Post by loremipsum on May 28, 2014 17:40:48 GMT -5
Yes. Sort of. N/a
I went with a double last name so I'm Firstname Middlename Maiden Hislastname. I like this in theory but it's kind of a pain in the ass in practice.
My surname is long, and doesn't always fit well on forms. People also get confused by the fact that there's no hyphen, just a space (I don't get my panties in a bunch if they put in a hyphen unless it's official paperwork), and they often alphabetize it incorrectly (I get a lot of "Sorry I don't have your info here" because it'll be filed incorrectly or they'll look under the wrong letter). And in my case, it doesn't help that my husband's last name sounds like a common surname but is spelled unusually, so I frequently have to correct it (even if I spelled it for them originally).
Sometimes I think it would have been easier just to pick one name and go with it. :/
Post by Dumbledork on May 28, 2014 18:02:18 GMT -5
Yes, I changed it. I'm indifferent about it.
I wanted to hyphen it, I mentioned it to my parents and they freaked the fuck out. They're pretty chill and breezy about most things, but they were pissed that I was even considering the idea of keeping or incorporating my maiden name. My mom was the most outspoken about it. It was weird. DH didn't care either way.
I buckled and just went ahead and changed it to DH's last name. I'm meh about it. On FB my name is 1stName MaidenName MarriedName and I really like how it looks and sounds. I definitely prefer it over how 1stName MarriedName sounds. My maiden name was long, but very easy to sound out. My married name is short and very common. I've been asked how to spell them both fairly frequently.
Post by megalicious on May 28, 2014 19:48:04 GMT -5
Like OP, I go back and forth. I haven't changed it yet. I've been telling myself that I'll do it for our 5th anniversary this fall, but I'm still not 100% sure. I have a very unique last name and I get a lot of "how do you pronounce that" and "what ethnicity is that?" questions and honestly, I kind of enjoy talking about it since being Dutch is exceedingly rare in New England what with all the Irish and Italians running around. H's last name is very vanilla. DD has H's last name, so it would be easier if I switched. I do occasionally go by his last name--mostly with neighbors and other parents. ... I almost wish I could change it legally to his and keep it professionally as mine, but I have no idea how to do that.
Post by litebright on May 28, 2014 19:56:43 GMT -5
I changed my name legally. However, I kept my maiden name professionally because I wanted continuity and google-ability for my work.
Yes, I'm glad I did it the way I did.
DH has one incident of minor belly-aching early on about how my coworkers probably thought he was Mr. Mymaidenname, since outside of HR, no one knew I was an Ourlastname. Guess what? It happened once at a Christmas party and it was NBD to clarify and move on.
I changed my name because I wanted unity with my husband and for our family unit to have that. My opinion on this hasn't changed. It is a huge pain in the ass though.
HOT BUTTON: I feel no less unified with my husband and children, who have a different last name than I do, than I would venture anyone else in a family does. Not that YOU are saying this. But lots of people do.
I totally understand. Definitely not saying that. I just like that feeling for myself.
I'm not overly traditional or old fashioned, but I've always imagined I would take my husband's name; I like the idea of creating a family unit and naming that. I would have been open to him taking mine, too. But that wasn't of interest to H; he loves his name and didn't want to change his. But didn't care if I changed my name. I also changed my middle name to my maiden name.
My sister got married before H and I got engaged and she was on the fence about changing her name. My mom told us that if she were to do it all over again, she (who has been married to my dad for 40 years) would have kept her maiden name. I think they were both a bit surprised that in our family of vocal feminists I felt strongly about changing my name. My sis ended up changing hers when she got married because the process to change it at another time was a huge hassle. And two years later she went through the hassle anyway when she divorced her ex-h. I think if she marries again she will keep her maiden name.
Post by tacoflavoredkisses on May 28, 2014 20:31:00 GMT -5
Yes. Mostly. N/A.
I went from a very average, common last name (think jones or smith) to a pretty unique, Eastern European last name that people have a hard time pronouncing. That part is the only thing I don't like about having changed my name. Otherwise, I like having the same name as my husband, I like being Mrs. Married and I like that when we have kids I will have the same last name they do- I had a different last name because my mom remarried after I was born and it was always weird being the only one in my family with my name.