Week of 7/30

[icedcoffee]

OMG konapoppy they are so yummy.

ivy I also wanted to apologize if my comment struck a nerve for you or any of the twin mamas. There are so many amazing things about twins.

[loira]

Aug 3, 2018 5:33:16 GMT -5 cherryvalance said:

Aug 2, 2018 22:40:28 GMT -5 konapoppy said:

Okay, sorry, I have to be "that twin mom". The pregnancy is not just stressful - it is high risk. I can't speak for a fraternal twin pregnancy experience, but identical twin pregnancies are very closely monitored to ensure one twin isn't getting more blood than the other. If they are, it can be deadly for one or both twins. A twin mom on here recently had to have the the laser surgery while she was pregnant since she developed TTTS. I had 20 ultrasounds during my pregnancy to ensure the girls were doing well and was induced before 37 weeks to increase the odds of them arriving safely.

I can totally appreciate the dream of one pregnancy and having an instant family, but it was the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. (sorry if I stressed you out, newly pregnant twin folks. I LOVE my girls and can't imagine life any other way)

Oh, I think everyone knows multiples come with very high risks, but I didn't want to make that too big of a focal point in a thread where people are stressing about having twins. A lot of people did that before my induction and it stressed me out so much more.

Besides, I was really speaking to my own experience with finding pregnancy very anxiety-producing. I wake up nervous every day, just waiting for the next ultrasound or to finally be able to hear the heartbeat on my Doppler. In some ways, would it be nice to have our two kids and be done and not have had to do another round of IVF or deal with PGAL? Yes. (In SOME ways)

This. I don't think anyone here is under the impression that twin pregnancy is low risk. I had quite a high risk and stressful pregnancy with A, so I was imagining something similar in wanting 2 for 1 pregnancy. But Radishes also makes a good point - the type of pregnancy I had with A would have been even more stressful with twins because all the problems I had would have been magnified.

[konapoppy]

Obviously everyone can and should feel how they feel. People want twins for all kinds of reasons.

However, twin moms get comments like "would be nice to deal with stressing over one pregnancy, but getting a couple of kids" all the time. As someone who has had multiple losses and an identical twin pregnancy, I can say that having a twin pregnancy was really terrifying for me. When you are in the thick of a twin pregnancy, hearing other people say "would be nice" is not particularly thoughtful. That was my point.

[cherryvalance]

Aug 3, 2018 10:14:32 GMT -5 konapoppy said:

Obviously everyone can and should feel how they feel. People want twins for all kinds of reasons.

However, twin moms get comments like "would be nice to deal with stressing over one pregnancy, but getting a couple of kids" all the time. As someone who has had multiple losses and an identical twin pregnancy, I can say that having a twin pregnancy was really terrifying for me. When you are in the thick of a twin pregnancy, hearing other people say "would be nice" is not particularly thoughtful. That was my point.

This obviously struck a nerve with you, so I'm sorry for upsetting you.

I still can definitely see why several women who struggled to get or stay pregnant would have wanted that particular aspect of a twin pregnancy. Clearly, it was a sentiment shared by several posters, and I was just commenting on how that doesn't seem odd at all to me.

[lagom]

Aug 2, 2018 22:40:28 GMT -5 konapoppy said:

Aug 2, 2018 21:06:53 GMT -5 cherryvalance said:

Makes sense. After all the treatments, it would be nice to deal with stressing over one pregnancy, but getting a couple of kids.

Okay, sorry, I have to be "that twin mom". The pregnancy is not just stressful - it is high risk. I can't speak for a fraternal twin pregnancy experience, but identical twin pregnancies are very closely monitored to ensure one twin isn't getting more blood than the other. If they are, it can be deadly for one or both twins. A twin mom on here recently had to have the the laser surgery while she was pregnant since she developed TTTS. I had 20 ultrasounds during my pregnancy to ensure the girls were doing well and was induced before 37 weeks to increase the odds of them arriving safely.

I can totally appreciate the dream of one pregnancy and having an instant family, but it was the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. (sorry if I stressed you out, newly pregnant twin folks. I LOVE my girls and can't imagine life any other way)

This actually makes me feel better for thinking all of this is a little overwhelming. I am 14 weeks and have already had 4 ultrasounds, both an MFM and OB group tracking my progress and giving me calendars of when to do what. It is a lot to wrap my mind around.