Did V leave us?

[aurora]

I think so, possibly related to the shakeup that wa prompted by a member (not active on MM) receiving an inappropriate package at home and the many charged discussions as a result.

I don't actually know that's why V left, but it was around the same time and I think she got called out for some of her remarks on the topic.

Someon with a better memory correct me if I'm wrong.

[konapoppy]

She was part of the racist harassment of a member of our community (I should clarify: not the sending of the package, to my knowledge). Instead of acknowledging her behavior and apologizing, she posted about random things (like Turbo Tax). When finally pinned for the umpteenth time to own up a month later, she said she was at a funeral and was saddened about what happened to the poster who received the package. She still did not acknowledge her actions that contributed to a hostile environment for many of our poster. Since that time she has been quiet.

[winnieandwine]

Apr 10, 2016 8:34:29 GMT -5 konapoppy said:

As aurora said, she was part of the racist harassment of a member of our community (I should clarify: not the sending of the package, to my knowledge). Instead of acknowledging her behavior and apologizing, she posted about random things (like Turbo Tax). When finally pinned for the umpteenth time to own up a month later, she said she was at a funeral and was saddened about what happened to the poster who received the package. She still did not acknowledge her actions that contributed to a hostile environment for many of our poster. Since that time she has been quiet.

huh - did v and smo ever interact w/ one another?

I saw what went down between v and kirkette but this feels misleading to me.

please correct me if I'm wrong.

[konapoppy]

Apr 10, 2016 8:43:26 GMT -5 winnieandwine said:

Apr 10, 2016 8:34:29 GMT -5 konapoppy said:

As aurora said, she was part of the racist harassment of a member of our community (I should clarify: not the sending of the package, to my knowledge). Instead of acknowledging her behavior and apologizing, she posted about random things (like Turbo Tax). When finally pinned for the umpteenth time to own up a month later, she said she was at a funeral and was saddened about what happened to the poster who received the package. She still did not acknowledge her actions that contributed to a hostile environment for many of our poster. Since that time she has been quiet.

huh - did v and smo ever interact w/ one another?

I saw what went down between v and kirkette but this feels misleading to me.

please correct me if I'm wrong.

Not Smo. It was kirkette. That is why I clarified that it wasn't the sending of the package incident. I will remove the aurora part that I think is what seems misleading. 

[aurora]

Apr 10, 2016 8:34:29 GMT -5 konapoppy said:

She was part of the racist harassment of a member of our community (I should clarify: not the sending of the package, to my knowledge). Instead of acknowledging her behavior and apologizing, she posted about random things (like Turbo Tax). When finally pinned for the umpteenth time to own up a month later, she said she was at a funeral and was saddened about what happened to the poster who received the package. She still did not acknowledge her actions that contributed to a hostile environment for many of our poster. Since that time she has been quiet.

Ok, this confirms my memory. I didn't want to be quite so bold since I wasn't sure I remembered correctly.

[cilantro]

I'm fairly certain that when the suggestions started that she was the one who sent the package, she decided to leave the community. But I haven't talked to her to confirm.

For what it's worth, I've known her for 8 years. I will stake my life on the fact that she was not the sender.

[sfy]

Two things I said I would put hefty sums of money on back when this whole situation blew up:

1) that v didn't send a package, wasn't involved and had no knowledge about the package; and
2) that she would leave this board before expressing any real remorse for whatever part she played in contributing to the drama that occurred before the package was sent.

Personally, I've always enjoyed v and miss her posts here (this will be a UO with some, I realize, but it's true, so I'm saying it), but if I ever said something that hurt someone here, I would apologize truly. If that person misunderstood my intent or misconstrued my meaning, I would explain...but I just had a gut feeling that would absolutely not happen in this instance. It's funny how sometimes you can have insight into posters without ever knowing them.

[daisypaloma]

I also enjoyed v's perspective. She's made some a-hole-y (even snotty) comments towards posters here for sure. But I highly doubt she's racist.  It is unfortunate that she got crazy with picking on one of the most beloved person on these boards, who:

1. Never made one mean comment towards anybody
2.  Is known to have made amazing contributions to the society as a whole

And like sfy indicated, she never owned up to her a-hole-y contribution to the pile-on and shake up that went down. 

But if ML'ers misses Booby and LHC, I definitely miss v's contribution to the board re: legal, NYC, renting in HCOL, fashion, East Coast Living, upper class income level, etc.  Not so much the snide comments that she makes here and there. 

[aurora]

I want to be very clear that I don't think V sent the package, but that didn't mean she didn't hurt people.

Weve talked a lot on CEP on subconscious racism and I've learned so much about how my own biases can be harmful. I don't expect perfection, but I do make a point to apologize and learn from my mistakes.

[aurora]

Apr 10, 2016 17:33:56 GMT -5 fn2187 said:

Is V a longtime poster from the old board who changed her name 3 or so times? I feel like the above descriptions is describing an old poster who I'm not sure her name anymore. Can someone state the first letter of the state she lives in? That would confirm it for me, maybe lol.

If you see daisypaloma's post a couple up from you you'll see where V lives.

[genet313]

I can't believe we're just now finally chatting about this.  I kept waiting for something to be said on MM and nothing was.  

FTR, I don't know v in real life, but I don't for a second think she had anything to do with the package.  I do think she said something that she thought would be funny, but given the context and at a time when tensions were already high, it was flat out the wrong thing to say. 

ETA: I'm speaking of the chicken remark, not anything said re: kirkette, which I somehow missed completely and have no view on.

[wannabe]

So it doesn't matter that she threw out a shitload of dumb ass comments, basically board stalked one of the sweetest and kindest posters around and kept posting bullshit about fucking TURBO TAX when asked directly to explain herself?

That's totally okay because she gave you great NYC and fashion advice?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

[wannabe]

Yes. Really.

[dreamcrisp1]

You should care when it's comments that involve racism.

[bronxgirl]

Apr 10, 2016 17:46:47 GMT -5 capscapscaps said:

Also, V might not be a card carrying go white people racist, but there was absolutely an undertone of "know your place" to her entire blow up with Kirkette.

Although her racist bullying was most intense and noticeable with her recent harassment of @kirkette, she has been making racist micro-aggressions on these boards for years. 

[cilantro]

Apr 10, 2016 23:06:13 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

Apr 10, 2016 17:46:47 GMT -5 capscapscaps said:

Also, V might not be a card carrying go white people racist, but there was absolutely an undertone of "know your place" to her entire blow up with Kirkette.

Although her racist bullying was most intense and noticeable with her recent harassment of @kirkette , she has been making racist micro-aggressions on these boards for years. 

If you're going to throw out an accusation like that, you need to back it up.  

[bronxgirl]

Apr 10, 2016 23:07:52 GMT -5 cilantro said:

Apr 10, 2016 23:06:13 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

Although her racist bullying was most intense and noticeable with her recent harassment of @kirkette , she has been making racist micro-aggressions on these boards for years. 

If you're going to throw out an accusation like that, you need to back it up.  

FFS. No, I really don't. If you want to go on believing your friend isn't racist EVEN WITH EVERYTHING THAT JUST HAPPENED, that's on you. I'm also not "throwing out an accusation." I'm making an observation of a pattern of behavior I've noticed.

[intentionalsnarkshark]

[winnieandwine]

Apr 10, 2016 19:51:15 GMT -5 wannabe said:

So it doesn't matter that she threw out a shitload of dumb ass comments, basically board stalked one of the sweetest and kindest posters around and kept posting bullshit about fucking TURBO TAX when asked directly to explain herself?

That's totally okay because she gave you great NYC and fashion advice?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I think it's rich that you, in particular, would get bent over someone "board stalking" (we are talking about posting on MMM, right?). Don't you have a super creepy habit of taking, and linking, GBCN beef onto other public social media platforms?

I never called you out before, but tweet-mocking my wedding and how you want to "kick my teeth in" is...off, particularly when I'm closer in age to your daughter than I am to you.

You might have more ground to stand on if you approached the actual content v. delivery here.

[cilantro]

Apr 10, 2016 23:10:55 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

Apr 10, 2016 23:07:52 GMT -5 cilantro said:

If you're going to throw out an accusation like that, you need to back it up.  

FFS. No, I really don't. If you want to go on believing your friend isn't racist EVEN WITH EVERYTHING THAT JUST HAPPENED, that's on you. I'm also not "throwing out an accusation." I'm making an observation of a pattern of behavior I've noticed.

And not speaking out to protect members of this community from these alleged years of racial slights you've witnessed and supposedly been conscious of is on you.  

Or, you know, you just like a pile on.

[bronxgirl]

Apr 11, 2016 6:27:56 GMT -5 cilantro said:

Apr 10, 2016 23:10:55 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

FFS. No, I really don't. If you want to go on believing your friend isn't racist EVEN WITH EVERYTHING THAT JUST HAPPENED, that's on you. I'm also not "throwing out an accusation." I'm making an observation of a pattern of behavior I've noticed.

And not speaking out to protect members of this community from these alleged years of racial slights you've witnessed and supposedly been conscious of is on you.  

Or, you know, you just like a pile on.

LOL. Nope. Not even close.

[TR]

Apr 11, 2016 5:58:17 GMT -5 winnieandwine said:

Apr 10, 2016 19:51:15 GMT -5 wannabe said:

So it doesn't matter that she threw out a shitload of dumb ass comments, basically board stalked one of the sweetest and kindest posters around and kept posting bullshit about fucking TURBO TAX when asked directly to explain herself?

That's totally okay because she gave you great NYC and fashion advice?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I think it's rich that you, in particular, would get bent over someone "board stalking" (we are talking about posting on MMM, right?). Don't you have a super creepy habit of taking, and linking, GBCN beef onto other public social media platforms?

I never called you out before, but tweet-mocking my wedding and how you want to "kick my teeth in" is...off, particularly when I'm closer in age to your daughter than I am to you.

You might have more ground to stand on if you approached the actual content v. delivery here.

say what now?

[sfy]

Apr 11, 2016 5:58:17 GMT -5 winnieandwine said:

Apr 10, 2016 19:51:15 GMT -5 wannabe said:

So it doesn't matter that she threw out a shitload of dumb ass comments, basically board stalked one of the sweetest and kindest posters around and kept posting bullshit about fucking TURBO TAX when asked directly to explain herself?

That's totally okay because she gave you great NYC and fashion advice?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I think it's rich that you, in particular, would get bent over someone "board stalking" (we are talking about posting on MMM, right?). Don't you have a super creepy habit of taking, and linking, GBCN beef onto other public social media platforms?

I never called you out before, but tweet-mocking my wedding and how you want to "kick my teeth in" is...off, particularly when I'm closer in age to your daughter than I am to you.

You might have more ground to stand on if you approached the actual content v. delivery here.

I miss so much shit around here, it's crazy.  Cray, even.

[starlily]

Apr 11, 2016 5:58:17 GMT -5 winnieandwine said:

Apr 10, 2016 19:51:15 GMT -5 wannabe said:

So it doesn't matter that she threw out a shitload of dumb ass comments, basically board stalked one of the sweetest and kindest posters around and kept posting bullshit about fucking TURBO TAX when asked directly to explain herself?

That's totally okay because she gave you great NYC and fashion advice?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I think it's rich that you, in particular, would get bent over someone "board stalking" (we are talking about posting on MMM, right?). Don't you have a super creepy habit of taking, and linking, GBCN beef onto other public social media platforms?

I never called you out before, but tweet-mocking my wedding and how you want to "kick my teeth in" is...off, particularly when I'm closer in age to your daughter than I am to you.

You might have more ground to stand on if you approached the actual content v. delivery here.

What in the hell?!

And also, way to make this about you. Because mocking your wedding (if that happened) is totally on par with racially based harassment.

[ijack]

Apr 10, 2016 16:36:45 GMT -5 aurora said:

I want to be very clear that I don't think V sent the package, but that didn't mean she didn't hurt people.

Weve talked a lot on CEP on subconscious racism and I've learned so much about how my own biases can be harmful. I don't expect perfection, but I do make a point to apologize and learn from my mistakes.

It seems to me that maybe MM could also use these lessons in what it means to be racist :/

[sfy]

Apr 11, 2016 8:47:10 GMT -5 starlily said:

Apr 11, 2016 5:58:17 GMT -5 winnieandwine said:

I think it's rich that you, in particular, would get bent over someone "board stalking" (we are talking about posting on MMM, right?). Don't you have a super creepy habit of taking, and linking, GBCN beef onto other public social media platforms?

I never called you out before, but tweet-mocking my wedding and how you want to "kick my teeth in" is...off, particularly when I'm closer in age to your daughter than I am to you.

You might have more ground to stand on if you approached the actual content v. delivery here.

What in the hell?!

And also, way to make this about you. Because mocking your wedding (if that happened) is totally on par with racially based harassment.

Nope.  Let this get aired out, too.  Stand down.  Thanks!

[starlily]

Apr 11, 2016 8:55:58 GMT -5 sfy said:

Apr 11, 2016 8:47:10 GMT -5 starlily said:

What in the hell?!

And also, way to make this about you. Because mocking your wedding (if that happened) is totally on par with racially based harassment.

Nope.  Let this get aired out, too.  Stand down.  Thanks!

I can't see your gif, but sorry, I disagree. It's a huge deflection from the original point, which still seems to be lost on some.

[winnieandwine]

just a couple of receipts (third is about @notquiteblushing - just ran across it in a deep search). unfortunately the rest of the posse keep their shit semi-private so you miss most of the back and forth.

I actually can't find the post that mocked the idea of "holding pizza while wearing a cocktail dress" (in response to this thread). that was super cute. 

@wan et al., please tell me again how it's creepy to "follow" posters to MMM. before spouting off about "bullying" or "harassment" take a breath. ya'll can be pretty ugly. 

I don't believe in my heart of hearts that v is racist. I think she was an ass to kirkette and did not respond well when she realized how others had interpreted her behavior and motivations.

Attachments:

[TR]

Apr 11, 2016 9:05:27 GMT -5 winnieandwine said:

just a couple of receipts (third is about @notquiteblushing - just ran across it in a deep search). unfortunately the rest of the posse keep their shit semi-private so you miss most of the back and forth.

I actually can't find the post that mocked the idea of "holding pizza while wearing a cocktail dress" (in response to this thread). that was super cute. 

@wan et al., please tell me again how it's creepy to "follow" posters to MMM. before spouting off about "bullying" or "harassment" take a breath. ya'll can be pretty ugly. 

I don't believe in my heart of hearts that v is racist. I think she was an ass to kirkette and did not respond well when she realized how others had interpreted her behavior and motivations.

How do you/we know those first two are about you? Honestly curious, not implying you're lying, I don't have a dog in this fight.

[TR]

Also, neither here nor there, I didn't realize people had, like, regular conversations via Twitter. The more you know.