If you don't understand why its unnecessarily nasty to out someone who never wanted the information made public in the first place, I don't know what to tell you.
Isn't that what this thread has devolved into? Hammering home the point that GBCN/Twitter/et al are public and if one can't handle what that might entail maybe they should stay off of them, or at least prudently censor themselves? I'm not saying that it's particularly cool to bring stuff up that's embarrassing but that's a risk we all take. The poster involved is the one that made it public in the first place.
And I don't for one second believe that that thread wasn't deleted as a favor. I would lay big money on the fact that if it wasn't one of the top 10 or so popular girls on here that asked, it wouldn't have gotten deleted.
The mod who deleted it isn't a poster on this board? Why would she do a favor for a stranger?
Heck, I'm the only MM reg who is a mod.
People do favors for all sorts of reasons, even for "strangers".
If a thread/post gets deleted simply because someone asks, if there's no legitimate reason (say, personal identifying info posted or something like that), wouldn't you call that a favor?
The mod who deleted it isn't a poster on this board? Why would she do a favor for a stranger?
Heck, I'm the only MM reg who is a mod.
People do favors for all sorts of reasons, even for "strangers".
If a thread/post gets deleted simply because someone asks, if there's no legitimate reason (say, personal identifying info posted or something like that), wouldn't you call that a favor?
I call that an accident. It's only happened a few times and that was because the mod doing the deleting misread the report and thought the person reporting was the OP (which is really the only reason we delete generally).
So no, it's not a favor. It's human error and has been called out many times and apologized for the handful of times it was occurred.
I am always baffled when posters act like the mods are doing shady things. It just doesn't happen.
If you don't understand why its unnecessarily nasty to out someone who never wanted the information made public in the first place, I don't know what to tell you.
Isn't that what this thread has devolved into? Hammering home the point that GBCN/Twitter/et al are public and if one can't handle what that might entail maybe they should stay off of them, or at least prudently censor themselves? I'm not saying that it's particularly cool to bring stuff up that's embarrassing but that's a risk we all take. The poster involved is the one that made it public in the first place.
Perhaps I'm misremembering, but I thought it was v who made it public. I agree with your sentiment.
I don't think they're apples and oranges. Maybe different degrees. But both bad behavior. I just don't know what people expect from v or winnieandwine either, because anything they say will be shouted down anyway.
You are comparing a couple stray snarky one-off comments and the persistent targeting of a person for their race by following them from board to board to mock and harass them on a near-daily basis for a long time.
If you really think these things are comparable, you are an idiot.
I think it's weird that people are all "what do you want us to do?" about wannabe, but they're demanding answers from v or winnieandwine or etc. I sort of think shitty behavior should be called out wherever it is, not shrugged off because some of the people doing it are friends.
People do favors for all sorts of reasons, even for "strangers".
If a thread/post gets deleted simply because someone asks, if there's no legitimate reason (say, personal identifying info posted or something like that), wouldn't you call that a favor?
I call that an accident. It's only happened a few times and that was because the mod doing the deleting misread the report and thought the person reporting was the OP (which is really the only reason we delete generally).
So no, it's not a favor. It's human error and has been called out many times and apologized for the handful of times it was occurred.
I am always baffled when posters act like the mods are doing shady things. It just doesn't happen.
I don't consider that as shady, FTR. Even if it is done as a favor.
Post by dr.girlfriend on Apr 12, 2016 15:39:27 GMT -5
My mom always said, "You never hear any good about yourself through eavesdropping." If you go looking for stuff other people are saying behind your back, you're going to get your feelings hurt. It doesn't make it right or good that they were saying it, but that's human nature. Whether it's your coworkers or your neighbors or people at your church, people *will* talk shit about you, so save your sanity and don't go seeking it out.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Apr 12, 2016 16:02:49 GMT -5
All y'all wide-eyed people saying, "I didn't see any racism anywhere!" don't need to look any further than this very thread with all of the deflecting going on. Mean girl behavior is not on the same level as racism and shame on those of you trying to say that it is.
And I call BULLSHIT that some of you saying you had no idea what STARTED right here on your very own board and carried over onto ML were in the dark about what went down. You knew. You just didn't say anything.
I sure picked a day to be busy at work and unable to keep up with MM.
I agree with everyone else that racism is far worse than off-board cattiness and I'm sorry if my post back on page 2 or 3 contributed to a sense of downplaying that. I'm really glad we have WOC like @kirkette, @246baje, sfy here in this thread (and others, plus numerous other threads) who are willing to help us understand their unique perspectives even though it's not your job to do so.
I hope we can continue to foster a community where people feel safe to post despite our differences.
Yes, it was a part of it. Combine it with all the other things she did, it was just the cherry on top.
I still don't get why people say things like, "I want to throat punch so and so" or "I'll help you hide the body." But since I doubt those people have also posted other people's personal info, trolled numerous posters, and gaslight someone, it doesn't seem as crazy?
Because that's how I roll.
The same reason that I use lots of hand motions when I get riled up, and creative uses of the word "fuck". Seriously, getting hyperbolic about shit on the internet (baring you actually being a crazy motherfucker) isn't something that people should be all "whaaaaaaaaa?!" over. It's not that strange. Honestly.
I think we might be twins separated at birth.
I threatened to throat punch a co-worker for taking the last diet coke today. Luckily he knows I have never thrown a punch in my entire life and the lobby of my workplace isn't going to be where I would want to start.
Yes, it was a part of it. Combine it with all the other things she did, it was just the cherry on top.
I still don't get why people say things like, "I want to throat punch so and so" or "I'll help you hide the body." But since I doubt those people have also posted other people's personal info, trolled numerous posters, and gaslight someone, it doesn't seem as crazy?
Because that's how I roll.
The same reason that I use lots of hand motions when I get riled up, and creative uses of the word "fuck". Seriously, getting hyperbolic about shit on the internet (baring you actually being a crazy motherfucker) isn't something that people should be all "whaaaaaaaaa?!" over. It's not that strange. Honestly.
No, it's not strange. But I still don't get it. I also don't get pointy nails and lots of people have them.
I DO get your love of caps. It adds emphasis where needed.
All y'all wide-eyed people saying, "I didn't see any racism anywhere!" don't need to look any further than this very thread with all of the deflecting going on. Mean girl behavior is not on the same level as racism and shame on those of you trying to say that it is.
And I call BULLSHIT that some of you saying you had no idea what STARTED right here on your very own board and carried over onto ML were in the dark about what went down. You knew. You just didn't say anything.
MM lost a lot of regulars a long time ago, so many of the people who said they didn't see the racist comments were just not here. It doesn't mean I don't believe it happened and it doesn't mean it wasn't incredibly shitty of v.
(Also, I can't remember the last time I visited MM, and I used to visit everyday. I used to wonder if I could ever give it up haha)
I'm calling out insominac because it's been like twelve hours and we still don't know if your cheesemonger was Brad or Bradley (or even Bradford)? What are you trying to hide!?!??!
It was Bradley! You have a great memory lol I haven't bought fancy cheese in a while since the cheese shop is no longer on my route home. I'm stuck buying Trader Joe's cheese like all the other plebes. And I probably shouldn't be eating cheese anyway since my cholesterol was on the high side of normal. ;(
All y'all wide-eyed people saying, "I didn't see any racism anywhere!" don't need to look any further than this very thread with all of the deflecting going on. Mean girl behavior is not on the same level as racism and shame on those of you trying to say that it is.
And I call BULLSHIT that some of you saying you had no idea what STARTED right here on your very own board and carried over onto ML were in the dark about what went down. You knew. You just didn't say anything.
MM lost a lot of regulars a long time ago, so many of the people who said they didn't see the racist comments were just not here. It doesn't mean I don't believe it happened and it doesn't mean it wasn't incredibly shitty of v.
(Also, I can't remember the last time I visited MM, and I used to visit everyday. I used to wonder if I could ever give it up haha)
You should obviously quit doing whatever you do all day and devote more time to the clusterfuck that is GBCN.
People in this community have received advice and perspective that has changed the course of their lives for the better. Posters have gotten the courage and resources to leave bad relationships, manage through tremendous hardship / personal loss, make big career leaps, change their financial future for the better. Some are lucky enough to have made lifelong friends!
But, it is a public place, which means there is space for the negative - bullying, racism, aggression.
The intentional, repetitive negativity and racially-charged scorn directed at @kirkette (and experienced by others) is disgusting.
Speaking personally for a moment, I have checked myself and learned from posters holding a mirror up when I've engaged in dialogue that isn't informed - so not perfect over here! But, add me to the list that noticed v's loud silence and am glad the departure is being addressed.
I'm working 17 hour days right now but I'm still ride or die for sfy and anything/one she finds important. That means @kirkette , SMO too. I trust her thoughts on 95% of things so much I don't even need to know what's going on. I'll roll in hot and ready.
Oh no, this is too much responsibility and I am not worthy . Sometimes, I am a plum fool, Stan . Just now, I ate some pineapple chunks for my dinner and then attempted to master the do it like me dance in the mirror while watching HGTV. Literally no one should trust my judgment LOL.
But, what happened with @kirkette and smo was indeed important and completely unacceptable.
I didn't realize you were working so much--it's good to see you!
I'm calling out insominac because it's been like twelve hours and we still don't know if your cheesemonger was Brad or Bradley (or even Bradford)? What are you trying to hide!?!??!
It was Bradley! You have a great memory lol I haven't bought fancy cheese in a while since the cheese shop is no longer on my route home. I'm stuck buying Trader Joe's cheese like all the other plebes. And I probably shouldn't be eating cheese anyway since my cholesterol was on the high side of normal. ;(
Please go visit Bradley and say hi from all of us at MM.
Oh no, this is too much responsibility and I am not worthy . Sometimes, I am a plum fool, Stan . Just now, I ate some pineapple chunks for my dinner and then attempted to master the do it like me dance in the mirror while watching HGTV. Literally no one should trust my judgment LOL.
But, what happened with @kirkette and smo was indeed important and completely unacceptable.
I didn't realize you were working so much--it's good to see you!
Yup. I can't even get my hands clean because I've been shooting so much that carbon is now a component of my skin. I'm also on staff which is a huge responsibility (though I realize I'm basically speaking gibberish here).
And I know you're wrong 5% of the time, you don't like pigs. But. You are right about most things to include Kirkette and SMO and I'm just saying I don't need to read jack ish to know that. Plus if eating pineapple and watching HGTV is wrong, I'm rarely right.
I understand very little of it, but I'm so impressed! Whoa @ the carbon!
LOL, well, at least I'm in good company with my foolishness.
Post by jerseyjaybird on Apr 12, 2016 20:38:46 GMT -5
I don't know that I'm a MM regular, but it feels too weird to appear as if I'm ignoring this thread. So, hi.
I haven't been around much for the last few months, and I've kind of pieced together what went down after the fact. This is the first I've read of v's specific remarks, and HOLY SHIT. Utterly inexplicable, unexcusable, and I want to apologize to the WOC here on behalf of . . . humanity?
It's pathetic that anyone would deny the microaggressions that have been tolerated here, and everywhere. I've committed them myself. DW and I call each other out on this shit all the time, and yet we still have so far to go . . . farther than I'm aware of, I'm sure.
I got called out here once for a microaggression, and I hope that none of y'all will let me slide when I'm a fool.
It was Bradley! You have a great memory lol I haven't bought fancy cheese in a while since the cheese shop is no longer on my route home. I'm stuck buying Trader Joe's cheese like all the other plebes. And I probably shouldn't be eating cheese anyway since my cholesterol was on the high side of normal. ;(
This community has taught me so much and has influenced the paradigm shift and the lenses through which I now view and acknowledge privilege and racism. I am eternally grateful that I have had the opportunity to learn from the shared experiences of the posters on this board. I am saddened that I have *had* to learn through the experiences of other posters on this board. There is no place in this community for racism or for tolerating racism - or any type of hateful discrimination.
I am one of those posters who usually stays quiet during conflicts. I always, naively, thought it was OK to observe the conversations, learn from them, and believed the mantra "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I now recognize my own privilege to have previously had those thoughts since I was not targeted. I now recognize that silence is detrimental to the integrity of this board. Silence and inaction is a form of action and tolerance. I am sorry for being silent. I never intended to tolerate such despicable behavior.
I mainly post on H&F and on here and am not often aware of what happens on the other sub boards. I am embarrassed I did not notice this sooner nor did I take the time to truly understand what was happening. I read a few threads about the racism toward @kirkette and others when joenali 's behavior was brought to light on H&F. I did not realize racist behavior was continuing to aggressively target members of this community. I hope those who demonstrate that repulsive behavior will either acknowledge it, apologize, and change or leave. If I see it again in the future, I, for one, will no longer remain silent.
I can't decide if this thread proves I was right to stay away for a year or if I should have never left.
I was just going to say that I picked a hell of a time to pop on GBCN and say hi to MM land. (I actually initially came to see if PCE posted something about Bernie that happened today, saw they didn't, and came here).
I ain't got no time for this. Lol.
I don't even recognize half of the screen names. I don't even know what the incident was that happened.
I was just going to say that I picked a hell of a time to pop on GBCN and say hi to MM land. (I actually initially came to see if PCE posted something about Bernie that happened today, saw they didn't, and came here).
I ain't got no time for this. Lol.
I don't even recognize half of the screen names. I don't even know what the incident was that happened.
::runs back to FB::
This is seriously what you want your part in the greater conversation here to be?
1. Who are you?
2. Was I not clear that I didn't read the whole thread? I read the first page, saw it was 13 pages long and gave up. I'm sure there is much I'd want to comment on but it's 11:15 pm here and I'd like to go to sleep.
I can't decide if this thread proves I was right to stay away for a year or if I should have never left.
I was just going to say that I picked a hell of a time to pop on GBCN and say hi to MM land. (I actually initially came to see if PCE posted something about Bernie that happened today, saw they didn't, and came here).
I ain't got no time for this. Lol.
I don't even recognize half of the screen names. I don't even know what the incident was that happened.
2. Was I not clear that I didn't read the whole thread? I read the first page, saw it was 13 pages long and gave up. I'm sure there is much I'd want to comment on but it's 11:15 pm here and I'd like to go to sleep.
3. Who are you?
1. Fairly certain my user name shows.
2. You should read the thread before commenting so flippantly about pooping back here
3. See above.
There are several posts in this thread that aren't about the issue with v, or the larger issue at hand.
Are you going to call them out too?
Is this what GBCN has come to? An old poster can't even comment on a thread without reading all 13 pages?
Clearly anyone who has something to do besides read GBCN all day should just step off until they can keep up. Noted.
cosmos - feel free to post the Bernie stuff on CEP if it's not there. Now I'm curious. (I'm going to a Hillary delegate training tonight for Sunday's legislative caucus. We caucus up to our eyebrows out here.)