Oh shit this thread is going to slow down now. I went after @tambcat the untouchable.
The mods should just delete this board. Poof bye bitches!
Wait. Tamb is considered untouchable? I mainly avoid her posts because her strong preference for one of kids over the other coupled with her general level of anxiety over the smallest of life decisions is too much for me. So I must have missed this one.
Just b/c I can finally log on from a web browser and see things better. Here's another round of FUCK YOU to those who were caught red handed talking shit about TamiTaylor b/c she was standing up and pointing out how serious race discussions need to be taken on this board.
TamiTaylor, You are right, you never did anything to me and I am sorry I hurt you. In addition, I am sorry that my reticence was hurtful to others as well.
Oh shit this thread is going to slow down now. I went after @tambcat the untouchable.
The mods should just delete this board. Poof bye bitches!
Very very few have the balls to stand up and defend since you dare say something about their poster. The absolute fangirl behavior over her is ridiculous. She has over 100,000 posts and NEVER ONCE will get into these heavy discussions. Its fucking disgusting.
I've posted with her in many boards, I think she's a fine person and all, now that you mention it, she doesn't weigh in much at all in ANY heavy thread, race related or not. I frequent CEP and I get a smile when I see others from my home board weighing in, she's one I don't think I've ever seen unless it was fluff. Which is a shame because people are very fond of her and really do look up to her in a way. When people listen to you and value your input that much, you have the priveledge to do so much good, and I think she's not taking that chance because she's uncomfortable with getting involved, or maybe thinks she'll lose friends, or possibly just doesn't give enough of a shit to be bothered. I would have liked to see her speak on serious stuff. I know nothing about her defending a racist, but I'm actually quite surprised by that...she seemed so... "Liberal"
Oh shit this thread is going to slow down now. I went after @tambcat the untouchable.
The mods should just delete this board. Poof bye bitches!
Very very few have the balls to stand up and defend since you dare say something about their poster. The absolute fangirl behavior over her is ridiculous. She has over 100,000 posts and NEVER ONCE will get into these heavy discussions. Its fucking disgusting.
I have nothing new to add on this topic, but I agree. I am so disappointed (and yet not shocked) that so many posters who spend their every waking moment here are just all of a sudden silent. What a slap in the face to WOC, that as a frequent poster you can't even bother to engage in a discussion about racism. Get out of your white bubble and engage. Don't just sit by and ignore that this shit happens on the boards. Look inward, contribute, learn, and DO SOMETHING!
Oh shit this thread is going to slow down now. I went after @tambcat the untouchable.
The mods should just delete this board. Poof bye bitches!
Very very few have the balls to stand up and defend since you dare say something about their poster. The absolute fangirl behavior over her is ridiculous. She has over 100,000 posts and NEVER ONCE will get into these heavy discussions. Its fucking disgusting.
She once said on April 12 that she only came there for lighthearted conversation (how nice for her), maybe that's changed but I don't know since I don't post there anymore.
I don't go here, but I've been reading everything and honestly I don't even know what to say. I could say I'm appalled at the behavior of some posters and I am, but I know I have to take responsibility for myself, too, because I'm sure I've committed microaggressions myself and have contributed to the overall environment (on GBCN as a whole) by not noticing and therefore speaking out about others'. And for that I'm truly sorry. Just because some people are more obvious about it doesn't mean that I'm any better.
Very very few have the balls to stand up and defend since you dare say something about their poster. The absolute fangirl behavior over her is ridiculous. She has over 100,000 posts and NEVER ONCE will get into these heavy discussions. Its fucking disgusting.
I've posted with her in many boards, I think she's a fine person and all, now that you mention it, she doesn't weigh in much at all in ANY heavy thread, race related or not. I frequent CEP and I get a smile when I see others from my home board weighing in, she's one I don't think I've ever seen unless it was fluff.
I can't think of any time she's come over to CEP, like... ever. Probably because she's a bit of a dumb bunny.
I took yesterday off to try to figure out where my mental health is after my post, but now I'm catching up. I'm on page 5 and my jaw is damn near on the floor with all of this. @natariru I'm so sorry about all of this and that you and the other WOC keep getting pulled through this apparently week after week.
Post by jeaniebueller on Sept 9, 2016 10:26:33 GMT -5
The April 2012 board is now finger wagging at MMM, because that board is totally known for its deep discussion of issues about race, especially when there are new Hannah SKUs and BOOTD to discuss.
I'm struggling to understand how white women need to be told that they're privileged or that thoughts/actions/presumptions, etc are racist.
I'm white. I've never had someone look at me sideways or make an assumption about me based on my skin.
This isn't anything new or enlightening. And I'm truly surprised that white people need to be told that saying/thinking/doing things like "oh, let's stay away from Newark" is racist.
Like holy fuck already - if you don't know that even those kind of THOUGHTS are wrong and racist and perpetuate racism and stereotypes then you're an idiot. I'm not even going to delve into the more sophisticated stuff like WHY and HOW cities like Newark are systematically kept impoverished by white people because that's a conversation that requires intelligence and if people can't even grasp the basic shit here, then the more complicated isn't going to make any sense.
If you've made assumptions about anyone based solely on their ethnicity, it's racist and wrong.
If you can't SEE examples of perpetuated racism and stereotypes ALL around you every day and appreciate that you're privileged because those stereotypes are NOT about you - you're an idiot.
There shouldn't have to be WOC or anyone else needing to point this out to you. Enough with the "listening and learning" bullshit. Stop being assholes.
Very very few have the balls to stand up and defend since you dare say something about their poster. The absolute fangirl behavior over her is ridiculous. She has over 100,000 posts and NEVER ONCE will get into these heavy discussions. Its fucking disgusting.
I've posted with her in many boards, I think she's a fine person and all, now that you mention it, she doesn't weigh in much at all in ANY heavy thread, race related or not. I frequent CEP and I get a smile when I see others from my home board weighing in, she's one I don't think I've ever seen unless it was fluff. Which is a shame because people are very fond of her and really do look up to her in a way. When people listen to you and value your input that much, you have the priveledge to do so much good, and I think she's not taking that chance because she's uncomfortable with getting involved, or maybe thinks she'll lose friends, or possibly just doesn't give enough of a shit to be bothered. I would have liked to see her speak on serious stuff. I know nothing about her defending a racist, but I'm actually quite surprised by that...she seemed so... "Liberal"
Feel free to search for the Stellas thread on the April board. It was the final straw that ran off the last two AA women on that board. I don't know how to search or link on my phone but I'm sure someone can find it for you.
I'll be the first to admit that I like shallow crap like shopping for my kid. Of course it's shallow! And I like some fluff topics, though not nearly as many as this board can produce, hence also hanging out on cep and ml, though overall I'm not here much anymore. But, damn, how can one consistently ignore ANYTHING that isn't just fluff and read all of this and pop in with "I have nothing to say?" Really? Like in the sticky, the price of admission to participate should be that you aren't a twatwaffle. And, yeah, maybe I'll say the wrong thing and get called on it but I'd rather that than nothing at all.
Post by noodleskooze on Sept 9, 2016 10:31:32 GMT -5
I don't understand how anyone is discussing other things right now. Especially because it's evident that y'all are not the type of people who should be doling out parenting advice (as pointed out by kirkette and BHW up thread). I don't trust y'all MMMers for any sort of advice at this point. No respect.
I've posted with her in many boards, I think she's a fine person and all, now that you mention it, she doesn't weigh in much at all in ANY heavy thread, race related or not. I frequent CEP and I get a smile when I see others from my home board weighing in, she's one I don't think I've ever seen unless it was fluff. Which is a shame because people are very fond of her and really do look up to her in a way. When people listen to you and value your input that much, you have the priveledge to do so much good, and I think she's not taking that chance because she's uncomfortable with getting involved, or maybe thinks she'll lose friends, or possibly just doesn't give enough of a shit to be bothered. I would have liked to see her speak on serious stuff. I know nothing about her defending a racist, but I'm actually quite surprised by that...she seemed so... "Liberal"
Feel free to search for the Stellas thread on the April board. It was the final straw that ran off the last two AA women on that board. I don't know how to search or link on my phone but I'm sure someone can find it for you.
This shit is not new. Same shit, different board.
Is that when the realmc left for a while or am I mixing drama?
Here's my question though, because I've seen a lot of "Nata, you are so awesome". Would y'all be standing up like this for a less well liked, less established poster? Because I think we'd all like to believe the answer would be yes, and I also just as strongly think the answer for many would actually be no.
And that's the height of where we need to start unpacking this shit. Because it's not "I'm against racism when it happens to women that talk like me and are educated like me and who I think are funny (until they make me uncomfortable or get loud.)"
I agree, and agree with @mx's post along the same lines. I had typed out a second paragraph in my earlier post about how great Nata has been to get to know and how much she will be missed, but deleted it all, because that has no bearing on whether this behavior was appropriate. It's not okay, full stop.
Love of my life baby boy born 11/11. One and done not by choice; 3 years of TTC yielded 4 MMC and 2 CPs, through 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs. Focusing on making the world a better place instead...and running.
silence is complacency. I used to be the same--"I don't have anything to add" so I stayed quiet. But everyone should have something to add to this conversation at this point. So speak up, speak out, stop sitting on your hands.
She once said on April 12 that she only came there for lighthearted conversation (how nice for her), maybe that's changed but I don't know since I don't post there anymore.
She has over 103,000 posts in 4 years. How the fuck do post that much? That's what an average of 70 posts a day? And most on god damn clothes. Not one of actual substance.
I have no clue, but I sent my kid to daycare in shorts and a TMNT tshirt today.
She once said on April 12 that she only came there for lighthearted conversation (how nice for her), maybe that's changed but I don't know since I don't post there anymore.
She has over 103,000 posts in 4 years. How the fuck do post that much? That's what an average of 70 posts a day? And most on god damn clothes. Not one of actual substance.
This has been an unsolved question for me for forever. I think I even asked her once. I'm here all the damn time and I'm not even close to touching her post count. The only board overlap I've ever had with her is ML, and she didn't seem to post that much there. So is she on a board where she's pretty much talking to herself all day?
Wow. It really is crickets in here now that you said that. Pathetic. And predictable.
I'm not a fangirl of Tambcat. I think the call-out is warranted.
I lurk on ML and I've never understood why she gets away with so much. I have read some head scratching things from her. Remember the whole speech therapy issue? And everyone was falling over themselves to flame Tamb's mom (who already provides Free childcare) for not wanting a speech therapist in her house and what an inconvenience it was to Tamb?
I realize I'm not a well known poster so who cares what I say and I'm sure I've said dumb shit and shown my ass.
The April 2012 board is now finger wagging at MMM, because that board is totally known for its deep discussion of issues about race, especially when there are new Hannah SKUs and BOOTD to discuss.
I just went over there also to see if perhaps they had any words for their beloved tamb and dear god what a vapid, insipid group that is. No mention of the totally warranted tamb call out BTW.
The April 2012 board is now finger wagging at MMM, because that board is totally known for its deep discussion of issues about race, especially when there are new Hannah SKUs and BOOTD to discuss.
LOL!
This reminds me of when everyone was all excited over that hideous pink flower clothing they sold a limited number of at Target. What was that shit called? And how the hell do I post a photo? And didn't someone get a hideous pink dress and one for her daughter so they could match or some shit?
Post by thedutchgirl on Sept 9, 2016 10:42:21 GMT -5
Holy Eff. I don't go here. I don't have kids. And I don't post that much. But this ish is just another in the long line of how the white liberal elite (of which I'm admittedly a privileged member) loves to believe it can't! isn't! won't be! racist because equality! So many want to be reassured in another example of white fragility how "oh, no, we don't mean YOU are racist or privileged." If you are white you are privileged beyond what you can likely ever even comprehend. And you surely have committed micro (or macro!) aggressions. You (we) have because of our privilege.
But really. Even with all that privilege, how hard is it to not be a raging asshole?
Oh! And the "I don't come here to talk about serious topics!" is some next-level height of privilege. That category of posters deserves each other.
I'll be the first to admit that I like shallow crap like shopping for my kid. Of course it's shallow! And I like some fluff topics, though not nearly as many as this board can produce, hence also hanging out on cep and ml, though overall I'm not here much anymore. But, damn, how can one consistently ignore ANYTHING that isn't just fluff and read all of this and pop in with "I have nothing to say?" Really? Like in the sticky, the price of admission to participate should be that you aren't a twatwaffle. And, yeah, maybe I'll say the wrong thing and get called on it but I'd rather that than nothing at all.
I love this. Much of this board is fluff and just "friends" talking. That's ok. I enjoy talking about kid clothes and getting new product ideas and other non-important topics. What's NOT okay is for half the board to go silent as soon as racism and more importantly, racism on HERE, becomes the discussion.
ETA: I have to run and grab my class so I'm hurried right now. I read this again and I want to clarify. I by no mean think it was all puppies and rainbows posting before and "look at us, we are perfect"! Crap has been ongoing on this board and nobody said anything but now when this is front and center people STILL aren't saying anything. Sorry if I don't make much sense at the moment. I have to go pick up my class.
hocus2 is your typical white, liberal feminist New Yorker that thinks she's above it all bc she's raising children in the "greatest city in the world!" So colorful. So liberal.
Hey NYC/North Jersey MMMers, you are going to have to find a new token brown girl to attend your GTGs so you can feel better about your whiteness and feel enlightened. My children will no longer be the little dash of color your BHBE children get to play with every once in a while when you feel like letting them into your white bubble. We won't be helping you meet your brown friends quota anymore.
ETA: since @246baje seems to be having all the fun... FUCK YOU.
Come down to South Jersey, you won't be the token, promise! I'll take you to the good parts of Camden, I promise, if you think there are any! Or maybe a block off the boardwalk in AC, that will be fun too. It's true when they say people are much nicer in the couth, south jersey that is.
jessnpaul and I are in a local MMM FB group together. Someone kindly tagged me in a post there, saying how shitty this whole thing is. You know, b/c we have all met each other. Our kids have played together. HUMAN SHIT LIKE THAT. In that post, jessnpaul decided that instead of paying attention to what the fuck is happening here, she needed to know why I defriended her. Now, I was pretty much defriending everyone anyway, cuz why the fuck do I need to be friends with you after this, but I told her "For fucks sake, are you really going to make this about you right now? I'm defriending everyone." To which she replied "Ok" and then I was like, eh fuck it, might as well burn it all down in one shot.
THIS rubbed me the wrong way at the time but I brushed it off b/c I've been hearing this shit all my life:
But NOT TODAY FUCKERS. I posted that screenshot in the facebook post and got a "I can see where that could be taken as offensive".
HELLO, HAVE YOU NOT READ ANYTHING POSTED OVER HERE LATELY?!
I'm tired dude. I'm really fucking tired of this shit. So I left the FB group.
And I feel like I'm not even coherent anymore. My mind is blown by the stupidity.
ETA: When CloudBee (who has been an amazing friend through all of this) pointed out that my parents live in Newark (and I grew up there), she was all "Oh, I had no idea"
I never saw the Newark comments when they happened. Even if I was over at MMM at that time, I never would've opened a Jersey GTG post. But that is PRECISELY the kind of shit that white liberals are so guilty of.
That's what Midwesterners do. They use coded language. "Sketchy" areas. "Bad" schools. And nobody ever digs down and asks more. WHY are you scared riding the bus? WHY won't you go to Newark? I am noticing these things more and more because I've learned a lot more about the segregation and the issues in my community in the last couple of years, but I know that black women have noticed them for years.
When the board lets comments like these slide, it sends a message. And it's not a pretty one.
Just gonna bring this back to the end of the thread (I think its the end, I'm still trying to catch up after being stuck in the ER with Baby A and an unknown allergic reaction). I hear "sketchy" area and "bad schools" and see them for exactly what it means. And I call it out. I grew up on the edge of a "sketchy area" with "bad schools" and trust me, when I started a new school and someone asked where I was from, they never spoke to me again. AND I WAS THE SAME COLOR AS THEM. Imagine if I wasn't, for just a second, you think they would have asked me? Hell no, don't associate with "that girl." And looking back, the disassociation from that group was just fine - the true definition of basic go-nowhere bitches.
If you aren't ACTUALLY going to learn from this shit, just shut up. Really is too bad you can't teach empathy, but look at it this way. As white people, we have the privilege of being judged as an individual. Pretend for a minute that you weren't white. Put yourself in the shoes of a POC and think to yourself "how pissed would I be if someone said this shit to me/about me/near me." You would be pissed, right? And then you need to examine why you would use those coded words. Why would I say that area is sketchy. Is it because of all the POC? Is it because years and years of systematic racism that caused incomes to stay stagnant and job opportunities vanish and their houses to become rundown because its more important to feed their kids and make sure no one is cold?
If you become uncomfortable with the tone of the threads or the call outs by TamiTaylor, then good. Being uncomfortable is the start. Instead of getting defensive and pushing back, look at why you're uncomfortable. Its because you're being judged as a group and not an individual.
I hope I'm making sense here. I'm running on little sleep, a high level of anxiety because of my ER visit and a pretty good level of WTF from everything going on in this thread and the board in general.
I'm struggling to understand how white women need to be told that they're privileged or that thoughts/actions/presumptions, etc are racist.
I'm white. I've never had someone look at me sideways or make an assumption about me based on my skin.
This isn't anything new or enlightening. And I'm truly surprised that white people need to be told that saying/thinking/doing things like "oh, let's stay away from Newark" is racist.
Like holy fuck already - if you don't know that even those kind of THOUGHTS are wrong and racist and perpetuate racism and stereotypes then you're an idiot. I'm not even going to delve into the more sophisticated stuff like WHY and HOW cities like Newark are systematically kept impoverished by white people because that's a conversation that requires intelligence and if people can't even grasp the basic shit here, then the more complicated isn't going to make any sense.
If you've made assumptions about anyone based solely on their ethnicity, it's racist and wrong.
If you can't SEE examples of perpetuated racism and stereotypes ALL around you every day and appreciate that you're privileged because those stereotypes are NOT about you - you're an idiot.
There shouldn't have to be WOC or anyone else needing to point this out to you. Enough with the "listening and learning" bullshit. Stop being assholes.
This.
I don't go here, but I've been reading this thread and all of the other ones over the last week or so. I haven't posted because I felt that I had nothing of substance to add. I'm a white woman and if I'm not willing to admit that I benefit greatly from white privilege or just fucking do better than I am only a part of the problem. A group of (what I thought was) somewhat educated women should not need this much fucking hand holding.
These threads have been so eye opening for me. Of course I knew that racism existed and was still a problem, but I did not realize that it was such a pervasive part of everyday life for POC, and for that I'm deeply ashamed and questioning how I did not see it before. And I'm sorry that the WOC on this board have had to deal with so much shit and then on top of it had to be told by a group of women that their experiences are wrong or don't matter.