I would die a thousand deaths if my mom showed up and started posting on ML.
WTF is going on here?
Me too.
But it seems to work for them? I recall her daughter tagging her (and the other daughter/sister) the other day in something.
Yep, my mom and sister are both on GBCN. @stalkermom is my mom and scribellesam is my sister. They followed me here through a link I unintentionally posted on my Twitter account.
Apparently our family relationship is unusual. But it works for us!
Post by sparkythelawyer on Oct 4, 2013 10:33:49 GMT -5
My Mom was a yeller, my dad is not. To this day I am still more afraid of my Dad's quiet, terse and focused explanation of just how deeply one has fucked up than the yelling.
But I also had to explain to my Mom that her yelling meant I have no patience for yellers as an adult. I do not give anyone's comments any attention if they are yelled at me. I mentally check out and go work on my grocery shopping list. Because if I listen, I am six years old and powerless all over again.
I hope I do not yell with my theoretical future children? But who knows.
Sometimes I send the girls upstairs to do something (brush teeth, clean their room, get dressed, etc.) and I KNOW they're up there fucking around instead because, well, I have ears. I get a fair bit of pleasure at the fact that when they hear my feet on the stairs, I hear a panicked, "SHE'S COMING!" and a stampede to the room they should be in.
I don't think anyone is talking about fear as in actual terror. More like filial fear, so respect and fear of disappointing someone you love. I was never scared of punishment as a kid, only of the disappointed look @stalkermom would give me if I did something wrong.
Example, I once got a 30% on a math test in middle school because I wasn't grasping the concept. I started crying hysterically in class and got sent to the Counselor. She started asking me all these questions about if my parents were going to punish me and if that's why I was crying/afraid. I was aghast, because I knew I wouldn't be in real trouble, I was upset because I thought my parents would be disappointed.
In my defense, I was never disappointed by a bad grade unless is was caused by not trying your best or laziness. The only things that could disappoint me were not trying hard or behavior unbecoming a well brought up child like being mean or ungenerous. I am, if you know me at all, exceedingly proud of both my daughters....to the point of obnoxiousness, I'm sure. (I would so tag them in this, if only I was suitably technological, but I'm not, damn it!)
Ugh, I remember being flippant about an 'F' on a math quiz in the 5th grade. *shudder.* Never again!
Sorry we creep everyone else out on ML. I think we're awesome.
But it seems to work for them? I recall her daughter tagging her (and the other daughter/sister) the other day in something.
Yep, my mom and sister are both on GBCN. @stalkermom is my mom and scribellesam is my sister. They followed me here through a link I unintentionally posted on my Twitter account.
Apparently our family relationship is unusual. But it works for us!
I'm definitely to blame for the stalking initially, then I pulled @stalkermom in and we eventually came clean after a few weeks of lurking. Sorry not sorry, I like it here now.
I cannot relate to wanting my child to fear me. I think that is *very* dangerous territory. How can a child trust you if they're afraid of you? There is everything wrong with wanting your children to be afraid of you.
I don't think anyone is talking about fear as in actual terror. More like filial fear, so respect and fear of disappointing someone you love. I was never scared of punishment as a kid, only of the disappointed look @stalkermom would give me if I did something wrong.
Example, I once got a 30% on a math test in middle school because I wasn't grasping the concept. I started crying hysterically in class and got sent to the Counselor. She started asking me all these questions about if my parents were going to punish me and if that's why I was crying/afraid. I was aghast, because I knew I wouldn't be in real trouble, I was upset because I thought my parents would be disappointed.
Thank you for understanding what I meant. Yikes. I dont beat her with a belt so she's not "afraid of me" in that sense but I think having a tiny sense of fear in disappointing me also awards me respect. Like I said, she walks alllll over DH but she would NEVER pull that stuff with me.
Sometimes I send the girls upstairs to do something (brush teeth, clean their room, get dressed, etc.) and I KNOW they're up there fucking around instead because, well, I have ears. I get a fair bit of pleasure at the fact that when they hear my feet on the stairs, I hear a panicked, "SHE'S COMING!" and a stampede to the room they should be in.
are they scared of you or the consequences yoy give them? Two totally different things.
I don't think anyone is talking about fear as in actual terror. More like filial fear, so respect and fear of disappointing someone you love. I was never scared of punishment as a kid, only of the disappointed look @stalkermom would give me if I did something wrong.
Example, I once got a 30% on a math test in middle school because I wasn't grasping the concept. I started crying hysterically in class and got sent to the Counselor. She started asking me all these questions about if my parents were going to punish me and if that's why I was crying/afraid. I was aghast, because I knew I wouldn't be in real trouble, I was upset because I thought my parents would be disappointed.
Thank you for understanding what I meant. Yikes. I dont beat her with a belt so she's not "afraid of me" in that sense but I think having a tiny sense of fear in disappointing me also awards me respect. Like I said, she walks alllll over DH but she would NEVER pull that stuff with me.
that's not fear of you. That seems like respect more than fear. That I can relate to.