"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Post by Captain Serious on Dec 21, 2016 17:38:58 GMT -5
But quite the same, but today a co-worker shared that she was having a boy (her second) and another 20-something co-worker asked her if she is excited (specifically about the boy vs. a girl).
Um yeah constantly, ever since 20 weeks into my first pregnancy. Some people make having boys sound like a very unfortunate curse. I really enjoy making those people feel uncomfortable.
Many of my friends laughed when I told them that my first kid was going to be a girl because they couldn't picture me doing so-called girl stuff.
But that didn't really bother me because I pretty much agreed.
With this boy in utero, the only comments I get are "It's nice to have one of each" and "Now your daughter can also have a little brother like you do!"
Post by ciescalove on Dec 21, 2016 17:46:02 GMT -5
I have 3 girls and I lost count of how many people 1) assumed my husband was in some way upset because #3 doesn't have a penis and 2) asked if/when we were going to try again to "hopefully get a boy".
I always tell them that we worry more about health than genitalia and that there's nothing my husband could teach a son that he can't teach our daughters.
Nothing like that, people just love to talk about how I better have/must hope for/need a girl next. Nope. A girl would be great, but another boy would also be excellent!
I've gotten comments about whether or not I am sad that I'm having another boy, things along those lines. I find the comments annoying. Our plan was always to have two kids. We will be stopping with two kids. The sex of our children never factored into any decision making regarding our decision to have more. And, for the record, I am over the moon about having two boys. People are just fucking weird.
Also, major pet peeve, I cannot stand when people ask me if we know the "gender" of our child. Nope, I have no idea what his gender identity is going to be. Hard to say since I haven't even met him, let alone exposed him to anything outside of my uterus. Thanks for asking!
Oh! Not even kind of related, but still a pregnancy story. A college student who used to work at the restaurant I managed commented during my first pregnancy that she hoped I didn't have a boy because it would be awful if he was short like DH and I are. Men are supposed to be tall! I'm a bit surprised she didn't shrivel up and die on the spot when she saw the look on my face.
I've gotten a few "Oh, is your husband disappointed?" about us having a second girl, which I am sure will get more annoying the larger and crankier I get. So far, though, I've just said "Not at all!" and moved on. I try not to even engage crap like that.
I'm surprised not everyone has gotten comments. I hear them. All. The. Time.
I've told this one on here before but DH's best friend from home has 2 girls. Their oldest is just a few months younger than my youngest. When we saw them for the first time his friend like was like here, want to hold the baby and thrust her at me. I mean, I had a baby so I wasn't like jonesing to hold someone else's. His wife said "Oh, I bet holding BABYNAME makes readyin07 wish she had a little girl."
After they left I told my MIL what I should have said was "Oh, I bet holding my DS2 (who was seriously the cutest little squish) makes you wish you had a cuter baby." Not like I would have ever, but it would have served her right .
I've gotten a few "Oh, is your husband disappointed?" about us having a second girl, which I am sure will get more annoying the larger and crankier I get. So far, though, I've just said "Not at all!" and moved on. I try not to even engage crap like that.
When I was having my third it went from "is he disappointed" to "oh he must be so disappointed!" And if I could have, I would have set them ablaze with just my eyes.
Post by nicechicken on Dec 21, 2016 18:07:25 GMT -5
I coached cheerleading, and when I had a boy, everyone was like "Awwwww...you need another one so you can do the whole "dance/cheer thing!" I was like: 1.) If he wants to do cheer or dance, that is 100% fine with me 2.) I don't want a girl, because I deal with teenage girls on a regular basis-WHY WOULD I WANT ONE? I'm set with the 35 I have.
What I HAVE heard is people referring to DS3 as an "Oops!" baby, because he was born 7 years after DS2. Yeah no fucker! None of my children are "accidents". That really frosted my Irish ass when people would say that. Grrr.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Post by speckledfrog on Dec 21, 2016 18:21:26 GMT -5
I haven't had anyone be that blatant about it, but I have found that, for some bizarre reason, many people think that having more than one boy (or boys at all) is a bad thing. I've always wanted boys, so I just don't get it.
I have some to realize that people simply don't think anymore before speaking. And I admit, I think I have at times put my foot in my mouth or at the very least, had things come out far different than it sounded in my head, but I just do not get this.
Then you also get the follow up from moms justifying just how great it is having boys/girls. I think it is equally amazing and hard having kids. period. Sex has little to with the fights, headaches, giggles, cuddles, hugs and kisses and just seeing them blossom and grow.
I mean, imagine his reaction if you replied, "Yes, I imagine I am feeling the same disappointment your mom must have felt when she had you."
Post by imhischeeseburger on Dec 21, 2016 18:31:40 GMT -5
With my second pregnancy everyone told me that I needed to have a boy (my first was a girl.) I was so annoyed that I told everyone I hoped it was a girl, because that's what I wanted. I actually didn't care, but I didn't want people thinking that I only got pregnant again to try and have a boy. It's not like I can choose if the baby will be a boy or girl. I can't believe people told me what I needed to have. With my 3rd pregnancy I didn't get any crazy comments since I already had one of each so people didn't really care I guess.
People are weird. I am guilty of saying things like 'Oh yay, you'll have one of each' or 'Two boys/girls, that's great, they can play together'. Mainly b/c I don't care what you're having but feel I should say something when you tell me, or even worse when you have a gender reveal. It's a...baby!!!!
I think I just say, ", How exciting!", because it is. having a baby is equal parts exciting and scary, but you don't want to bring that up. lol
Post by sapphireblue on Dec 21, 2016 18:46:55 GMT -5
When I was pregnant with my son, I got a vibe at times that people thought having a girl was better (he was my first child).
I wanted a boy! I always wanted a boy. And he is awesome.
Now I am pregnant with a girl and, to be honest, although I know I will love her just as much and it will be great--aside from the teenage years most likely--I kind of wanted two boys.
I don't show it but sometimes the comments bother me about how great it is I will have one of each.
And when my mother and her best friend found out it was a girl, my father reported that they were "shrieking with excitement" and that pissed me off. Because I knew they wouldn't have been if it had been another boy. And what child could be more wonderful than my son?
A coworker today told me that he feels bad for me because I have a boy and all moms "want to do the girly thing". That's the first time I've experienced someone commented on my kids sex and I was actually pretty offended that someone said they felt bad for me because my baby is a boy.
Has anyone received other asshole comments like that?
And this is such bullshit. I don't really want to do the girly thing. My daughter, when she is born in March, will wear the same clothes my son did. I don't see the point in buying anything new for her when his old clothes are perfectly fine. She will definitely be wearing some Red Sox gear!
And to say he feels bad for you? Unbelievably rude! I completely understand why you were offended.
When I was pregnant with my son, I got a vibe at times that people thought having a girl was better (he was my first child).
I wanted a boy! I always wanted a boy. And he is awesome.
Now I am pregnant with a girl and, to be honest, although I know I will love her just as much and it will be great--aside from the teenage years most likely--I kind of wanted two boys.
I don't show it but sometimes the comments bother me about how great it is I will have one of each.
And when my mother and her best friend found out it was a girl, my father reported that they were "shrieking with excitement" and that pissed me off. Because I knew they wouldn't have been if it had been another boy. And what child could be more wonderful than my son?
I don't know, people are stupid.
I am weirdly concerned that DH's family is not going to be as excited about this baby when we tell them he's a boy. Which is so weird because I am beyond thrilled about it. But H has even said that it would be a more fun surprise (for everyone else, not for us) if he was a girl and I know he's right. It bothers me. Whatever. DH and I are excited, so I suppose that's all that really matters.
Post by fivechickens on Dec 21, 2016 18:59:49 GMT -5
When I was pregnant I worked at an elementary school and was talking to another pregnant mom about babies and stuff. Another parent asked if I knew if they were boys or girls. I told him girls and he responded 'all girls?? I am sorry' Before I had a chance the other parent, who was having her second girl, said 'what is wrong with girls???' He stammered and said 'oh...uhhhhh...,nothing'. It was awkward while he waited for his son.
Post by cabbagecabbage on Dec 21, 2016 19:04:32 GMT -5
I get the "perfect!" (Gag) comments about my one of each sex and I think it's fucking lame. My childhood best friend has four boys and she's heard everything and shuts it all down.
My H so adores our DD that he openly wanted a second girl. We have a generation of girl cousins and we were shocked to have a boy. I cried excited and sad tears. I wanted DD to have a sister. I didn't want to learn boy toys and deal with ugly baby boy clothes. Now that he's here and I couldn't love him more, I know it's silly. He's awesome.
And when my mother and her best friend found out it was a girl, my father reported that they were "shrieking with excitement" and that pissed me off. Because I knew they wouldn't have been if it had been another boy. And what child could be more wonderful than my son?
I don't know, people are stupid.
I am weirdly concerned that DH's family is not going to be as excited about this baby when we tell them he's a boy. Which is so weird because I am beyond thrilled about it. But H has even said that it would be a more fun surprise (for everyone else, not for us) if he was a girl and I know he's right. It bothers me. Whatever. DH and I are excited, so I suppose that's all that really matters.
Totally understand your feelings. I am glad you are both excited. I just think two brothers is the best. They can roughhouse together and hopefully be close. Of course, a boy and girl can too but there is just something so cute about two little boys, imo.
I guess people can't win, because it bothers me that people ARE more excited that it is a girl. I feel like it slights my son or something. I hide my feelings, there's no point getting outwardly prickly about it, but I understand what you are saying!
I am weirdly concerned that DH's family is not going to be as excited about this baby when we tell them he's a boy. Which is so weird because I am beyond thrilled about it. But H has even said that it would be a more fun surprise (for everyone else, not for us) if he was a girl and I know he's right. It bothers me. Whatever. DH and I are excited, so I suppose that's all that really matters.
Totally understand your feelings. I am glad you are both excited. I just think two brothers is the best. They can roughhouse together and hopefully be close. Of course, a boy and girl can too but there is just something so cute about two little boys, imo.
I guess people can't win, because it bothers me that people ARE more excited that it is a girl. I feel like it slights my son or something. I hide my feelings, there's no point getting outwardly prickly about it, but I understand what you are saying!
No, I completely understand your feelings too. And I would probably feel similarly slighted for DS if I was having a girl this time. Actually, I would probably feel more slighted for my non-existent second son. lol
I guess I just wish that people would mirror the feelings of the parents. Like, I knew my best friend was a little disappointed about having a second boy. I was encouraging about how great it would be but also sensitive. Now, with me, she is appropriately excited because she knows I am thrilled. Same exact situation, but a different reaction based on the feelings of the parent. It doesn't seem that hard to react accordingly and with an appropriate level of emotion.
Post by cabbagecabbage on Dec 21, 2016 19:48:35 GMT -5
The other thing that happened when we had a boy was that DH's mom and his grandparents were so excited about it that it was somewhat offensive to our daughter and their other granddaughters. They had not shown that level of enthusiasm for the first grandchild. It was bizarre and super clear that a boy was better to them in some way. It really bothered me.
People are weird. I am guilty of saying things like 'Oh yay, you'll have one of each' or 'Two boys/girls, that's great, they can play together'. Mainly b/c I don't care what you're having but feel I should say something when you tell me, or even worse when you have a gender reveal. It's a...baby!!!!
My mom asked if we'd have a gender reveal party. What? No. it's a 50/50 shot, why are people so OMGSURPRISED? I'll show you my surprised face if you tell me I'm growing a cyborg in there.