New name, feeling terrible

[Deleted]

I am sorry, this is the owl that was not so wise...
I felt attacked (I realize my feelings were the least of the issues but I am just stating this).
I feel wrong bailing and I really do enjoy all of you.
I don't want to be a creepy lurker, I have learned many valuable things here and really would like your insight and wisdom in my life.
I said something stupid and am SORRY period, I was wrong, I should have read the posts, I sounded like an ass but I am not one and would like to come back to prove that if you all will accept me. 

[katrinabennett]

I think you come back and you do better. You prove that you are better.
But then again, that's easy for me to say because I am not in the offended group.
As a person that has offended others, I am trying to do better. If we are all going to hang out together, we have to have basic respect for each other.
I am trying not to be mean, because it seems you are trying, but I feel like this poll is kind of making it about you. I do like the apology though and maybe it is a nice gesture to allow the people you hurt to agree or disagree to allow you back in.
Rambling. Party of one.

[noodleskooze]

You don't need to be an AW. You don't get to do that. You hurt people. If you want to be here, then be here and do better. It's not on the WOC to welcome you back or forgive you. Many of them are sadly gone from this board because of a long history of comments like yours and silence like mine.

[greycat]

I don't think you learned anything. This posts all about you and making yourself feel better. No amount of people saying it's ok for you to come back can erase your actions. Short of a ban we can't keep you away and your poll serves no purpose except to make you feel better. How would you feel if someone made incredibly offensive comments about you and posted this a day later? I suspect you would feel like they hadn't learned and weren't sincere in their apology.

[karinothing]

I think this poll is unnecessary. You should just apologize flat out, end of story, and not expect or ask for anything in return.

[TamiTaylor]

The fact I don't even know which of the deactivated posters that made racist comments is is a fucking problem. That means the list is too damn long.

Also, NOPE. THIS POST/THREAD IS NOT ANY BETTER. ITS AWING AT ITS WORSE.

YOU FELT ATTTACKED? WHAT ABOUT ALL THE POC THAT HAVE BEEN TRULY ATTACKED FOR YEARS?

[arch01]

Wrong is apologizing and then deactivating instead of apologizing, reading, and doing better.
Wrong is coming back, being an AW, and making this about you instead of coming back and adding something of value to the conversation.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

I haven't posted in the other thread and finally got caught up late last night. It doesn't seem like you've learned anything because yet again, this is about you. Not the issue at hand.

[TamiTaylor]

I'm too busy giving the middle finger to welcome back with open arms.

You still are pulling white fragility.

[aspentosh]

Once again, you're making this about you. It's like nothing has changed.

[TamiTaylor]

And FYI, to the 15 people who voted YES in the poll. YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!

[Deleted]

@vicmo with the sick burn!

[bcv513]

You're still making this all about you. It's not.

[lauren170]

Have you read the White privelidge thread? Have you read the flame free racial thread? Have you read the articles linked? Are you actively trying to better yourself? I see no mention of that in the apology- just that you want the insight and wisdom of the board. Insight on what? The next HA or Tea Collection sale?

[osulori]

It's not all about you, FFS.

[jene]

This is not about you, yet you make it all about you. You need to do better, and this post proves you've learned nothing at all.

[AmyRI]

Honestly, I'd prefer you go back to your old name. Own your mistakes. Including this thread.

Go read the White Fragility thread a few times. pandce.proboards.com/thread/550240/race-white-fragility

In my workshops, one of the things I like to ask white people is, “What are the rules for how people of color should give us feedback about our racism? What are the rules, where did you get them, and whom do they serve?”

This thread serves you and only you.

I'm not interested in banning everyone that screws up, since I feel that it's the same thing as the un-friending phenomenon on facebook that the white fragility article talks about. I need to do better and teach others by example. You need people like us to try to challenge the way you think about race. Together we can do better. And we need to do better.

[matildasun]

You are being ridiculous. Stop flouncing about looking for sympathy.

[TamiTaylor]

Sept 2, 2016 6:57:19 GMT -5 TamiTaylor said:

And FYI, to the 15 people who voted YES in the poll. YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!

Wtf

[water*drop]

You know that Daniel Tiger song about saying you're sorry not being enough (saying I'm sorry is the first step, then how can I help)? There's a lot more to this than just saying you're sorry...but in this case, instead of asking how you can help, do the work yourself because you're an adult and capable of critical thinking (hopefully). And for that matter, do the work because you want to be a better person, not because you want acceptance or forgiveness or whatever.

This post feels like when my 4yo says "I'm sorry you hurt my feelings" to me as an attempt to get out of timeout early.

[karinothing]

Sept 2, 2016 7:14:43 GMT -5 @bunnybean said:

I agree that you should go back to your old name and own your post history if you want to still participate here. Do the tough work seriously and show that you are actually learning and understanding that what you did was so dismissive and essentially shouting down serious discussion about a very ugly and shameful societal issue.

Yeah, I don't get the name change. Name changes mean you are trying to hide what you did or what was said, not that you are changing.

[TamiTaylor]

These will have to hold my place while I sign off for work for today:

[anna7602]

Sept 2, 2016 6:57:19 GMT -5 TamiTaylor said:

And FYI, to the 15 people who voted YES in the poll. YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!

I'm not comprehending why this has become a vote-able issue at all. 

Not trying to make this about me, y'all, but seriously, I don't get to fucking vote about whether an offensive comment is made in real life or not. They just happen. 

[face]

Your sincere apology should never include the words, "I felt attacked." Way to make this completely about yourself.

[spunkarella]

I don't even know which one you are...

If you really want to change, stop asking for forgiveness and making it about you. Listen more. Use your old name if you want to keep participating. You don't get a fresh slate.

[karinothing]

She does say who she is in her post.

[patbutcher]

Go back to your owl name for a start.

It's going to take work for the community to forgive you- work on your part. I'm not sure you have got it yet, maybe take a break for a bit and reflect on everything you said.

[anna7602]

Sept 2, 2016 7:52:00 GMT -5 @this said:

It IS seems really inappropriate to make this into a poll.

FTFY.

[shelbyann]

I am WTFing hard about this being a poll. Not appropriate.

If you want to come back, just come back. And do better. No need to make a production out of it.

[rbp]

I just can't with this. WTF.

[undecidedowl]

Gross, this isn't any better.

We are all aware that you felt attacked. because WE READ THE WHITE FRAGILITY POST. Go do so yourself.