incognito you bring up a great point. It's other kids you have to worry about, too. I'm assuming it would be impractical for a courthouse to require vaccine proof, etc, and there might be lots of behavior issues from kiddos under lots of stress.
It's moot for me because I'm aware of no such option in STL. There wasn't when I was called for duty.
As to babies vs. actual newborns, my kid was a giant pain in the ass all through infancy (let's be honest, he still is). He was certainly a candidate for being shaken to bits, because God knows I had to set him down screaming and go take deep breaths outside on many occasions.
Point being that a baby, especially a fussy one that won't drink bottles, is still vulnerable past the head wobbly stage, and I get not wanting to leave them with a stranger for an unforeseeable number of long days of jury duty.
Except kids in your child's school or DC can exempt out so, how is this different? Dumb parents not vaccinating happen everywhere (I understand some can't get the vaccine so calm before jumping on my statement) so why is this different? Why are mothers soooo preshus they can't do this? I usually think it is an annoyance to be called, but I am trying to change that for sure.
Whoa, I'm just coming back to the thread to pick up on page 3 where I left off. 26 muthafuckin pages? Please say it turned into a funny gif thread...
tef, I see your point here for an older baby or kid, though not for a newborn. Newborns are the least vaccinated among us and typically don't go to a school or daycare yet.
I'm hoping when I skim this monster thread I'll find out whether Lee's Summit even HAS courthouse daycare. Or did this blow up over hypotheticals?
Except kids in your child's school or DC can exempt out so, how is this different? Â Dumb parents not vaccinating happen everywhere (I understand some can't get the vaccine so calm before jumping on my statement) so why is this different? Â Why are mothers soooo preshus they can't do this? Â I usually think it is an annoyance to be called, but I am trying to change that for sure.
Whoa, I'm just coming back to the thread to pick up on page 3 where I left off. 26 muthafuckin pages? Please say it turned into a funny gif thread...
tef, I see your point here for an older baby or kid, though not for a newborn. Newborns are the least vaccinated among us and typically don't go to a school or daycare yet.
I'm hoping when I skim this monster thread I'll find out whether Lee's Summit even HAS courthouse daycare. Or did this blow up over hypotheticals?
Marylander signing in, I've never been called in all my 13 years of being an official resident here. If you are in certain counties are you more/less likely? Marylanders, weigh in!
ETA - DH has never either and he's been a MD resident his whole 36 years of life
I don't currently live in MD, but I did live in Mont Co for about three years. So far that is the only time I have been called for jury duty. I was called the same day as one of my friends and we ended up in the same jury pool. In the end they dismissed her and I got selected for the trial.
I wish I lived in one of these places with tons of stay at home moms that were happy to exchange child care and spend lots of time together every week. this thread is making me really depressed because I thought that was what SAHM life might be like and it is not at all despite my best efforts.
I live in an upper middle class town and moms simply are not interested in exchanging child care. I have been a part of several playgrouos and they have all fizzled out over time as people started signing their toddlers up for preschool 5 mornings a week in addition to art and music and whatever else. Now that my older son is approaching 3, most of the moms I have met over time (no friends really, but many acquaintances) have had a second child and would now really not be able to take on my two kids for a day.
I really don't understand this attitude of COME ON! Of course you SAHMs are all friends and trade child care and surely you can find somebody! People post on these forums all of the time talking about how hard it is to make friends as an adult, and I can assure you that in many places it is very difficult to make friends as a SAHM too.
I'm lucky. If push came to shove I could throw money at the problem and could figure out some sort of verified nanny (agency?), but I think the people posting about how a SAHM must have options must be really out of touch with modern parenting "communities" in many places.
Well I think the point is that between day care, babysitters, family, friends, and neighbors its hard to imagine not being able to get a sitter at all especially a month in advance.
SERIOUSLY, finally, I'm on page 15 and this is the point of the entire thread.
So not all SAHMs can live near family. And not all have other SAHM friends. And not all have spouses who can take either paid or unpaid time off from work to watch the child while they plead their case to the judge. And not all can afford to hire a babysitter to come with them or figure out some kind of trade in kind.
But ALL OF THOSE THINGS? How many people do all of those things apply to? Maybe like 312 in the entire country? And if they do all apply to you, you'd better get your jury duty done while 7 months pregnant. Because, again, if you're called up when you have an infant you can PROBABLY get a deferral.
Also, explain this "won't take a bottle" thing. That seems awfully inconvenient if you work and don't have on-site child care. Please don't tell me I'll be forced to quit my job in the future if my child only wants to suck from the breast.
Also, explain this "won't take a bottle" thing. That seems awfully inconvenient if you work and don't have on-site child care. Please don't tell me I'll be forced to quit my job in the future if my child only wants to suck from the breast.
It can suck, but babies will eventually take a bottle. You have to try with different nipples, different bottles, not having the mom feed them, getting them used to a new situation, blah blah blah, but they all eventually take a bottle.
Also, explain this "won't take a bottle" thing. That seems awfully inconvenient if you work and don't have on-site child care. Please don't tell me I'll be forced to quit my job in the future if my child only wants to suck from the breast.
It can suck, but babies will eventually take a bottle. You have to try with different nipples, different bottles, not having the mom feed them, getting them used to a new situation, blah blah blah, but they all eventually take a bottle.
It's not something you want to try to work out in a matter of days or even weeks however.
Also, explain this "won't take a bottle" thing. That seems awfully inconvenient if you work and don't have on-site child care. Please don't tell me I'll be forced to quit my job in the future if my child only wants to suck from the breast.
Eviently my sister wouldn't take a bottle so my mom was all, "good luck with that baby girl," when she went back to work. I guess she eventually accepted reality and took a bottle.
Also, explain this "won't take a bottle" thing. That seems awfully inconvenient if you work and don't have on-site child care. Please don't tell me I'll be forced to quit my job in the future if my child only wants to suck from the breast.
It can suck, but babies will eventually take a bottle. You have to try with different nipples, different bottles, not having the mom feed them, getting them used to a new situation, blah blah blah, but they all eventually take a bottle.
Most babies will eventually take to something. A bottle, a sippy cup, a syringe, something while mom is gone. A very few will remain stubborn and nurse all night long instead and get their milk then (that happened to someone I knew and it was really tough for her; long work days then a cosleeping, nursing all night baby), but usually they'll eventually give in and drink from something.
In LA county they only let you defer 3 months. I did once for some reason, like school or travel or it being my birthday or something dumb. The system is such that you have to call in every night for a week. Whaddayaknow, when my deferral time came up, I was called to actually go in at 7:30 in the fucking morning.
We sat in the big pen after a judge explained the importance of civic duty as they called people out. We went to lunch for an hour and a half. After that I was called into voir dire for a civil trial that would have taken THIRTY DAYS. Some woman worked for the gov't and had unlimited paid jury days, so she was thrilled to do it. I lamed out and told them (truthfully) that I had travel plans in October. Basically, the judge was nice and realized that a 30 day trial was shitty for a lot of people, but we were told that the judge didn't HAVE to let you off duty for any reason (although there were some issues you could address in your form beforehand). Anyway, I was let go and we were sent home around 4. And thus concluded my jury service, but only for a year. And really? There are about 12 million people in LA County and you can be called up every YEAR?
Also, my dad used to work for the transit authority doing accident investigation so her knew a bunch of law enforcement officers and his cousin was married to the assistant DA, so he was always excused.
My husband was on a 6 day DUI trial. WTF did they talk about for 6 days?
And finally, I got a jury summons a month after I moved to PA. The summons was from NY. I hadn't lived in NY for 10 years, since I had just moved to PA FROM CALIFORNIA. It was my parents' county, which I used as a permanent address in college, but I never actually lived there.
Also, explain this "won't take a bottle" thing. That seems awfully inconvenient if you work and don't have on-site child care. Please don't tell me I'll be forced to quit my job in the future if my child only wants to suck from the breast.
I'll take a shot at explaining. Mine had colic and GERD and he just sucked in general and would not take a damn bottle. I SAH but had some grad classes at night. I was gone from the house for about 4 hours at a time for class. I would call at break and try to talk my husband off the cliff while the kid wailed in the background. Getting hungrier just made it worse, he was inconsolable and probably in pain and gassy from the crying. We tried about a dozen types of nipples/bottles, syringe feeding, cup feeding. My milk also had the weird thing where it tasted like soap after you pump it, and I never figured out how to scald it enough to counteract it. Someone here knows what I'm talking about, yes? Starts with an L?
Anywho, I'd arrive home at 10pm to a hysterical baby who was sort of ruined for the night and I'd nurse/console him for a couple hours until I just stopped caring, put in earplugs, and let him CIO.
I had no family in town, no SAH friends (at the time, but I do now), and by the time I realized I needed and deserved occasional professional child care help, I was too deep in depression to do anything but cry, glare at my baby and watch bad tv all day. None of this was about not wanting to leave my preshus or worrying about germs.
When #2 came along however? Started Anti-depression meds the day he was born and had his ass in a local church "Kid's Day Out" program by 6 weeks old and ran out the door yelling "Freedom!"
He wasn't great with a bottle, either, but he could wait a few hours without coming unglued like my first.
I know in theory "they won't let themselves starve," but mine would have. Started life at the 90th% and dropped to -3%. Maybe it's the autism and accompanying sensory issues. But I swear to you we TRIED with the bottles, starting the first week home.
Also, explain this "won't take a bottle" thing. That seems awfully inconvenient if you work and don't have on-site child care. Please don't tell me I'll be forced to quit my job in the future if my child only wants to suck from the breast.
It can suck, but babies will eventually take a bottle. You have to try with different nipples, different bottles, not having the mom feed them, getting them used to a new situation, blah blah blah, but they all eventually take a bottle.
Ha! I beg to differ. Ben NEVER took a bottle. I went back to work when he was eight months old (part time out of the house, part time from home). DH was also working from home then. I would be gone every day for 4-6 hours and when I'd get back, DH would be pacing around with a screaming, starving Ben. Every.single.day. Stubborn little fucker never took a bottle, no matter what we did.
You ladies are making me so glad I never let one of my kids suck the teet.
App like. If I could go back, I never would nurse DS1. He is the outlier for all things BFing. Child-led weaning? Lol. He was worse than little Lord Robert. It was not good.
Wow. I always thought babies who didn't take bottles had them introduced too late for them to adapt. I see I am wrong.
Maybe. We didn't try a bottle with Ben until three months or so, because we were afraid of 'nipple confusion'. Ha! I'm convinced that's really a myth. The lactation consultant said to introduce a bottle at three weeks this time. I will NOT go through that again with this baby.
im pissed at these Baltimore residents who were called once! it's my screen name origin, huh? dang you O'malley!!
H got called once and actually made it to voir dire before it came out he was a lawyer in town lol. He was so.pissed. He considered jury duty "research" for his jury trials lol.
The last time I got summoned for jury duty I ended up in a courtroom with a fellow DA who is my mortal enemy. I hate that biznatch and the feeling is mutual. She tried to get rid of me asap, because she knew I'd probably be in favor of the defense because we hate each other so much. Despite knowing her, the court clerk, all of the police officer witnesses, & having a strong idea add to the nature of the case, I still didn't get excused right away by the judge.
She ended up losing the case even without me on the jury.
You know, we were tentatively planning to try for a third and final baby in a few months, and I may have just talked myself out of it by conjuring up these memories of my first. Really.
Post by statlerwaldorf on Oct 22, 2013 0:03:22 GMT -5
My dd was one of those babies that wouldn't take a bottle. I had a lot of problems keeping my supply up, so I waited a long time to introduce a bottle. I think she was around 8 months old. I never could get her to drink out of a bottle or regular sippy cup. Eventually she started drinking out of a straw cup, but she was over a year old by that point.
Post by penguingrrl on Oct 22, 2013 7:34:17 GMT -5
Eh, I do believe nipple confusion happens. My first was given a bottle before she could nurse (I was too sick from c-section drugs to hold her for 12+ hours). Despite the efforts of 3 different LCs she never took to nursing, so I EPed for 6 months then sucked it up and put her on formula.
Emma EBF, introed bottles at 6 weeks and she gladly took either.
Drew EBF, we introed bottles at 3 or 4 weeks. He very gladly took them until 3.5 months and has flat out refused them since. He went 7 hours without eating the day before his Christening because MIL was babysitting and he decided he'd rather starve than take a bottle. A few weeks ago I was gone all day at a wedding and he took 3 oz all day, but he's on solids so MIL just fed him more solids than his usual and he was fine.
Parenting is hard. And because of circumstances is can be VERY hard for some. I get that.
But damn. The internet makes it seem like parenting is the hardest thing EVER for just about everyone. How has our species made it this long?
I think sometimes we make it much harder than it needs to be.
I'm not a parent yet, but I'm already feeling for those without children who feel like they have to sacrifice for the sanctimony of parents. My friend was talking to me on the phone yesterday, saying she was super tired. I was like, "Yeah, I'm feeling pretty tired today myself." She was then all apologetic, like of course I am tired because I am gestating! She doesn't have anything to complain about compared to me! I was like, "It's cool, more than one person can be tired. You're allowed to be busy and express the fact that you're tired."
It's fine. I'm tired, but I'm probably going to live. And I'm not the only person who has ever been pregnant and tired.
This is nothing. It's the parents who leave work early for a soccer game or dentist appointment and dump their work on the childless, causing them to cancel personal plans of their own that really aren't that important because they don't involve children that piss me off to no end.
Not that I ever personally experienced this repeatedly or anything.
Parenting is hard. And because of circumstances is can be VERY hard for some. I get that.
But damn. The internet makes it seem like parenting is the hardest thing EVER for just about everyone. How has our species made it this long?
I think sometimes we make it much harder than it needs to be.
I'm not a parent yet, but I'm already feeling for those without children who feel like they have to sacrifice for the sanctimony of parents. My friend was talking to me on the phone yesterday, saying she was super tired. I was like, "Yeah, I'm feeling pretty tired today myself." She was then all apologetic, like of course I am tired because I am gestating! She doesn't have anything to complain about compared to me! I was like, "It's cool, more than one person can be tired. You're allowed to be busy and express the fact that you're tired."
It's fine. I'm tired, but I'm probably going to live. And I'm not the only person who has ever been pregnant and tired.
I have a colleague who does that all the time. She will start to vent about being tired and then apologize because she doesn't have kids and I have a baby. Its sweet and all, but I keep reminding her that she's allowed to be tired too.
I will never, ever apologize for feeling tired even though I don't have kids.
I'm still human, dammit! I have needs!
And you shouldn't!
I mean really there is always someone who has more to do than you. My aunt has 6 boys ten years apart. Because of that I can never be tired? Um no. Or because Obama has a pretty darn stressful job I can never really be stressed about my job? Of course not!
I will never, ever apologize for feeling tired even though I don't have kids.
I'm still human, dammit! I have needs!
And you shouldn't!
I mean really there is always someone who has more to do than you. My aunt has 6 boys ten years apart. Because of that I can never be tired? Um no. Or because Obama has a pretty darn stressful job I can never really be stressed about my job? Of course not!
What about the troops, irish? WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE TROOPS?
My husband once posted a generic vent about work on FB. His dad's cousin chimed in with some bullshit about stop whining, you could have been in the military for 20 years, or something like that. Her husband spent 20 years in the Air Force as a meterologist and never once saw combat. But somehow his service meant that my husband could never complain? F that. I kind of loved it when a friend of ours chimed in and said, "I don't know you, but I did 2 tours in Iraq, and I still think everyone has a right to be pissed when his boss is an asshole or his coworker microwaves fish in the office."