mbcdefg , I get it. I'm glad my H still has to go to work (can't WFH). @@@@@ We've allowed our kids to get on an awful sleep schedule, but I don't feel too bad because it gives me alone time from 8am when H leaves for work until 9:30 (or 10) when my kids finally wake up. I WFH and it gives me a couple hours every morning to work in peace.
@@ My kids are on an awful sleep schedule too. At first it was great because I had alone time in the morning but now at night I get really upset about them screwing around 2-3 hours after I sent them to bed. They've been making noise until 11 or 12 lately and it is wearing me down to have no quiet time at night.
@@@ the late nights are our trade off too. We've pushed back bedtime until 10:30 and one of them is usually still awake until at least 11:30. I'm exhausted and on edge by the time they are all asleep.
I scheduled a telehealth appt with my PCP for Monday to ask for meds for my anxiety. This thread really prompted me to take a good hard look at how I'm coping (very poorly) and my personal life is suffering, and now it's starting to affect my professional life. I literally have not wanted to work at all this week and just want to lay in bed and sleep. I can't sleep much at night these days, but sleep is the only time I have a break from the anxiety. Probably have a smidge of depression mixed in as well, because I've not had my extrovert battery charged in a long fucking time. Hoping that my PCP will start me back on the same meds I used a few years ago. Since it's an antidepressant, hopefully that will knock both things out at the same time.
I scheduled a telehealth appt with my PCP for Monday to ask for meds for my anxiety. This thread really prompted me to take a good hard look at how I'm coping (very poorly) and my personal life is suffering, and now it's starting to affect my professional life. I literally have not wanted to work at all this week and just want to lay in bed and sleep. I can't sleep much at night these days, but sleep is the only time I have a break from the anxiety. Probably have a smidge of depression mixed in as well, because I've not had my extrovert battery charged in a long fucking time. Hoping that my PCP will start me back on the same meds I used a few years ago. Since it's an antidepressant, hopefully that will knock both things out at the same time.
I "liked" in solidarity/support. I'm so glad you're taking a look at how it's going and how you can help things.
mbcdefg, have you told your H that and asked for at least 30 min to one hour a day for alone time? It seems that your H may get that (and if not, then he should ask for it too). My H and I are both working from home and looking after a needy puppy and we both need some alone time or we start yelling at each other for no reason.
I’ve been working upstairs for at least a few hours a day since he’s finished school for the year. I also got handed the responsibilities of someone who resigned recently, @@@@ and I’m soon going to help cover for someone going on maternity leave. @@@
He’s working hard to help me and I appreciate it. I may be being unreasonable being this frustrated. The days when there’s almost nothing going on are somehow the days that feel like it’s all “too much,” somehow.
My dad spent most of the last year and a half in the hospital after having a triple bypass and complications-he is very high risk. He also won't take covid 19 seriously and thinks its all "blown out of proportion". Thankfully he's moving here to my neighborhood this week instead of living 3 hours away. And he's learned, and admitted lol, that arguing with me is pointless so he'll stay home and take the precautions I've outlined for him. But of course today my state had it's 4th highest numbers since this all started and we haven't even hit the July 4th numbers. It's starting to feel not just like it's never going to end but just keep getting worse. So,yes, today I am definitely feeling worse.
I’m actually feeling much better. I do elective treatment to fix smiles and bites. It gives me a lot of hope that people are still coming in and choosing to start treatment even though our smiles will be covered by masks for the foreseeable future. That means a lot to me. Also Fauci threw dentists under the bus in a WaPo article so I’m glad my patients and community are using their best judgment to come into my office and trust me. That is also reassuring.
I was surprised by that article and also how he talked about non-emergent doctor visits.
I was nodding along in agreement with the opinions of the doctors in the article until he said stay home from the dentist. Then I stopped reading. Like it's ok for the cleaning lady to come by every week but avoid the doctor and try to "telehealth" your way through your ailments? Sometimes you need a face to face! My psych professionals all want to do virtual visits and I hate it. My husband is home all day every day and won't be leaving the house anytime soon (at least until January). I don't want him hearing about my personal mental issues that involve him as a major factor of stress in my life. So I have to drive somewhere and do the appointments in my car which really sucks. I'm ready to go back and sit distanced for these visits.
I shouldn’t complain. We’re all healthy, my and MH’s jobs weren’t affected, the handful of COVID-infected friends we know of have recovered and seem OK. New Jersey seems to have done a decent job handling things and stores/restaurants/outdoor activities have been reopening in the last few weeks. We’ve been able to spend time with loved ones in safe ways.
@@@
We have a 3 year-old and pulled her from daycare in mid-March. She’s a good kid but she needs *constant* attention, and it’s really draining. MH (Teacher who has been WFH since March and is off for the summer) is also a complainer by nature, which I hate, and now that we’re all up each others’ asses all day/every day and the two of them just follow me around the house complaining, I’m just emotionally exhausted. I feel like I’m just here to serve meals and wash clothes and listen to the two of them constantly whine at me. I’m tired of making constant decisions about lunch/dinner, and having to do bigger shopping trips than normal because I don’t want to forget anything I need or might conceivably want within the next two weeks. MH hasn’t gotten any word about if/when he needs to return to the classroom and keeps bitching about it. I’m tired of having to constantly negotiate with a three year old, and honestly it’s bringing up bad memories of my childhood when I’d get screamed at or smacked or shoved up against a wall for far far less, and I’m getting resentful that I constantly need to be patient and sweet while explaining for the 40th time that, yeah, you *do* have to wash your hands after touching the toilet all over and making me hang out in the tiny goddamn bathroom for 20 minutes. And I don’t know how much of this is related to COVID or if it’s just me being generally unhappy, because I’ve been dealing with a lot of this same resentment since before quarantine started.
It’s all going to be like this until at LEAST September, if my H can return to work and we can send DD back to daycare. And that’s if the rest of these selfish shitheads around us don’t fuck everything up by breathing all over each other and not following the simple-ass rules.
I kind of get your H being upset and having anxiety about the unknowns of the upcoming school year. But the bolded would put me over the edge if H was on break and I was still expected to do all of this. What does your H do around the house? Maybe a project would keep him occupied - does a room need painting or something? Or maybe he can do the laundry and cook the meals.
As for the huge shopping trips - I've stopped trying to shop for 10-14 days at a time. I go shopping at least 1x a week. I wear my mask, wipe down the cart, use hand sanitizer as soon as I walk out of the store. It's much less exhausting than trying to think of everything we might possibly need and having my cart so full I can barely make it to check-out without something falling ou.
Seconded about the shopping. I try to do the "main" shopping every 2 weeks - so I meal plan 2 weeks at a time and buy everything for dinners (unless something I know I'm not going to eat for a while is really perishable). Then I buy lunches, snacks, produce, etc every week, and produce as much as I can at the farmer's market and bakery items I shop for day-of.
I actually think I'm going to keep this up post-covid.
Doing it this way is much less stressful for me - shopping everything 2 weeks at a time was awful for me but I generally feel pretty secure if I have ~2 weeks of dinner on hand.
Well, I just was watching the movie Little Women and had to turn it off because I burst into tears at their whole family being together. I miss my family and I hate that I have no idea when i will see them again. This is the longest I've ever gone without seeing any of them and the idea that it could be a whole year or more kills me. I never wanted to live this far apart to begin with, and never imagined a circumstance where we wouldn't be able to see each other for an extended time. And my closest family is in a hotspot so that adds to worry.
Well, I just was watching the movie Little Women and had to turn it off because I burst into tears at their whole family being together. I miss my family and I hate that I have no idea when i will see them again. This is the longest I've ever gone without seeing any of them and the idea that it could be a whole year or more kills me. I never wanted to live this far apart to begin with, and never imagined a circumstance where we wouldn't be able to see each other for an extended time. And my closest family is in a hotspot so that adds to worry.
I’m sorry you’re struggling. I’m right there with you. I have some local friends but most everyone else I cherish is a plane ride away. It sucks so much. I find myself getting really envious of people with local family and best friends.
I have a dream last night that I was on an airplane — one of those big 787 Dreamliners — and it shook me so much that I was up for the day at 5:40am. It was the first time I dreamt of something from “before,“ and it was unsettling.
Anyone, no advice, just commiseration.
ETA: Also, I’m sorry (((winecat))) — that’s a ton to deal with.
I read an article today about how US passports are basically worthless now because we're not allowed outside our country. This realization that there may be no international travel for actual years just kind of flattened me.
That by itself isn't really the whole thing... it's just the cumulative realization of how incredibly awful our country's response has been to all of this. So many people are dead. Life isn't going to be "normal" again for a very long time. Our economy is in shambles, not entirely because of COVID, but because of our inability to come together to get this under control. Trump's pardon of Stone is just... I don't know... not surprising, but has me incredibly frustrated by the idea that he is still going to garner somewhere in the neighborhood of 50% of the votes in this country and all of this together just makes me so disgusted.
I feel like I am breaking my kid. She's an only child and so lonely. She sobs whenever my husband or I have to leave the house because she doesn't want us "to die from the germs." I don't know how to help her.
Post by sporklemotion on Jul 11, 2020 13:00:47 GMT -5
I’m struggling more lately because I feel like there is no end in sight. Weirdly, I think the fact that I’m in an area that is pretty compliant with guidelines (MA) is making me stress more. Because I see tons of masks, social distancing, have limited activities, and cases are still increasing nationally. So I feel like we have worked so hard and it’s still not over. And I’m stressing over all of the things I’ve done that are probably too risky (we stayed at a place that got more crowded than it should have been, I’ve done some “frivolous” errands), even though we are doing pretty well at staying safe overall.
I have no confidence in our leadership, and that scares me.
I guess mostly I’m just hopeless. People near me mostly do what they need to do (so, our lives are really boring & kinda lonely) but if general US won’t distance, mask, or get vaccinated, there’s no hope, from my perspective of ever traveling, working, or even just browsing the damn library! None of my family lives here, none of my husband’s family lives here. I get to watch friends & neighbors happily increasing their bubble to include local family which we can’t do & also makes it more risky to partner w another family.
Adding in general political fuckery, the warmest summer ever (beating the past few years in my area), and general exhaustion at trying to keep upbeat for @@@ the kids so they don’t downward spiral with me.
I started this off concerned bc confident we could pull thru but seriously underestimated the selfishness of the average American and the lack of sense in state governments (fed is a shot show, obv)
I’m struggling more lately because I feel like there is no end in sight. Weirdly, I think the fact that I’m in an area that is pretty compliant with guidelines (MA) is making me stress more. Because I see tons of masks, social distancing, have limited activities, and cases are still increasing nationally. So I feel like we have worked so hard and it’s still not over. And I’m stressing over all of the things I’ve done that are probably too risky (we stayed at a place that got more crowded than it should have been, I’ve done some “frivolous” errands), even though we are doing pretty well at staying safe overall.
I have no confidence in our leadership, and that scares me.
I really think this is a big part of how I am feeling lately.
I feel so overwhelmed. There are still protests going on and I want to be a part of them, but how do I pick and choose, and would my showing up to a few do any good?
I should be using this time to exercise and get in shape but I’m not,
I don’t even want to meal plan, even though I’m not cooking more than I ever was. I just don’t want to deal with it.
DH seems to be thriving, but lately it’s hitting me. I need direction.
I’m struggling more lately because I feel like there is no end in sight. Weirdly, I think the fact that I’m in an area that is pretty compliant with guidelines (MA) is making me stress more. Because I see tons of masks, social distancing, have limited activities, and cases are still increasing nationally. So I feel like we have worked so hard and it’s still not over. And I’m stressing over all of the things I’ve done that are probably too risky (we stayed at a place that got more crowded than it should have been, I’ve done some “frivolous” errands), even though we are doing pretty well at staying safe overall.
I have no confidence in our leadership, and that scares me.
Allll of this. It feels like everything we've done is so pointless because it just continues to get worse. And I keep thinking about people in other countries, but they are largely getting back to normal after shutting down because, you know, they have effective leadership.
I was feeling like we had found an even keel - then I twisted my ankle hiking (on an empty trail - we didn’t encounter anyone during the hour and a half of hiking except during the 5 minutes I spent sprawled all over the trail getting myself and the kids back together when two groups passed us.
So now the little bit of outdoor ‘fun’ we were having has been shut down.
Well, I just was watching the movie Little Women and had to turn it off because I burst into tears at their whole family being together. I miss my family and I hate that I have no idea when i will see them again. This is the longest I've ever gone without seeing any of them and the idea that it could be a whole year or more kills me. I never wanted to live this far apart to begin with, and never imagined a circumstance where we wouldn't be able to see each other for an extended time. And my closest family is in a hotspot so that adds to worry.
I’m sorry you’re struggling. I’m right there with you. I have some local friends but most everyone else I cherish is a plane ride away. It sucks so much. I find myself getting really envious of people with local family and best friends.
I have a dream last night that I was on an airplane — one of those big 787 Dreamliners — and it shook me so much that I was up for the day at 5:40am. It was the first time I dreamt of something from “before,“ and it was unsettling.
Anyone, no advice, just commiseration.
ETA: Also, I’m sorry (((winecat ))) — that’s a ton to deal with.
Thank you, and I'm sorry you're struggling too. I know it's been hard for you being so far away too. I am envious of people who have their loved ones close enough to expand their bubbles to, too. I have definitely started feeling even more isolated seeing others have what I can't. I am a homebody who really enjoys my H's company, but having that be my WHOLE in-person daily life is taking that to an extreme!
I wonder if this whole thing will prompt more people to move closer to their families. Unfortunately, my family is at a impasse with that because mine moved to a place I am confident I don't want to live (and the way COVID has been handled there has only validated that) and I don't see them moving here (too expensive). So I really just hope things go back to normal at some point...
I was doing better a few weeks ago. Started sending my 4yo back to daycare and it was like a huge weight lifted. I wasn’t stressed about WFH anymore, the kids weren’t screaming at each other all day anymore.
But now trying to navigate potential virtual learning and WFH for the foreseeable future, I’m starting to really stress out. How in the world am I supposed to facilitate my 2nd grader’s learning (which I’m sure will be more rigorous than last year’s NTI) and work? No employee is going to be that flexible. Does this mean I‘ll have to quit my job? What’s going to happen to my career? I worry that if I become a stay at home mom, I will resent my husband and kids.
I feel angry seeing people go about their lives and taking trips and whatnot. Meanwhile I’m in a relatively well controlled state and haven’t done shit.
@@@ And my kid’s daycare is still not open. Meanwhile people in other places are going to bars, casinos and the beach. Wtf is that?!? And when will my kid get to go to school?
Yes! I cried this week for the first time in a while. I had hope for a few weeks as things were looking good and life was opening up again. Now we're on a backward slide and I don't see an end in sight. I also feel bitter when I see friends back in my home state, which is currently doing even worse than us, continuing on as though none of this is happening. I'm willing to put in the work and do what is right to protect lives, but I also desperately need to feel hope for the future. I don't do well with the unknown.
@@@@@@@
Part of my tears had to do with my kids. They finally had activities outside the home again and we saw an immediate improvement in their mood and behavior. DS has been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks. It was like a weight had lifted when he was able to get out of the house and do something physical with other kids. That was cancelled again this week. I know why and it was the right decision but it still stung. DS understands as well but is crushed. Teenagers are not meant to spend this much time with only their parents and younger sibling.
I feel angry seeing people go about their lives and taking trips and whatnot. Meanwhile I’m in a relatively well controlled state and haven’t done shit.
@@@ And my kid’s daycare is still not open. Meanwhile people in other places are going to bars, casinos and the beach. Wtf is that?!? And when will my kid get to go to school?
100% on the first part. I know I've mentioned it several times but my boss went to the beach this week. The mother f-in beach. And has no plans to 2 week quarentine. Now I get to spend the next 4 weeks being even more paranoid and careful than before. 2 weeks that should be her quarantine and then 2 weeks for my own. @@@i'm struggling with knowing that I still need to send the girls to daycare beacuse I can't take 2-4 weeks off work. I flat out can't. I have so much anger at my boss right now because she disnt feel she could handle this shit anymore and needed a break so went to the beach and is probably in total denial that it was a bad idea.
@@@our daycare is open literally just for my girls right now (in home care) and if we get them sick, I'm going to feel so horrible and guilty since they have other health issues. She literally only opened for us because she knew we both had to work and wanted to help us out. Yes, she knows what we do and still opened but that doesnt mean I'm going to take chances with their health. And i really dont understand why more people cant seem to think that way and have some fucking compassion for the people in their lives they're going to hurt when they dont take this seriously. (Meaning people not on this board, I think everyone here is taking this seriously)
And I do think school reopening talk has been upsetting people and making it worse for people, for a lot of reasons, including the reminder of how hopelessly entangled all our systems are.
@ I don’t even have school aged kids and yet I seem to have glommed onto back-to-school issues as my obsession of choice. So many unknowns. And what if’s and have they thought of’s. And and and ...
Yes because as someone said above the “we are all in this together” attitude has completely gone away. I’m so sick of people who are too fucking selfish to wear masks so we could slow the spread.
I feel angry seeing people go about their lives and taking trips and whatnot. Meanwhile I’m in a relatively well controlled state and haven’t done shit.
@@@ And my kid’s daycare is still not open. Meanwhile people in other places are going to bars, casinos and the beach. Wtf is that?!? And when will my kid get to go to school?
Every week I continue to feel like I live in an alternate universe. My BIL and his family are living as if nothing has changed. BIL is trying to talk H into a guys casino weekend in a few weeks. WTF. Thankfully H is level headed enough to tell him its a bad idea. But the others will still go. Oh, and H's whole family is also attending a wedding this weekend.
We got an invitation to a graduation party at the end of July. My husband and I were a bit side-eye towards it.
This week, Facebook is proudly informing me that the family, graduate and several graduate friends plus their families flew to Aruba together.
I. am. so. shocked. I am in the Northeast where Covid is being taken relatively seriously, too.
Unless they fly home today, they will not be home 14 days before this party. We were already 90% no but I’m glad they were dumb enough to post on Facebook so we can completely say no.
To answer the actual question - I feel awful some days and okay others. It’s almost like grief in that I’ll be standing in calm waters but suddenly a wave will overcome me. I don’t see it coming but I have to feel basically *everything* associated with it and then it recedes and I’m okay again.
The waves are different. In March, they were acute issues and now they are chronic, longterm problems that don’t have easy fixes. Mental health in so many around me has eroded to worrying levels. I can’t fix any of it. I often feel like I’m in water just trying to keep heads above water and get through a really bad storm.
Post by RoxMonster on Jul 13, 2020 11:46:02 GMT -5
I feel worse the closer we get to @@@@@schools opening (I’m a teacher). I put many of my thoughts in that thread so I won’t repost them here.
IL has handled this all pretty well but I was always nervous about phase 4 and as expected, cases are now on the rise locally and state wide. Pritzker has said he will take us back to an earlier phase if need be but so many people just won’t do it. We’ve had people suing him and a ridiculous judge actually sided with them. It’s nuts. SO MANY people locally bitching about masks.
I've been doing fine so far, but now I'm trying to figure out when I can re-retire from my present job which is union representation for non-teacher school workers (EA's, cooks, bus drivers, custodians, etc.). I know things are really going to get difficult with the upcoming school year, and I'm not sure if I have the stones (and energy) to carry on with the responsibilities and headaches with potential lay-offs, schedule and work load changes, etc. I don't want to leave my "peeps" in the lurch since I'm in negotiations with several districts, but I am planning ahead as to when it would be a good time to be to bow out from the workforce once again. Adulting is hard, yo.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny