So, are we talking about that MMM thread..

[FastHands]

Jan 26, 2016 21:45:21 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Jan 26, 2016 21:18:26 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Hey, kirkette, while we're owning our shit, would you mind taking a second look at this? Thanks :-)

I know my elitist* ass is smart. There are a shit ton of hella smart moms here from all walks of life. Just don't make me buy a fucking mini van.

Elitism is very common for POC, who are trained to work twice as hard, or harder to be considered just as good.

So each time v, Booby, or any other white posters
would attempt to slap my hand, mock my upbringing, knock black ass down a few pegs, to put me in my place, by implying that I was an elitist, or only had friends who went to private college, I wanted to clap back with
" Are you calling me elitist? Thank you, bitch, I try! Calling me an elitist is the nicest fucking thing your tacky ass has ever said to me".

I've always thought the expression about the need to "be twice as good, work twice as hard, for half as much" is a powerful one.

[laurack]

@kirkette I am so impressed you stayed in this thread. You seem like a very strong person. I did think you seemed crazy for a while earlier but now I see that you are not. I apologize.

I've learned a lot. I continue to the longer I stay and the more I read and force myself to fight against my internal urge to "brush it off". I realize it's easy for me to "brush" these things off because I'm white and don't actually have to deal with any of it. Anyway Thanks for sticking around.

Also I'm really sorry about your daughter I don't know the story but it sounds horrific. I'm sorry.

[Deleted]

I'm really glad I've stuck it out and read all of this. It definitely gives me a lot to think about.

And I had a minor panic attack when i saw I was tagged in here. Lol

[Jermys]

Jan 26, 2016 19:28:21 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

And really what have I ever done to booby other than occasionally pray for her at church like after her house got robbed, and when she sounded like she was crying for help and attention with her fascinations with suicide photos. I pray for posters who I can tell are struggling here, just like I keep praying for scottyderp to find peace and good things in her life, for @jermey's babies, and for @squirrleymom and Forest, and for anyone else who's need a few kind thoughts from this community.

I had nothing against Booby until kept provoking me, after I told her, and multiple people told her to stop.

She can be racist. She can keep posting here under her regular name. I'm not trying to take a public message board away from anyone. She probably really needs this place, again, she comes off as extremely lonely and miserable. Shutting people out, and making it so they can't participate is not my style. However, she can't keep following me around posting hateful things Regina George/ David Duke style for laughs and posts to likes ratios, at the expense of most of the woman of color on this board with out coming out, and owning her shit. Own your shit, Booby! I may be blunt, out of touch,and kind of an asshole sometimes, but I am not racist, mean, and hateful as fuck to other people in real life, or via some online code you felt I was violating. Whatever the fuck that means. The only code I abide by is fucking decency and being human to people no matter their standing or lot in life. It's how I roll motherfucker!

I'm not out for popularity. Not when I was a kid, and sure as hell now that I'm a grown ass woman, trying to raise decent children. I was just trying to stand up for what's right.

I'm a filthy heathen and I'll embrace those prayers with the loving spirit in which they're given. I'm sure I'll need all the prayers and good thoughts you can send when I add yet another child into this crazy life

[cjeanette]

Jan 26, 2016 21:17:43 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Jan 26, 2016 20:59:58 GMT -5 pinkeggs said:

I disagree. I hear you loud and clear and I didn't need elle to validate you. You did that yourself.

Thank you.
But deep down, I know some people needed to hear it from elle. Too many, who may have still thought I was a trashy classless liar, because Booby is slick. Elle is the opitomy of white wealth, grace, and class. I don't blame them, especially if they know nothing about people black people except what is portrayed poorly on they tv. They probably have never encountered a wealthy* black person, or wealthy be person of color. Elle and I live down the street from each other. She, her husband, and the dogs are wonderful hosts with impeccable taste.

*That's right. I'm not talking about rich, I'm talking about wealthy.
I refuse to say affluent, as affluence is for flashy racist home made hot coco loving bitches, who live in McMansions, in Kansas City, and won't come near poor kids, or their teachers, with a ten foot pole. They are probably secretly living off their credit cards so they can buy a new mini van. Hello @amydm, if you are dirty lurking. How's the hot coco treating you in this wintry weather?

Hey, leave Kansas City out of this

I type while sipping cocoa and baileys....

[scottyderp]

Liberal feminists target your kids and make them feel bad about their skin/hair/intelligence? I believe you, not that you need me to, but whatthefuck? I thought most liberal types, and feminists, especially, would not be judging color of skin (intentionally, both are bad, I realize).

This liberal feminist would probably stick her foot in her mouth a few times, but not what you mentioned. Also, I would not try to get with your H. I would tease you about your fanciness because I'm envious and I don't like most Republicans. Let's hang out.

[Jermys]

Jan 26, 2016 22:36:34 GMT -5 scottyderp said:

Liberal feminists target your kids and make them feel bad about their skin/hair/intelligence? I believe you, not that you need me to, but whatthefuck? I thought most liberal types, and feminists, especially, would not be judging color of skin (intentionally, both are bad, I realize).

This liberal feminist would probably stick her foot in her mouth a few times, but not what you mentioned. Also, I would not try to get with your H. I would tease you about your fanciness because I'm envious and I don't like most Republicans. Let's hang out.

No joke, it's a thing. They're called White Feminists, and they are about feminism as it pertains to them, but no one else. They believe women got the vote in 1920, which is true for white women, but black women weren't able to exercise that right until the sixties. 

[scottyderp]

Jan 26, 2016 22:41:08 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Jan 26, 2016 22:36:34 GMT -5 scottyderp said:

Liberal feminists target your kids and make them feel bad about their skin/hair/intelligence? I believe you, not that you need me to, but whatthefuck? I thought most liberal types, and feminists, especially, would not be judging color of skin (intentionally, both are bad, I realize).

This liberal feminist would probably stick her foot in her mouth a few times, but not what you mentioned. Also, I would not try to get with your H. I would tease you about your fanciness because I'm envious and I don't like most Republicans. Let's hang out.

No joke, it's a thing. They're called White Feminists, and they are about feminism as it pertains to them, but no one else. They believe women got the vote in 1920, which is true for white women, but black women weren't able to exercise that right until the sixties. 

whuuuut  gross

[05heel]

Jan 26, 2016 22:36:34 GMT -5 scottyderp said:

Liberal feminists target your kids and make them feel bad about their skin/hair/intelligence? I believe you, not that you need me to, but whatthefuck? I thought most liberal types, and feminists, especially, would not be judging color of skin (intentionally, both are bad, I realize).

This liberal feminist would probably stick her foot in her mouth a few times, but not what you mentioned. Also, I would not try to get with your H. I would tease you about your fanciness because I'm envious and I don't like most Republicans. Let's hang out.

yes. It's why I avoid any situation where I'm one of fewer than five black people in the room. The only exception is if I'm being paid and covered by an airtight HR policy. It's called being the fly in the sugar bowl. You may think you're enjoying the sweet feast, but trust that you're likely a very unwelcome sight. Lol. Not my scene.

[Jermys]

Jan 26, 2016 22:44:30 GMT -5 scottyderp said:

Jan 26, 2016 22:41:08 GMT -5 Jermys said:

No joke, it's a thing. They're called White Feminists, and they are about feminism as it pertains to them, but no one else. They believe women got the vote in 1920, which is true for white women, but black women weren't able to exercise that right until the sixties. 

whuuuut  gross

Of course it goes MUCH deeper than that, but yep. Once your eyes are open, it's just EVERYWHERE. And the further down the rabbit hole you go, the less you're shocked. It legit made me chuckle when people were all "OMG!" at the Making a Murderer thing, because I was not surprised in the least. No, that's not true, I was surprised that they did that shit to a white dude, but not that the system failed him completely. 

[konapoppy]

Jan 26, 2016 22:49:24 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Jan 26, 2016 22:44:30 GMT -5 scottyderp said:

whuuuut  gross

It legit made me chuckle when people were all "OMG!" at the Making a Murderer thing, because I was not surprised in the least. No, that's not true, I was surprised that they did that shit to a white dude, but not that the system failed him completely. 

Yes! Someone posted how this show opened their eyes to how our system is a failure.

I was like this is the show that did it? Not every day on the news? Or looking around you? This Netflix series is what did it?

That post got ignored, of course.

[scottyderp]

Jan 26, 2016 22:49:24 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Jan 26, 2016 22:44:30 GMT -5 scottyderp said:

whuuuut  gross

Of course it goes MUCH deeper than that, but yep. Once your eyes are open, it's just EVERYWHERE. And the further down the rabbit hole you go, the less you're shocked. It legit made me chuckle when people were all "OMG!" at the Making a Murderer thing, because I was not surprised in the least. No, that's not true, I was surprised that they did that shit to a white dude, but not that the system failed him completely. 

I have not seen MOAM.  Someone mentioned something about a dead cat, and I was out. 

I can only imagine.  I am reading things, and I'm already angry.  I'm white, if I was (were? my grammar is leaving me) black, I am certain I would be pissed, 24/7.  I do not like being treated like less than/stared at/you name it.  That stuff happened to me growing up, but it's obviously different.  I wondered if people became numb to it.  I'm going to stop writing now, because I basically know nothing.

[FrankieM20]

Jan 26, 2016 22:53:18 GMT -5 @stilljustash said:

Jan 26, 2016 22:49:24 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Of course it goes MUCH deeper than that, but yep. Once your eyes are open, it's just EVERYWHERE. And the further down the rabbit hole you go, the less you're shocked. It legit made me chuckle when people were all "OMG!" at the Making a Murderer thing, because I was not surprised in the least. No, that's not true, I was surprised that they did that shit to a white dude, but not that the system failed him completely. 

I can't tell you how many times H said this exact thing while watching the show. "I can't believe he's WHITE!! this is some black people treatment!!"

If it had happened to a black person there wouldn't have even been a documentary. Much like Kirkette needing to get the white posters support, I doubt people would even realize that these injustices happen all. The. Time. If the subjects of MOAM had been black.

Also, as a lurker I learn so much from these threads and as much as it sucks, people are listening and changing because of it. So thank you. 

[Jermys]

Jan 26, 2016 23:09:29 GMT -5 @aliciaroset said:

White feminism is a big problem.
I read yesterday that I shouldn't be using the word 'intersectional' to define my feminism because it was initially coined by a black women but has been essentially usurped by white feminists.
This frustrates me because the notion of intersectionality is so important to me, but I want to be conscious of the words I choose.
What I'm saying is help? I'm trying?

Doesn't matter what you call it as long as you're doing it, you know? Just keep learning and growing and you'll be good!

[gretchenindisguise]

Jan 26, 2016 20:58:51 GMT -5 dowagercountess said:

Jan 26, 2016 20:58:16 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

no go go for elle . She's good and kind. She's validating my upbringing. If she didn't post what she did, I think many wouldn't be listening to my message. I needed elle 's help. She helped.

LOL. Alright - but I think there are better ways to validate than your posture. 

Maybe you had to be there to see it. I am kind of ashamed to admit that I still remember it.

[scottyderp]

84,164 views?!!!!!!

[gretchenindisguise]

Jan 26, 2016 22:41:08 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Jan 26, 2016 22:36:34 GMT -5 scottyderp said:

Liberal feminists target your kids and make them feel bad about their skin/hair/intelligence? I believe you, not that you need me to, but whatthefuck? I thought most liberal types, and feminists, especially, would not be judging color of skin (intentionally, both are bad, I realize).

This liberal feminist would probably stick her foot in her mouth a few times, but not what you mentioned. Also, I would not try to get with your H. I would tease you about your fanciness because I'm envious and I don't like most Republicans. Let's hang out.

No joke, it's a thing. They're called White Feminists, and they are about feminism as it pertains to them, but no one else. They believe women got the vote in 1920, which is true for white women, but black women weren't able to exercise that right until the sixties. 

Can I post something really embarassing?

I didn't put 2 and 2 together until this post. I'm pretty sure I even made a fb post about the anniversary of the 19th ammendment. Fuck.

[Deleted]

I'm a lurker, and I've read both threads now. I appreciate the repeated posting of the microaggression chart. I read it. I understand. I even used it to have a discussion with my husband so he too can understand and avoid those things. We had a meaningful discussion at dinner about race, and how we want to raise our daughter to be better.

So, some people may not be willing to listen and absorb all the things the WOC are saying here, but from what I'm reading here, far more are listening, understanding, and evaluating. I appreciate so much the patience exhibited by the WOC here in explaining their viewpoint. My privilege doesn't always allow me to see it from that perspective, and I'm glad this place exists to show me that other perspective.

[Jermys]

Jan 26, 2016 23:35:59 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

Jan 26, 2016 22:41:08 GMT -5 Jermys said:

No joke, it's a thing. They're called White Feminists, and they are about feminism as it pertains to them, but no one else. They believe women got the vote in 1920, which is true for white women, but black women weren't able to exercise that right until the sixties. 

Can I post something really embarassing?

I didn't put 2 and 2 together until this post. I'm pretty sure I even made a fb post about the anniversary of the 19th ammendment. Fuck.

But why would you? It's not something that smacks you in the face all. the. time., and it's not something that most people know. I didn't know until like a year ago when I got smacked down about it. But the difference is that now that you know better, you won't just sweep it under the rug. That's really the point of intersectionality as I see it. Once you know better, you speak up and do better. Each one teach one. Etc.

[gretchenindisguise]

Jan 26, 2016 23:45:58 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Jan 26, 2016 23:35:59 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

Can I post something really embarassing?

I didn't put 2 and 2 together until this post. I'm pretty sure I even made a fb post about the anniversary of the 19th ammendment. Fuck.

But why would you? It's not something that smacks you in the face all. the. time., and it's not something that most people know. I didn't know until like a year ago when I got smacked down about it. But the difference is that now that you know better, you won't just sweep it under the rug. That's really the point of intersectionality as I see it. Once you know better, you speak up and do better. Each one teach one. Etc.

Yes, I just like to know everything and hate not knowing things. Especially when they're so obvious to other people. I have issues.

But we each have our arenas. The MOAM is my arena. I haven't watched it, and likely won't, because it's same shit different day. I am glad that it's finally getting some publicity. Same with Serial and Adnan Syed. It's frustrating that people are finally paying attention to it - but hey - at least people are finally paying attention to it. 

[savan]

I admit I backed out of the thread on MMM yesterday without bothering to finish it. I avoid confrontation at all costs and it made me uncomfortable that there was a @kirkette pile on when I've always respected her and her advice. I realize now that it was cowardly and an example of my privilege that I can just choose to ignore race related discussions. I am learning and I read this thread in it's entirety. I will do better in the future.


Also, I had the same thoughts as @koko as I read this thread. I remember the numerous times that @wandering has been antagonized over her friendship with gypsy and doubt the same will be done with booby's friends.

[meshaliuknits]

Jan 26, 2016 23:42:42 GMT -5 @koko said:

Jan 26, 2016 23:26:52 GMT -5 scottyderp said:

84,164 views?!!!!!!

Not a safe place, indeed.

At least 1000 of those are me. It took me forEVer to get through it.

[killercupcake]

I'm sorry @kirkette . I don't know if I just wasn't paying attention to what was going on or if I was just totally unaware that it was happening, but I'll be more alert now.

[Deleted]

@kirkette (now that I am at the end of the thread...I think) Sorry for not chiming in earlier, but by the time I would reach the "end" it wouldn't be the end anymore and most of what I would be thinking would have been already colored. I know that we don't really interact, hell, I don't really with many people on here regularly, but I got what you were saying, didn't think you were nutso, and do my best to help point out when people are being racist douchenozzles. (Which is, sadly, a full time job with my dad/paternal family...)

[bronxgirl]

Jan 27, 2016 0:16:06 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Jan 27, 2016 0:03:11 GMT -5 kooshball said:

Kirkette is not here for it, and neither is Melody, the newest American Girl Doll, set to be released this summer pennypenny !

:Y:   (heart)

[noodle]

Count me among the people upping the views without contributing. So many people have said what I'm thinking, and far better that I ever could. Thank you to all of you that have had the patience to share your experience, the kindness to educate, and the humors and strength to keep coming back for more discussion and debate. I have stayed quiet so I could listen, observe, reflect and learn. I am proud to be part of this community, and this has been a great reminder to me to be more aware of my words and actions.

[AHappierHour]

@kirkette I will forever think you when I hear that song now! <3 <3 it will also remind me of this thread.

[Deleted]

Jan 27, 2016 0:02:01 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Kirkette back in.
Can someone please link my theme song, please?
Because, "All I Do Is Win, Win, Win no matter what! ".

But, I'm neither techy, nor on my lap top, so I can't link you tube videos.

This is funny (well, kind of) because it was the theme song for me and the other woman in my old department while we were in a sexual harassment situation that our employers refused to acknowledge or do anything about. I still play it & Ambitionz as Ridah to pump myself up. 

[Deleted]

I have learned so much from reading these threads that often, I cringe thinking back to the sheltered, Midwestern, small town girl I was. If I've learned anything, it's that when I know better, I do better, and I hope that as uncomfortable as these conversations can be, that we keep having them because being comfortable hasn't gotten us anywhere as a society.

And to @kirkette, especially, I want to applaud your courage in fighting for what is right and I will never, ever get the thought of what happened to your daughter out of my head. 

[CurlyQ284]

Jan 27, 2016 8:25:21 GMT -5 @beagle said:

I feel the need to post to acknowledge that I've read the thread and am reflecting on how I can become a stronger ally, both on the board and IRL. I'm generally conflict averse and find it difficult to articulate my feelings, so I usually avoid posts. I'm sorry I've avoided these topics in the past,and resolve to reflect and do better in the future.

This is me too. Although it's not just controversial topics, I people start throwing down over potty training I'm equally likely to make myself scarce on here.

I hear you @kirkette.