Boyfriend surprised me with a card and left over Christmas flowers. I was kind of disappointed. I guess I expected more. Do you remember your 1 yr dating anniversary? Did your SO do anythiny special?
Aw. I'm sorry you're disappointed.
We were kind of a special snowflake, lol. On our 1 yr. dating anniversary, we were 3 months married and just found out that we were expecting. I think we mentioned the occasion to each other but that was about it.
Even if by your definition, I was cheating on my XH, who cares. He was a freaking asshole, as every female on this site has stated and agreed upon. He treated me like shit and used me. I was leaving regardless of BF. I just happened to meet BF in the process of leaving XH. It was completely coincidental.
Post by greenapple on Dec 30, 2013 10:17:06 GMT -5
You are justifying something that cannot be justified. I'm terribly sorry your exH treated you poorly. I haven't lurked long enough to know what he did to you. If he did treat you as bad as you say, bad enough to walk away from a marriage and having your young son full time, then certainly you would have been wise to take some time for you to figure out what you needed to fix so you didn't end up with another a-hole.
The mere fact you are relying on a "tit for tat" mentality speaks volumes. Your exH being an ass doesn't give you a pass for emotionally engaging with a man you said yourself you left your exH for.
Relationships that begin as affairs are much harder. It's a totally different dynamic. The entitlement runs deep and until you fix that you will always get used flowers and wonder why you aren't valued enough to get more.
And could you remind me again what "work out the schooling issue" means?
I legitimately want to know where things stand here. I hope you guys came to a rational and stable agreement, evee.
XH and I both agree that we want DS to continue his schooling in XH's county. I'm already seeing a big difference with DS with his academics. I keep DS every weekend and all summer long. XH keeps him on school days.
We got engaged on our 1 year anniversary so I got a ring and he got a BJ. We had also gone out for a steak dinner earlier that night so it checked all the 1 year dateaversary boxes.
You are justifying something that cannot be justified. I'm terribly sorry your exH treated you poorly. I haven't lurked long enough to know what he did to you. If he did treat you as bad as you say, bad enough to walk away from a marriage and having your young son full time, then certainly you would have been wise to take some time for you to figure out what you needed to fix so you didn't end up with another a-hole.
The mere fact you are relying on a "tit for tat" mentality speaks volumes. Your exH being an ass doesn't give you a pass for emotionally engaging with a man you said yourself you left your exH for.
Relationships that begin as affairs are much harder. It's a totally different dynamic. The entitlement runs deep and until you fix that you will always get used flowers and wonder why you aren't valued enough to get more.
greenapple is giving @cse1960 a run for her money with this advice!
I legitimately want to know where things stand here. I hope you guys came to a rational and stable agreement, evee.
XH and I both agree that we want DS to continue his schooling in XH's county. I'm already seeing a big difference with DS with his academics. I keep DS every weekend and all summer long. XH keeps him on school days.
Couldn't you move to his county and see him more?
Didn't you just throw a huge party for your BF too? Like with kegs and food?
Post by schitzengiggles on Dec 30, 2013 10:28:21 GMT -5
I think we did dinner and he got me roses/jewelry. I am sure I got him something but cannot remember what. However, our dating anniversary was Valentine's day, too. So I am not sure if we would have celebrated 1 year quite like that if it hadn't also been Valentine's day.
I'm sure he gave you flowers he stole off someone's grave to THROW YOU OFF since he is PLANNING ON PROPOSING and he doesn't even KNOW about the accidental on purpose PREGNANCY.
I thought you were trying to get him to go back to FSDB?
After seeing how much he's improved in his new school, I agree with ExH that his current school is better for him. It took me a bit to accept it, but ExH was right about the schooling.
Post by greenapple on Dec 30, 2013 10:31:03 GMT -5
You are deflecting that everybody else is making up crap. You don't know when your marriage ended? Even if you don't remember the dates you did say you left your now exH for your BF. So you either were engaging with him (your BF) in some fashion or you were using him so you didn't have to be alone. Either way you are on a hard road if you want this to work. IMO that is what you should be working on now that a year has passed.