I need to put this somewhere

[cuddlyevil]

It's totally possible to separate and work on things. But it will only work if you both commit to do the work.

Good luck.

{{{HUG}}}

[papie]

(((hugs)))

[janegold]

Hugs, carrots. This sounds so difficult. I hope things move in a positive direction, whichever way that may be.

[trafficgirl]

I'm sorry you're going through this carrots.

I don't think it's naïve to think you can still work on things when separated, as long as both parties are actually actively working. It sound like you are, and hopefully he will too.

[TR]

(((carrotsmakemefat))) I'm so sorry you're going through this

[BaliHai]

No advice, just hugs. I hope you both find what you're looking for in the coming year. ((carrotsmakemefat))

[liverandonions]

I'm sorry. My parents separated when I was 4 and reconciled for another 17 years. Sometimes the separation along with the counseling can be the fix you need. Good luck.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry you are going thru this but I think it is best. DH and I are on the verge of doing the same and it is so, so hard. so Many hugs to you and I just realized I owe you a PM.

[intentionalsnarkshark]

Hugs. I'm glad you're able to get some space and focus on you.

[panicfoot]

(((( carrotsmakemefat))))

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[margarita]

I'm sorry, carrots.

(((hugs)))

[dana2006]

I'm very sorry for what must have been a very difficult time. I don't have words of wisdom, but wish you the very best. Hope you both find peace and clarity. Hugs.

[fluffernutter]

I'm really sorry you are going through this. Separating was very hard for us, but it turned out to be the best thing for our relationship.

[eb777888]

I'm sorry carrots. I absolutely think you can separate and still work on things. From your previous posts and this post, it seems like the right thing for you guys right now. (((hugs)))

[bcv513]

I'm sorry carrots. I absolutely think that separating and working on your relationship can make you guys stronger in the end. ((hugs))

[snorky]

My h and I were separated in 2014 for about seven months. We got so far as filing for divorce and came very close to finalizing before we reconciled. We have been back together for a little over a year now and I am not going to lie, it is really fucking hard. That is great that you guys are setting up parameters beforehand- we did not do this and because of that, sometimes our difficulties seem insurmountable to me. I wish you the best of luck during this time.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry Carrots. I do think it's possible to recover from a separation.

[Gato]

I'm sorry, Carrots. (((HUGS)))

Every situation is different, but I'm not sure staying in the same household is a good idea. When I was having major issues with XH's honesty, we stayed together, and I think that made things too easy. Like, most of the time, we could kind of sweep it under the rug and pretend things were getting better. If he had moved out, we might have taken the rift more seriously and worked harder. Or I should say, HE might have worked harder. We didn't separate until I was truly done.

[flex]

((hugs to you))

But to answer your question, I do NOT think it's naive to hope that a separated couple can productively work things out. As long as BOTH parties are willing to work towards that end.

[MixedBerryJam]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, and that he is dealing with his issues, too. Hugs.

[kdmac]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I think it is possible to work on things with your h while being separated. I hope you and your h are able to both get the help and support you need.

[littleduck]

((hugs)) I agree with flex, I don't think you're naive. Best of luck to you.

[pantsparty]

Hugs, carrots. I'm sorry you're going through this

[rockpaperscissors]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I definitely think time and separation can help! Hugs to you.

[JLV]

I am sorry you are going through this and I am thinking of you.

I think that if you and your H put the time and effort into making things work, you can definitely stay together after a separation. Good luck with everything.

[fezzik]

((hugs))

[gerberdaisy]

I'm very sorry for what you're going through. If you both are committed I think it is definitely possible to work through issues and end up stronger. I only know from my experience with XH, but staying together in the house was not a good idea when we weren't getting along. (((hugs)))

[Nonny]

((hugs))

[jreeds]

I'm so sorry. I do think people can work out issues through separation. I agree with pp though, it takes work from both parties.

[pugz]

no real advice, just hugs for you carrotsmakemefat,