Marriage name change poll

[pandorica]

I've been thinking a lot about this and keep going back and forth on what I want. I'm curious what other people have done and how they feel about it.

Did you change your name when you got married?
Are you happy with your decision?
If you didn't change your name, do you go by your husband's name socially?

[revolution]

Yes
Yes
n/a

[nomad100]

No.
Yes.
No.

[cville]

Did you change your name when you got married? No.

Are you happy with your decision? Yes.

If you didn't change your name, do you go by your husband's name socially? Not on purpose, but now that we have kids I get called "Mrs. Cvillehusbandlastname" a lot. I anticipated it and don't let it bother me.



ETA:  Listen, do whatever because you can always change your mind, even if it's a pain in the ass.  But there are a lot of people who will be shocked and/or give you what they believe to be reasons borne of logistical NECESSITY for changing your name.  You'll have to answer like 10,000 questions about it your first couple years of marriage and get a lot of knowing finger-wagging "oh, you'll change your mind when you have kids!"  But that will die down.  Maybe because I'm Stossel on Wheels and am known for things like hating the tradition of having a guy ask a girl's dad for her hand in marriage, but no one even bats an eye anymore.  

So if you DO change, I anticipate that likely you'll have a couple months of "oh I just got married, I'm XX now."  But if you DON'T, just anticipate a couple years of people pissing you off now and again when they question your decision, sometimes rather boorishly ("Oh, is that in case you get divorced?"  "We know who wears the pants in that family!").  For me, it solidified my decision because everyone who was an asshole about it was someone I really didn't WANT to be like or be liked by.  HA.  Personally, change, don't change, I don't care--so I was surprised at how many people cared about my decision.

DAMNIT.  AGAIN with the wordy bullshit.  PIPE DOWN CVILLE, FFS.

[papie]

No
Yes
No

But it was easy for me, you aren't allowed to change it in Quebec. If I had the choice I think I would have hyphenated.

[Deleted]

I did because my maiden name sucks. If I liked my maiden name, I probably wouldn't have changed.

[wonderfezz]

Yes & yes.

[luckyval]

Yes
Yes
n/a

I have friends that maintain the use of their maiden name professionally and I totally get that. If I had been better established in my career, I may have done the same.

[no0b]

Yes.

Yes because it makes my name awesome.

N/A

[ax2]

I took my husbands last name and legally changed my middle name to my maiden name. I don't regret it.

[nannersp]

Yes.

Yes.

N/A.

I made my maiden name my middle name, but mainly because I didn't have a middle name to begin with, just an initial. Also, my maiden name is a long Italian name that's hard to pronounce, so it's been nice not having to correct people or take forever to spell for them. 

[Deleted]

Yes.
Yes.
n/a

I loved my last name. But I was happy to take my H's name. hyphenating wasn't an option. too long

[pandorica]

May 28, 2014 12:26:09 GMT -5 @astrid said:

No
Yes
No

My last name is just better, so I kept it.

This is why I want to keep mine - it's so much better than his! I love my last name

[wambam]

I did change my name - legally, professionally, socially. Everything. I don't have any regrets about it. It also didn't really matter that much to me. My H was really excited about it though.

[gtkim]

I changed my name about 6 months after we got married.  I owned a home and until I sold it I was paranoid about changing my name

I'm fine with the decision, but if I had know what a major PITA it would be I would have never done it.  I still run into issues at work and we've been married 5 years.

The one thing that really bothers me is that I kept my middle name the same and added my maiden name as a second middle name.  So my middle initial is the same as it has always been.  But for some reason everyone assumes I dropped the middle name for my maiden name and they use that for my middle initial.  I know it's trivial in the grand scheme of things but it irks me.

[birdistheword]

Yes & Yes. I hated my maiden name.

[wannabe]

I wouldn't even consider not changing my name after marriage.

[PinkSquirrel]

No
Yes
He took my last name so there is no reason for me to go by his former last name

[ECB]

Did you change your name when you got married?  Yes
Are you happy with your decision?  Yes
If you didn't change your name, do you go by your husband's name socially?  n/a

I had always thought "I'll change my name", but when I got close to getting married, I actually became unsure.  I'm the last of my family and will the name die off?  I felt conflicted about it.

When I told my DH this - his response was "Do whatever feels right.  I'd be happy if you changed your name and I'd be happy if you kept your name.  Either is fine."   In all honesty, having his full support like this is what made me decide to change it!  Because I also knew, from that, that he'd fully support me incorporating my maiden name into our child's name one day (as he was - it's now DSs middle name). 

[teacup]

No
Yes
No

It sometimes gets a little old explaining why we don't ask have the same name. But even so, I have zero regrets about but changing it.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk

[housewife]

Yes. I didn't feel like my identity was tied to my name -- I wasn't known professionally with it. Plus, it was a weird last name no one could pronounce.

No regrets.

[tacocat]

I changed my last name and kept my middle name, so I dropped my maiden name completely. I'm happy with the decision even though I sometimes miss my maiden name because it's unique. It's also a long German name, so I'm happy I don't have to keep pronouncing and spelling it for people.

[CheshireGrin]

I changed to his name both times. The first time was because it never occurred to me not to, and because he assumed I would and would have been upset if I didn't. (Then I got divorced and couldn't wait to go back to my maiden name.)

The second (current) time, I gave it a lot more thought, and for a long time wasn't sure if I wanted to change it or not. A lot of that was because of how happy I had been to get my maiden name back after my divorce, and the fact that after that experience I identified with my maiden name a lot more, and the idea of giving it up again seemed to have broader implications. In the end, I think my only real hesitation was the fact that I hadn't given it ANY thought the first time, so the second time I wanted to make sure. But in the end (okay, several months after we were married) I changed to his name, and I'm happy with that decision. There are still random places that I haven't actually made the change yet (I get a lot of mail to my maiden name still), and I'm okay with that too. I think I kind of like the idea that I didn't make a unilateral change this time, if that makes sense. 

Also, my FB profile has both names, mostly to save confusion, but I kind of like the idea that my maiden name is still there too, even if it isn't legally mine anymore.

[elleblue]

Yes
Yes
n/a

I added his last name to mine when we married, the way most women in my family do it (with the exception of my sister). So I'm now First Middle Maiden Married. Usually I just go by First Middle Married, but on official documents (like my driver's license) I include all four. 

[NothingWrongwithOhio]

Special snowflake!

I did not change my name when we got married. Though, I said I would change my name if we ever had kids. So I changed my name to Firstname Maidenname Marriedname when I was a few months pregnant. Marriedname is an AWFUL name and people often think I'm joking with them when I give them my name.

I was occassionally referred to as Mrs. Marriedname before I changed it and it never bothered me.

[kirra]

Yes
Yes

My last name was much more difficult. No one could pronounce it, and I wasn't attached to it at all. My H's last name is much easier, and I like it better.

Having the same last name also makes it much easier for my H to get access to me during medical situations. Is that bullshit? Absolutely. But it was one of the factors that led to me changing it. I moved my maiden name to my middle name and dropped my middle even though I liked it for similar reasons- better continuity for medical records.

[AmeliaBedelia]

No
Yes
Basically

I always introduce myself using my last name, but I don't correct people who refer to me by my husband's last name.

[underwaterrhymes]

Yes
Yes
N/A

[Deleted]

Yes.
Yes.
N/a

[BaliHai]

Yes.
Yes - now. I don't feel like I was totally happy with it until I had DD.
N/A.

Eta- My maiden name is now legally my middle, since I didn't have one, so I didn't totally lose it... but I had a hard time for a long time after changing it, which I didn't expect. It's been a pleasant surprise since having DD to finally feel content.