What do you find the most scandalous in the flameful

[noodleskooze]

The most scandalous thing in my mind was the rats. Not the killing--the idea of having to BUY rats and transport them in my car and willingly have them in my home. NO.

[Linie]

Dec 12, 2013 13:06:14 GMT -5 intentionalsnarkshark said:

Dec 12, 2013 13:02:28 GMT -5 Linie said:

I will take all the flames, but please do not refer to Danielle Steel! lol !

And, for the record, it is not mud

How's about E. L. James?

I wouldn't know, I have NOT read any of these so-called books.

Anaïs Nin, perhaps?

[Captain Serious]

Dec 12, 2013 13:15:22 GMT -5 loonylunalovegood said:

Dec 12, 2013 13:07:56 GMT -5 Captain Serious said:

You sound like you may be rolling in the dough, but I wouldn't want your life for a second. You have so many family issues that its hard to keep up with it all. You should be Captain Doormat, not Captain Serious. 

This is the main family issue.  Other than that, just typical aging parent stuff.

The main thing in my life that stinks is our fight with the school district, and I don't consider that a family issue.  My nuclear family is awesome.

The money didn't create these problems (except maybe the inlaws looking to us for support), and it won't make them go away, but it does make it nice that I don't have to worry about finances while I'm paying medical, therapy, and lawyer bills.

[sugarbear]

Dec 12, 2013 12:27:40 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

I guess the rat killing thing. Thats so sad.

With people who judge the house thing, im not being snarky I'm just asking but isnt foreclosure the same thing? You stop making payments on the house. Is foreclosure judgeworthy? The recession hit people really hard, there have been a few times where I was on the brink of not being able to afford the house. We couldn't sell it so its renting but its been close a few times.

And do we judge foreclosure differently than short-selling? I copped to short-selling and I know I'm judged for it. I'm just curious if people see the two differently.

[jane6672]

My grandmother used to read Danielle Steele, but she felt guilty about it.

She told me "Don't read them yourself, they aren't very appropriate. It's okay for an older woman. I don't really pay attention to the bad parts."

Ooookay, grandmother.

[mrsgoontz]

Dec 12, 2013 13:23:58 GMT -5 jane6672 said:

My grandmother used to read Danielle Steele, but she felt guilty about it.

She told me "Don't read them yourself, they aren't very appropriate. It's okay for an older woman. I don't really pay attention to the bad parts."

Ooookay, grandmother.

I caught my 88 year old Nana reading 50 Shades of Grey and she goes "I had no idea the kind of stuff you kids are into these days....but back IN MY DAY we didn't do things like *this*" and goes back to reading the book very intently. 

[starlily]

Dec 12, 2013 12:59:21 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

Dec 12, 2013 12:53:29 GMT -5 starlily said:

There's a world of difference between legitimately bring unable to afford your home and choosing to stop paying your mortgage which you can afford because your home lost too much value. The latter is what people are judging.

But how do people know which one applied to the poster? Did she post about it in the past? I can never remember everything.

When I hear "walked away" it implies a choice to me, especially in the context of a flameful thread. Otherwise why not just say foreclosure or short sale?

[iamali]

Dec 12, 2013 13:02:08 GMT -5 romymichele said:

Dec 12, 2013 12:57:06 GMT -5 mofongo said:

She's had a generous amount of lovers, though. lol

God, I live such a boring life. No lovers, no bonuses, no Altimas.

Get a snake - walla!

[CurlyQ284]

Dec 12, 2013 13:55:02 GMT -5 freedom said:

Dec 12, 2013 13:53:35 GMT -5 starlily said:

When I hear "walked away" it implies a choice to me, especially in the context of a flameful thread. Otherwise why not just say foreclosure or short sale?

Usually walked away is after two years of living there rent free.

Two years?! Wow.

DH has a cousin who married a guy from another country. They up and moved to his country leaving the house, it wasn't working out so they moved back a year later and somehow were able to move back into their old house and resume payments.

Sometimes i can't believe these things take so long.

[coribelle26]

Dec 12, 2013 13:28:22 GMT -5 intentionalsnarkshark said:

Dec 12, 2013 13:23:58 GMT -5 jane6672 said:

My grandmother used to read Danielle Steele, but she felt guilty about it.

She told me "Don't read them yourself, they aren't very appropriate. It's okay for an older woman. I don't really pay attention to the bad parts."

Ooookay, grandmother.

When I was a preteen I read the shit out of my mom's romance novels. Oh the things I learned.

I got insanely proficient at identifying sex lead-up and aftermath in Harlequin romance novels because I only had so much time before my parents would get home and I'd have to put my mom's stash back where I found it, so I had to zero in on the sex scenes as quickly as possible.  Sadly this has not proven to be a marketable skill.

[Captain Serious]

Dec 12, 2013 13:58:39 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Dec 12, 2013 13:15:22 GMT -5 loonylunalovegood said:

You sound like you may be rolling in the dough, but I wouldn't want your life for a second. You have so many family issues that its hard to keep up with it all. You should be Captain Doormat, not Captain Serious. 

Ouch.  This is pretty harsh.

Eh, I get it, Lucy. In all my years here and on the knot/nest, I have avoided money conversations. I mention it once, in relevant context of a story, and everyone takes it as me bragging. So, clearly, the only rightful thing for some is to try to knock me for it now. Whatever.

[Deleted]

My SIL/BIL going through the crazy divorce and he stopped paying the mortgage 3 years ago. She kicked him out and lived there rent free for 3 years. Her name is not even on the house. It finally just got foreclosed on, and the bank gave her $20k to leave the property. This was contingent upon her taking her shit out of the house, and putting the trash that she had thrown off of the balcony for the last 3 months in a dumpster.

Seems fair.

[pantsparty]

Some of the judginess with short sale/foreclosure/moving out is definitely jealousy. Like damn, must be nice to not pay rent or a mortgage for any period if time but still have a place to live. I wouldn't want the credit hit, but it would be awesome to free up that money.

[pantsparty]

Dec 12, 2013 14:11:52 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I'm also annoyed because booby can have her mortgage paid off, and stpete can have cars bought for her; but captain serious's bonus is TOTALLY BRAGGING, YOU GUYS, I WOULDN'T WANT HER LIFE.

They're all bragging. 

[pantsparty]

Dec 12, 2013 14:12:36 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Dec 12, 2013 14:09:26 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

Some of the judginess with short sale/foreclosure/moving out is definitely jealousy. Like damn, must be nice to not pay rent or a mortgage for any period if time but still have a place to live. I wouldn't want the credit hit, but it would be awesome to free up that money.

Well, technically, we can all do it. lol. I'm sure it's great, until you LOSE YOUR HOUSE:)

Whatever MOFUCKO. I want to do it WITHOUT losing my house and WITHOUT consequences! Is that so much to ask?

[Captain Serious]

Dec 12, 2013 14:07:38 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Dec 12, 2013 14:04:01 GMT -5 Captain Serious said:

Eh, I get it, Lucy. In all my years here and on the knot/nest, I have avoided money conversations. I mention it once, in relevant context of a story, and everyone takes it as me bragging. So, clearly, the only rightful thing for some is to try to knock me for it now. Whatever.

You rub me the wrong way sometimes, but I still like you even if you're a rich bitch sitting on piles of money lighting smokes with Benjamins. 

lol.

Fair enough.  I would be surprised if I didn't annoy everyone sometimes.  I've always been a bit too blunt for my own good, and don't always say things as nicely as I should.

[themoneytree]

Dec 12, 2013 14:16:28 GMT -5 loonylunalovegood said:

Dec 12, 2013 14:14:19 GMT -5 Que? said:

You sound like you may be rolling in the dough, but I wouldn't want your life for a second. You have so many family issues that its hard to keep up with it all. You should be Captain Doormat, not Captain Serious. 

Oh, ffs. Really? Ok, whatever you need to tell yourself to make it feel better that she has more money than you.

That was a really fucking bitchy thing to say.

Please see above. It's not the money, its the family. [/quote]


It doesn't really matter what it was, it's still not the nicest thing to say to someone.

[themoneytree]

Dec 12, 2013 14:17:41 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Dec 12, 2013 14:11:52 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I'm also annoyed because booby can have her mortgage paid off, and stpete can have cars bought for her; but captain serious's bonus is TOTALLY BRAGGING, YOU GUYS, I WOULDN'T WANT HER LIFE.

I understand her sentiment and sympathize. In fact, my H's bonus last year was less than we expected. Granted, it's not a huge part of his salary but it's still a good bonus. I think what was odd was sharing the amount. Her story would have been just as meaningful without it. 'Man, H's bonus was so much less than anticipated, it's a large chunk of his salary and money we count on for the future'. The amount just served no purpose.

Booby's mortgage could have been 10K or 900K, it was never mentioned.

I feel like the amount of the mortgage is relevant. Lol. @booby?

[Captain Serious]

Dec 12, 2013 14:13:27 GMT -5 loonylunalovegood said:

Dec 12, 2013 14:04:01 GMT -5 Captain Serious said:

Eh, I get it, Lucy. In all my years here and on the knot/nest, I have avoided money conversations. I mention it once, in relevant context of a story, and everyone takes it as me bragging. So, clearly, the only rightful thing for some is to try to knock me for it now. Whatever.

No its not the money that I'm flaming. Its the way you let your family walk all over you and it doesn't seem like your H cares. His parents live with you after they walked away from their mortgage. Is it your sister, or your H's brother, whatever? They live in your second home rent free, moved you out of the master bedroom and your H doesn't say a word. I just know that I would not be able to put up with what you do regarding your family no matter home much money my H makes. Its not worth it. They're sucking you dry and your H is letting them. 

No, no, no, no, no!  It's only my BIL and his family (SIL and nephew) who are living in our home, and it's only in our second home (ski house), and not with us day-to-day.  I used in-laws as short hand for BIL and SIL.

As for my husband not saying anything, he did after Thanksgiving.  I didn't post about it, because I'm hoping to do a big, "They are finally out!" post in January.  He told them we might have to move sooner than expected (which is actually somewhat true), and that we'd like them to seriously look for a place now.  He also told his mother to start bugging them, which she is.  She told him we've been generous enough, and has been hounding BIL and SIL since, going so far as telling them they'd love to help them move when they are visiting after Christmas.  SIL looked at two places already, and we're really hoping they get out in January, so we can enjoy our ski house alone this winter.

[Jermys]

I like Capt. Serious and don't judge the bonus thing. If H's bonus was cut short, I would be PISSED. That's freaking college money in this house, and I'm planning on at least Harvard law for Freddie because he's wicked smaht.  I do think she gets totally fucked by her H regarding her ILs, and that's wholly unacceptable.

ETA: I just saw her post above mine, and I am really happy that he said something!  

[Deleted]

I'm enjoying the back and forth with Que and Loona, but I'm reminded of the time when Que accused me of being jealous of Jehc.

[bonquiqui]

Dec 12, 2013 14:23:11 GMT -5 05heel said:

I'm enjoying the back and forth with Que and Loona, but I'm reminded of the time when Que accused me of being jealous of Jehc.

Did either of you APOLOGIZE or evaluate yourselves?

[sugarbear]

Dec 12, 2013 14:09:26 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

Some of the judginess with short sale/foreclosure/moving out is definitely jealousy. Like damn, must be nice to not pay rent or a mortgage for any period if time but still have a place to live. I wouldn't want the credit hit, but it would be awesome to free up that money.

Well, sure, when people are taking advantage.

In our case, DH was laid off for 9 months and I had a spinal surgery and crappy insurance. We moved into a house that my parents owned and listed the condo (we continued to pay the mortgage). It didn't sell for a year, so we rented it out and banked the rent money and, with the advice of our realtor and an attorney, stopped paying the mortgage because that's the only way to convince the bank to agree to a short sale. They finally agreed and we made a lump sum payment of the rent money we'd collected and saved, which was still considerably less than what we owed (which we still owe taxes on).

[speckledfrog]

Dec 12, 2013 14:20:26 GMT -5 Que? said:

Dec 12, 2013 14:16:28 GMT -5 loonylunalovegood said:

Oh, ffs. Really? Ok, whatever you need to tell yourself to make it feel better that she has more money than you.

That was a really fucking bitchy thing to say.

Please see above. It's not the money, its the family.

Lol, keep telling yourself that. Your evidence post just makes you sound bitter. Seriously, you don't have to do this. Someone can have more than you and be happy, it's possible. You can convince yourself all you want that she has a miserable life but that won't change you, which could probably use some work right now.

I like how the quotes are broken and it looks like loony if flaming Que.

[coribelle26]

Dec 12, 2013 14:11:52 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I'm also annoyed because booby can have her mortgage paid off, and stpete can have cars bought for her; but captain serious's bonus is TOTALLY BRAGGING, YOU GUYS, I WOULDN'T WANT HER LIFE.

Gifts from dad/boyfriend vs. earning it herself?

I could hop on an examination of patriarchy today.  It's too cold to go outside, anyway.

ETA: Wait!  Backstory fail!  It's the husband's bonus, isn't it? Whoops. 

[themoneytree]

Dec 12, 2013 14:24:55 GMT -5 @booby said:

yes, i was flamed for noting that my parents paid off what was left on my mortgage. BUT, more people gave me the fist pump. and I WAS TOTALLY bragging. it's not like i can talk about this kind of stuff irl. the nest is my outlet for this type of conversation.

themoneytree -- it was about $120K (that was the balance after we had been making the payments ourselves for about 10 years).

Wow. I'm glad I don't have your life! ; )

Seriously, good for you. No mortgage is awesome no matter how you get there.

[Booze Raccoon]

I am seriously disturbed by the rat killing.  I understand that snakes eat rodents but she uses her bare hands to kill another living creature.  It somehow makes it more upsetting to me.  

[W.T.Faulkner]

Whatever, I'm glad I'm not all you guys.

I don't even HAVE a mortgage...

...or a husband...

....or a bonus.

[Deleted]

Dec 12, 2013 14:24:20 GMT -5 bonquiqui said:

Dec 12, 2013 14:23:11 GMT -5 05heel said:

I'm enjoying the back and forth with Que and Loona, but I'm reminded of the time when Que accused me of being jealous of Jehc.

Did either of you APOLOGIZE or evaluate yourselves?

I was asked to evaluate myself. I chose not to.

[luckyval]

Dec 12, 2013 14:26:56 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

Whatever, I'm glad I'm not all you guys.

I don't even HAVE a mortgage...

...or a husband...

....or a bonus.

And see how much easier it is to manage your gbcn persona?