I love when CEP has a long-ass thread about someone else's long-ass thread. Someone kindly send up a flare when Hitler is mentioned and the gifs begin.
I thought she was getting a lot of shit because she admitted that she herself didn't even watch the show, so even she didn't know what her kid was watching. At least, that's what *I* was totally side eyeing.
Well I side-eye that too. Then people started saying she was going to be the next John Wayne Gacy.
Bloody growling little girl gets graphically shot by a police officer. I have to be an adult to be scared by that?
Its a conditioned response, so... yes? A 3 yo hasn't developed the mental ability to work through the reasoning about why this should be scary.
I'm calling such bullshit on this. If you look at the more recent "stranger danger" materials, how they teach kids to be safe, a lot of it is relying on your gut. And teaching kids to listen to that gut.
That gut feeling of scared/etc is innate. It might be a little different from TV scared but scared is not a conditioned response. It CAN be for sure -- if you freak out when you see a spider, your kid will probably start freaking out at some point, even if they reverse that response later -- but there is innate "scared."
And I for one want my kids to be honed into that feeling be it from TV or IRL, while they are too young to really know/process the difference. Violence is and SHOULD BE scary. If a kid sees violence they SHOULD have the instinct to get away from it. It goes back to the PTSD example in one of these threads from kids who grow up in violent areas, even if their home life is pretty good.
I really don't want to get into a discussion about kids and what is appropriate.
I will say that if you don't present things as being scary then they won't be scary to a child. ZB's favorite past time was walking through the haunted house and poking the fake zombies in the eyes. When it was all set up we took her through with everyone in it. She had a blast.
There is a difference between holding a child's hand while you explain something is fake and making them think it's funny and being all ho-hum about your child watching other children get shot in the head.
I would hope that, at the bare minimum, having familiarity with the things your kid is watching would be a unity horse. I mean I admit I haven't seen every single Sophia episode (although it fucking feels like it), but I am confident that I can put on an episode and walk away knowing nobody is getting shot in the face or something.
I thought she was getting a lot of shit because she admitted that she herself didn't even watch the show, so even she didn't know what her kid was watching. At least, that's what *I* was totally side eyeing.
Well I side-eye that too. Then people started saying she was going to be the next John Wayne Gacy.
Meh, I think Jeffrey Dahmer is way more likely. He's the one who wanted his partners to be in a zombified state, and dreamed of pouring acid in their heads to leave their bodies alive but their mind gone.
Do you really, honestly believe this kid is going to go all psycho killer and start shooting other children? Really?
Or are you too far down this "kill all the bad parenting decisions with fire" that you're not willing to ease up your position slightly?
I am deeply amused that you think I should "ease up" on my position that watching The Walking Dead is inappropriate for a three-year-old.
I did not ever say the child would grow up "psycho killer" -- but I don't know, and neither do you. Kids internalize violence in different ways, and neither you nor I, nor, I dare say, hbear, knows enough about this particular child's cognitive development to say definitively one way or another. Which is why people are generally cautious with violent imagery around little kids.
I'm not saying ease up on your position that the kid shouldn't be watching it.
So, what do you think the consequences of internalizing the violence might be?
Well I side-eye that too. Then people started saying she was going to be the next John Wayne Gacy.
Meh, I think Jeffrey Dahmer is way more likely. He's the one who wanted his partners to be in a zombified state, and dreamed of pouring acid in their heads to leave their bodies alive but their mind gone.
What evidence outside of this one show do you have for that? Honest question.
the "tra la la la la" breezy, I don't even watch the show myself attitude that others are flaming her for
If the kid started watching with her father I can see why mom trusted dad to assess what's okay for a kid to watch. While if neither H nor I have seen something we'll vet it before letting our kids watch it, if H let my kid watch something I would be less likely to check it out myself before letting my kid watch it again. I trust my H to make good decisions since i haven't seen evidence otherwise so I can see where she did the same unless there are other reasons to mistrust her Hs judgement.
I would hope that, at the bare minimum, having familiarity with the things your kid is watching would be a unity horse. I mean I admit I haven't seen every single Sophia episode (although it fucking feels like it), but I am confident that I can put on an episode and walk away knowing nobody is getting shot in the face or something.
I dunno. That Amber has her eye on the goddam PRIZE when she decides she wants something. And Hildegarde? Chick would smack Cleo down with her fan if she ever forgot her place.
Amber finally did steal the amulet. You know what happened? An evil princess showed up who made people forget things and changed everything to black and white. Her weapons were butterflies and dragonflies. BUTTERFLIES AND DRAGONFLIES!
If the kid started watching with her father I can see why mom trusted dad to assess what's okay for a kid to watch. While if neither H nor I have seen something we'll vet it before letting our kids watch it, if H let my kid watch something I would be less likely to check it out myself before letting my kid watch it again. I trust my H to make good decisions since i haven't seen evidence otherwise so I can see where she did the same unless there are other reasons to mistrust her Hs judgement.
....I'm sorry, but I fail to see how ANYBODY could say "dad vetting it" somehow trumps the fact that IT'S THE WALKING DEAD.
Having never watched the show myself I actually have no idea how violent or graphic it is. I'm not really a tv watcher at all, so I'm not positive I've even seen a commercial for it and only know what I know about it from snippets here. If my H were watching it and didn't shoo our kids out of the room I would probably assume it's fine. But my H is pretty strict on what our kids watch, so that influences my opinion for sure.
....I'm sorry, but I fail to see how ANYBODY could say "dad vetting it" somehow trumps the fact that IT'S THE WALKING DEAD.
I think watching HeMan and G I Joe and Transformers and all that other 80s boy shit didn't leave my DH with the best grip on what is ok violence wise for kids.
this is why he no longer has total control over their TV watching
Does he regularly rule over your household shouting, "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!"
Does he go around shooting people and then concludes, "and knowing is half the battle."
Or did he turn out to be a generally decent man, who you only occasionally want to murder with nerds?
Post by penguingrrl on Apr 8, 2015 10:46:06 GMT -5
I'll add that it's interesting that as a board we generally get really indignant when a father is not involved in their children's lives and doing things at home equally to a mother, but then we're going to criticize a mother for intrinsically trusting her husband's judgement with the kids and not re-vetting something he has already let the kid watch? Seems like a pretty awful double standard to me.
I'll add that it's interesting that as a board we generally get really indignant when a father is not involved in their children's lives and doing things at home equally to a mother, but then we're going to criticize a mother for intrinsically trusting her husband's judgement with the kids and not re-vetting something he has already let the kid watch? Seems like a pretty awful double standard to me.
Right? She admitted she made a mistake, and people kept hammering on her that "she should have known!" She trusted her husband, and he made a poor choice. Ok, she knows now.
But whatev's kid is going to grow up to have a human skin covered couch.
....I'm sorry, but I fail to see how ANYBODY could say "dad vetting it" somehow trumps the fact that IT'S THE WALKING DEAD.
I think watching HeMan and G I Joe and Transformers and all that other 80s boy shit didn't leave my DH with the best grip on what is ok violence wise for kids.
this is why he no longer has total control over their TV watching
Well, hmmm... I guess I also am flawed and more likely to allow violence like your DH b/c I let my three young boys watch all these 80's shows (you forgot She-Ra).
It's not b/c your DH watched these shows at age 8-10 that he has lapses in what might be appropriate for kids, right?
I'll add that it's interesting that as a board we generally get really indignant when a father is not involved in their children's lives and doing things at home equally to a mother, but then we're going to criticize a mother for intrinsically trusting her husband's judgement with the kids and not re-vetting something he has already let the kid watch? Seems like a pretty awful double standard to me.
Yes, the father in this situation bugs me b/c he was a passive parent and let his 3 year old watch it in the first place without thought. That's just being oblivious!
But for the record, if it was a guy saying, "Well my wife watched it with the 3 year old once, so I let her chose it again on Netflix next time." I would still give him the wicked side-eye and let him know that there are far better shows like He-Man out there and that his wife's judgment is a little skewed and he should check her.
....I'm sorry, but I fail to see how ANYBODY could say "dad vetting it" somehow trumps the fact that IT'S THE WALKING DEAD.
Having never watched the show myself I actually have no idea how violent or graphic it is. I'm not really a tv watcher at all, so I'm not positive I've even seen a commercial for it and only know what I know about it from snippets here. If my H were watching it and didn't shoo our kids out of the room I would probably assume it's fine. But my H is pretty strict on what our kids watch, so that influences my opinion for sure.
It's pretty fucking graphic. There's the one scene where one of the women is forced to take off her shirt and bra and isn't sure if she's about to be raped or not, the scene where the kid on this show is almost raped while his father is beaten senseless next to him while a bunch of people look on and cheer, there's a roving group of cannibals that cut off a guys leg and then eat it in front of him, there's a scene where they line people up in a slaughter house and slit a guys throat so that it spews into a trough, and of course your average, decomposing zombie bodies, and shooting them, shoving spears through their faces. These are just a few off the top of my head.
I'll add that it's interesting that as a board we generally get really indignant when a father is not involved in their children's lives and doing things at home equally to a mother, but then we're going to criticize a mother for intrinsically trusting her husband's judgement with the kids and not re-vetting something he has already let the kid watch? Seems like a pretty awful double standard to me.
Right? She admitted she made a mistake, and people kept hammering on her that "she should have known!" She trusted her husband, and he made a poor choice. Ok, she knows now.
But whatev's kid is going to grow up to have a human skin covered couch.
Do you think that would be comfortable? What would one stuff that with?
Right? She admitted she made a mistake, and people kept hammering on her that "she should have known!" She trusted her husband, and he made a poor choice. Ok, she knows now.
But whatev's kid is going to grow up to have a human skin covered couch.
Do you think that would be comfortable? What would one stuff that with?
I think the seaming wouldn't be the best to lounge on, with all the weird humps from the different pieces.
I'll add that it's interesting that as a board we generally get really indignant when a father is not involved in their children's lives and doing things at home equally to a mother, but then we're going to criticize a mother for intrinsically trusting her husband's judgement with the kids and not re-vetting something he has already let the kid watch? Seems like a pretty awful double standard to me.
Well, the mother is the one posting here so that's what we're talking about. But the father sucks equally, if not more.
I'll add that it's interesting that as a board we generally get really indignant when a father is not involved in their children's lives and doing things at home equally to a mother, but then we're going to criticize a mother for intrinsically trusting her husband's judgement with the kids and not re-vetting something he has already let the kid watch? Seems like a pretty awful double standard to me.
Girl, please. I do not have an issue with a mother intrinsically trusting her husband's judgement. I do have a problem with a mother being all "Well I mean, H thought THE WALKING DEAD was totes ok for my toddler to watch soooooo...."
And then being all "But she got sad when we told her couldn't watch it anymore, sooooo..."
Honestly, until this thread I had no idea how graphic it was. So if my H was letting my kid watch I probably wouldn't have questioned it. And I'm a terrible mother who doesn't watch what my kids watch because it keeps them occupied so I can get shit done.
I think if you're very familiar with it it sounds very easy to assess it isn't a great thing for a kid to watch, but if you've never seen it or even seen a commercial you aren't aware of how graphic and violent it is.
Right? She admitted she made a mistake, and people kept hammering on her that "she should have known!" She trusted her husband, and he made a poor choice. Ok, she knows now.
But whatev's kid is going to grow up to have a human skin covered couch.
And then said that after realizing it WAS bad that they just let her keep watching "only these two episodes", because she got sad when they said no. I don't know why you keep leaving this part out, man. C'mon.
Because I agreed upthread that this wasn't the best choice?
Well, hmmm... I guess I also am flawed and more likely to allow violence like your DH b/c I let my three young boys watch all these 80's shows (you forgot She-Ra).
It's not b/c your DH watched these shows at age 8-10 that he has lapses in what might be appropriate for kids, right?
I think my DH is probably more along the lines of the majority of TV watchers in that violence in movies like Transformers is NBD to him, that it is ok TV for a 6 and 3 year old to watch b.c the car robots are cool and thinks nothing of it.
I don't want them exposed to that and so we have had fights about it before. I am really sensitive to violence on TV and err on the side of caution. thankfully he is on board with our bans against all noncartoon Disney, most of cartoon network and SpongeBob.
Yeah, I think I'm getting more desensitized as the kids get older and I admit to giving up a little on action movies since the boys love them.
But we draw lines based on age and maturity - still DH and I sometimes have different lines. My 3rd grader reads graphic novels about WWI and WWII b/c he's very interested. I sort of hate that DH is like, "sure check that out" and I'm the one who says, "you can check it out, but I have to read it first." I force my oldest and DH to talk a lot about the violence of war and war games and how that is not good for the world, but is part of history. I miss having younger kids and ones that wanted to watch Disney movies.
And then said that after realizing it WAS bad that they just let her keep watching "only these two episodes", because she got sad when they said no. I don't know why you keep leaving this part out, man. C'mon.
also, not one single person said they think this will cause the kid to be a SERIAL KILLER JOHN WAYNE GACY OMG.
I would invite you to go back and read the first 3 pages of that thread. And then the first page of this one.