I'm so sorry. I hope the meds for nausea are working for you. There are a bunch that they may be able to try if some don't work for you. I'm sorry the support group is not a good source/outlet for you. And I'm sorry that they dance around end of life topics. The reality is that we are all going to have our lives end--some sooner and some later. It's something that must be addressed and not avoided. As is depression, anxiety etc. If you're open to it, maybe consider an outside source like a therapist/ spiritual care counselor to help you through. Does your oncology center have that resource? Our center has what they call integrative health which includes many resources like acupuncture, massage therapy, counseling, psychiatry, nutritionists etc. hugs and love.
Post by fivechickens on Oct 21, 2016 13:11:29 GMT -5
You are allowed to complain. You are allowed to scream 'FUCK YOU' at the top if your lungs. I bet not one person who loves you would care and most people who know what you are going through would care. And anyone who does....well fuck them.
You are strong woman even if it does not feel that way now. Repeat that to yourself.
You have helped so many people in your life it is time for them to repay it back and, even though, I don't know you or them I am certain that they have no problems doing anything and everything for you.
The one thing I wished my mom had done was been more vocal with me about what she wanted and how she felt. Sure it would have been hard to hear but if that is what she needed to do I would have gladly been there. I am certain your family will be there to listeb to you bitch, complain, even sit in silence.
Post by lovelyshoes on Oct 21, 2016 13:17:42 GMT -5
Hugs to you. You have so much going on and you have every right for self pitty. You are always so positive and encouraging towards others. I hope you start feeling better soon. Wishing you well.
I'm so sorry. The only Jong I can say is don't feel bad about asking for or accepting help from your kids and anyone else who is offering. When my dad was going through chemo all I wanted to do was help even if it was just by holding his hand on the couch and listening to him complain (which he also didn't want to do). I felt helpless but anything I could do I was happy to do. You're not a burden. They love you. Being there for you right now is all that matters to them.
Girl, get pissed, be pissed. This is fucked up. Cancer is shitty, it's terrible, and you're a good freaking person. You don't deserve this. So yeah, be mad. But then keep powering through and get well. Get strong. Get peace. Get anyway you need to get. No one is walking in your shoes. So we can't truly know what it's like. But you have many people walking beside you. Keep fighting, His!
I'm so sorry, hisno1girl. Your honesty is beautiful. Your feelings are yours and they're honest. I'll continue to keep you in my prayers. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It truly isn't fair.
V, I feel like this is the first time you've really let it alllllllll hang out here. I am so glad you did. I get that we can't offer support in the same way that others with cancer can, but hey, I'm going to do my best.
So first of all, screw trying to not feel sorry for yourself. Valid feelings, yadda yadda yadda. Why should you not allow yourself to feel that way? This is the shittiest thing you'll ever deal with. I'm sure part of that is because you are being really sensitive to your DH's feelings. Isn't there room for both sets of feelings? And second of all, I think you should tell your DH to stop getting mad at you. I know he needs an outlet too, but I think he needs to find a better way.
I also think this might be the first time you really said how boiling mad you are. OMG, I've never even met you and I'M furious for you. I'm serious, I've felt that way since you got the diagnosis. You could be a close friend, for all my emotions, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels that way.
If you think that support group really is a dud, and it just wasn't because you were new, then keep looking.
Also, I'm sorry you crapped your pants. :-( If you think there's a chance it could happen again, I'd get some depends and baby wipes. You cleaned the bathroom? That should be the last thing you need to worry about.
Imma going to send you all my light and love, and hope that you can make it to your friend's party tonight. Hugs to you and all your family, too, V.
I'm sorry. 3 months is a LONG TIME to feel horrible physically and have this crushing worry hanging over you. Don't dismiss it because others have had it longer. Your anger is valid. Many hugs to you.
Post by miniroller on Oct 21, 2016 14:07:52 GMT -5
Oh His, I wish I possibly had something to say to make you feel better. This SUUUUCKS! And it really sucks that you can expect things to get worse before they get better when all you wanna do is shake your fist at God and ask how much worse they can get?!? Right. SO my main encouragement is to please, please keep reminding yourself this is temporary. Don't think about February, think in less overwhelming timeframes like hours & days. I'm absolutely moving you up on my prayer list (@ least for a couple of days😋) & agree with all the pp's who expressed how happy we are you have us, too, man.
I can feel you on the incredible agony of WayTooOptimistic support groups! Those & the fun times of "Who has it the worst..?" Mmhmm. You're making it through this; you're surviving, & that's all ANYBODY expects right now. Many, many hugs.