So, are we talking about that MMM thread..

[cajunmom]

Jan 26, 2016 16:17:33 GMT -5 miso said:

Jan 26, 2016 16:16:53 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

Oh for fuck's sake.

Come at me, bro.

Nah. It's just a small, unimportant corner of the internet. None of us really matter to anyone else here.

[FastHands]

Jan 26, 2016 16:12:50 GMT -5 @stilljustash said:

Jan 26, 2016 15:41:44 GMT -5 FastHands said:

@kirkette , I think a good chunk of people here truly understand your anger (not in a "I know exactly what that's like" way for most of us, but at least in an, "I can understand where she's coming from" sense), even without the really awful specifics you shared. It's unfortunate, and it is a burden that I think is not that difficult to see (when you open your eyes to it), but I'm sure it's impossible to fully grasp without bearing it personally.

i think you're kidding yourself with this one. it seemed pretty clear that the vast majority in no way, shape, or form understood her anger, not even a little bit. i'm not condoning her approach, but i actually find this claim of yours to be incredibly patronizing. like it's all been in her (and the rest of the black women on this board) head all along that people don't understand and aren't listening.

fuck that noise.

Maybe I'm giving people more of a benefit of the doubt than they deserve, and I'll own that, but I think you're misunderstanding my point. In this thread at least (I only skimmed the MMM one, and can't speak to that), it seemed to me that a good chunk of people were picking up what she was putting down, that what Booby was saying was way out of line. That was my point, that those people "get" why she is/was so pissed off, even without the horrible specifics she shared about her kid (ETA again: which is not to say "omg don't share your baggage," but "holy shit that is unfathomably worse than what I could have imagined"). I'm not saying that she's railing against an invisible enemy -- I'm saying that she's not the only one that sees it. 

ETA: in rereading, I can see where it could come off as patronizing, but there's truly no tone there. I meant it as, "I get that you're pissed, and I can see why, but the threat was over the line."

[eclaires]

Here's the thing...how do you stop someone who is basically bullying you? That's what we're talking about here, at least to some degree. And people can disagree on whether it was bullying or not, I really don't give a flying fuck, because it doesn't matter how I see it, or 3000 other people on the internet see it, if the person in question feels bullied/targeted. And I do think there is an element of bullying going on when a poster is regularly popping up in various threads to call out a specific poster, especially when she brings a few people with her to express faux concern, too. Bullies generally do not respond (i.e., stop) to being ignored, or people trying to kill them with kindness. They respond to strength and other people exerting their power. So if that's what it took to stop someone from feeling targeted, I really do not care if it is taken to the level it was here to get it to end. It certainly seems to have worked, right?

[papie]

I am finally almost caught up. Too late to say much. I'm sorry @kirkette has been going through so much. I never quite figured out what @booby said that was so insensitive. But for having met her w few times IRL and having known her here for so long, she is a good person with a dramatic careless posting style at times, which has made her an awesome contributor to this board over the last million years but I understand that she can accidentally hurt people in the way but I don't think she deserved the shit show that happened in here.

Edited.

[cleo29]

Gosh, this as has just been awful. Kirkette, I am sorry for everything going on in your life right now and the stress you are under. I can't imagine how you must feel as a mother, seeing your child changing before your eyes and for reasons that are heartbreaking.

[karenj]

The thing is didn't you say,  @kirkette, that you were going to call people out on their bullshit re: race.  I read various boards here so maybe that was on CEP.  So I don't really see it as a complete shift of who she is. I just figured she was making good on what she said.

Forgive me if I am not remembering that correctly. 

[FastHands]

Yeno what @tooshort and @stilljustash, I just flipped through randomly, aaaand I concede your point. There was way more booby justifying than my brain registered. I was focusing on the things I agreed with, I guess? Idk, but you're right. Lots of justifying. Like, a disheartening amount. So let me rephrase and just speak for my own damn self, lol:

*I* understand that kirkette was pissed off, and I agree that Booby was out of line. I do still think threatening her was out of line, too. Like I said above, that may well be what kirkette was acknowledging by saying that she wants to work on editing her rage.

[flex]

Many of us have made mean-spirited comments (myself included) because of things going on behind the scenes in their lives, but most of the time no one pauses to think about why they are acting that way. It's just dog pile time.

[eclaires]

Jan 26, 2016 17:00:30 GMT -5 peachy said:

Jan 26, 2016 16:51:41 GMT -5 @koko said:

Thanks.  Nobody else has said that.  This entire thread.  Groundbreaking.

Oh come on.  I was responding to eclaire's post.  I didn't realize no one should respond to this thread unless it's something groundbreaking.  

Maybe quote or tag me then?  LOL.

Anyway, good for you.  We disagree.  

[pedanticwench]

My thoughts have been all over the place with regards to this thread. I don't post that much on GBCN anymore, but I do lurk occasionally and I have been following this thread for awhile now.

The takeaway, for me, has been this: while this is a message board and we're not really "talking" to each other face to face or across the table, we have to treat this as "IRL." We can't bully someone, call them crazy or nuts and not expect them to retaliate. I mean, if you felt someone was bullying you on a persistent basis, whatever the reason, wouldn't you feel the need to defend yourself? And wouldn't you go to extreme measures to do so if previous attempts were ignored or brushed aside as scary?

I'm so sorry for what happened to you, Kirkette. And I'm sorry that you felt the need to be so extreme in your response to make yourself heard. I think we all hear you, now.

I hope that this is a wake up call to all of us, including myself, that it's harmful to bully anyone based on anything.

[Deleted]

Jan 26, 2016 16:40:58 GMT -5 papie said:

I am finally almost caught up. Too late to say much. I'm sorry @kirkette has been going through so much. I never quite figured out what @booby said that was so insensitive. But for having met her w few times IRL and having known her here for so long, she is a good person with a dramatic careless posting style at times, which has made her an awesome contributor to this board over the last million years but I understand that she can accidentally hurt people in the way but I don't think she deserved the shit show that happened in here.

Edited.

I don't think you're all caught up.

There was no shit show against booby. Everyone pretty much kept calling Kirkette crazy.

And if you never figured out why kirkette is/was upset, then your 2 cents that booby didn't deserve it don't hold much merit.

And I'll post the micro aggressions chart for you...
www.ucop.edu/academic-personnel-programs/_files/seminars/Tool_Recognizing_Microaggressions.pdf

[fryjack2]

Kirkette, I missed the shackles incident. Holy shit, that's awful.

I get the anger. I get having enough. I'm not black, but i am Middle Eastern. I've educated in a calm tone, I've kept quiet, I've full out raged (I've shared stories on my other home board, April 2012) when encountering ignorant people speaking about Islam or Middle Easterners. It is exhausting. It does suck to have to be even more hyper sensitive to what your children are exposed to or how they are treated.


I'm sorry that you are struggling. I hope therapy helps your little girl. I also hope that this place can still be a place of support for you.

[cleo29]

Jan 26, 2016 17:32:13 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Jan 26, 2016 16:40:58 GMT -5 papie said:

I am finally almost caught up. Too late to say much. I'm sorry @kirkette has been going through so much. I never quite figured out what @booby said that was so insensitive. But for having met her w few times IRL and having known her here for so long, she is a good person with a dramatic careless posting style at times, which has made her an awesome contributor to this board over the last million years but I understand that she can accidentally hurt people in the way but I don't think she deserved the shit show that happened in here.

Edited.

I don't think you're all caught up.

There was no shit show against booby. Everyone pretty much kept calling Kirkette crazy.

And if you never figured out why kirkette is/was upset, then your 2 cents that booby didn't deserve it don't hold much merit.

And I'll post the micro aggressions chart for you...
www.ucop.edu/academic-personnel-programs/_files/seminars/Tool_Recognizing_Microaggressions.pdf

Thanks for the link again.

I used to hear "what are you?" A LOT, which is a bit laughable as I am pretty white, but I guess you can see my mom's Spanish genetics a bit. But the question was annoying because what does it fucking matter??

[sewpinkgal]

I'm mostly just a lurker these days, but I don't want @kirkette to think that her friends are reading and not replying. I'm so sorry that you're struggling so much IRL. I clearly remember that story you shared about your daughter and it still turns my stomach. I'm so sorry that it's still affecting her (and you), though I can see why it's happening.

Just big 'ol hugs lady.

[teflepi]

Jan 26, 2016 16:40:58 GMT -5 papie said:

I am finally almost caught up. Too late to say much. I'm sorry @kirkette has been going through so much. I never quite figured out what @booby said that was so insensitive. But for having met her w few times IRL and having known her here for so long, she is a good person with a dramatic careless posting style at times, which has made her an awesome contributor to this board over the last million years but I understand that she can accidentally hurt people in the way but I don't think she deserved the shit show that happened in here.

Edited.

No.  It was stated multiple times that she hones in on Kirkette.  That is bullying. Full stop.  Fuck.

[teflepi]

Jan 26, 2016 17:00:30 GMT -5 peachy said:

Jan 26, 2016 16:51:41 GMT -5 @koko said:

Thanks.  Nobody else has said that.  This entire thread.  Groundbreaking.

Oh come on.  I was responding to eclaire's post.  I didn't realize no one should respond to this thread unless it's something groundbreaking.  

No.  again, people have already made this point.  So many damn times.

[pedanticwench]

Jan 26, 2016 17:45:24 GMT -5 peachy said:

Jan 26, 2016 17:31:22 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

So, again no snark intended, what would you have done if you were in my shoes after trying to be patient, trying to ignore it, asking the person to stop, moving to a different topic on different days, and the aggressor just continues to follow and gas light you , call you crazy and trashy, laugh, and throw it in your face, again and again, even as people pointed out the racism and microagression to her. What would you have done? How would you have gotten those actions to stop?

What would I have done? Hit the block button, ignore or take it up with a mod if I thought their behavior was harassment.

You know, in a perfect world, this is a logical response. But, the bullying/harassment/whatever did not occur in a vacuum and it doesn't really make sense to treat it that way.

[sfy]

Jan 26, 2016 17:28:49 GMT -5 @koko said:

Jan 26, 2016 16:40:58 GMT -5 papie said:

I am finally almost caught up. Too late to say much. I'm sorry @kirkette has been going through so much. I never quite figured out what @booby said that was so insensitive. But for having met her w few times IRL and having known her here for so long, she is a good person with a dramatic careless posting style at times, which has made her an awesome contributor to this board over the last million years but I understand that she can accidentally hurt people in the way but I don't think she deserved the shit show that happened in here.

Edited.

I don't.....

K...yeah, so, I'm out.  Good luck with this.  You know there's always a place for you on MM, right?  Lol of course you do.  Good night!

[curtains]

I know I haven't said much about any of this but it is only because I know I am white, therefore privileged and happy for the chance to learn as much as possible.

I keep passing the lessons I am getting here and cep to my dd so hopefully she doesn't feel as clueless as me when she is 42. Hopefully she is an advocate and stands up for what she believes is right and doesn't sit silently on the sidelines.

@kirkette I am glad you never block the people that upset you. I am glad you say something, even if I don't understand at first it is important. And it sucks that you have to play a strong role in a fight you never asked for.

[teflepi]

Jan 26, 2016 17:44:46 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Jan 26, 2016 17:25:18 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

A shit show against booby?

This is why myself, and other POC need really good allies, and can't fight this stuff alone. Some people will never see what happened. They are still going to keep trying to make booby out to be the victim here, and make me the "scary" "crazy" one.
Smh

I am sorry I did not speak out more.  This took me a while to get through and, if I am honest, I was worried how long your posts were and sometimes hard to follow.  I don't follow any other boards except really CEP so I didn't even know the history with booby or with v.  I am attuned to it now and the number of times i heard "I know booby and she isn't racist" well, that is the problem RIGHT FUKING THERE.   I need to learn to just start saying shit for the sake of my son because, honest to God, fuck this noise in here.

[Deleted]

Jan 26, 2016 17:55:12 GMT -5 @246baje said:

Jan 26, 2016 16:40:58 GMT -5 papie said:

I am finally almost caught up. Too late to say much. I'm sorry @kirkette has been going through so much. I never quite figured out what @booby said that was so insensitive. But for having met her w few times IRL and having known her here for so long, she is a good person with a dramatic careless posting style at times, which has made her an awesome contributor to this board over the last million years but I understand that she can accidentally hurt people in the way but I don't think she deserved the shit show that happened in here.

Edited.

Are you simple?

ma'am, have a seat in the corner with iammalcolmx --------------->

[AHappierHour]

@kirkette I'm so sorry for everything that has went on in these threads and what has happen to you IRL. (( hugs ))

[papie]

Jan 26, 2016 17:55:12 GMT -5 @246baje said:

Jan 26, 2016 16:40:58 GMT -5 papie said:

I am finally almost caught up. Too late to say much. I'm sorry @kirkette has been going through so much. I never quite figured out what @booby said that was so insensitive. But for having met her w few times IRL and having known her here for so long, she is a good person with a dramatic careless posting style at times, which has made her an awesome contributor to this board over the last million years but I understand that she can accidentally hurt people in the way but I don't think she deserved the shit show that happened in here.

Edited.

Are you simple?

Who the fuck are you anyway?

I can't stay in here seeing booby being repeatedly called a racist because she is not. Does she have a beef with kirkette? Obviously. But she is not the one who made the threats in here.

I'm fuckibg out for the night.

[Deleted]

Jan 26, 2016 18:01:59 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Jan 26, 2016 17:55:12 GMT -5 @246baje said:

Are you simple?

ma'am, have a seat in the corner with iammalcolmx --------------->

Are there still Cinnamon Bun Oreos over there?

@kirkette I'm also sorry for not speaking up earlier in this thread. I'm really conflict adverse & promise to try harder. You're my friend & you deserved better from me.

[zootownbella]

I feel like the things Booby said to Kirkette are being overblown in the last few pages of this thread. Kirkette's feelings are valid, and poignant, in her explanation for her behavior, but that doesn't mean we need to construe another poster's behavior into something more than it was. Maybe she crossed a line. Maybe she shouldn't mess with posters she thinks are crazy. fine. 

As a recap-

As far as I can tell, it "started" in the mysterious white powder thread, where many people agreed with Booby's assessment- "Kirkette I've had my eye on you lately. I actually think you are a bit touched in the head. Unless maybe you are punking us with your online persona. Idk.
"


Read more: pandce.proboards.com/user/155/recent#ixzz3yOQPrEww 

Then, in the middle class "young philanthropist" thread, again where many posters expressed the same thoughts "i think it's awesome that Kirkette keeps bringing all this insane material to the gcbn. how do you go from being normal and quirky to the shit you've been spewing on here in the last month? you'd think your 'upbringing' and your wasp-i-ness (lol FOREVER) would have taught you some grace and subtlety. oh, and some self-awareness and social skills. you are a god damn trip.
 


Read more: pandce.proboards.com/user/155/recent#ixzz3yOQhyQ5l

Same thread, when someone defends K:

Epitome of grace?? Gtfo" and "She sounds like a god damned fool. That's why." And "it's not just this thread, but a culmination of her recent posts. I'm surprised at how committed some of you are to defending her. As another wise nestie concluded: she is becoming a parody of herself.
"


Read more: pandce.proboards.com/user/155/recent#ixzz3yOR6dELi

Then the confessions/flammables thread yesterday, you all know what was said, but what posters considered Kirkette's overreaction started from, again after other poster's agreed and tagged Booby for support: "I know I've been hard on you lately. That's really bc it was honestly funny (in the entertaining message board sort of way) - at first. Now? It is not funny, it's concerning. It's more pronounced and the frequency is escalating. You sound all jumbled up, but most of all, you are lacking some amount of self-awareness or even e-social code. You can't seem to see what we're talking about (w/r/t people telling you you sound crazy). A lot of people aside from me have expressed it and you should consider trying to understand why.
"


Read more: pandce.proboards.com/user/155/recent#ixzz3yOS75x9w

How this could be construed as the type of bullying that Kirkette and others are portraying it as now....idk. Are posters not allowed to call people out for posting foolish things?  Maybe it crossed a line, but its not the repeated, racially-tinged, vicious attacks on POC as Kirkette is making it out to be. 

I realize I'll get a SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE gif, but whatevs, this mob mentality has morphed perceptions about Booby's behavior to something more egregious than it really was, and nobody is speaking rationally about what really went down. 

[scottyderp]

GROW A PAIR

Whoever the eff that is above.

Continue being "surprised" when a genuinely nice nestie is being defended.  Mmkay.

[pedanticwench]

Jan 26, 2016 17:59:33 GMT -5 peachy said:

Jan 26, 2016 17:53:41 GMT -5 pedanticwench said:

You know, in a perfect world, this is a logical response. But, the bullying/harassment/whatever did not occur in a vacuum and it doesn't really make sense to treat it that way.

It's up to each person how to handle it.  I don't expect everyone to agree.  I'm just saying making threats like that is unacceptable to me.

Is the bullying that led up to the threats unacceptable to you, as well?

[05heel]

That's why we needed the poll! Lol. I said like 8 pages ago that booby ain't shit when it comes to stuff like this. And you all know that I remember everything and am not shy about expressing myself. Like I said, who cares if some of you don't see it? How is that relevant, unless you're just itching to make yourself look like a dummy? Because what you're also saying is that you don't care that I can see it, which says quite a bit. If that's how you feel, I'd prefer that you say it so we can have a real discussion. As it stands, the person in question barely gives a shit. That's all that matters. At least with the poll there could have been a baseline consensus for the dimmer among us to work from. And yes, I'm being TIC because I know that a poll would have caused just as much shock and angst as the threats. So as always, none of this was worth my time.

[pixy0stix]

Well, there's nothing weirder than a 4 post poster showing up in the thread with posts...

[miso]

:: whispering ::
I did my best to be rational.