Post by trafficgirl on Feb 22, 2016 14:48:02 GMT -5
I'm sorry you're going through this carrots.
I don't think it's naïve to think you can still work on things when separated, as long as both parties are actually actively working. It sound like you are, and hopefully he will too.
Post by liverandonions on Feb 22, 2016 14:49:08 GMT -5
I'm sorry. My parents separated when I was 4 and reconciled for another 17 years. Sometimes the separation along with the counseling can be the fix you need. Good luck.
I'm so sorry you are going thru this but I think it is best. DH and I are on the verge of doing the same and it is so, so hard. so Many hugs to you and I just realized I owe you a PM.
I'm very sorry for what must have been a very difficult time. I don't have words of wisdom, but wish you the very best. Hope you both find peace and clarity. Hugs.
I'm sorry carrots. I absolutely think you can separate and still work on things. From your previous posts and this post, it seems like the right thing for you guys right now. (((hugs)))
My h and I were separated in 2014 for about seven months. We got so far as filing for divorce and came very close to finalizing before we reconciled. We have been back together for a little over a year now and I am not going to lie, it is really fucking hard. That is great that you guys are setting up parameters beforehand- we did not do this and because of that, sometimes our difficulties seem insurmountable to me. I wish you the best of luck during this time.
Every situation is different, but I'm not sure staying in the same household is a good idea. When I was having major issues with XH's honesty, we stayed together, and I think that made things too easy. Like, most of the time, we could kind of sweep it under the rug and pretend things were getting better. If he had moved out, we might have taken the rift more seriously and worked harder. Or I should say, HE might have worked harder. We didn't separate until I was truly done.
But to answer your question, I do NOT think it's naive to hope that a separated couple can productively work things out. As long as BOTH parties are willing to work towards that end.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I'm sorry you're going through this. I think it is possible to work on things with your h while being separated. I hope you and your h are able to both get the help and support you need.
I am sorry you are going through this and I am thinking of you.
I think that if you and your H put the time and effort into making things work, you can definitely stay together after a separation. Good luck with everything.
Post by gerberdaisy on Feb 22, 2016 15:11:03 GMT -5
I'm very sorry for what you're going through. If you both are committed I think it is definitely possible to work through issues and end up stronger. I only know from my experience with XH, but staying together in the house was not a good idea when we weren't getting along. (((hugs)))