Oh there are so many. This is one of my favorites.
When H and I were dating and living together (oh the scandal) I had some of my cousin's baby's pictures out. MIL asked H whose baby that was, he said cousin's and she asked if he had seen her when she was pregnant. She said the baby looked like me and was basically verifying that I didn't have a kid in the closet.
Post by ElizabethBennet on Sept 9, 2013 23:30:43 GMT -5
When H and I were just about to get married MIL pulled me aside and told me to make sure that I don't make H clean to much because he gets tired and told me what kind of laundry detergent to use because H had sensitive skin.
I didn't listen to either of these things and this is the least offensive of the things that she has said and done.
She has told me a number of times that she is putting in her order for a grand kid.
Once, when I was still in school, she demanded to know why we didn't try to have a kid right then. I told her that if we did have a kid, I would have to drop out of school. Her response? "So?"
Post by CheshireGrin on Sept 9, 2013 23:32:34 GMT -5
I have none for my MIL right now.
My XMIL was a fucking fruitcake. One of my favorite stories was actually from our wedding. She cornered my MOH and went on and on about how it would be absolutely HYSTERICAL for my MOH to "kidnap" me after the wedding, as in offer to drive me back to the hotel (separately from XH) and then just drive around in circles for a couple of hours, leaving my XH alone in our room on our wedding night having no idea where I am. DOESN'T THAT SOUND LIKE SO MUCH FUN?! Luckily, my MOH gave her a straight-up, "No. We're not doing that."
MIL likes to take ordinary things O does and put morbid twists on them. I told her he had hit his head three days in a row, all by accident and she told me he was gong to "lose his smarts" if he kept hitting his head.
And everything I let him do that is the least bit adventurous will obviously lead to his death or ruin him in some way...which she tells me.
H told his parents that we slept in separate rooms when we bought the house because we weren't married at the time. MIL asked him if he locked his door at night so I couldn't sneak into his room and touch him.
XMIL said that I was trying to ruin the dynamics of a strong family because I wanted her to call before she came over; or hell, even knock. She had the key before I existed. Since she ignored me repeatedly, I ended up asking for the key back. She told me that she was the matriarch of the family and that I should just go along with what she wants. XH agreed with her. <--- Beginning of the end right there.
Post by pixelpassion on Sept 9, 2013 23:50:16 GMT -5
There's not much I can say about STBMIL that's negative, but the weirdest things she says stem from some hypochondriac tendencies. She'll keep sending me articles on the dangers of aspartame, tells me that if I'm not careful that my phone will get so hot in my pants pocket that it'll explode, etc.
The oddest thing is that she pathologizes the shit out of people. She's convinced that everyone has some sort of mental illness/issue. She keeps talking about how she thinks BIL#1 has OCD, BIL#2 is clinically depressed after his breakup (he's taking it rather well), and FI has memory problems. I tell her that everyone's fine and normal, but what do I know? I'm just a licensed therapist
H told his parents that we slept in separate rooms when we bought the house because we weren't married at the time. MIL asked him if he locked his door at night so I couldn't sneak into his room and touch him.
Post by nancybotwin on Sept 10, 2013 0:07:03 GMT -5
I love, love my MIL but the one that still makes me laugh (or feel horrified...)
BIL was dating a girl (M). M's sister was adopted. One day we were talking about the circumstances of the adoption, how her bio mom was a teenager, and MIL asked "she didn't want to just get an abortion??"
Post by Dumbledork on Sept 10, 2013 0:14:06 GMT -5
Up until about a year ago, she believed I had an abortion and would associate with me as minimally as possible. She finally said something to DH about it and he swore up and down that no, I never had an abortion, not that it's any of her business anyway. She got all huffy and said something like "Well, are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure she said she had one, and she may not have told you, you know. I never really thought you knew about it anyway, I mean, how could you marry her if you knew she'd done THAT." He continued to confirm that I've never had one and eventually she believed him. She's much more civil to me now.
We told her we were thinking about DH getting out of the military in two years. She offered us $10,000+ to help us pay for things so he could get out next summer instead. When he told her a few weeks ago that we'd changed from 2 to 4 years in order to secure the GI Bill for our daughter, she sent us each an email with a link to an end-of-times sermon that illustrated how evil the Army is because they allow gays and women and Muslims to serve and interact with Christians. She added her own intro, saying he should really reconsider her offer, because if he stayed in, he'd be more likely to be corrupted by it all and end up in hell. She threw in a "DD would miss you so much in heaven!!!!111!!" She also indirectly blamed me for his godlessness, throwing in phrases like "I know you were raised properly DH, and know all the teachings in the book of Revelations. I don't know how YOU were raised pumpkin, but this is serious stuff."
ETA: That got way too long and ranty so I deleted some of it.
My MIL once told me I kept my house too clean. She was upset because she'd spilled something in my kitchen and it was necessary to wipe it up, because the rest of my kitchen wasn't a giant sticky mess and she couldn't just leave it for later.
When my h and I were first dating I had a short pixie cut. I went to his house (he was living at home) and she answered the door and said "oh I didn't recognize you through the peephole, you look like one of the Backstreet Boys". Thank goodness I like her a lot. Most of the random shit she says I can ignore.
When my husband and I moved up to our current location I was working in an office part time, this job consistently ran me 36 to 40 hours a week and then would drop me down to 10 hours a week to avoid having to give me benefits as a full timer. This went on for a year before they just cut my hours down to about 12 hours a week.
My MIL called one night and pretty much told my husband and I that my job is not that important, I have all the free time, and I don't work very much. I think I cried my butt off once I hung up because I was working full time hours, had never called off, would come in on my days off. I KNEW I was pulling my weight at work and doing my job and in one conversation she made me feel like the laziest person alive.
She never took my job seriously and I could never live up to her imaginary standard of what I was supposed to be doing. The job I had was a good job, it was one that a LOT of people make their career and are perfectly happy at. It's not like it was some newbie teen after school gig. And in her eyes, my husband will always be the one who works harder and longer and deserves to be waited on hand and foot. Which is weird because she barely acts like she likes him but I think the fact that there isn't a power struggle in our relationship bugs her. He isn't all "I am man, do what I say" and I'm not all "yes sir, do you need food? a foot massage?"
That was long.
ETA: I took a lot of the words out to cut down on length. I get too wordy and generally no one cares that much to read filler.
When we told MIL and FIL I was PG she started crying saying the baby would be stupid because all summer babies struggle in school. She also layed out and educational plan, I was 6 weeks alone. She repeated this several times including while visiting us at the hospital. I and a ton of my family are summer babies. My Dad have her a go to hell look and was pissed.
MIL has gotten herself cut off from me because of her constant and crazy word vomit. Words hurt and it's hard to let go and forget.
I love my current MIL, but my XMIL was bat shit crazy. My ex-husband was trying to lose some weight, since he was having a tough time passing his work physical fitness test. She took this as "Panicked isn't feeding my poor boy!" and started sending us boxes of leftovers. In the mail. Like, half finished boxes of cereal, a quarter of a pastry she didn't finish, individual poptarts; all with notes that said "Jere's some food for ExH. Please, Panicked, make sure you feed him. He requires a lot of food, since he's so tall. I have some recipes that he really likes. Maybe if you started cooking him food that he enjoys, he wouldn't lose so much weight. A man needs meat and potatoes!" He always complained that his mother's cooking sucked and wasn't healthy at all. I fed him broccoli one time and she said it was "unnecessary" and was trying to kill him with my "ideas about food."
Post by chickadee77 on Sept 10, 2013 7:47:27 GMT -5
My MIL is pretty decent to me, though a total religious nut. And a bigot. (But she has a black friend and thinks "the gays" are nice, just wrong. Snort).
The thing that drives me the most nuts is how she "brags" about how wonderful, capable, helpful, etc. that I am. Which means that I end up doing all of the work, cleanup from parties, etc. while she and her daughter (my SIL) sit around and chat it up with everyone while holding a dishtowel or whatever and acting helpless. Or, she takes the entire family to Disney World (including grandkids and their friends) and expects H and I to stay home and take care of her dog.
And, yes, I've started just plunking my butt down along with everyone else and leaving the mess behind. It drives me nuts, but I do it, lol. This ellicits sighs and groans from her about how late she'll be up cleaning.
Post by fivechickens on Sept 10, 2013 7:53:27 GMT -5
MIL referred to A as not being the 'smartest crayon in the box'. She was lucky she was on the phone when she said it.
We were walking around our new house before it was complete and I was jokingly saying how the girls can't have any boys over EVER! She says, totally serious, would you rather them have girls
Post by cuddlyevil on Sept 10, 2013 8:01:21 GMT -5
She said "at least he's at home and not running around chasing women at bars or our drunk with his friends" when I expressed my frustration at H's spending more time upstairs with his video game than with his family.
And:
"All men are like that. All men are selfish, you just need to let it go or bottle it up."
H told his parents that we slept in separate rooms when we bought the house because we weren't married at the time. MIL asked him if he locked his door at night so I couldn't sneak into his room and touch him.
I read this to my DH who is the other room. Coffee came out his nose. I thank you for that.