I'm sorry for all the constant blathering about me but I need an outlet.
I spoke with the people at MD Anderson on Monday or Tuesday and they said they can't see me while I'm in chemo but they make exceptions. They should confirm with my doctor.
My doctor's office called and said that
1. They are stopping my chemo treatment so I can be seen "as soon as possible to give you better chances"
2. MDA is going to get my records by tomorrow
3. MDA will very likely remove my stomach
All of this racing to get me to Houston is freaking me the FUCK out.
The talk of "giving me better chances" is freaking me the FUCK out.
I am scared of dying. Not for my self but for my family and the people I love.
My God, how am I gong to tell my children about this? And my parents? I can't even think about it without completely breaking down.
My friend's parents just buried their son and my dad said that burying a child is a parents worst nightmare.
I've never told my children, parents, or siblings that I was terminal. DH knows. Our priest knows, and maybe two or three very close friends know.
I have an appointment with my priest tomorrow to talk about all of this. He's been a godsend for me.
Post by themysteriouswife on Feb 2, 2017 11:31:14 GMT -5
You tell them what you tell us. They may need a little time to process and they will have questions. They will support you. Your stories show your family is loving and caring. You will continue to be strong and fight.
Post by emoflamingo on Feb 2, 2017 11:32:08 GMT -5
I am so sorry. MD Anderson really is great, a friend of mine's mom has been going there for treatments for cancer in her spine and hips and it's really a good place to go. I know you said before that writing letters was too hard for you, but I would give it another shot. I would have loved to have more letters from my mom. I have the one she left when she went on her vacation and I cherish it because it was the last thing I had before she died 2 days later.
hisno1girl, I put you on the prayer list every week at church. I'll continue to do so.
I do encourage you to be open with your children. My mother's father had stomach cancer in the late 80s. He hid his diagnosis and its severity from my mother because he didn't want to trouble her while she was going through her divorce from my father. The downside, though, was that his death kind of blindsided her. Nobody is ever truly prepared to lose a parent, but I think more knowledge is always good.
All of the hugs lady. All of them. MD Anderson is amazing though, they're are one of the top places to go in the country so if they say they can help they mean it.
I'm a dirty lurker but I've been following your saga. First, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Fuck Cancer. Second, I'd be freaking out with you, if it were me. However, I'm a sort of neutral 3rd party (of course I'm cheering for you!!) - removing your stomach will remove (most of) the cancer, right? How can this change your prognosis? I know it's NOT AT ALL the same but I've had 80% of my stomach removed (weight loss surgery). It's totally freaking and daunting but I really, really hope this gives you longer with your precious family!
Post by lovelyshoes on Feb 2, 2017 11:58:50 GMT -5
I am sorry. That's a lot to process, but you are going to be treated by the top doctors there and that's important. I wish you lots of strength and so many good thoughts.
Don't you ever apologize for coming here and venting. This is what we are here for. You are so loved. You ARE going to get through this. Have faith, and if at times you are doubting that faith I am praying hard enough for both of us.
This X a million, His. Your Internet lady friends have got your back.
We love you V. Take care of yourself and let us share in your worries with you, that is what we are here for. You are in my daily prayers and thoughts.
Don't apologize for having to talk about this. It's a lot for you to deal with, and we are here to listen. Sorry you are dealing with all of this but it sounds like that is a good place for you to be. Hugs
I'm totally serious when I say that I will bring you things when you are at MDA. It's about 45 minutes from me but I would be happy to bring things or just watch TV with you when I can get a babysitter or DH is home.