about his day. We have dinner together at the table and talk then. DS joins in with his "babababababa dadada" stuff. Sometimes I just feel like I'm doing this wrong.
Post by RitzyHeifer on Aug 28, 2013 20:10:14 GMT -5
I know I don't have chops around here, but I'm picking up what poppy is throwing down. I've been OOT for a few days at a time on job interviews this summer and there are things H *needs* help with (H doesn't drive so daycare drop off/pickup has to be done with or by someone else), I'm always astounded at how "easy" he has it because the pick up person will go ahead and take DS to dinner, swimming or other activity, etc. since H is all on his own.
Then the few times I'm really on my own with DS (granted I can drive the 2 of us places for entertainment but rarely do), H is all "what's the big deal?" Erm, no one takes him off my hands for hours at a time?
I've done a fuck load of stress eating this past week. I'm just tired. Tired of crying kids. Tired of my husband working in another provence. Tired of whining. Tired of paperwork, and faxing, and house shit, and the waiting. And did I mention the WHINING?