Did your SO have any say in your birth plan?

[pinotgrig]

If you didn't have a plan per se, did your SO have a say in your preferences? If you had a difference of opinion, how did you resolve?

[chickens987]

Did you watch the mindy project this week? Lol.

[Deleted]

No. My body, my plan.

[linz]

Not really. He just didn't want to look. He stayed by my head and helped push my back up.

[bowies]

His only request was to stay by my head. Other than that, his attitude is 'your body your choice'.

ETA: He was initially upset at the idea of leaving me in case DS needed to go to the NICU. I had to convince him that the doctors would need a parent to make decisions and DS would need more comfort than me.

[starburst]

My H was pretty clueless about the whole birthing process, so he just went along with what I wanted, which wasn't anything special.

[pinotgrig]

Sept 24, 2015 20:05:37 GMT -5 chickens987 said:

Did you watch the mindy project this week? Lol.

Nope. But lol. I need to catch up on that series.

[redheadbaker]

I don't even remember if we discussed a birth plan the first time around.

With the second pregnancy, I told him I wanted to go med-free on purpose (first birth was med-free b/c DS arrived before the epidural), and he was supportive, and went with me to check out a birth center.

[ebeth]

I only asked him about the stuff that pertained to the baby's health care and if he wanted to cut the cord. Most of the L&D stuff was me telling him what I wanted to happen

[tulips]

Nope.

I know he was a little unsure when I mentioned I wanted to go med-free when I was pregnant with our first, but he listened to my reasons and got on board fast.

I had the same preferences for #2, so no issues there either.

[Saudade]

No.

[booboo173]

When in the midst of my labor I was begging for a csection, dh did try to talk me out of it (the Drs asked him too) but ultimately he said it could be my Choice. My son on he other plan decided he wasn't waiting any longer so it didn't matter

[scribellesam]

We were on the same page from what I remember. It would have been a much bigger fight if I had wanted a birth center or home birth - he's very pro-hospital.

[bluelikejazz]

The extent of my 'plan' was to come home with a baby. DH was on board with that

But, no, he didn't really care, and was there to support me in whatever I needed.

[dcn]

No. This time I was trying to decide where to deliver and he was like wherever you want, you are the one that has to push a bay outmod your vagina. Ha.

[anna7602]

Sept 24, 2015 20:08:36 GMT -5 @pnkybrwstr said:

Whether or not our child would get circumcised if he was a boy was technically in my birth plan for #1 (not sure why I thought that needed to be in writing), and DH and I discussed that.

This was true for us, too. I had forgotten. Otherwise, no, DH didn't have any input on the birth plan. I discussed the birth plan beforehand with my doctor both times, so it was helpful to have the circumcision info in there. My second ob/gyn is the one who ended up recommending the mohel we used for DS. 

[AmyRI]

The only time I sought his opinion is when we found out DD was breech and I was in transition already. I knew I wanted to try a vaginal birth if offered the chance, but I was very concerned that my fear of surgery was clouding my judgement. Shortly after I told him he had to decide, the OB sat us down and did a risk assessment with us and we were both more comfortable with the vaginal birth, so we agreed, but if DH had asked me to have a c-section I (think I) would have agreed to it.

Otherwise he went with what I wanted. I didn't make him cut the cord and he didn't make me get an epi.

[teatimefor2]

It was all my decision and he supported me.

He decided if he wanted to cut the cord or not. He didn't for number one and did for number two just due to their birth situations.

[humpforfree]

No. He has been helpful this time in keeping me on track for induction vs just giving in to c-section. I ultimately want a VBAC but was not mentally prepared for it (today), so he is reminding me of my own reasoning. Lol.

[ilikedonuts]

Nope. I never asked him and he knows the person giving birth is in charge

[Queen Mamadala]

I didn't even know what a birth plan was with my first. But I did after she was born and knew I wanted a med-free birth with the next baby. That was the plan, and my exH had no objections at all. He was completely supportive. I planned homebirths with our next two, and no objections.

When H and I started dating I brought up my plans to plan another homebirth in conversation about future children. He was very intrigued and supportive. When the time came he made sure we were able to plan the birth I was hoping for, and was a total champ. He had a feeling I was starting labor soon... before I realized it. Thanks to him I got my water birth.

The only real plan for him was to keep ds distracted if I went into labor before the evening. And I wanted him to cut the cord.

[kdubs923]

Not really at all. I'm the researcher and he normally just defers to my opinion on things I'm more knowledgable about. For DS, while he was breech, I told DH about the ECV. I explained there were risks but I wanted to try it and he was supportive. After that, it was a planned c-section, so not much else to decide.

I had him come to my last OB appointment where I had to sign paperwork to allow the hospital to let me have a Trial of Labor After C-section. The doctor went over risks of laboring and risks of csections. She directed everything to me, not DH at all. Which is fine, I get ultimate say, but I wanted him to hear all the pros/cons for our available options from the doctor herself. I signed the paperwork then and there. After the appointment was over, I asked if he was OK with everything we were saying and he agreed. But yeah, ultimately my decision.

[cajunmom]

I didn't even have a birth plan.

ETA: I will say that if I were pg now I would definitely make different choices. 

[spk926]

I didn't have a written birth plan. My plan was to do what the experts told me needed to be done and have a baby girl in my arms at the end of it. I was very "go with the flow" with all of it so I didn't go into it having already made any decision as far as epidural or anything else goes. So there really wasn't a birth plan for him to have had a say in.

But during labor and delivery when I asked for the epidural or anything else he was completely supportive.

[pooh8402]

I didn't have a plan per se, but did have preferences. I did have DH's input, but really he only had 2 requests: he wanted to cut the cord, and for it to be just the two of us, no mothers. The rest, he let me lead.

[rootbeerfloat]

When I was still debating VBAC vs RCS, he was pushing VBAC. I hadn't really even decided yet, but his insistence annoyed me. I didn't invite him to any appointments after that lol.

[Deleted]

Nope.
Although he did have a preference of having my mom in the room, and I was very "I'll see how I feel when I'm in labor" because my mom tends to annoy the ever loving fuck out of me in stressful situations and I turn into a mega bitch and take it all out on her. She ended up being in there and he was glad to have another support person.

[estrellita]

I didn't really have a plan other than I wanted pain meds and I was going to trust my doctor in knowing if she needed to intervene at all. I figure she's done it a million times so she knows what she's doing (although next time I am 100% asking to be more upright!). Anyways, H didn't really seem to have any strong opinions. He understands that I'm the one experiencing the pain, so I know what I can handle. I didn't have a lot of strong opinions either but now I think next time I will push more for certain things and make sure H is on board and advocating for me!

[namasteak]

DH asked that I deliver DS2 at the birth center instead of at home because the pp hemorrhage after DS1 was traumatizing for him. He said it was up to me but when my midwife agreed with him I knew it was the right choice.

[biogirl21]

Nope. My body, my choice. I did ask him if he wanted to cut the cord.