Post by donnamartingraduat on May 28, 2014 13:03:12 GMT -5
I hyphenated. I don't regret it - although having a hyphenated name is often a pain in the butt. It was a hard decision though, I struggled with it a lot.
I needed / wanted to keep my last name for professional identification reasons. My husband liked the idea of me taking his name, although he didn't have strong feelings about it. I also liked the idea of changing my name. We had been together 13 years and living together for 9 when we got married. For me, changing my name punctuated the fact that we got married, because nothing else really changed.
I changed my name because I wanted unity with my husband and for our family unit to have that. My opinion on this hasn't changed. It is a huge pain in the ass though.
HOT BUTTON: I feel no less unified with my husband and children, who have a different last name than I do, than I would venture anyone else in a family does. Not that YOU are saying this. But lots of people do.
Post by alicenelson on May 28, 2014 13:06:46 GMT -5
1-Yes 2-Yes 3-N/A
I have kept my maiden name on my drivers license (in addition to my married name, but not hyphenated) to help with any crossover identification issues, and for added confirmation of my relation to my parents in case of an emergency with them.
Did you change your name when you got married? No. Are you happy with your decision? Very. If you didn't change your name, do you go by your husband's name socially? Usually. My name on FB is Eagles Maiden Married, and we get invitations and Christmas cards addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Married.
Post by anastasia517 on May 28, 2014 13:11:35 GMT -5
I got married this month and am changing my name. It was an easy decision because I had actually debated changing my last name from my father's to my mother's in the past.
My maiden name is a not commonly used, but well known male name so it will most likely be the middle name of our first son.
I'm glad I changed my name - it's nice, to me, for our family unit to all have the same name. I do wish that h's (our) last name wasn't so boring, lol. My maiden name is beautiful and not common here in mn. I'm still pretty attached to it; I kept it as a second middle name and both kids also have it as a second middle name.
Yes, did change my name. I was not actually all that happy with my decision. I felt like I was giving up something kind of important to me and it was a PITA on top of it. I actually never changed over a bunch of things because sending paperwork in the mail is one of my most hated chores.
I am divorced and changed my name back to my maiden name. I don't know what I'll do if I get married again. I lean strongly toward keeping my maiden name forever.
My BF's last name has almost the same stem as my maiden name - the first three letters are the same and his 4th letter is the same as my 5th letter. I sometimes jokingly combine our last names into one word when talking about our house/activities so maybe we can change both our names to that
I kept my maiden name as a second middle name and took dh's last name. It is kind of a pain, mostly because my maiden name and married name are 2 letters different. I kept it because there are no more of us left (my dad's last name) so it is sentimental to me.
I took my maiden name as a second middle name so I do sometimes use First Maiden Lastname instead of my given middle name. I got married while still in school so it didn't bother me to take H's last name (plus it's so much easier to spell and pronounce), but if I had been established in my career I probably would've kept my maiden name.
Post by MixedBerryJam on May 28, 2014 13:18:25 GMT -5
I changed my name after we'd been married about 3 years. We moved into military housing and it was just easier to all have the same last name. I am rarely called "Mrs. Lastname" by anyone, anywhere (except sales people who invariable mispronounce it). Whenever my kids' teachers address me that way in an email I panic like I'm in trouble or something.
I did not change my name when we got married. Though, I said I would change my name if we ever had kids. So I changed my name to Firstname Maidenname Marriedname when I was a few months pregnant. Marriedname is an AWFUL name and people often think I'm joking with them when I give them my name.
I was occassionally referred to as Mrs. Marriedname before I changed it and it never bothered me.
I'm sorry, but now I'm pretty sure your real name is "Mrs. Anita Dick"
I changed my name because I wanted unity with my husband and for our family unit to have that. My opinion on this hasn't changed. It is a huge pain in the ass though.
HOT BUTTON: I feel no less unified with my husband and children, who have a different last name than I do, than I would venture anyone else in a family does. Not that YOU are saying this. But lots of people do.
The person who gave me the hardest time about not changing my name is my mom, who at one point said "BUT DON'T YOU WANT TO HAVE THE SAME NAME AS YOUR CHILDREN?!?" I looked at her and said "You and I haven't had the same last name since I was in 8th grade and you got remarried. Try again."
Post by bohemianmango on May 28, 2014 13:20:53 GMT -5
Yes, I changed my middle and last name. My old last name is now my middle name and I took my DH's last name.
I'm happy with it. My daughters have the same middle and last names as I do. That was my biggest sway in changing my name.
We talked about DH taking my last name or combining our last names because he doesn't have a familial connection to his last name. We decided against it because he was recognized by name in his industry by the time we got married.
I changed to his name both times. The first time was because it never occurred to me not to, and because he assumed I would and would have been upset if I didn't. (Then I got divorced and couldn't wait to go back to my maiden name.)
I added his last name to mine when we married, the way most women in my family do it (with the exception of my sister). So I'm now First Middle Maiden Married. Usually I just go by First Middle Married, but on official documents (like my driver's license) I include all four.
So is your middle name 2 names, or is your last name 2 names? I think I like this idea. Is it ever a pain?
I added his last name to mine when we married, the way most women in my family do it (with the exception of my sister). So I'm now First Middle Maiden Married. Usually I just go by First Middle Married, but on official documents (like my driver's license) I include all four.
So is your middle name 2 names, or is your last name 2 names? I think I like this idea. Is it ever a pain?
My middle name is two names. It's never been an issue for me whatsoever.
Wanted to add, since we moved back to my hometown, DH gets called Mr. Nomad more often than I get called Mrs. H since people know my family name. We sometimes get mail addressed to Mr and Mrs. Nomad. Cracks me up inside.
I was 37, almost 38, when I got married so had a long life and work history with my last name and I wasn't at all interested in changing it. I love my last name and TBH, if DH had made a stink about my "not taking his name" we probably wouldn't have gotten married.
Even if we have/adopt kids, I won't change it. Sharing a last name doesn't make you more or less of a family.
No Yes Inadvertently. Like at the grocery store, they call me mrs ray. If I were smarter, I would have changed my name from this ginormous hyphenated monstrosity I was born with to his simple, teeny tiny name. But no. Obdurate, party of one
I added his last name to mine when we married, the way most women in my family do it (with the exception of my sister). So I'm now First Middle Maiden Married. Usually I just go by First Middle Married, but on official documents (like my driver's license) I include all four.
So is your middle name 2 names, or is your last name 2 names? I think I like this idea. Is it ever a pain?
I know you didn't ask me but I'll answer too
I grew up with four names - it's Filipino tradition (my dad is Filipino, my mom's Caucasian) to have the mother's maiden name as the middle name for kids. My parents wanted to do this but also choose their own, so we got two middle names. I dropped my mom's maiden name when I got married, which was hard but five names is too many for me!
And, no, it's never been a pain. There's not always room on forms for both names/initials so then I just pick one. No big deal.
Didn't change my name. Yes, I am very happy. Socially, not really.
In the long wrong I'm glad I didn't change it. Because he is a dick. Treated me poorly and now that I am going through a divorce I enjoy that I still have my maiden name. I don't ever plan to change it now.
Yes Yes, I went from a hard to pronounce/spell German last name to an easy to pronounce common last name that I never have to help spell or anything! Easy Peasy. n/a
Yes ish... I'm not unhappy but I'm not happy about it either. It took me two years to change my name, I was attached to it and went through an identity crisis after I changed my name. Now that I know I can't have biological I feel even more disconnected from my family (and not at all connected to H's family).