I was in a situation similar to yours. Pre-e, induced at 37 weeks, and an briefly extended hospital stay. My baby wouldn't latch either. The LC had me start pumping right away. I know that your said before you didn't get to attempt bfing right away either. Since the beginning it has been a struggle to produce enough. My baby is older than yours but he is a big eater. I haven't been able to keep up with him so we supplement when needed.
We never really got bfing. I pump, 7-8 times a day probably 20ish minutes each time. I continue to do it because I know that any amount that I can give him is good for him.
I wasn't quite as low as a producer as you but I was close and I have worked and worked and tried about everything I have seen suggested to up my supply. So far I have tried - a manual pump (fail), fenugreek (good for a while), oatmeal (the best so far), power pumping (not great), increasing pumping sessions to every 2 hours (good - I only did this for a couple of days) and renting a hospital grade pump (great), lactation cookies (okay).
Give it a week. Or give it 2 more days. Whatever you can do. Make a small goal for yourself and when you reach it reassess things.
The most frustrating thing is when people who have had no issues constantly ask if you've tried xyz. I tried every fucking thing. Oatmeal, water, lactation cookies, hospital grade pump, hand expressing, nipple shield, fenugreek (all that did was make me stink). NOTHING worked. I'm getting irritated just thinking about it. Lol.
I'm angry just reading about people with four ounces in here.
Seriously.
i got way better help at LLL than i did from an LC who charged me $239 an hour. Â also, both of my LLL leaders combo fed bm and formula. Â LLL isnt' the birkenstock boob nazis everybody thinks they are. Â i'm just saying that IF you are looking for a good resource, they're an internationally recognized good resource. Â
again, average mom gets 1 oz per session from both sides combined. Â
I will just also second the LLL. I was really scared to go because you hear horror stories. I finally went when Henry was 8 weeks or so and I wish I had gone sooner. There were three leaders at the meeting I went to. One I wanted to punch in her smug face but the other two were so amazingly helpful and kind and patient. I really think if I had gone sooner I would have been successful.
I know this always sounds condescending (at least I thought it did) but do what is best for you and for misotiny. You love her and will feed her and that is all that matters. And if any of that made you want to punch in my smug face I will totally take it.
Post by Mrs. ChanandlerBong on Feb 10, 2014 18:22:12 GMT -5
Can I tell you that all I wanted was someone who would tell me it was ok to stop? And no one did. It was all "do this, try that, I can fill a gallon container, what's wrong with you/your pump/your diet, etc.
So I'm going to say it.
It's ok to stop. I would give anything to have that time with my kids back at that stage and have me be happy than to remember it the way I do.
Huge hugs, lady. Whatever you decide to do, Misotiny will be a healthy girl.
Maybe this place is hurting more than helping...pumping isn't fun for ANY of us that have had to do it.
Help us understand what you want support with her - tips for producing more milk or that it's ok to move on to FF? I'm pretty sure no matter what, you'll have a ton of support no matter what you choose.
I'm predominantly interested in hearing from people who have had similar difficulties and how they coped, whether they ultimately found breast-feeding and/or pumping success or went to exclusively formula-feeding.
I am NOT interested in hearing from people who did NOT have difficulties and just want to tell me to eat this or take that or do this or that WHEN THEY HAD NO PROBLEMS THEMSELVES.
Ok, got it. Unfortunatly you picked a board full of busy bodies who like to overshare
I fucking struggled through BF'ing for 9 months with my first kid and 7 months with my second because I had to avoid dairy and eggs due to food allergies (which greatly impacted my supply, which was low anyway.) In hindsight, I wish I would have given myself permission to stop after I went back to work because it took a toll of my mental health and I was fucking exhausted all the time.
That's my story. Your well being is more important than whether your baby is EBF v. FF, I promise promise promise.
The most frustrating thing is when people who have had no issues constantly ask if you've tried xyz. I tried every fucking thing. Oatmeal, water, lactation cookies, hospital grade pump, hand expressing, nipple shield, fenugreek (all that did was make me stink). NOTHING worked. I'm getting irritated just thinking about it. Lol.
OMG YES! This still makes me so fucking angry.
And then having them reply "oh, well that always worked for me". Great!
Every three hours for 15 minutes, per lactation consultants' (yes, plural) advice.
Try for longer periods. At this point I wouldn't be worried about an oversupply. Also, google power pumping one of my many lactation consultants recommended it to me. I don't remember specifics though. I believe it is 10 minutes pumping, 20 minutes off for an hour or two.
I'd do longer periods, and more often, with the hospital pump. You're still in the early weeks; I agree not to worry about oversupply. And if you were ebfing, it'd probably be more often than every three hours, at least during the day.
Post by NewOrleans on Feb 10, 2014 18:24:11 GMT -5
Just wishing you well. I remember how stressful this shit was, and I was always a low supply person-- fenugreek, blabbity blah blah.
In fact, I had a high-risk pregnancy one time around, and I did not produce so much as colostrum ever following that pregnancy. Nada. None at all. Biology, man!
A lactation consultant treated me so shitty when I went begging for help that I wrote off the entire profession as on the same level as chiropractors, lol.
I'm so irritated right now, and this isn't even my post.
Preemies have a notorious difficult time with latch. Some go on to latch beautifully, some do not. Mine didn't. Nipple shield or not, my kids didn't latch. I pumped my heart out, tried every trick in the book, saw a LC and used 3 different types of pumps. Nada. The boobs didn't want to produce milk. I also had a traumatic birth, and the stress/shock to my system was already making my hormones insane, and honestly, fuck it. It's not all sunshine and puppy dog tails. Sometimes what your body should do, it just doesn't. My kids did awesome on formula, and are thriving happy 3.5 year olds. And I'm sane (well it's all relative
I'm so sorry Miso. This is so stressful. Having a baby in the NICU and a stressful birth makes everything compounded. Just know that whatever you decide to do, there is no wrong decision. If you feed your kid, your golden.
Is there a compelling reason to pump right now. My LC buddies would tell you to go to bed and snuggle and cluster feed.
Hey, you.
Did you actually have any difficulties?
Or are you just pushing your breast milk agenda here?
Yeah.
My son's autistic and had a significant amount of difficulty latching. Coordination of suck and swallow is sometimes related to sensory processing issues and common among newborns who are later diagnosed with autism.
I don't have a breastmilk agenda. Moms need to do what's right for them and their families. Breast milk is best nutritionally for baby, that's not open to debate. If it doesn't work for your family, it's not the right choice for you. Happy mommy = happy baby. It's only one choice of many you'll make for your child.
I can't answer for miso, but I feel compelled to say this was the worst possible advice I got when I was in that position. "Just cluster feed" is so upsetting, guilt inducing and depression enhancing advice when you have a baby who won't latch. And none of that negative emotion helps mom produce. So I kept Andy at the breast as often as we could and it was the best we could do.
AGREED.
These aren't options right now.
That's why I said to address the latch first. Both mom and baby face a learning curve here. If you can help the baby latch effectively, the rest works out.
So, I struggled from the get go with BFing and pumping was miserable.
@misoangry - this may be a dumb question but are you actually having a let-down when you pump? Is there a let-down mode on your pump?
It wasn't until someone told me I wasn't getting anything because I wasn't setting myself up for a proper let-down that pumping finally made sense.
I was wondering the same thing. I never had supply issues but my early pumping sessions (I had surgery and had to pump and dump for a couple of days) produced almost nothing. I just couldn't get a proper letdown for some reason. I am no pumping expert though, I just now it was hard for me.
I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding with DS1. Postpartum depression made me not want to cuddle with him, and he had a bad latch and tore me up really bad the first week. I was told to supplement with formula to treat his jaundice but no one told me to pump to replace supply. He screamed while I tried to nurse because he was hungry and I wasn't producing enough, but I didn't know that at the time. Feeding was a nightmare for his first three months.
I combo fed until 12 weeks when I was really down to one nursing session anyway. He was formula fed until a year. My second son is exclusively breast fed and I honestly see no difference health-wise, or in our bond, now at 7 months.
It's hard I'm really sorry you're struggling. Any breast milk is good. I admire your hard work to give her that. Formula did help my relationship with my first. I know you don't need me to tell you this, but misotiny will be loved and happy in the long run, however you feed her right now.
I remember my horrible experiences pumping for my oldest. There were times when I pumped 2 oz total from both breasts. It sucked and was so difficult and it made me jealous to read that people could produce 4 oz from one side. There were times when I only got maybe .75 oz from one side. I would usually pump for a minimum of 25 minutes and when I was back at work I would pump 3 or 4 times at work.
I'm sorry, miso The pressure to BF, keep trying and not give up can be overwhelming, and I understand how frustrating that feels.
You already know my story. I just wanted to say that I'm behind you no matter what, and I'm here if you need more support. Whatever you end up doing, it will still be the best decision for misotiny AND you.
I didn't have a problem with production, but I did end up EPing. If I could go back, I would have gone straight to formula. It is a hassle, and I hated how it made me feel.
Same thing for me with first-born, DS. With DD I just went right to formula. My kids were 2 of the healthiest around. They never caught anything. DS didn't miss a day of school until 7th grade. DD didn't miss until 8th when she caught a 24 hour flu. She had no idea what it was because she'd never been sick. Maybe we just got lucky but using formula was just fine for us.
He wouldn't latch, either. I always (well, for 2 weeks?) tried first, but we both got frustrated/ending up crying. I would pump and pump for hours and get one to two oz, max. I pumped for a few weeks and gave him BM before formula, but my supply never increased.
It's so hard. I suffer from some pretty bad depression issues as is, but my PPD was worsened by me feeling like I "failed" every time I pumped. I've had moms tell me I should have just "stuck it out", but honestly, I got to the point of feeling angry at L. I resented him for not latching, I hated my body more than I think most PP moms do, and I had visions of murdering H (not really, but kind of) every time my alarm went off for me to pump while he slept peacefully beside me.
I'm pretty biased, but my child is incredibly awesome for being a FF baby I can tell you a million times not to feel like you're "failing", but you probably still will because it's human nature. Don't let it get to the point of depression. Please. It was a horrible, horrible time in my marriage and with my newborn. I hate that I was so scared of judgement from others that I kept doing something that wasn't working for me because I would be a "bad mom" if I didn't. You're going to have a lot of time to be judged the fuck out about your parenting decisions. If you decide it doesn't work, you're still a great mom because you're feeding your baby.
I don't have any advice on sticking it out because I didn't. Whatever YOU choose, do it for YOU. Not for anyone else.
Maybe this place is hurting more than helping...pumping isn't fun for ANY of us that have had to do it.
Help us understand what you want support with her - tips for producing more milk or that it's ok to move on to FF? I'm pretty sure no matter what, you'll have a ton of support no matter what you choose.
I'm predominantly interested in hearing from people who have had similar difficulties and how they coped, whether they ultimately found breast-feeding and/or pumping success or went to exclusively formula-feeding.
I am NOT interested in hearing from people who did NOT have difficulties and just want to tell me to eat this or take that or do this or that WHEN THEY HAD NO PROBLEMS THEMSELVES.
I had similar issues. Latching difficulties, pumped around the clock and produced very little. I hated pumping. I hated the frustration of trying to breastfeed. I didn't need that on top of all the postpartum emotions running crazy. I called my pediatrician in tears when my son was 3 weeks old. He told me there was no reason to be so miserable and to stop if I wanted to. I did and never regretted it. Your daughter will be happy, healthy, and smart whether you continue to breastfeed or switch to formula. Do what feels right to you.
I don't have kids, but one of my very dear friends has two little girls. She said the best thing she ever did for herself and her girls was to stop trying to BF or pump. It was causing so much emotional stress for my friend that she wasn't able to enjoy her babies. Once she switched she was so much happier and more relaxed. And so were her girls.
Hi- I'm a lurker but wanted to respond because I had a similar experience. My son was born with multiple birth defect which required surgery. Right after birth he was taken to Childrens while I remained at local hospital. I pumped while at my hospital for a day and then was released and would pump while visiting my son. It was an awful experience between stress, being apart, and trying to keep up with pumping since my supply was crap. He was on feeding tube for a week so he could not even try to latch. Once he could bottle feed, The lactation consultant came into his room a few times but he never really latched once he was off feeding tube. I gave up pumping after 2 weeks and felt awful since my son had health problems so I felt extra pressure. I think trying to keep up with bottles and pumping on top of it lead to the beginning of serious PPD (I'm sure the trauma of a sick kid didn't help either) Nursing is hard enough with a perfectly normal birth experience and once you throw anything else into mix, it's really hard.
I guess point of this rambling is that I felt a billion times better once I made decision. I bonded better with him and enjoyed feeding him. We had 9 months of doctors appointments and 4 surgeries ahead of us, I think I would have literally lost my mind if I didn't stop. He's now a perfectly healthy (& awesome) 4 year old.
The absolute most important thing to do now is enjoy your daughter and that means you need to be as unstressed as possible.
She's amazing. So beautiful miso. When DS came back from the NICU @ 3 days after getting a bottle there every 3 hours, I just gave up on the boob. I'm hypo plastic ( are you? I mean I know it's SUPER creepy to ask about your boob shape but....) & I have FLAT fucking nips & I just gave the fuck up as I got not one drop out of either boob.
DS was FF. At 15 months he read a stop sign. He's 2 and he knows & spells his colors. He's a Twy Sentwa kid. I promise formula is great & misotiny will thrive if that's what YOU WANT to do.
Post by copperboom on Feb 10, 2014 18:53:34 GMT -5
I had a lot of difficulties with breast feeding and pumping. My daughter had a bad latch, and alarmingly slow weight gain. Honestly, once I decided to formula feed, I felt immeasurably better. It was the right choice for us, and I finally was able to enjoy feeding my baby instead of stressing to the point of tears every time.
I don't want to discourage you from breast feeding if that's what you want to do, but I want you to know that you have a choice here and if you will be a happier (mentally) healthier mom by formula feeding, that is 100% okay. Anyone who says differently can go fuck themselves.