Parenting is hard, and I'm more flustered with one than I'd like to admit. I've definitely lost my cool.
I will say I had an eye opening moment when one of my BFFs, a mother of two that is O is completely comfortable around shut down one of her tantrums with "That isn't a real problem." Lol I've tried it since, and it's 50/50 on the success rate, but normally will by me at least a minute or two of silence while she gears up for round two of insanity.
Joanna was really sweet this afternoon. In a good mood and asked me if I was feeling better. The she asked me if I would "give" her, which I eventually figured out to be FORGIVE. I said of course and then she gave me a long hug. So sad.
The age/stage your girls are in was not my favorite. I remember waking up and thinking, today will be a good day. I WILL NOT LOSE MY FUCKING SHIT TODAY.
Must. Remain. Calm. Breathe in. Breathe out. Ommmmm.
And inevitably I would find myself at that breaking point again. I signed up for a 12 week Parent Child Interactive Therapy course at USF and it helped quite a bit. Twice a week for an hour with child psychologists that observed us playing together and learning the value of consistent positive reinforcement (What a good listener! I love how nicely you're playing right now.) And they would have me "poke the bear" to learn how to calmly, efficiently diffuse a situation before it escalated. Maybe there is something similar in your area that would work with your schedule?
It gets so much easier in elementary. The kids alarms are set 30 minutes early in the mornings. Part of their chores/allowance earnings includes their morning routine - getting dressed and brushing teeth on time, grabbing lunch boxes, filling water bottles, etc while I make breakfast. Once their priorities are done they can play Minecraft while I'm getting ready. We hardly have stressful mornings anymore. They recognize that and see the benefits. You can't rationalize with toddlers. I don't miss that time. (((hugs)))
Well I tried to get Joanna to put on her own underwear this morning while I was doing my hair so that she'd be ready to get dressed when I was done. After arguing with me and me threatening to turn off Garfield, she finally went to do it. BUT then H followed her in there and helped her. Thanks H, but I hope you are planning to do that every morning from now on. Otherwise, you are not helping me here. I don't know if I'm justified in being irritated about this since I know he was trying to help.
I'm sorry you had a really rough morning yesterday, and I'm nodding along to this post b/c yeah, even when H is trying to be helpful he really isn't.
Well I tried to get Joanna to put on her own underwear this morning while I was doing my hair so that she'd be ready to get dressed when I was done. After arguing with me and me threatening to turn off Garfield, she finally went to do it. BUT then H followed her in there and helped her. Thanks H, but I hope you are planning to do that every morning from now on. Otherwise, you are not helping me here. I don't know if I'm justified in being irritated about this since I know he was trying to help.
You can be simultaneously irritated while acknowledging that he meant well. I've had a few moments lately of total exasperation with DH over that kind of thing. Like, yes, this is a frustrating moment, but you stepping in and saving the day is not a long-term solution, H.
Well I tried to get Joanna to put on her own underwear this morning while I was doing my hair so that she'd be ready to get dressed when I was done. After arguing with me and me threatening to turn off Garfield, she finally went to do it. BUT then H followed her in there and helped her. Thanks H, but I hope you are planning to do that every morning from now on. Otherwise, you are not helping me here. I don't know if I'm justified in being irritated about this since I know he was trying to help.
Justified. H does this kind of stuff. I get so frustrated trying to explain to him that in the long run he is just making things harder for everyone.
I'm sorry mornings have sucked. Ours do too at times. Our girls are similar in age. What I have found to work with my oldest is I lay out clothes for her and tell her that when the time goes off, she needs to go get dressed. I will give her something for breakfast and let her watch cartoons. It has been working well. Then I do her hair, teeth and get her sister ready after i"m mostly ready.
Dh is there in the mornings but somehow takes more time shitting and getting ready than it does for me to get me and both girls ready.
We definitely have rough mornings - I hope things get better for you soon!
Well I tried to get Joanna to put on her own underwear this morning while I was doing my hair so that she'd be ready to get dressed when I was done. After arguing with me and me threatening to turn off Garfield, she finally went to do it. BUT then H followed her in there and helped her. Thanks H, but I hope you are planning to do that every morning from now on. Otherwise, you are not helping me here. I don't know if I'm justified in being irritated about this since I know he was trying to help.
Give him a heads up and try again tomorrow.
I don't allow DS to watch tv or play with toys until he is dressed. Otherwise he dilly dallies even longer.
Same here. He has to eat, brush teeth, get dressed, etc before any tv/toys come out. It speeds up his process exponentially and means that by the time he sits on the couch with tv he's ready to walk out the door at a moment's notice.
please forgive me if this has already been said or addressed or is just ridiculous-I only read your OP.
I too do mornings by myself. My kids are 6 and 3 so older than yours which helps. The #1 key to morning success is for me to be up, showered, and fully dressed/ready before they wake up. They pretty reliably sleep till 7 (on weekdays-weekends are more like 6:30, annoyingly) so I make sure I am ready by then. Ideally I would be ready by 6:45. For a long time I was sleeping later and then letting them watch a show while I showered/dressed and it just sets us so far back. It blows to get up early enough to be ready before they are up but it makes such a difference.
I still dress my DD (she is 6) b/c she has a hard time waking up and takes too long getting ready-when I give her the freedom to dress herself it takes forever that I've put an end to it. She can do it, but to get out of the house with both kids fed by like 7:45 it's easier for both of us if I do it. I go up and wake my son and get him dressed. he brushes his teeth while i'm waking and dressing DD. Then DD goes in the bathroom to brush her teeth while DS and I head downstairs and I make breakfast. I give them lots of reminders to keep eating. I also recently put their vitamins in the bathroom and told them they get them AFTER they brush their teeth in the morning-that has helped speed up morning teeth brushing
I think every mom has had bad mornings, nights, days, weeks, etc. I tend to reflect only on my parenting mistakes (like seriously when the kids go to bed at night i think about what I did bad/wrong, did I yell, was my temper too short, are my expectations too high) and I know it's not good but I have a hard time letting stuff go. You are doing great, truly.
OMG He is so cute! DH always says he needs to take our dogs (well, at least the one that seems to relish car rides) for drives just "around," because he feels bad that we only ever end up at the groomer or the vet. lol