Post by karmasabiotch on Dec 2, 2016 10:12:50 GMT -5
I'd also like to add that along with being self absorbed I also posted about asking if we were going to try to help ML's that were struggling this year like we did last year because I was hoping to try to pay it forward a bit with all the help I received from so many of you over the year whether it was gifts, cards, messages, or virtual hugs, support, understanding, and just listening to me cry, complain, and feel sorry for myself.
I also feel that I need to add that I have spent the last 3 weeks working 40+ hours getting over 200 kids wish lists distributed to people in the community wanting to help kids have something to open on Christmas and 60 kids that will be shopping with a hero this season.
I shouldn't have to try to prove that I'm not self absorbed. I might be in some ways, but I'm also living a life where I don't have any support system IRL. If it wasn't for someone on this board who I am exchanging presents with, I wouldn't be getting a present this this year or even a holiday card and it's not about the present it's about knowing someone is thinking of you.
Now I'm off to take my A/D and try to appear ok today.
karmasabiotch, I hate that you have to try and explain yourself to someone who is clearly missing your point. You don't need to do that. I wholeheartedly agree that a tangible item is concrete proof that someone is thinking of you and that in itself is deserved.
I understand what people are trying to say in regards to the fuckery that went on around here this year, but karma in NO WAY is making light of those situations.
I'd also like to add that along with being self absorbed I also posted about asking if we were going to try to help ML's that were struggling this year like we did last year because I was hoping to try to pay it forward a bit with all the help I received from so many of you over the year whether it was gifts, cards, messages, or virtual hugs, support, understanding, and just listening to me cry, complain, and feel sorry for myself.
I also feel that I need to add that I have spent the last 3 weeks working 40+ hours getting over 200 kids wish lists distributed to people in the community wanting to help kids have something to open on Christmas and 60 kids that will be shopping with a hero this season.
I shouldn't have to try to prove that I'm not self absorbed. I might be in some ways, but I'm also living a life where I don't have any support system IRL. If it wasn't for someone on this board who I am exchanging presents with, I wouldn't be getting a present this this year or even a holiday card and it's not about the present it's about knowing someone is thinking of you.
Now I'm off to take my A/D and try to appear ok today.
I'd also like to add that along with being self absorbed I also posted about asking if we were going to try to help ML's that were struggling this year like we did last year because I was hoping to try to pay it forward a bit with all the help I received from so many of you over the year whether it was gifts, cards, messages, or virtual hugs, support, understanding, and just listening to me cry, complain, and feel sorry for myself.
I also feel that I need to add that I have spent the last 3 weeks working 40+ hours getting over 200 kids wish lists distributed to people in the community wanting to help kids have something to open on Christmas and 60 kids that will be shopping with a hero this season.
I shouldn't have to try to prove that I'm not self absorbed. I might be in some ways, but I'm also living a life where I don't have any support system IRL. If it wasn't for someone on this board who I am exchanging presents with, I wouldn't be getting a present this this year or even a holiday card and it's not about the present it's about knowing someone is thinking of you.
Now I'm off to take my A/D and try to appear ok today.
Don't pay it any mind, Karma.
Yes, this. And again, when someone shows you who they are ...
@licia wasn't saying that karma is a self-absorbed person, though I can see how karma might read it that way. It's not about how we as individuals spend our time (or to elle's point, our money) off the board. It's that having a whole to-do to give gifts and celebrate the year with those of us who are left, when some really nasty shit has been done and some good people were run off and seriously betrayed, just seems to be sorely lacking in perspective. I get that some may have the urges to either raise up the good in the community (because of course there are kind and supportive women here too) or to kind of put a bow on things. But don't be surprised if that sentiment isn't widely shared.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
Post by karmasabiotch on Dec 2, 2016 18:38:23 GMT -5
I'm certainly not shedding any white women tears over not doing a SS and that comment is offensive. I'm discriminated against in numerous ways everyday. In the past week it was actually inferred to me that I'm not white, I'm a Jew. Thanks, Trump. And, BTW....I'm not shedding any Jewish tears over not doing a SS.
Post by notsocreepylurker on Dec 2, 2016 19:59:05 GMT -5
I know Pixy mentioned this but there's a pinned post on CEP with the charity we chose to donate to this year as well as some others. You are more than welcome to contribute to those.
Post by karmasabiotch on Dec 2, 2016 20:38:10 GMT -5
I guess I just don't understand how this post went me saying I would participate to me being self absorbed and me being accused of shedding white woman tears.
I'm not even sure I knew that there was an issue with SS last year and why doing a gift exchange is offensive this year.
I clearly missed something not being on here every day the way I use to be, because I think I must have missed a huge bat cave, Phoebe the horse, did she really have triplets, free purses for everyone, secret board type of incident.
I guess I just don't understand how this post went me saying I would participate to me being self absorbed and me being accused of shedding white woman tears.
I'm not even sure I knew that there was an issue with SS last year and why doing a gift exchange is offensive this year.
I clearly missed something not being on here every day the way I use to be, because I think I must have missed a huge bat cave, Phoebe the horse, did she really have triplets, free purses for everyone, secret board type of incident.
Someone sent a WOC a bag of dicks in the mail. No one know who sent it or how they even got her address but it was thought that this person somehow got it from a SS.
I didn't know that happened. Now I understand.
I will take the break. I don't belong on a ML board anymore anyway.
I am truly saddened that some are still not seeing it. Theres a whole lot of white women tears over wanting to do this. A few of you are doubling down on why it should go on. Im truly in disbelief and this was actually my breaking point. I just cant with this.
Many of us have reached that point awhile back. Join us over on our board Many of us have taken breaks from the boards from time to time as well (sfy come back!!! ) because it can be exhausting and maddening. But def don't lose any sleep or tears over the nonsense, it's just not worth it.
I guess I just don't understand how this post went me saying I would participate to me being self absorbed and me being accused of shedding white woman tears.
I'm not even sure I knew that there was an issue with SS last year and why doing a gift exchange is offensive this year.
I clearly missed something not being on here every day the way I use to be, because I think I must have missed a huge bat cave, Phoebe the horse, did she really have triplets, free purses for everyone, secret board type of incident.
Well for awhile (all across the boards) it has been a rather dismal place for women of color. I know many of you all haven't noticed it, but it's been around. However, it seems more recently people have decided to try to pay more attention to what we were saying. There was a big debacle between kirkette and booby that was racially motivated. That was followed by a woc getting sent a literal bag of dicks to her house and it was presumed the address was found through secret santa. More recently tamb decided it was cool to use the N word. So yeah there has been a lot going on and it's fine if you have missed some of it, but if people say there's a reason why something is offensive or not a good idea, it's probably a good idea to listen to them.
[/quote]That was followed by a woc getting sent a literal bag of dicks to her house and it was presumed the address was found through secret santa. [/quote]
Wait a goddamn minute! It was a bag of CANDY dicks, not a literal bag of dicks, right? At least get the story straight. Goodhearted people are getting run off left and right. karmasabiotch did nothing to deserve this venom.
That was followed by a woc getting sent a literal bag of dicks to her house and it was presumed the address was found through secret santa.
Wait a goddamn minute! It was a bag of CANDY dicks, not a literal bag of dicks, right? At least get the story straight. Goodhearted people are getting run off left and right. karmasabiotch did nothing to deserve this venom. [/quote]
Really?
ETA: as in, really, we're arguing semantics in here? [/quote]
Well, it's not like you can expect any less from ml. Eventually every offense becomes watered down until maybe it "wasn't so bad". This is why this place has harbored so many racists over the years.
She's listing all the infractions in an attempt to school Karma. It wasn't a **literal** bag of dicks. Get the facts straight. Things are fucking stirred up enough around here. End/
That was followed by a woc getting sent a literal bag of dicks to her house and it was presumed the address was found through secret santa. [/quote]
Wait a goddamn minute! It was a bag of CANDY dicks, not a literal bag of dicks, right? At least get the story straight. Goodhearted people are getting run off left and right. karmasabiotch did nothing to deserve this venom. [/quote]
Yes you are correct, a lot of good hearted people have gotten run off, especially those of us with brown and black skin.
I threw no venom at karma, explained the backstory since she said she didn't know the details. And like we've been saying all along if we say something is offensive to us then maybe try to listen instead of come up with a million excuses about why we shouldn't be offended.
If you all want to do secret santa go right ahead, I'm not going to lose sleep over it. But when one of mentions being offended don't dismiss those legit feelings because shit like this has been going on for years.
That was followed by a woc getting sent a literal bag of dicks to her house and it was presumed the address was found through secret santa. [/quote]
Wait a goddamn minute! It was a bag of CANDY dicks, not a literal bag of dicks, right? At least get the story straight. Goodhearted people are getting run off left and right. karmasabiotch did nothing to deserve this venom. [/quote]
GTFO out of here with "good hearted people are getting run off left and right."
The only good people being run off are WOC. The others ... well, not so much good hearted people.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
She's listing all the infractions in an attempt to school Karma. It wasn't a **literal** bag of dicks. Get the facts straight. Things are fucking stirred up enough around here. End/
In an attempt to school Karma?? For fucking real??? Karma ASKED what the issue was (when she apparently was a participant when it all went down).
The WOC aren't the ones trying to stir shit up around here. We are doing a fine enough job of that on our own.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
Also @courtneyl, I wish those 3 sentences were me listing all the infractions against women of color on these boards, but it's not. So don't come at me with some bullshit that I'm stirring things up. Once again, it doesn't matter what we say or think, we're the ones in the wrong.
I think we can acknowledge a lot of bad shit has happened on here without attacking the one poster who just *might* have a good excuse for having been more caught up in her own shit than with the very serious issues that happened here. If people want to get mad at someone over wanting to do secret Santa, by all means, get mad at me but leave her alone. Seriously. There are a lot of good points that have been made this year but attacking a woman whose husband died for being self absorbed is not one of them.
Jesus H Christ. This board deserves fucking coal in its stocking.
When people from a marginalized group tell you that they are being discriminated against/hurt/targeted, that's the end of the conversation. Done. There is no "well, but..." No. End of story. Sorry you don't get your $25 holiday exchange this year. Donate the money to the damn Southern Poverty Law Center.
She's listing all the infractions in an attempt to school Karma. It wasn't a **literal** bag of dicks. Get the facts straight. Things are fucking stirred up enough around here. End/
Are you serious with this? Even IF Karma wrongly assumed someone was sent a real live bag of hacked off bloody dicks, the material they were made of is so far from the point I can't even understand what your defense is here, especially since Karma asked what happened!
She's listing all the infractions in an attempt to school Karma. It wasn't a **literal** bag of dicks. Get the facts straight. Things are fucking stirred up enough around here. End/
Are you serious with this? Even IF Karma wrongly assumed someone was sent a real live bag of hacked off bloody dicks, the material they were made of is so far from the point I can't even understand what your defense is here, especially since Karma asked what happened!
And I had honestly forgotten they were candy since that is so far from the point. Obviously it wasn't a bunch of bloody male dicks, eye roll. And apparently Karma participated in the bag of dicks thread, so now I'm even more confused about the confusion of what has gone down this year on the boards. This place is just the gift that keeps on giving.