My MIL went into a complete depression and wouldn't get out of bed for 2 weeks when she found out that I am not religious like them. Then her and FIL decided to ask their organization for a move and tried to convince H to move 3 provinces away from me.
Hmm. MIL has become increasingly conservative, bigoted, and religious over the years, so there have been some interesting ones. Most I can overlook, or attribute to her just spewing forth things she hears on the radio, TV, or Internet. The one I can't ever forget, though, was when DS1 was about 6 weeks old. While holding him, he spit up and she said it must be because I have funky breastmilk. I was so tired and overwhelmed and anxious about being a new mom, and I couldn't even respond to her.
My STBMIL says some pretty fucked up things, but the most recent one that sticks out was after she found out we were engaged. Like, literally the first thing that came out of her mouth after we told them. "What about the blood line? We need healthy grandkids, from healthy parents. " This was in reference to the fact I am all but sterile and the fact that X's mom has mental health problems.
Yup.
ETA: OH WAIT. Actually the most fucking offensive thing was when she hoped X wasn't gay because, "that would be a worst case scenerio. He needs to be straight or else..."
My FIL, on the other hand, is full of batshit crazy and sometimes I'm surprised he's made it through life without somebody backhanding the shit out of him.
My MIL is a hypochondriac. She called one time to say that she had a stroke (she had not). She had a benign birthmark removed from her eyelid and she called to say she had "eye cancer".
She told us twice that SFIL had cancer and neither time it was true. Turns out, he actually did get cancer a few years later and by then I didn't even believe her. (He did chemo for 6 mo and has been in remission for several years.)
She was very PA about our wedding. She neither offered to help do any work nor pay for anything but expected certain things to be done her way. Ironically, she didn't express what those things were ahead of time. We were just supposed to guess those while she stewed about it. Three weeks after we got back from our HM - way too late to do anything - she called H up at work sobbing hysterically that she had wanted to walk him down the aisle and didn't get a chance to.
A few weeks after I met MIL she started telling me how badly her and FIL wanted grand kids. I was like "Ooooookayyyy, maybe your two older sons could give you grand kids." We were 17(!) and had just started dating. She would tell me all the time about GK and I would say, we're not having kids till we're married. We get married, the next morning she says"okay, you're married now. Start making me grand kids! Nope, not till we have have house and have been at our jobs for a while. We buy a house. "Okay, you have a house! Start making me grand kids!" Nope, we're not ready yet. 3 years later we tell them we're pregnant and they are so excited. The novelty of grand kids last about a year and then they become bored with them and never bother to call or visit our girls. Oh well, at least we have my family that cares about our girls.
One more. When I was 18, we were sitting around talking with BIL's new girlfriend who was 17 at the time (BIL was 32!!!!) and MIL goes into her room and comes out with this tacky ass looking belt and gives it to BIL's gf and says. I used to wear this all the time! I loved it! I want you to have it because it would never fit mandy! I weighed 110lbs when she said that. The gf was about 100lbs and a cross country runner in HS. We all just stared at her with this expression after she said it.
MIL came to visit and meet DS the day we brought him home from the hospital. She said she was coming to help. She did nothing except sit around and complain about things and hold the baby for 2 days. She told DH that I was not a very good hostess because I didn't make her feel welcome in my home (offer her drinks and snacks, etc). I was not aware I needed to play hostess when I had just given birth to a 9.7 pound baby!
When we had been married for about a year, MIL asked me if DH's performance had improved since we had been married. I stared at her because I had no idea what she was asking me. Slowly, it dawned on me that she meant sexual performance and I started laughing because I couldn't believe she would seriously ask me that. Then I realized she was still waiting for an answer. I told her the only time I would ever answer that question was if DH was the person asking.
I'm pretty sure she thought DH was a virgin when we married and that he was still working his way up the learning curve. He was 34 when we got married.
another story:
a couple days after we told MIL I was PG, she took too much of her blood thinners and ended up in the hospital for a blood transfusion. We rushed to her hospital bedside where she made her "deathbed" request that I follow her family's naming tradition and name a firstborn daughter "Mary." (Her name). In the elevator, I told DH I didn't realize Mary was a family name and asked if that was his grandma's real name. DH laughed and told me there was nobody else in his family named Mary. MIL was apparently starting her own tradition.
He's informed me black people and women shouldn't be allowed to vote (because they always vote liberal and liberal is WRONG) and then when everyone at the dinner table was like he was all "Hahaha just kidding", that he totally understood the discrimination my grandparents dealt with in their youth as black people in the 30's, 40's, 50's and 60's because he had long hair when he was younger and couldn't get a promotion at work (and he was dead serious about that), that he wanted to hang Obama (also he's a socialist and all that is evil in the world) but that he would NEVER say that to Obama's face because he's the PRESIDENT (wut?!), that gay marriage will lead to bestiality and how his "rights" are being infringed upon....
....also, just on Sunday, how he is worried I have no goodness in me because I don't have any desire to watch Pollyanna or Sound of Music.
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Okay, I take back being on Team FIL (re: Pollyanna or Sound of Music) and humbly apologize. If those were the extent of his BSC, I might be on Team FIL, because those are great movies. But he's clearly BSC beyond that. I'm team Nugget for sure.
...But you should really watch The Sound of Music.
I'll add this in, when H and I got married MIL randomly told me one night that when we were done having kids I needed to get a hysterectomy to avoid cancer. I was in shock and said no, only if a Doctor told me I needed it. I was 25 for reference. She then preceded to inform me that her son was never to get a vasectomy because if we divorced he needed to be able to move on a "whole man". I really hate this woman.
She's had quite a few over the years. But my favorites generally have to do with my son.
When she came over to see me and my son for the first time after I got out of the hospital, he started crying so I picked him up out of his rock and play. She said, "Oh, it's so wonderful that you're not afraid to hold him." I know I gave her a weird look but just kind of smiled and said "Yeah." I got him calm and asked if she wanted to hold him. She said no, she wanted to wait until my H got home. Wierd, but whatever. H got home about ten minutes later and wanted to hold his son. She told him to quit hogging the baby, she wanted to hold him. Then as she's holding him and talking about how wonderful he is she looks up at me and says "He can call me Mama, right? That's ok, isn't it? We can both be Mama." H laughed, called her crazy and told her no. I was speechless.
And one I've shared here before. We were all out to dinner for her birthday and she was was watching DS sitting in his high chair coloring. She kept telling me how precious he is and how I need to cherish every moment. Then she got choked up, tears in her eyes and said "Just you wait for the day when he loves someone more than you. That will really break your heart." And pointedly looked from me over to my H.
I am kind of getting the vibe that I am not the fave, either, because I haven't produced any grandbabies. Our relationship has tanked in the last three years--prime grandbaby time. My BFF is certain the two are connected. lol.
I get this. MIL deleted everyone on her FB and then added back SIL and BIL because she wants to see baby pictures. BIL didn't accept her friend request. lol We don't have kids, so we are of no use to her facebook feed.
She's had quite a few over the years. But my favorites generally have to do with my son.
When she came over to see me and my son for the first time after I got out of the hospital, he started crying so I picked him up out of his rock and play. She said, "Oh, it's so wonderful that you're not afraid to hold him." I know I gave her a weird look but just kind of smiled and said "Yeah." I got him calm and asked if she wanted to hold him. She said no, she wanted to wait until my H got home. Wierd, but whatever. H got home about ten minutes later and wanted to hold his son. She told him to quit hogging the baby, she wanted to hold him. Then as she's holding him and talking about how wonderful he is she looks up at me and says "He can call me Mama, right? That's ok, isn't it? We can both be Mama." H laughed, called her crazy and told her no. I was speechless.
And one I've shared here before. We were all out to dinner for her birthday and she was was watching DS sitting in his high chair coloring. She kept telling me how precious he is and how I need to cherish every moment. Then she got choked up, tears in her eyes and said "Just you wait for the day when he loves someone more than you. That will really break your heart." And pointedly looked from me over to my H.
Here is the laundry list of everything MIL said was wrong with me before she ever met me: My parents are divorced I don't have a degree I need to be more passive and submissive I'm not a nice Indian girl
The first time we met face to face she had just found out that we were living together. She said to me "My husband and I have come here to tell you that you have to leave." After an argument I left for the night and the next day H made his parents leave. That was about 12 years ago. Guess who's still here!!
The parents of the baby that she though was mine were never married. Every time we talk about the kid MIL gets this look on her face like she lost her best friend and tells me how sorry she is that the kids parents weren't married. Her look of sympathy is like this is the worst thing that could ever happen ever ever. Um, hello!! I'm thrilled that they were never married. The baby daddy is an abusive loser and I begged cousin not to marry him.
She ALWAYS says, like at least 15 times in the last ten years "oh, Patrick breastfed for 18 months. All my other kids weaned on their own but not Patrick, he just loved the breast. The doctor asked 'what are you feeding this boy?' and I said 'just the breast, he never stops eating!'.." OMG. It annoys H so much. lol
Post by deanlicker78 on Sept 10, 2013 10:33:13 GMT -5
Not something my MIL has said but something she does. She has been keeping a book ever since H divorced his exW. Seven years, people. Seven years she has been keeping track of everything H's exW has done "wrong". Just on the off chance H decides one day he wants to try and get custody of their kids. Or if something happens to H, MIL wants to try and get custody. MIL indirectly questions the kids during their visits with her and anything they mention about their mom goes in the book. Every conversation H mentions having had with his ex goes in the book. Every single scrap of info she has ever gathered for seven long years is in this book. It's actually like several books by now, I'm sure. She won't let anyone see them.
I'm pretty sure since she hates me now, I have a book somewhere in her house too.
Post by jayandemm on Sept 10, 2013 11:00:30 GMT -5
MIL once took out a life insurance policy on my baby and put herself and H as the beneficiary. When I asked her about it she said she didn't think I could handle it if W died. She claimed she was doing me a favor.
She's disabled and mentally unstable, but she threw a huge tantrum (complete with throwing things)that we wouldn't let her move in, so I could go back to work and she could babysit W. Then 30 seconds later she tells us how she fell the other day and had to use her life alert.
Before we were married, she told me she would see to it that I was hurt if I even thought about divorcing "her baby".
My MIL is really a wonderful, caring, sweet, generous woman. I really really lucked out. However, she speaks without thinking a LOT and lacks a serious filter.
One year, we were over her house for a dinner and she served a Kosher chicken so that I could eat it. Super thoughtful. At the end of the meal, she commented on how the chicken was better than non-Kosher chicken, and she didn't think she would go back to regular chicken now. "It's like when they say, once you go black...ya know?"
One night, H and I went to the ILs' house for dinner. We took separate cars because of work schedules. I got there first, and then H came in. We were sitting at the table and MIL was sitting closest to the door. H came in and said hi to everyone at the table. He kissed MIL hello, then me. MIL had this big smile on her face and turned to me and said "HA! He kissed me first."