Truly flameworthy opinions, please

[Deleted]

Feb 20, 2014 12:25:11 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Feb 20, 2014 11:21:11 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

Serious question--I have a dead baby in my signature. Does it bother anyone?

I also have a fb friend who posts pictures of her baby after he died. It makes me super uncomfortable. She posts them almost weekly.

No way. 
I don't look at it and think of a baby who passed.
I see it and think, "oh it's E". Just like I think , "oh it's G" when I see pugz 's siggy, or "oh it's C" when I see Brie. 

This is how I feel too gravytrain225. Well said Kirkette!

[stealthmom]

Feb 20, 2014 16:57:33 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

I'm opening a can of worms here, but I really want an update from the regular poster who used an AE to contemplate cheating on her husband. Remember that? It was right before Christmas and I wonder what happened?

ftr she had already cheated. She simply hadn't had intercourse.

[otowngirl]

Feb 20, 2014 16:52:01 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

Feb 20, 2014 16:47:22 GMT -5 mrssandro said:

Blasphemy! 

I was just thinking about the Virgin Islands and dreaming I was there. 

No. I just think how about how sweaty I would be and how many people I would offend by the fact that I would be wearing very little clothing.

Plus I have dry eyes and squinting makes them worse, so I would be wearing sunglasses all the time, and then they'd get sweat on them and... yeah. 

Plus, and this is really flame-worthy, I can't think of any cultural component to the Virgin Islands I wish to experience. At least Mexico, sweaty as it may be, has great architecture and history and food. VI, Bermuda, Aruba, etc just seem to have been dropped in the middle of the ocean so people have a place to sit on the beach, eating resort food and drinking overly sweet blended cocktails. 

Well... I would travel to Cuba if I could. I find that to be interesting.

[Deleted]

Oh, here's a random. People always say if they were single again they'd slut it up, but I found when that became reality that it wasn't that realistic. I am at an age where it felt awkward to be at a bar scoping out guys and setting up a hookup with someone online seemed like a good way to get into a dangerous situation. There were a couple of months back there when I was basically dying to have sex with someone but had no idea where to even find such a person. I know it's not hard to get a guy to sleep with you (trust, it was never a problem before my marriage...) but the methods by which to meet such men just don't seem natural in my 30's. Maybe it's just me.

I guess it makes me kind of boring that I've only had sex with 1 person since my divorce, but I also had a couple of pretty slutty years in my early 20's so maybe the truth is just that I got through my slut phase long ago and have some level of regret/shame and no desire to go back down that path. IDK. No judgement for anyone who does that now, of course, but I think my point is that the idea of it is a lot more appealing than when you actually have the option to make it a reality

[Deleted]

Feb 20, 2014 16:44:23 GMT -5 rbp said:

Feb 20, 2014 16:18:46 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

My flameworthy opinion is that this MMM does not want to rejoin MM. The main board is really dull, so I just lurk her when I've read all of MMMs. I think FICO scores, talking about retirement, and loans are just about the most boring subjects imaginable.

You guys can't have it both ways. You want the randoms/confessions/UO threads here, but you (collective MM "you") bitched and complained endlessly that there were too many kid-related @ posts. You want to have your cake and eat it too.

I think kids are boring as fuck.

We'll see how you feel in 5 months. I bet a HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS all of a sudden you will think your kid is the most interesting thing on earth. I hope I can dig up this post when you do.

[rbp]

Feb 20, 2014 17:02:21 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

Feb 20, 2014 16:44:23 GMT -5 rbp said:

I think kids are boring as fuck.

We'll see how you feel in 5 months. I bet a HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS all of a sudden you will think your kid is the most interesting thing on earth. I hope I can dig up this post when you do.

I never said I don't like my own kid.  :?

[Deleted]

Feb 20, 2014 16:46:14 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

Feb 20, 2014 16:41:23 GMT -5 @champagna said:

Wait, WHAT?! Like, you blow your nose into a tissue and then he'll use it, too? OMG. lolol

What I don't get is that a tissue is a one-time use thing. Like, even *I* can't use the same tissue twice, so how is someone else supposed to use it? Sometimes I even need to use TWO tissues. 

To answer champagna, I'll use a tissue that he's saving for a second use.

To answer msmerymac, sometimes my snot is such that tissues are definitely one use only, but sometimes there's only a little that comes out so I'll put it in my pocket to use again.  Particularly if I'm in the subway or whatever so I couldn't throw it away and I only have one tissue so I can't go to a second even if I want to.

I have really bad allergies so I blow my nose a lot. 

[dexteroni]

Feb 20, 2014 17:01:35 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Oh, here's a random. People always say if they were single again they'd slut it up, but I found when that became reality that it wasn't that realistic.

I was thinking "helllll yeah" when I read @songforyou's comment, and was planning to quote it once I got caught up. But your post makes me realize that I wouldn't be "slutting it up" so much as I would just date around. And around and around. I think I'm confident enough that I wouldn't worry about a lot of the silly stuff I worried about in my early 20s, and wouldn't be all "but is there a future?" about everyone. I would just go on as many dates as I could with as many people as I could - not to learn about myself, just to (hopefully) have a bunch of fun. Because eventually I would hope to meet someone else with whom I would hopefully spend the rest of my life with, so this would be my shot to enjoy a variety for a while.

Feb 20, 2014 17:01:35 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

I am at an age where it felt awkward to be at a bar scoping out guys and setting up a hookup with someone online seemed like a good way to get into a dangerous situation.

Surely every city has the bars where the older divorced/single people go, no? I would think it's just a matter of finding the right places. But also, I would think there's potential in more places than bars - I see the same people when I stop for coffee every Friday morning, when I do dog daycare dropoff, etc. If I were looking, I would look pretty much everywhere.

[dexteroni]

Feb 20, 2014 17:02:21 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

Feb 20, 2014 16:44:23 GMT -5 rbp said:

I think kids are boring as fuck.

We'll see how you feel in 5 months. I bet a HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS all of a sudden you will think your kid is the most interesting thing on earth. I hope I can dig up this post when you do.

No offense to you specifically @supergreen, but "we'll see how you feel when...." has got to be one of the most fucking annoying things for new moms to hear from more experienced moms. I feel like I would think "oh will we? No, we won't. You won't see anything. These are my feelings. Fuck off." But then I tend to have problems with authority. lol.

[Kore]

I have zero doubt I'd be slutting it up. The internet makes it very easy to meet people.

[msmerymac]

And inspired by my job...

The misuse of sight/site/cite bothers me way more than their/there/they're. Probably because with the latter, people usually misusing them have a... tenuous grasp of writing and grammar in general, but I see extremely educated and intelligent professionals misuse the former all. the. time.

(And so starts a bunch of posts about people who see multimillionaire MBAs misuse their/there/they're on a daily basis. )

[mellymel]

I love my DH but sometimes I am so not attracted to him lately. For example, every day I shower, blow dry my hair, put on makeup, etc. I know I don't have to do this, but I do. It makes me feel better about myself. It takes me about an hour to get ready every day.

So why is it so hard for DH to take 5 seconds to run a little gel through his hair or wear a baseball cap instead of walking around with his natural helmet head look? God, I am such a bitch for saying this, but that's how I feel. If I'm putting in effort to look nice every day, can't he? I mean, it's way easier for guys.

And that one thing, doing something with his hair, makes a gigantic difference in how I feel about him. Shallow.

How's that for flammable?

[msmerymac]

Feb 20, 2014 17:25:39 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

I don't think the Caribbeans on the board would really appreciate someone saying their country has no cultural component. And I know we have on Bajan, vigurl is from VI, my ILs are Tobagonian, and my maternal grandparents are Haitian.

Have you seen how big Turks and Caicos is?! It's like the size of the town I grew up in. Which doesn't have a distinct culture, really, although it's a lovely place, as I'm sure T&C is as well. And maybe they do, but I have no interest in visiting.

Also, Nassau basically exists because it was a place to set up rum running during prohibition. Which sounds interesting, but I'm betting less than 1% of people traveling to the Bahamas actually give a shit about that, so I doubt it's really that enticing to plan a vacation around it, given that the vast majority of stuff in the country will appeal to those who want to do beach-like or summer-outdoorsy activities rather than research the history of prohibition, and there are probably very few tour outlets giving out historical information due to lack of demand. 

... Which actually makes me wonder what kind of primary research materials they have if one were to research run running...

[Deleted]

My husband and I haven't had sex since like October, maybe early November. (Note: pregnant/TTC =/= sex when you are IF) Now that we had a good u/s today, I feel it's "safe" to have sex again. Before, if we had, and I m/c I feel I'd somehow blame sex/DH/a combination for it besides the fact it is totally irrational.

[Deleted]

Feb 20, 2014 17:20:05 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

Feb 20, 2014 17:01:35 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Oh, here's a random. People always say if they were single again they'd slut it up, but I found when that became reality that it wasn't that realistic.

I was thinking "helllll yeah" when I read @songforyou's comment, and was planning to quote it once I got caught up. But your post makes me realize that I wouldn't be "slutting it up" so much as I would just date around. And around and around. I think I'm confident enough that I wouldn't worry about a lot of the silly stuff I worried about in my early 20s, and wouldn't be all "but is there a future?" about everyone. I would just go on as many dates as I could with as many people as I could - not to learn about myself, just to (hopefully) have a bunch of fun. Because eventually I would hope to meet someone else with whom I would hopefully spend the rest of my life with, so this would be my shot to enjoy a variety for a while.

Feb 20, 2014 17:01:35 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

I am at an age where it felt awkward to be at a bar scoping out guys and setting up a hookup with someone online seemed like a good way to get into a dangerous situation.

Surely every city has the bars where the older divorced/single people go, no? I would think it's just a matter of finding the right places. But also, I would think there's potential in more places than bars - I see the same people when I stop for coffee every Friday morning, when I do dog daycare dropoff, etc. If I were looking, I would look pretty much everywhere.

Yeah, you're probably right. I live in a big 10 college town, so I mostly saw a bunch of people 10 years younger than me when I went out last summer... lol. But admittedly I wasn't actually trying at that point, I was more thinking "OMG when I'm ready to date/hook up again, is this what I have to choose from???" I'm not particularly outgoing when I'm not drinking so I can't really fathom finding a hookup outside of a bar type situation, lol.

TBH I thought I'd do a lot more casual dating too, for basically the reasons you mention. I was all set to be breezy and play the field! But I honestly can't imagine dating a bunch of random (and perhaps very nice and fun) dudes would be any more exciting than how things actually turned out for me, so I'm ok with the fact that my expectations were different than my reality.

I just think sometimes what you think would happen if you were single and what actually happens when you are single might be different. But everyone is different so that's maybe more of a commentary on myself than anyone else! Who knows.

[stealthmom]

Feb 20, 2014 17:25:39 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

I don't think the Caribbeans on the board would really appreciate someone saying their country has no cultural component. And I know we have on Bajan, vigurl is from VI, my ILs are Tobagonian, and my maternal grandparents are Haitian.

I once heard a someone answer "what culture?" When asked what she thought of american culture. She was an adult exchange student and should have known better. I wanted to clock her but couldn't because she was my student.

[whitemerlot]

I was a super young bride and love my marriage and life, but I can see the appeal of sexing it up if you are newly divorced.

I agree with Kore that it seems like it would be easy to meet people with the Internet.

[ESF]

Feb 20, 2014 18:03:01 GMT -5 @songforyou said:

Feb 20, 2014 17:25:39 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

I don't think the Caribbeans on the board would really appreciate someone saying their country has no cultural component. And I know we have on Bajan, vigurl is from VI, my ILs are Tobagonian, and my maternal grandparents are Haitian.

Lots and lots of THIS.

Unrelated, but this reminds me of a conversation I had just last week--my coworkers were talking about ginger beer and how it was hard to find.  OI was all .  There is a decent-sized Jamaican population in my city.  West Indian grocery stores in plenty of areas.  Honestly, it's probably in the "ethnic foods" aisle of every major supermarket, but even if not, it's only hard to find if you refuse to aware of other people's culture and existence.  Like, I would not start talking about how hard it is to find fish sauce (also in the "EF" aisle, but still) when I haven't even thought about where an Asian grocery store might be.

Now this one is really completely unrelated, but while I'm venting, I hate when I'm doing someone a favor I don't even want to do and then he/she has the audacity to take issue with how I'm doing it.  That just happened. And now someone is favor-less.

I am laughing because you have no idea how long I spent looking for the fish sauce in the grocery store this morning.  I went up and down the damn "Asian" aisle about 5 times.  

[ESF]

Feb 20, 2014 18:08:19 GMT -5 @songforyou said:

Feb 20, 2014 18:06:56 GMT -5 ESF said:

I am laughing because you have no idea how long I spent looking for the fish sauce in the grocery store this morning.  I went up and down the damn "Asian" aisle about 5 times.  

LOL!  Did you find it?

YES!  

Except they only had GIANT bottles of it.  Enough to eat stir fry every night for a year. 

[msmerymac]

"Ethnic food" aisle feel vaguely... offensive to me? At least dated and out of touch.

I especially hate how they put the American hot sauce and salsa in the condiments/salsa aisle, but then put the imported salsa in the "ethnic foods" area. Stop segregating the grocery store.

[lasagnasshole]

Feb 20, 2014 18:11:40 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

"Ethnic food" aisle feel vaguely... offensive to me? At least dated and out of touch.

Says the person who thinks the Caribbean has no culture.

LOL.

[pantsparty]

Feb 20, 2014 9:18:01 GMT -5 cilantro said:

I think it's lame to prefer to 'vacation' (cruises/AIs) over really travel and see the world and learn.

On that note, I'm sure reproducing is going to make me a 'vactioner' as opposed to a traveler for years to come. This makes me sad.

I'm not interested in "learning" on all my vacations. Sometimes one just likes to lay the fuck back and be brought drink after drink.  :Y:  :drink:  (hot)

[stealthmom]

Here's the thing about parenting. Sure it seems super boring but when you have a stupid question to ask it's sooooooo nice to have a place to go and not feel bad about it. Mmm is pretty much the single reason I came back to these boards after an absence of a few years.

And once you post your own stupid boring questions you feel compelled to stick around and return the favor. Or at least I do. I actually think it's a really (unusually) nice, if boring board.

[HoneySpider]

I think judging or being annoyed by how people grieve the loss of a child is an asshole move.

Would I personally do some of the things mentioned in this thread? No. But, dealing with the loss of a child is a very personal and individual experience and there's no right or wrong way to do it. There's also no time frame on it. Some people deal and move on quickly, others don't.

And prefacing a comment with "I can't imagine" or "I don't understand" doesn't make it ok. You're right, if you haven't gone through it, you have no idea. Which means you have no idea how YOU would deal with the grief afterwards. You can't know 100% how you would handle it until you are actually in that moment. And maybe in the moment you might be that lady who signs her dead kid's name on a card or posts too many photos. Losing a child is a life-changing experience, it can definitely make you do things that are "crazy." And imagine if, on top of all of that, you also lost the support of your friends because YOUR behavior isn't what THEY deem appropriate.

[HoneySpider]

Feb 20, 2014 10:19:58 GMT -5 Kore said:

Feb 20, 2014 10:18:22 GMT -5 @pnkybrwstr said:

Should MMM just be made it's own board, separate from MM? It could probably be consolidated w/ Parenting and maybe even GP?

Parenting has been taken over by people from both GP boards. I don't think they want a takeover.

Yeah the parenting board currently has very little to do with parenting. And we prefer to keep it that way

[Deleted]

Feb 20, 2014 10:13:59 GMT -5 SusanBAnthony said:

I now read Mr. Money mustache forums for actual financial advice bc MM sucks at it. Mostly because there isn't any actual financial discussion.

YES!!!  (To the fact that you are on Mustache forums!)  Sad that MM isn't doing well on this front, boo.

[awkwardpenguin]

Feb 20, 2014 13:33:09 GMT -5 Brie said:

Feb 20, 2014 13:28:44 GMT -5 shortstax said:

Woah. I am so creeped out.

Another creepy IG hashtag rabbit hole: #rebornbaby

People who buy lifelike dolls and treat them like actual babies.  Like, buy them carseats, strollers, fix them bottles.  It's insane.

I know someone from high school who is into these.  She's also struggled with IF, and I judged until I knew that, but now I think it's just sad.

[HoneySpider]

Feb 20, 2014 18:42:39 GMT -5 @applesauce said:

Feb 20, 2014 12:52:53 GMT -5 @songforyou said:

IMO, the person has to be an asshole, because of the whole she would be so pleased to be named thing.   Tacom is no asshole.

This game is dumb, but it's the only game going right now.

Let's play "Name all the assholes"! (devil)

Clearly @applesauce is the biggest MM asshole

[pb127]

Feb 20, 2014 18:43:10 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

I think judging or being annoyed by how people grieve the loss of a child is an asshole move.

Would I personally do some of the things mentioned in this thread? No. But, dealing with the loss of a child is a very personal and individual experience and there's no right or wrong way to do it. There's also no time frame on it. Some people deal and move on quickly, others don't.

And prefacing a comment with "I can't imagine" or "I don't understand" doesn't make it ok. You're right, if you haven't gone through it, you have no idea. Which means you have no idea how YOU would deal with the grief afterwards. You can't know 100% how you would handle it until you are actually in that moment. And maybe in the moment you might be that lady who signs her dead kid's name on a card or posts too many photos. Losing a child is a life-changing experience, it can definitely make you do things that are "crazy." And imagine if, on top of all of that, you also lost the support of your friends because YOUR behavior isn't what THEY deem appropriate.

Well said!! This weekend, I will be celebrating my son's 3rd birthday... with his box of ashes. Thankfully, my friends are not assholes and will celebrate with us this weekend on FB as I am usually too heartbroken to leave the house that day. ((Hugs)) fellow loss mom.

[atlas]

Feb 20, 2014 16:52:01 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

Feb 20, 2014 16:47:22 GMT -5 mrssandro said:

Blasphemy! 

I was just thinking about the Virgin Islands and dreaming I was there. 

No. I just think how about how sweaty I would be and how many people I would offend by the fact that I would be wearing very little clothing. 

Plus I have dry eyes and squinting makes them worse, so I would be wearing sunglasses all the time, and then they'd get sweat on them and... yeah. 

Plus, and this is really flame-worthy, I can't think of any cultural component to the Virgin Islands I wish to experience. At least Mexico, sweaty as it may be, has great architecture and history and food. VI, Bermuda, Aruba, etc just seem to have been dropped in the middle of the ocean so people have a place to sit on the beach, eating resort food and drinking overly sweet blended cocktails. 

Well... I would travel to Cuba if I could. I find that to be interesting.

But would you go to Mauritius?