Rain in the forecast all week has me bummed. We spent so much time outside last week and it was perfect weather. Being cooped up with a 3 year old is not so fun..
miso I can't imagine they'd put a lawyer on the jury, I think you'll get dismissed easily!
My pity party is that I don't think we're going to get another cycle of IVF in before the lab does their bi-annual closure/clean/quality control, which means we're on hold until July. We had a lot of fun with H's family this weekend, including their kids. But then the kids left and the big house we bought to start our family was quiet and empty again. And everything is terrible. My beta still isn't even negative yet. I found out that I miscarried in FEBRUARY.
How do I cheer myself up? I don't. I just pretend that I'm not on the verge of crying 24/7.
This makes me so sad! I want you to have a beautiful healthy baby and not have to go through so much anguish to get there!
You're experienced and fabulous. Those jobs are harder to find. But one WILL find you. In your current field or something new and exciting. I have faith in you.
Being on unemployment and job searching is a huge mind fuck. Sorry my friend.
When did you decide to stop working entirely?
Did you search for awhile first?
I realize I've only really been officially unemployed for two weeks now, but I feel so embarrassed when I have to explain to people why I'm not working.
Are you telling people you were laid off? "I was impacted by an organizational restructure" is the way to go! LOL.
As for being in a funk...it's like my brain has a weird timer. Like, I MUST go through a funk for a certain period of time, and nothing will make me feel better. Then a certain amount of time passes, and I can start pulling myself out of my mood. But first I have to feel crappy.
It's only been a couple of weeks - try not to feel bad. Much like my H, I feel like you were a victim of unfair circumstances, and you're going to come out on top, undoubtedly.
Rain in the forecast all week has me bummed. We spent so much time outside last week and it was perfect weather. Being cooped up with a 3 year old is not so fun..
miso I can't imagine they'd put a lawyer on the jury, I think you'll get dismissed easily!
You'd be surprised. If we can't come up with a REAL reason to strike them, there are usually people who are FAR worse and the attorneys get kept on.
Being on unemployment and job searching is a huge mind fuck. Sorry my friend.
When did you decide to stop working entirely?
Did you search for awhile first?
I realize I've only really been officially unemployed for two weeks now, but I feel so embarrassed when I have to explain to people why I'm not working.
I went on two interviews while I was still employed but knowing that I was going to be leaving. I think those interviews were in late October or early November; I didn't have an official end date at the time but I ended up leaving end of December (2014). They were at a company I didn't really want to work for anyway, and after I interviewed I was hit with radio silence (which solidified me not wanting to work for them).
I was so burned out and had some money still coming in from what I negotiated when I left, that I decided to give it a few months before I started looking. I started to apply for something in April 2015, but then I had a panic attack and never filled out the application. Around this time I threw myself into book clubs and volunteering at the library. I still browse for jobs occasionally, but I haven't actually applied for anything since the interviews in 2014. Although I did get contacted 6-8 weeks ago from a former boss who wanted me to come contract for him, which I politely declined - he seemed have forgotten an incident where here threw me under the bus at review time and was trying to force me off his team. Fuck you dude. Not going to back to that.
I have a lot of friends who are SAHMs, so they don't judge me at all, even without any kids. But I have this other frenemy who I eventually had to sit down with and tell her to keep her bitchy, judgmental comments to herself, because our finances where none of her business and that my not working didn't define me as a person.
I'm definitely very fortunate that I could make this decision though. My salary was awesome, but we made it a point to always just live on my H's salary, and use my salary for fun stuff and investing. His job was in flux at the same time (he was part of massive layoffs in July 2014, and went to a new company that September), but luckily he landed a position with the same salary and only slightly more expensive health insurance. But my health has improved so dramatically since I stopped working that we haven't really noticed much of a difference there.
Rain in the forecast all week has me bummed. We spent so much time outside last week and it was perfect weather. Being cooped up with a 3 year old is not so fun..
miso I can't imagine they'd put a lawyer on the jury, I think you'll get dismissed easily!
You'd be surprised. If we can't come up with a REAL reason to strike them, there are usually people who are FAR worse and the attorneys get kept on.
that's crazy to me but I guess I can see it. My parents are both lawyers and I don't think they've ever been selected.
I delayed my unemployment claim too back when I had a company shut down. I was embarrassed, and when I found out that A. I could do it online and never have to see anyone about it, and B. the benefits were pain on an ordinary looking Chase debit card, I got my ass in gear and enjoyed my $300 a week.
I know! It was pretty easy!
At least this will cover most of my nanny costs.
And, in the meantime, I'm fixing up my condo to rent, so that should bring in $2500-$2900 a month.
Maybe I can even afford to get a less stressful, lower paying job.
Post by thebreakfastclub on Apr 18, 2016 15:07:37 GMT -5
I'm on my second stint of unemployment in 12 months. I had worked at my old company for 10 years, promoted 3 times...and then my boss and I were unceremoniously sacked.
It took 4 months to get a new job, at a company that quickly went down hill. I got laid off a month ago. That one was not a surprise at least.
The shame is real. We will be moving for better opportunities, and I hate doing that to my H. I feel like the scarlet F is going to follow me forever.
Post by snipsnsnails on Apr 18, 2016 15:08:03 GMT -5
Ugh, I hope it happens soon, miso. Something great is just around the corner.
When I lost my job, it was a total blow, among other things, to discover that my employer was exempt from paying into unemployment so I wasn't eligible to draw it.
You'd be surprised. If we can't come up with a REAL reason to strike them, there are usually people who are FAR worse and the attorneys get kept on.
that's crazy to me but I guess I can see it. My parents are both lawyers and I don't think they've ever been selected.
I've only gotten called once and everyone set for trial that day took a plea deal. I'd actually dig being on jury duty if the case was even remotely interesting. And my definition of interesting when it comes to the law is way more generous than most people.
I went with "it was a poor fit, the job wasn't what they represented and I couldn't continue working there"
Which is technically true.
I've actually been exceedingly honest with people, and their reaction has all been shock.
BECAUSE HOW DOES ANYBODY FIRE ME?!
But, even though everyone is on my side, it's still an oddly shame-laden admission.
I was honest with a few people about what (and how) it happened. They were shocked, both that it was me and how dysfunctional and unfair it was. I still couldn't tell everyone. Mostly because then I'd mentally rehash it and get pissed about how fucked up the whole thing was. As one friend put it "they're the crappy boyfriend who wasn't good enough for you in the first place and you were supposed to break up with. How dare they break up with YOU?!"
I had to go through a small bit of depression to get passed it. Took a few weeks. I AM better off but I'm still pissed. mostly because I spent every day talking myself out of quitting. Never again.
I should also add that this time around I didn't apply for unemployment even though I was, in theory, eligible. I just couldn't handle the stress of being required to apply for the 3-4 shitty jobs a week that I know I didn't want.
But before I had my full time job I used to do contracting work, where I'd work for a year, then be required to take a 100 "break in service" before I could go back to contracting at the same company. I did always apply for unemployment then, and I liked my pittance check, but at that time I wasn't burned out and didn't really care one way or another if I got a job (sometimes I got a shorty contract at another company, sometimes I didn't).
I am in the exact same place. I am starting the search process because morale is so low everyone is starting the search process. We have a terrible reputation in the industry because of her and it will be incredibly difficult to hire to replace people. It fucking sucks because everyone else is great to work with and if she would just leave it would be a great place to work.
Miso - hang in there. I know it's easier said than done but I promise it will turn around for you.
Post by themysteriouswife on Apr 18, 2016 15:19:34 GMT -5
My mom's blood work is not great. Her PCP is sending her to her oncologist for a PET scan and more blood work. She has said in the past, if it comes back she will not get treatment. She's had four different cancers. Luckily, two were at the same time.
All of this is going on while I'm sitting at Allie's follow-up for her lymph node issue. Today, we find out what specialist she needs to see. I'm afraid it's going to be oncology too.
Post by lovelyshoes on Apr 18, 2016 15:23:49 GMT -5
It is the worst feeling, the worst. Lots of hugs to you. I'm glad that you get to spend some wonderful quality time with your daughter. I hope that you find the perfect fit for you and look back on this bump in the road as a tiny little glitch.
Post by amberlyrose on Apr 18, 2016 15:26:58 GMT -5
I've been doing terrible at work (even though I've been busting my ass) but numbers are numbers. I'm just waiting around for the call from my boss. I've been running some high level programs, so I hope that saves me. During our team call today, my boss totally cut me off and jumped on another call. It hurt my feelings.
I have a few applications out and had an interview but I'm so worried.
I've been doing terrible at work (even though I've been busting my ass) but numbers are numbers. I'm just waiting around for the call from my boss. I've been running some high level programs, so I hope that saves me. During our team call today, my boss totally cut me off and jumped on another call. It hurt my feelings.
I have a few applications out and had an interview but I'm so worried.
I delayed my unemployment claim too back when I had a company shut down. I was embarrassed, and when I found out that A. I could do it online and never have to see anyone about it, and B. the benefits were pain on an ordinary looking Chase debit card, I got my ass in gear and enjoyed my $300 a week.
I know! It was pretty easy!
At least this will cover most of my nanny costs.
And, in the meantime, I'm fixing up my condo to rent, so that should bring in $2500-$2900 a month.
Maybe I can even afford to get a less stressful, lower paying job.
I think this is a positive way to look at it. I know the reason why you're fixing up the condo is because of the crappy situation, but hey, you've had potential rental income sitting there you can now use.
Job hunting is the pits. I know something good will come up for you. You are the funniest, smartest person I know. And I'm not saying that just because we're friends.
Speaking of entry jobs in a totally different field, when I was between jobs years ago I went to work as a cashier for a healthy food store/yoga studio. I was there for several months and surprisingly enjoyed it very much, partly b/c it was just the right amount of social interaction for me. Then the manager promoted me to handle accounting duties (a big step up in his mind) and I hated it--working in a windowless basement away from other people was not good. Luckily I got a new job by then. Anyway, I was grateful for that interlude; it kept me sane.
I'm still bummed about the baby's health. I know her BP is being treated and all but I'm constantly worrying. If she exerts too much or gets startled I'm so scared her heart is under strain.
Two of the people who gave birth around the same time I did are pregnant again. At this point, I'm pretty sure we're one and done but I feel so bad that my baby will be all alone. Especially since we also took her 10,000 miles from the rest of her family I feel so guilty.
My ILs are here. It's so obvious how much older they are than the last time. I know H worries about them a lot and I do too, both about them and my own parents. It would be awesome to move closer to them but with the baby's health and H's job, I don't think it's possible.
My brother applied to some schools in the US but has been rejected. He has pretty bad scores in school but his gre and toefl was awesome. So I had some hope but I feel bad that he didn't get in anywhere. he is in a limbo in his current job and I can tell that waiting to re-apply while working there is going to upset him.
Post by intentionalsnarkshark on Apr 18, 2016 16:03:00 GMT -5
((Miso)) it took me quite awhile to shake off the shame of being fired. But now that I have momentum in a new direction I'm SO glad it happened, even if leaving wasn't on my terms.
I'm super stressed right now. I'm leaving for my summer research two weeks before the quarter ends, and I'm having trouble setting boundaries with my time, especially when it comes to my advisor. I'm overwelmed and missing deadlines which I RARELY do.
I'm on the hook to travel with the engineering club Thursday/Friday of this week and although it sounds really fun I feel like I shouldn't miss even more class. But I hate letting people down. Blugh
(((miso))ob hunting is unbelievably awful. i'm so sorry. i have a masters degree from emory and wasn't able to get even an interview for over a year. i'm keeping all my everything crossed for you.
DH was laid off completely unexpectedly a couple weeks ago. I know he is in a major funk about it and we're both terrified of the long term impact. He said applying for unemployment was pretty rough. After much conversation about his job history and overall dissatisfaction, he is seeing a counselor today. All of the stress is getting to me too. My boss told me I seemed chipper this morning. I certainly don't feel chipper, so that was interesting.
All that to say, I'm sorry and I get it. It fucking sucks. I really hope you find something great soon.